


Hell of Your Own Design

by PaperAnn



Series: Triptychs And Tyranny [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Dean, Character Rebirth, Demon Dean Winchester, Explicit Sexual Content, Jealous Dean Winchester, M/M, Multi, Plot, Possessive Dean Winchester, Rimming, Top Castiel, Topping from the Bottom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-21 04:53:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 84,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2455469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaperAnn/pseuds/PaperAnn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>WARNING: Sequel to 'Hell of a Long Way Home'</i><br/><i>If you haven't read it, please do so before proceeding. Just click to the first installment of the 'Triptychs and Tyranny' series.</i> </p>
<p>Death was fond of the Underground and had given the people rewards for their stand against the Trilogy - rewards in the form of choices.</p>
<p>Some had chosen rebirth on Earth, a clean slate, another chance at life.  Others retained their memories and help lead and guide the new world in it's creation. They wanted to feel and experience their victory, rejoice in the knowledge of how hard they fought for it.  Some were tired. They retired to heaven to relive their fondest memories.</p>
<p>Others... didn’t have a choice. Two souls were destined to fuel the Earth's rebirth.</p>
<p>However, that excuse isn't good enough for family. They are bound and determined to find Sam and Dean.</p>
<p>Even if they don't like what they find.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“It’s only one little universe,” Death would remind her, but with playful humor in his voice, because he had grown fond of this 'little universe’ too. “Let’s hope nothing like this happens again.”_
> 
> _Now, as Tessa walked the newborn trails, where little tufts of grass were starting to sprout, and the sun was shining through the clouds without the retched smell of smoke, she also felt loss among that pride. She mused about how things had changed, and tried to be objective about it, but heartbreak was something that couldn’t be objectified._
> 
> _She wasn’t alone now, though._
> 
> _Death had been in an oddly giving mood that day, but perhaps it had to do with the number of causalities._
> 
> _He was fond of the Underground and the hope people had clung to. Death had given them rewards for their stand against the Trilogy._
> 
> _Rewards in the form of choices._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, the sequel to HOALWH! If readers are just now tuning in, this isn't one of those stories you can jump into at anytime, you HAVE to read the first part. Just trust me on this. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Updated 2/19/15

Tessa, as far as reapers went, hadn’t had _that_ long of a run, or millenniums of time to establish much credibility. However, none of that mattered, because escorting souls to heaven or hell was overshadowed in comparison to watching the Earth be reborn atom by atom, cell by cell by something _she had aided_ in doing. She couldn’t take credit for that, but she _could_ proudly say that her friends- yes, _her friends-_  were the ones who saved the universe.

“It’s only one little universe,” Death would remind her, but with playful humor in his voice, because he had grown fond of this ’little universe’ too. “Let’s hope nothing like this happens again.”

Now, as Tessa walked the newborn trails, where little tufts of grass were starting to sprout, and the sun was shining through the clouds without the retched smell of smoke, she also felt loss among that pride. She mused about how things had changed and tried to be objective about it - but heartbreak was something that couldn’t be objectified.

She wasn’t alone now, though.

Death had been in an oddly _giving_ mood that day, but perhaps it had to do with the number of causalities.

He was fond of the Underground, and the hope those people had clung to. Death had given rewards for their stand against the Trilogy.

Rewards in the form of choices.

Some could choose rebirth on Earth, forgoing their memories of the Trilogy and watching the end of the world. They were offered a clean slate, another chance at life.

Others could retain their memories and help lead and guide the new world in its creation. They wanted to make sure nothing went awry again. Many of the warriors jumped at this choice. They wanted to _feel_ and experience their victory, knowing how hard they fought for it.

Some who were just tired were allowed to retire to heaven to relive their fondest memories from their lives before, or new ones they had managed to create in the Underground along side family and friends.

Others... didn’t have a _choice._  Due to the prophesy, it was made for them. Those souls couldn’t help but be the fuel of the sacrifice, that was needed for the others to have their own happiness.

Some souls were lost in the turnover, and Tessa was bound and determined to find them. _Two souls,_ in particular. Death wouldn’t tell her if they were gone for good, or they were just very well hidden - he was cryptic. Tessa didn’t come to expect anything else. Which was why she _needed_ to search.

Yet, out of all the choices, one individual’s choice baffled her more than any other, even _after_ five years of the new world beginning to rebuild and thrive.

“So, where do you want to look today, Tes? Another crack in Mount Fuji? Maybe Neptune’s orbit again? _That’s_ always a good time,” Ruby sneered, as she casually kicked a small rock along side the path they were walking, “Although I doubt little Sammy and Deano could hold their breath that long, there’s always hopin’!”

Tessa snorted, _more_ than used to the woman’s sarcasm after the last five years. She was now a fellow reaper, “Yes, we'll continue our search, we have to find them, eventually. Unless they don’t _want_ to be found.”

\-------------

“-tiel? Castiel?”

When he snapped out of his daze, he nearly knocked over the glass artifact he was supposed to be explaining. Nearly sent it _flying_ , clear off the table. Castiel’s hands reached out to steady it and shook his head awkwardly before making sure it was secure and clearing his throat.

“Yes, sorry, Hannah.”

“Do you need a break, sir?” There was blatant concern etched into her features and she knew him all too well. Lying wasn’t an option, when Hannah was watching him.

“I apologize, I don’t seem to be in the right head space today,” he admitted, and sunk back into his chair. “I’ll examine this soon, I think I need some time to myself.”

She carefully wrapped a silk cloth around the sculpture and scooped it up with both hands. While it was cradled in her arms, and before she walked away, she bluntly finished with, “I hope one day it gets easier, sir.”

Once the door shut, Cas exhaled and collapsed his forehead down onto his crossed arms. At least, this time, his aim was careful or else he would have had a face-full of unforgiving wood. 

She was wrong.

This was _never_ going to get easier.

He’d lost the _one thing_ he had been fighting, tooth and nail, to keep alive.

Of course, the world had been saved, but in the peace and tranquility... Castiel was losing sight of _who_ he was, and _what_ he was even _doing_.

He knew what to do on a battlefield. He knew the keys to survival, to maintaining order and hope in a society of nonbelievers. He knew how to _inspire_ , how to stay alive and how to keep those he loved alive.

But those he loved weren’t _here_.

They had chosen to remain on Earth to help in the reconstruction. And here he was - a replacement for a god who didn't care and had left them for dead.

A fucking _figurehead_ , when he could he _helping_ elsewhere.

Who was _he_ to question the prophesy?

He laughed bitterly at the thought and a new anger flared inside him at how absurd everything was. _This_ was what he was fighting for, but he was miserable.

He had lost the one thing- the _one thing_ that-

Even five years later, it still hurt. He could feel his heart threaten to cave in - his soul about to implode and cease to exist. He had searched everywhere, he had done everything. He had even gone as low as to make a deal with Crowley but everyone - every damn person out there told the angel he was _gone_. He’d died before they could put the world back together, he was the last sacrifice, but Castiel _refused_ to believe it.

Not because he was stubborn, even though he sure as hell was...

But because... when he felt like he was breaking all over again, he felt little... surges of warmth, caressing his heart.

A reminder of Dean’s grace, that was still a part of him.

If Dean was dead, _why_ was it still there, comforting him in his bleakest thoughts, in his darkest hours?

Sometimes, Castiel could even feel phantom _limbs_ around him, and in the beginning he chalked it up to insanity. He figured it was his mind about ready to literally break and shatter into a million pieces. But after the chaos ended - Gabriel gave him a pep talk. All his friends figured out (they were bound and determined) they would be able to put the world back into place, and they were there for him. They'd be following his game plan, and drawing inspiration from how Castiel, himself, constructed the Underground. While that _should_ have made Cas beam with pride... it didn't. His feelings of loss over Dean? Those feelings didn’t go away when things calmed down.

They just... Intensified.

Like in _this_ moment.

Castiel could feel the brush of grace grazing his cheeks, telling him to get his shit together. This would have been Dean’s way of calmly, but assertively, getting him with the program. But it was just a shallow touch, it wasn’t real. Cas had even experienced ghosts, and he knew this wasn’t a poltergeist or vengeful spirit. This was his mind relating the essence to qualities Dean would share. He was tricking _himself_ , but one things he knew was _not_ a trick. The man he loved was still out there, and he was _going to find him._

\------------

“Still nothing to report on the home front,” Gabriel grumbled as he kicked around, and swam back and forth, in a hot spring. It was surrounded by tall grass and, no joke, a few fairies were being used as make-shift lanterns.

Benny and a brunette woman were sitting along side the water, when they heard news they had visitors, and hoped to get something out of the report.

“Looks like Sam really got fucked over, ending up with _you_.” Ruby sneered, “All you’ve been doing is relaxing as the ruler of Purgatory. While _I,_ who - mind you - was flat out _rejected_ , have been spending, like, the entire last _half decade_ searching for him.”

“Don’t fuck with me, little girl,” his voice was deadly as he took a step out of the water, “I’m glad you’ve been getting in some mileage in those cute little stilettos, but no one wants to find him more than I do.”

She rolled her eyes and tossed her dark hair over her shoulder, “Is that-”

“ _Ruby_.” Benny warned, as he put himself between the two and gently pushed her away, “Gabe knows about twenty different ways to kill a reaper. You’re no more invincible now than you were then.”

“Leave, Ruby,” Tessa ordered the woman. She had been hoping her 'partner' would've been on her best behavior, but she was proven completely wrong. Again. “I’ll catch back up with you on Earth.”

“Whatever,” she gave Gabriel a roll of her fingertips, “Once we find him, maybe I’ll be nice and tell him you’ve only fucked a few hundred creatures, rather than a thousand. Good to see Loki’s enjoying his throne.”

Before he could reach out and rip her in half, Benny and Tessa both held him back, “Brother, don’t let her get under your skin.”

Gabe ran both hands through his hair and spun around himself in a circle, “Tessa, I need to talk to you, all right?”

He was distressed, and it wasn’t just from Ruby. The reaper allowed herself be pulled away. She was thankful he had the common courtesy to manifest pants, when getting out of the hot spring. You honestly never knew with Gabriel.

They walked through the fogged and dense forest, creatures skirting around him, all bowing along the way, until they came to a stop in front of a display of rocks. Tessa knew what it was, but she didn’t say anything, it was the porthole to Earth. It wasn’t as if either of them needed it, but there must have been a reason he brought her here.

“Gabe?”

“I... I can hear him sometimes, you know? I knew if he was prancing his happy ass around, it would get reported back to me. I could hop anywhere and snatch him up, but it’s not like that, no one - no monster - whatever, has seen him. It’s like he’s caught somewhere in-between. But _here_ is between.” He was rambling and pacing, “It keeps getting _louder_. It’s not like he’s whispering, not anymore. It’s something I’m seeing him out of the corner of my eye... I can _hear_ words, but don't understand what they _mean -_  and it sucks, it fucking  _sucks_.”

Tessa placed a hand on his shoulder to try to calm him down. Then, jumped as she _felt it._

“Gabriel, you... Have a piece of his _soul_?”

His mouth opened and closed, dumbly, but then he nodded, “’S not like I took it. He wanted me to have it. Gave it to me.”

“Then he _is_ still here, lay down!” She didn’t ask, so much as _shoved_ him down to the grass.

“Woah, there, at least buy me dinner first!”

“Do you want Sam back or not?” She narrowed her eyes. “ _Why_ didn’t you tell anyone this _before_?!”

“It was personal!” Gabe grunted as he felt the reaper’s fingertips scratch the shell alongside the outer edge of the soul piece, “It was between _us_. I didn’t want anyone else to take it away from me and-”

“But it will work!” She shouted, “Do you trust me?”

“You’re serious?” His eyes were wide, “God. _Yes_. Bring him back, please.”

The glow from inside his chest amplified into bright flashing lights - of greens, blues, reds and purples - the heat from the gateway that Gabe had been ‘hearing the voices from’ started spewing and shaking. It kept growing hotter and hotter, and the ground was starting to sizzle surrounding their bodies. Neither the archangel nor reaper minded, even if it could have destroyed a human.

It wasn’t until a solid, tall and beautiful shape came _flying_ through the porthole that Gabe even _moved_.

“Holy. Fuck.”

Sam was dazed and drenched, now covered in the dirt of Purgatory he had been vomited out into. Gabriel scrambled to grab him and pull him into his lap and kiss every inch of his face.

“Tessa, what did you do!?”

“I have no idea where he was lost in,” she admitted honesty, “But souls? They’re like magnets - if you were hearing him coming from this porthole, the rest of his soul must have been calling out to you. You were just holding onto him _too tightly_ inside of yourself to let _him_ grab enough of a pull back.”

“I _am_ a fucking possessive cocksucker,” he leaned down and buried his face into the mop of Sam’s hair. “Woah...”

“What?” Tessa cocked her head to the side.

“He still smells like the river from the Underground...” Gabriel’s eyes were wide as he started tapping Sam’s cheek lightly, “Hey, babe, wake up, all right?”

“G-Ga...” Sam grumbled out, “You... Playing lifeguard now?”

“I’ll always play Baywatch for your sexy ass,” Gabe smirked, but then caught himself - he couldn't be distracted, he had to ask the important things - and lifted his chin to meet Sam’s eyes, “Where’ve you been?”

“You shoulda lemme drown, only o-one can survive. ‘s gotta be you.”

Gabe’s frowned deepened, “Kiddo, I _have_ been surviving, it’s _you_ that’s been MIA for the last five years.”

“What?!” Sam snapped to his feet, “It worked?!”

Tessa and Gabe exchanged smiles and nodded, before Sam wrapped his arms around Gabe and gave him a little _more_ than a PG kiss. However, as soon as he pulled away, concern was written where joy had been, previously.

“Has Dean been doing good?”

“Uh, well...”

“Gabe,” Sam gripped Gabriel’s shoulder with a little more force than he needed to, but it backfired anyway because it felt like he was squeezing steel. And that sucked.

“We have no clue. We’ve been looking for _both_ of you this whole time, and finding _you_ right now is a pretty fuckin’ _huge_ win. Fuck, I missed you, it‘s been _five years_ , Sammy, I‘ve been going insane.”

Tessa chose that moment to stand up and walk away, knowing her presence was no longer needed. After all, she had something very, very important to report back to the others.

Sam Winchester was alive.


	2. Death's Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“We made our peace. Protected the ones we loved, and jumped. We knew since we came to the Underground the river led to the edge, so it wasn’t as hard as jumping off a cliff like the others... the ones we watched, who couldn’t take it anymore. Jumping into the river was kinda the way that brought us to you, who saved us, so it made sense that it’d be the thing that saved you in the end. Kinda like karma, repaying a favor?”_
> 
> _“Yes. I understand.” Cas said through gritted teeth, he didn‘t need Sam to pretty up the words right now, he needed the cold hard facts. “Go on.”_
> 
> _“And - that was it. The tide was rushing, we tried to stay afloat, tried to stay together as long as we could. Thought it would all be over in a matter of seconds, thought at least I was with my brother. But it... Kept going? Like, it never stopped. There was no end. And it slowed down. We could never get out, but as we floated, we could see things pass.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 2/19/15

Sam honestly felt as though he had been called into the principals office for getting in trouble in the school yard in elementary school. He was seated at a table, looking increasingly awkward next to Tessa, Ruby and Hannah. At least he had Gabriel at his side, holding his hand in a supportive way, although he had to _continually_ bat it down as it kept trying to travel further and further towards his crotch.

Yes, just as school may have been like... if he _had_ gone.

Castiel was in front of him, pacing aggressively, running his hands across his face and looking distressed. He would pause every once in a while, lost in thought, and began pacing again with a new ferocity. Until he slammed his open palms down on the desk and looked between the four in front of him.

“I’m ecstatic you’re back and well, Sam, I really am,” he began, and there was an open honesty along side a quirked smile.

“- but now you’re wondering where the fuck _your_ boyfriend is, am I right?” Ruby cut in, crossing her legs and leaning back in the chair.

She had given Sam a single hug, before Gabriel practically shoved her away and wouldn’t leave Sam alone. In Ruby’s mind, he might as well just piss on him to mark his territory. But she understood.

The love of your life, completely gone without a trace, without a body, without an answer for over five years, suddenly tumbles back into reality?

Yeah, she wouldn’t let go of him either.

However, that wasn’t helping Castiel right now.

Castiel took a deep breath in, trying to calm himself, and then simply confirmed, “yes,” even though there were a thousand things running through his mind. That was one thing he knew for sure.

“Tell him what happened, Sam,” Tessa encouraged, because even though she was there five years ago, and had relayed the story about how the Winchester had made the sacrifice of their lives to save the world... no one exactly knew what happened _after_. And they were all waiting on bated breath for the story, and  _why_ they couldn't be found.

“Well,” Sam cleared his throat and looked around, “Dean and I did it, you know - we were _all_ there at the very end. We saw the black hole less than a mile away, we saw there wasn’t time left, and while _certain people_ kept it from us, there was only supposed to be one survivor from each group,” he shot Gabriel a halfhearted glare, but it was a glare, none the less “It wasn’t until Death told us, i-it was going to be _us_ all along. We were destined to make the sacrifice. So we did. I mean, wouldn’t you?”

Silence met him, because each person in the room had someone they would die for in a heartbeat. Hell, Ruby did just that, in the battle against the Knight of Hell.

“We made our peace. Protected the ones we loved, and jumped. We knew since we came to the Underground the river led to the edge, so it wasn’t as hard as jumping off a cliff like the others who couldn’t take it anymore. Jumping into the river was kinda the thing that brought us to you, who saved _us_ , so it made sense that it’d be the thing that saved _you_ in the end. Kinda like karma, repaying a favor?”

“Yes. I understand.” Cas said through gritted teeth, he didn‘t need Sam to pretty up the words right now, he needed the cold hard facts. “Go on.”

“And- that was it. The tide was rushing, we tried to stay afloat, stay together as long as we could. Thought it would all be over in a matter of seconds, but at least I was with my brother. But it... Kept going? Like, it never _stopped_. There was no end. And it slowed down. We could never get out, but as we floated, we could _see things_ pass.” Sam leaned closer into Gabriel, “I saw you. Well, what I _thought_ was you, but it wasn’t, I couldn’t get your attention, just heard and felt things that had happened, things that made me happy even if I couldn’t touch you-”

Gabriel and Castiel shared a look, but then urged him to continue.

“We saw mom and dad. They were tossing lures into the river, like when we were younger and we went fishing. They smiled and waved to us, like we were swimming like we used to do camping. I might has well’ve had on my floaties,” he laughed and shook his head, “And then the golden retriever I had for a summer was swimming along side us for a while. But then there was a fork in the cave. The current got faster and before I even realized it - because I was goofing around with the pup - Dean was gone. He wasn't beside me anymore, Dean had been sucked down the _other_ way.”

“Was Dean seeing the same things you were seeing, Sam?” Castiel demanded suddenly, “Your parents? Gabriel? The dog?”

“Yeah, he saw our parents fishing, reminded me it was that day I caught my first 'fish.' I was so excited, but then the fish turned out to be seaweed on the bottom of the river,“ Sam laughed, “But...well, when I saw Gabe on my side of the river,” he bit his lip, “He said he saw _you_ on the other side. And then, when I was playing with Bones, the dog, and got distracted, I didn’t know what he was seeing.”

“They were in heaven,” Tessa confirmed, before either of the angels said it out loud.

“Heaven?” Sam repeated, “I don’t think my version of Heaven would be water logged down a river of death.”

“Heaven’s not really all harps and clouds, kid,” Gabriel explained, “It’s a recap of all your favorite memories.”

“But there are also roads,” Cas started pacing again, “Literal roads, doors to pass through, trails, a current in a river, leading you some place different when you chose not to stay there. When there’s something _more_ that you want than what's in front of you.”

“Obviously neither one of us wanted to _die_ , we were doing it because it was the _right_ choice,” Sam was getting defensive, “Do you think we’d leave you guys if there was any other way?!”

“And when you made that choice, the world changed. Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, all of it came back and you both made it to Heaven just in time. How long were you floating down that river, Sam?” Tessa leaned towards him, the dynamics of the situations catching her attention.

This was all fascinating it her, was it a test from Death himself? Did he decide to save them because they were worthy? Even if they _had_ died, their souls were intact. They didn’t simply _disappear_ like they were supposed to. _Why_ did this happen?

“I don’t know, it didn’t seem like more than a few hours,” Sam blinked, “It could have been on repeat, like a record of my greatest hits? But I never saw Dean again. After Bones and I swam away together all of the memories were _my_ memories, not ones we shared. Shit, I don’t know. I don’t even know how I came back. All I know is the last one, the most intense one was...” he paused, a blush rising to his cheeks.

“Was?” Castiel urged forward.

“After we killed Abaddon. And, uh...” he barely glanced at Gabriel, “You know.”

The archangel blinked, “Well, fuck. That would make sense.”

“What would make sense?!” Castiel’s patience was wearing thin, “I don’t have time for this, if we can find Dean-”

“Sam was upset and hurt, I tried to calm him with my grace, we made hot, sweaty, sweet love and he gave me a piece of his soul, happy?!” Gabe snapped back, “Does the class have anymore personal questions?”

“Wait, like, _literally_?” Ruby leaned forward, “I really hope you’re talking about some Valentine Day card shit, because if your best fuckin’ memory happened _not even an hour_ after I died-”

“That’s irrelevant!” Castiel’s rage was building, and a faint glow that was comparable to the archangel momentarily buzzed around him. “It makes sense. It happened by the portal, where the walls between the realms are the weakest. And if Sam was pulling from that memory while Tessa was accessing Sam’s soul piece-”

“It pulled me back.” Sam finished.

“Even if it _was_ five years later,” Ruby shrugged, “Glad all our hard work and searching was for nothing when we coulda just called in the horny Purgatory Master.”

“This is a _different_ realm.” Tessa paused for a long time, not making eye contact with anyone in the room, “It’s not part of heaven, we would have found them in heaven. We searched every single corner, and Castiel would have felt their presence.”

Cas fell back into his chair across the table and rested his forehead in his palms. “There is no soul bond. We never exchanged anything of the sort, to do so would have tainted the Trinity as a group because it’s frowned upon and seen as unholy.”

“Pssh, I see nothing holy about the way you two fucked like rabbits-”

“Ruby, you are literally three seconds away from getting smote,” Gabriel snapped, because he knew his brother. This was not a topic to be fucked around with.

“How do I find him,” the angel slowly raised his eyes to meet Tessa, begging and pleading, “Now that we know Sam was out there, and could be brought back, Dean must be as well - he _has_ to be. Some days... Some days I _feel_ as though he never left. Like I can still feel his grace. I need him back I can’t-”

Gabriel could see him starting to shake and quickly stood up to grab him, “Hey, come on, Cas, you need to relax. Let’s get you to your room, all right?”

He was too emotionally exhausted to argue, he let his brother steer him out the door.

Hannah had yet to say a word, but as soon as Castiel was out of ear shot, she turned to the others, “He hasn’t been doing well. He could fake it in the beginning, and for a while, I thought he was healing. But there’s something _off_. He doesn’t think I notice, and I can’t feel the source of the energy... but he’s stronger than any other angel I’ve known - besides an Archangel. Dean’s grace is still inside him,” she then asked Tessa very gravely, “Is that something we can use? It’s not the soul bond, I know, but it’s something.”

“We haven’t explored links, we’ve only explored them as individuals. We’ve been going about it the wrong way,” Ruby’s entire demeanor changed now that Gabriel had vacated the room, “It’s _possible_ , but I have no experience.”

“If I can come back, so can Dean.” There was no question in Sam’s voice, “Cas and Dean... They’re _meant_ to be. There’s no way. No fucking way Dean can’t find his way back.”

“Your situation was very different,” Hannah didn’t want him to get his hopes too high, “A human and an angel sharing the bond that you did? It's the highest level of intimacy. If they never completed something like that-”

“It wasn’t like we _planned_ it as a back up, okay, it just happened!” Sam threw his hands up, exasperated, “I love Gabe. It felt right. Dean and Cas are supposed to be together. Dean and I were in that river side by side, and all he saw was Cas. If Cas is feeling him right now, we just gotta use that, right? It shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Yeah. Just give us another five years, or so,” Ruby mumbled under her breath.

Tessa squeezed Sam’s shoulder, “You’re right, Sam. I have some people to see. We’ll get your brother back.”

“Hopefully fast. Cas looks like he’s gonna go insane at any second.”

“Do you have a death wish?” Hannah asked very seriously, and coldly.

“Reaper,” Ruby grinned, “Kinda gotta free pass on everything now.”

Tessa sighed, “ _You_ never should have been given that option...”

\--------

Castiel couldn’t rest. He was tossing and turning, his stomach full of knots and indecision. Sam was back. Sam’s soul was in _existence_. That meant that _Dean_ was still out there, and _he_ could come back too. Castiel could play up the part of a leader, he could make the hard choices with a clear head, much like he did when he was in the Underground but when he was alone...? When he was in his quarters and there wasn’t the strong, muscled body of his lover wrapped up around him... he _couldn’t_ escape it. All the pain, the memories...

He still dreamed.

And angels _didn’t_ dream.

But every dream was about Dean, and it was getting harder and harder to wake up to a world without him in it.

It felt like he was slowly going crazy, and there wasn’t a single person he could confide in. However, he couldn't keep it up. So when his brother walked him to his room, he spilled his guts and didn’t leave out a single breath of fear or inclination of how alone he had been. He didn’t want anyone to know, but he knew over these years that Gabriel had felt the same. Plus, seeing the joy of him getting back what mattered most to him was the straw that broke the camel’s back. He couldn’t hold it back anymore.

Neither men were affectionate creatures, angels never having been programmed to act in that way, but they had both been changed by humanity. So when Gabriel offered his embrace, Castiel accepted it gladly and let himself be comforted by the warmth.

Maybe there was hope now?

Once alone again, and staring at the ceiling, he felt the familiar tendrils of what he always told himself was Dean rush through him of their own accord, right to his heart.

Maybe this was a sign?

Maybe Dean was still there, thinking of him.

Maybe this part of him was reaching out, begging for his closeness too, and telling him it was all going to be all right.

Or maybe it was the last manic thoughts of an insane man.

Either way, Castiel was completely emotionally _drained_ , and let his eyes close, knowing that at least he could humor himself by seeing the man he loved in his dreams. If only for a few stolen hours.

\--------

Gabriel nearly knocked down the door to the room Hannah had prepared for himself and Sam upon their arrival and their (unknown amount of time) stay in heaven. Sam was just about to inquire about Castiel’s state when Gabriel shoved him back to the bed with both hands and straddled his hips, kissing him like it was the last time all over again. He couldn’t stop, they practically had five years to make up for, and Gabriel was not missing another moment of it.

Sure, Sam and his trip down memory lane had amounted to what seemed to be a matter of hours, but Gabe’s heart had been _aching_ , and _broken_ for half a decade. He needed to show him just how badly he missed him.

After Sam disappeared from his arms, the earth _stopped_  caving in. His heart knew exactly what that meant and - for the first time in nearly a year - he let the tears flow, cursing the self-sacrificing bastard.

Everyone else had known as well.

Somehow, the Winchesters knew, and they did what Winchesters did. They sacrificed themselves to save everyone _else_.

They all suspected Crowley or Bela, possibly, of spilling the last bit of the prophesy to save their own asses. But when Tessa had come and informed them, with a tired, yet sincere face, that it was all Death’s plan (so help her, if she had said _God’s_ , Gabriel would have blown up the remaining world) and the universe would go on. The new leaders had been chosen.

Castiel, in Heaven.

Gabriel, in Purgatory.

And Crowley, in Hell.

Although, she had foreshadowed there may be a little upcoming civil war for downstairs, it would be nothing as earth-shattering ( _literally_ ) as before.

When Castiel, hysterically asked, where was God in all this, Tessa calmly repeated what she had been told:

“ _Death had reaped God long ago, yet the ripples of life he created continued to flow and change into their own and without bounds or limits_.”

Tessa explained, there weren’t any _rules_ , just _imaginations -_  leftover fever dreams, ideas and ideals - and ripples from a God who had long since passed... who they were still feeling the effects from. So in a way, he was still with them, as a passing shadow, but no where in existence.

It was on the  _eighth day_ , he had died.

It took Gabriel many years after the news to come to terms that a being so powerful, and the times he _thought_ they had interacted was an _echo._  But... it had made sense: a strange, sort of lingering sense. They all had their own ideas about Him when the world was created, whether as a loving provider, a leader with a steel fist, or something in between.

And the angels had been the ones to carry out His words based on what they thought He would want, in those few days they had known their creator.

They were _truly alone_ , as Gabriel had a gut feeling about all along, but now he _finally_  didn’t feel like it.

With Sam twisted up underneath him, he could try to forgot. Try to wash away all the years. It was nostalgic, he honestly smelled like the Underground, something he never thought he’d smell again. When the storms and destruction's closed in, the Underground fell off the map, and thank god Lisa, Pam and Victor had managed to keep an eye on the censors falling away at an alarming pace. They managed to get everyone out and evacuated...

But Sam, mixed with that tinge of Underground, smelled like _home_.

Sam moaned as Gabe sunk his teeth into his collar bone and bucked up, “It _killed_ me, not being able to touch you when I saw you,” the Archangel whispered, his voice hoarse, “Need to touch you now,” he begged.

“Anything you want,” Gabe let his face be cupped and kissed thoroughly, Sam’s tongue re-exploring every inch of his mouth.

He could get lost forever in his touch. Sam supported most of his weight by his forearms, and hands while he kissed him for all he was worth. One thing that Gabe loved about Sam was his strength, he could let Sam take the brunt of his weight as his hands soothed down his toned stomach and worked at the buttons of his pants, quickly unzipping them and ripping them off. He needed him, and he needed him _now_.

Sam’s cock sprung free from the confines of his pants, flushed and leaking. Gabe pulled his mouth away from Sam’s for a second and licked his lips at the sight.

“Please, please, please,” he could have been drooling and not known it, “let me suck you off, babe. I’ve missed your cock down my throat so bad.”

Sam mumbled something that could have been words, but may not have been, so Gabe took that as a sign to snake down his body. Sam took the liberty of ripping off his shirt, but it almost didn’t make it to the ground, as Gabe’s tongue flicked the beaded precum from the slit. Gabriel grinned impishly and sucked the head roughly into his mouth.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been dreaming about this,” Gabe hummed, and it sent shivers through Sam’s spine at the vibration, “Not just this, about everything. You’re not leaving this bed for _days_. Just so you know.”

Sam breathlessly agreed, “I have n-no complaints about that.”

“Good. You don’t have a choice,” Gabriel took the entire length of his cock down his throat before looking at him with simple delight, “I'm not _just_ an Archangel. Ruler of Purgatory. Even more street cred now. Tell me _that_ turns you on?”

“If you don’t keep going, King or not, I _will_ kill you-”

“Of course, my queen.”

\----------

Castiel never really knew if he was sleeping or not, since, _again_ , angels weren’t _supposed to_. But he knew he was tossing and turning, in and out of a haze until two very firm weights pushed down against his shoulders. He found himself on his back, unable to move. But it wasn’t as though he hadn’t been in this position before, either. He had hoped against hope, that these dreams were _real_ , that the Dean he saw when he closed his eyes every night was -

“Shh, Cas, you need to relax.”

He heard his _voice_ , but didn't see his _face_.

Could feel his _touch_ , but couldn't see his _body_.

Maybe he _was_ truly going crazy.

“Can’t, I-”

“Deep breaths,” and suddenly, a brush of wind was next to his ear, flowing in a calming way, demonstrating the way Cas should be breathing.

He tried. He tried so hard.

“Are you real? Are you still here, Dean, is this just all in my head, I-”

“Keep breathing,” the voice laughed, and the slight breeze next to his ear puffed with warmth. “I’ve never _really_ left, but I’m not here. I don’t know where I am but... Where ever it is, I can still feel you. I miss you, Cas, I-”

“Sam’s here.”

Suddenly, the weight was gone, the whisper of a breeze drew back and it was silent in the room.

Castiel was worried that he was well, and truly alone until a shaky question:

“Sam’s _alive_? _Real_?”

“Yes,” Cas bolted up from his bed, looking around, hoping for the touch, “You’re _not_ wandering spirits, this isn’t in your head, you _can_ come back. God, Dean, _please_ come back to me.”

The voice was slow and timid, “But _how_?”

Cas reached out both his hands, and attempted to push a concentration of his own grace into his palms, inviting the energy he _knew_ deep down really _was_ Dean closer again, “We’ll figure it out.”

He had all but given up hope, completely exhausted and ready to collapse back down into bed when he could feel the very real weight of two palms and ten fingers, although there was no physical body.

He knew it, Dean was here.

“I’m going to find you,” he closed his fists, and the warmth was pulled into him, “I love you, and I’ll search the earth all over again for you, Dean.”

“I know, Cas. I trust you." There was a lull of silence before, "But, _hurry_.”


	3. Counterweight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Yes, the river was split,” Sam confirmed, “We were only along side each other for the first, I don’t know, half hour?”_
> 
> _“I believe I know what happened,” Castiel was solemn faced as he stood in front of a gateway out of Heaven. “You two shared very different experiences in your time on Earth. And the way to bring you back to being human was eliminate the energy overflow in your system.”_
> 
> _Castiel thought back to Dean’s words ‘I trust you, Cas. But hurry,’ last night._
> 
> _“When the river split, I think the demon blood and all the horror he went through to get to that point was washed away with the calming touch of Heaven, and that’s why the river carried him through that pass,” Castiel placed his palm on the gate, summoning the energy to open it, “I believe, Dean, filled with holy energy and grace needed to be neutralized somewhere else. I believe his bend of the river took him to Hell.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 2/26/15

A door slammed open and gave Gabriel and Sam _just_ enough time to cover themselves before Castiel marched in with a new intensity surrounding him, blooming from every pore of his body.

“What the _fuck_ , bro?!” Gabriel demanded, wiping sweat from his brow and glaring daggers at the intruder. “Can’t you fucking knock?!”

“You’ve been copulating for hours. It’s now 7am Central Time on Earth, and I have a theory.” Castiel stated, and that’s when Sam’s ears perked up.

“Is it about Dean?!”

“Yes.”

And before he knew it, he was fully clothed, and looked ready to jump into battle. “Where do we start?!”

A loud groan echoed through the room and Gabriel flopped back on the bed, “Way to cock-block. Really, though.”

“I’ve given you hours. Now, let us be on our way,” Castiel turned, and Sam eagerly followed him, flashing Gabriel a puppy face who, of course, gave in.

Gabriel snapped his fingers, and with his clothes on, followed them both into the hallway, “So what is this so called _revelation_ of yours that’s given me blue balls?”

“The river was split, correct?” Castiel turned a corner and walked passed a separate room. He called out to Hannah, who was inside it, “I’ll be gone indefinitely. But I’ll send word of our progress. You’re in charge while I’m gone.”

She actually _smiled_ at that. Hannah knew this was something that would change things for the better.

“Yes, the river was split,” Sam confirmed, “We were only along side each other for the first, I don’t know, half hour?”

“I believe I know what happened,” Castiel was solemn faced, as he stood in front of a gateway out of Heaven. “You two shared very different experiences in your time on Earth. And the way to bring you back to being human was eliminate the energy overflow in your system.”

Castiel thought back to Dean’s words _‘I trust you, Cas. But hurry,’_ last night.

“When the river split, I think the demon blood and all the horror he went through to get to that point was washed away with the calming touch of Heaven, and that’s why the river carried him through that pass,” Castiel placed his palm on the gate, summoning the energy to open it, “I believe, Dean, filled with holy energy and grace needed to be neutralized somewhere else. I believe _his_ bend of the river took him to Hell.”

\-----------

“Guys, did you hear the latest?!” Jo ran out of the house into the yard where her makeshift family was tending to crops, cultivating and helping along the survivors left on the newly blossoming Earth.

“What are you talking about, babe?” Charlie asked, knowing she was covered in dirt, while trying to wipe whatever she could from her face. Ellen chuckled and took pity on her, brushing off a straight-up _clump_ that was matted in her hair.

Had to take care of her daughter-in-law, after all.

“Sam’s back!” Jo announced, out of breath, “Samandriel just contacted us with the news, and apparently they’re going to scour Hell looking for Dean, because that’s where Cas thinks his soul may be since they weren’t expecting Sam to have still been around in the first place so now there’s a chance, and I guess Cas thinks it seems to make sense-”

“Woah, woah, woah, there!” Bobby grabbed Jo’s shoulders before she could keel over, “Sam’s _alive_? Dean _could_ be alive? You better not be joking, little lady, or so help me I’ll put you in a time out until you’re fifty years old!”

“You think I’d joke about this?!” There were tears in her eyes, of happiness, of sadness, no one knew, “Sam’s alive! Holy fuck,” she lunged forward as everyone began to group together for a giant hug.

“Well, shit, since we know our angel pals are gonna be salty about this whole mess, who can we get to sneak us into Hell?”

Charlie and Jo smirked, “Well, I have a couple ideas...”

\---------------

Castiel never had much tact to begin with, so when he barged into Hell with Gabriel and Sam in tow he immediately demanded, “I require full access to your realm, indefinitely.”

Crowley was in the middle of chatting with two gorgeous blonde ‘secretaries,’ whose eyes flashed black when they caught a glimpse of the intruders. Crowley spun around to see who had traipsed their way into Hell, recognized the man and then mumbled, “Oh yes, good to see you too, angel.” He turned to the woman, “Don’t mind us, just need a little chat.”

He wasn’t even a _little_ subtle as he licked his lips, looking at their retreating rears. However, he was quick to turn into the business man he was known for upon the women's exits.

“Oh, so does this mean that as long as I file a request I may gallivant around Heaven, too? I understand you have some social skill prob- what the _bloody hell_ , how is _Moose_ here?!” Crowley blurted and immediately ran over to (uncharacteristically) grab his arm to see if he was even real.

Until Gabriel not to so gently shoved him and barked, “Hands off, he’s _mine_ ,” but Crowley wasn't phased.

“I don’t understand. How is this possible?”

“We need to find Dean.” Castiel was firm, and all mission-focused, “We believe he’s somewhere around here, we just don’t know _where_.”

“Who the bloody hell do you think I am?” Crowley snapped, unable to deal with Castiel right then, “I do a damn good job running this place, haven’t interfered with you blokes _once_. I have _order_ , and don’t you think if the bloody _Righteous Man_ was _wandering_ around down here someone would have _noticed_ and _told me_?!”

“He’s caught between dimensions, but I believe it’s centralized here. You wouldn’t be able to _see_ him. I can only feel him.” Both men had stepped forward enough that they were basically chest to chest, “We will not cause trouble. I only wish to-”

“Blah blah love blah blah,” the demon waved him off and walked back over to his desk, “I get it, my heart aches for you, but you’ve got twodays. I can’t have it looking like the damn angels are walking all over me.  You hear that?   _Two days_!”

“Oh hey, thanks.” Gabriel flashed a thumbs up, "Not that we aren’t or anything, but we’ll pretend to keep up the image. And please,” he narrowed his eyes, “Stop staring at my boyfriend, por favor.”

“Just get the hell out.”

\-----------

There were clicks in tandem across the marbled floor. You could hear the confidence, bravado, and instantly tell the woman weren’t wearing heels any shorter than six inches. You could practically _see_ the hip swings, the tossing of hair with each poised step and the matching smirks as the foot falls grew closer and closer.

As the women rounded the corner, they did not disappoint.

The sky-high heels were a prelude to skin-tight black pants that swung dangerously low around muscled legs and full hips. Where one woman wore a blood-red laced shirt, plunging low to reveal an obscene amount of cleavage, the other wore a deep purple satin blouse that hugged her curves in an equally sensual way. They were both clad in black leather jackets and with spattered flickers of jewelry and _impeccable_ makeup.

A sight for sore eyes, but more dangerous than most things on the planet.

Or Heaven. Or Hell.

“ _Damn_ , ladies,” Charlie grinned, “Looking _fine_.”

“Put your tongue back in your mouth, girl,” Ellen snapped, “You’re with my daughter, ya hear?”

“You know I’d never do anything,” Charlie pouted, but hopped up to hug both women, “I just love my bitches and I appreciate beauty when I see it!”

Both accepted the hug, which may have started with Charlie, but didn’t end until everyone else in the room got a chance.

“Well, shit, what have you ladies been up to? Haven’t heard from you since the days of ‘Rebirth!” Jo asked, after watching Bobby awkwardly pat Meg on the back, rather than giving her a real hug.

She laughed at Bobby, and said out loud, “Thanks for keeping the Devil’s Traps outta it this time, dad.”

He looked awkward and cleared his throat, “Sorry, it was just an experiment. How many times I gotta apologize fer that?!”

Once the “Rebirth” happened, Bobby thought it had been a good idea to see if the lore from days passed _still_ held up, and decided to see if Meg could be held by a Devil’s Trap. Only, he _forgot_ to tell her and she threw a literal tantrum, something he never wanted to see again. Moral of the story... lore _still_ held up.

Although, Meg didn’t come back just demon, like she had anticipated.

After the soul split in the moments of her death before defeating Lucifer (and then Anna’s) it took a lot of negotiating with Death to bring her back - since she technically didn’t even exist anymore outside the energy she gave Castiel, Anna, and Dean. Plus,  _Dean_ was gone.

But after some pleading, trial, error, and a good amount of black magic, they had decided to use the soul split to their advantage. They poured Castiel’s cut of the soul piece into Meg’s vessel, and since Anna decided to come back full angel again, she kept half of Meg to herself _and_ shared _her own_ soul. As much as it sounded like a corny lover’s ring exchange, it was anything _but_. They were _double_ the power they were as individuals, and they were _both_ half angel and half demon - the _correct_ way. Not through blood nor ritual, but by unconditional love and a soul bond.

Which had its advantages, as well as disadvantages.

Such as Devil’s Traps. Anna wasn't a fan of them, either.

“Oh, you know,” Meg kicked back into one of the chairs stationed in the room they'd called the women to, “Traveling. Seeing what’s been going on through the plains, making sure no one’s being an asshole. Clarence has given us some special missions out and about, and we’ve been watching Crowley to make sure he’s done with his stupid ways. Having lots of wild lesbian sex, you know how it goes,” she directed her wink to Jo, just because she _knew_ she’d get a rise out of her.

“Nothin’ you can say can shock us, Meg, we’ve known ya too long,” Ellen actually gave her a fond smile, “But you two look well, and that makes us happy.”

“They know you, babe,” Anna smiled and smacked Meg on the shoulder, “I’m glad you’re all looking well too.”

Ever since she came back, demon blood or not, Anna was back to herself. Her pre-fall, pre-pagan/robot/hot mess of a creature of the Underground, and that was a miracle all by itself. No one had ever witnessed the pure joy when Anna realized she was _all right_ again. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house when she fell to her knees and sobbed tears of joy because she could _think_ , she could _reason_ and nothing was _wrong_ for the first time she could remember since before after her fall.

So, all in all, things were looking up.

“So, are we here for a party, a chat, or is there something evil that needs some bad bitches to take 'er out?” Meg smirked and pulled Anna down to her lap.

“Sam’s alive.” Charlie blurted.

Both women’s eyes widened and they yelped, “What?!” at the same time.

“Have they found Dean!?” Meg demanded, because if there was still _one_ regret, _one_ thing that had been missing when it came to all the good things in her life - it was the loss of her comrade.

She never knew just how close they had become, how much she cared about him until _she_ had come back, only to find out that _he_ was dead.

“No, that’s why we’re looking, and we’ve gotta be sneaky about it, because Cas is looking too, but if he knows _we’re_ looking he’ll get pissed and send us right back here, which is why we need your help,” Charlie pleaded.

But she was _also_ rambling.

And when Charlie was _pleading_ and _rambling_ , it could only mean one thing.

She would be in big trouble if they were caught doing this favor, and it was _only_ something Meg and Anna could help them with. Meg liked trouble.

“Well, how soon do you guys wanna book six tickets to Hell? Red-eye flight? Want a layover in Hawaii? We're at your service.”

“First available,” Ellen confirmed, “We’re ready as soon as you ladies are.”

\------------

Traipsing through Hell was every bit as annoying as Gabriel thought it would be.

His baby brother was obsessive, hearing things, taking wild turns down passageways and random corners because that’s what Hell did to you.

It drove you _mad_.

Crowley, _kudos to him_ , kept it rather well-maintained and orderly, but there were a few random evil spirits or demons which had escaped their cages and needed to be taken down in a fight. Castiel gladly worked out his anger and aggression on those, even though (if they had asked previously) Crowley probably would have instated more of a ’hands off’ policy.

The point was, Castiel was going _insane_ , Sam was trying to save face, but Gabriel knew he was _scared_. Let’s face it, Hell was supposed to be terrifying to humans, that was the whole _point_ of 'behaving in life.' To avoid _this_ … Regardless of whether or not Sam was being flanked by two incredibly powerful rulers _and_ had the blessing of the King of Hell himself, it was still scary as fuck.

“Clearly, this isn’t working.” He mumbled and stopped the group abruptly.

“I don’t understand,” Castiel sat down, while frustration leaked through his voice, on a random rock near where they stood, “I can feel him. Just like I could before but I-”

“It’s Hell,” Gabriel grabbed Cas by both shoulders and forced his attention, “It’s playing games with your head, it’s digging into your hopes, your fear, it knows what to do to make you a wreck, whether you’re buddies with the leader or not. It’s a realm that’s been around loooong before _him_ , it’s just what it’s designed to do, all right?”

“You need another strategy.”

The three men spun around when they heard the new voice.

“Took you two long enough.”

“Not like we have real jobs, or anything,” Ruby scoffed, placing her hand on her hip, “Believe it or not, we’re not at your beck and call and-”

“Ruby-” Tessa warned, “She is right, but we do want to help. We can feel the difference between real energy and the illusion energy Hell uses to confuse the Damned,” she took a few more steps forward, “But we need a guide, someone who can help us navigate so we’re not just searching for a needle in a haystack.”

“Thank god, you guys are here,” Sam honestly praised.

With a scoff, but a mild look of amusement, Ruby replied, “Don’t thank us quite _yet_.”

\-----------

“Knock knock,” Meg didn’t waste anytime walking right into a very familiar office, leaving her friends outside in the ‘waiting room’ protected by Anna.

“Really though, is this a bloody joke?!” Crowley moaned, “Don’t have to deal with you arseholes for _five years_ , and now suddenly the whole lot of you are busting down my door like you own a fucking vacation _time share_?!”

“Well, since someone else has already done the honors of filling you in,” she cooed, sitting on the edge of the desk, “ _We_ want whatever deal _they_ got. But no one needs to _know_ _we’re here_ , all right?”

“And what exactly, do I even owe you?” Crowley growled out, “You don’t have the power those angels do, you don’t have the-”

She slammed her fist into the wall next to his head, and the only noise in the silence of the room was the pitter-patter of shattered drywall hitting the floor.

She smiled sweetly, not drawing away, and remained mere inches from his face, “I have much, _much_ more power than _you_ , sweet cheeks. So. Do we have to bring up a certain cease-fire back, oh, say seven months ago, or is it time to rework the papers? Because I’d more than happily-”

“Two days.” His words and phrases were chopped. “You all will be veiled. Invisible. Find little boy Dean and get the fuck out.”

She withdrew with leisure and a smile, “Always a _pleasure_ , Fergus.”

After she shut the door, Crowley caught his breath, and proceeded to bang his head against the top of his desk. He did _not_ sign on for this. Maybe he should have died in the final battle.  Let the Devil or the ginger Knight take care of these idiots.  This was  _not_ in his job description.

\-------------

“This is him?” Sam asked Tessa, gritting his teeth.

She nodded as Ruby giggled to the side, it was obvious as to why she was so amused by the situation in the first place, and now it was _glaringly_ obvious to see. But Cas wasn’t about to let this stop him. If _this_ was who Tessa thought could help, so be it. Without another thought, he charged forward, with the others flanking him.

“I had honestly hoped to never see you again,” there was a bitterness in Castiel’s tone as he watched every move the man made in front of him.

A snake-like grin and a sneer greeted him, and with the shrug of his shoulders and a snippy tone, he responded, “It’s not as though I sought you out. Last time I checked, it was _you_ who were looking for _me_. Whispers in Hell travel quite fast these days, imagine my surprise. How the tables have turned, haven’t they, dear Cassie?”

“Greaaaaaat,“ Gabriel groaned loudly, “Of fuckin’ _course_ the man we need to see, who knows the lay of the land, is _this_ asshole.”

“Balthazar,” Sam greeted through a clenched jaw, “What are you even doing down here?”

“Not like Cassie was about to let me back into Heaven to play in the clouds with the other angels, seeing as how he can barely stand to _look_ at me right now,” he placed his hands on his hips, “And Crowley did find my humor amusing when I was playing the part of a Trilogy officer under his rule. So it only made sense he’d give me a little role to play down here, if I can make him giggle like a schoolboy _and_ can fight in the case of an invasion. I'm the total package, really.”

Castiel growled dangerously and was quick to invade the man’s space, “You _were_ an officer, there was no jest about it! There was no 'playing the part.' Don’t even try to tell me-”

“Do you _really_ want to rehash out all the details?” Balthazar raised an eyebrow, “Because I’d _love_ to explain the situation again, since it didn’t quite make it _through your skull_ the first time. Now you need me, so I’m not going to grovel, I’m _quite_ over that, so let’s just get to the point, all right?” He smirked and unabashedly licked his lips, “Not that I mind you all up in my space, darling.”

“Are there any rivers running through here?” Sam tried to ease the tension and pull Cas’ shoulder back, but he was as immovable as a statue.

He shot a pair of puppy eyes over to Gabriel, who scoffed, but grabbed his brother from behind, and sent the man nearly flailing, “Come on, answer the kid. Rivers? _Roads_? I know you’re a dickhole now, you remember how we used to have those metaphoric roads in Heaven?” He tried to explain, “Do those exist, ya know, down here?”

“Let me guess,” he eyed the three of them, “Sam Winchester has returned, although that clearly wasn’t _supposed_ to happen, and now you think there’s hope for sweet little Dean?” He turned back to Castiel, “Before I ask ‘why should I bother’ because I know it will be met with a threat, no doubt, I honestly would like to know why _here_? Why do you think you’d find him in _Hell_?”

“Can you help us or not?”

Balthazar sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, “I‘d say no.”

A moment passed, and he looked back up, directly into the pleading, blue eyes of the angel he’d always been head-over-heels in love with.

“But unfortunately, after all this time. I _still_ can’t say it to you, Cassie. Come along. I can’t promise anything, but I think I may know Hell’s equivalent of the nonsense you’re speaking of.” He turned his back before he could catch sight of the relief on Castiel’s face.

He was disgusted that he had lost to that hairless ape, and after all this time, Castiel _still_ hadn’t given up hope of finding him. But more than that, it hurt to know that heartache the angel was going through, and if there was something he could do about it... he would. Just as he had before the fall of the Trilogy, and all the double-crossing and backstabbing, it had always _been for Castiel_. And it would _never stop_ being for him, either. _Love_ , was a bloody cunt.

\-------

_He could feel himself falling from the edge, over and over again. He could see it, burned into his eyes (he thought for a while, there had been something with the river) but all he could remember was being up on that ledge with Cas in the pouring rain, the gale-like storms, the cracking rocks and pavement._

_The way Cas tried in vain to push the rain water from his eyes and those last words he spoke:_

_“I’m glad. I found you in the desert that day. I’m glad for every second I had the honor of being with you after that. There’s no one in the world I’d rather fight along side of, or die along side of. I love you, Dean Winchester.”_

_“I fucking love you, Cas,” and when he lunged forward, to try to spend his last seconds of life kissing the lips of the man he loved, the shifting stones underfoot gave way and the edge was_ right there.

_He tried to reach out, tried to grab him, and if he’d been a half second quicker he wouldn’t be staring as Cas tumbled backwards as the Earth consumed their last footfalls._

_“Cas!” He screamed at the top of his lungs, and felt the tears fall down his cheeks, even heavier than the pouring rain beating against his face._

_“Jo!” He heard, yelled into the background, and when he whipped around, he saw the blonde. She was curled up in Charlie’s arms, bleeding from the head from a rock that must have toppled over. “Jo! JO!”_

_She was hysterical, Dean was numb as he looked over the edge and suddenly felt a pair of arms pulling him back, and spinning him around, “Nuh-uh-uh. Can’t dive in after lover boy. You’ve got much more to see,” he cooed._

_A sharp pain went through his side, as he watched the devil plunge the blade all the way through him, “There’s that back, for you. You seemed to have dropped it somewhere, so I thought I'd return it to the owner. Wish I coulda done that to Cassie, but his balance sucks, wouldn’t you say? Definitely not Olympic-bound.”_

_Dean fell to his knees and tried to pull the weapon out, but the teeth tore at his flesh and it was lodged too damn deep. There was no getting it out, as Lucifer pranced through the storm over to where Jo and Charlie were on the ground._

_He ran a hand through Charlie’s hair and announced, “Sorry your girlfriend’s dead, Ginger. But I can help with that,” he gave her a sincere smile, as she looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes, just soon enough, to see the glimmer of the angel blade before it slit her throat._

_Charlie’s body toppled over into a lifeless pile of flesh with Jo’s on the ground._

_Lucifer smiled as he kicked them off the ledge one after the other, as Dean began screaming, “You’re dead! We killed you!”_

_“Very astute!” He clapped at the observations, “We’re both dead, actually. Well... You killed me before I was able to go to an afterlife, so technically I’m just a projection of what your worst nightmare would be, so I’m not exactly real, tragic, I know. However, I promised to make you watch me kill your friends, so I’m making good on that. Welcome to Hell, Dean.”_


	4. Love vs Survival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Dean choked on one sob after the other before he hurled himself off the edge. No matter what, he wouldn’t touch Cas._
> 
> _He could never hurt Cas._
> 
> _Couldn’t hurt Cas._
> 
> _Never hurt Cas._
> 
> _“Nuh uh uh,” Lucifer scolded, while holding on to the carnage wrapped around Dean’s neck like a noose, holding him from falling into the abyss, “You have to. One of these days, you will take a knife to your boyfriends throat, I won’t do it for you. Love always dies. Always.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 2/27/15

“We found Sam at a weak point in between dimensions,” Tessa explained to Balthazar as they walked, the rest holding back, making the choice to stay as far away from the traitor as possible. “I know there are a few down here, could you show us those locations?”

“I don’t think that’s the right idea,” Ruby grumbled, “I think Cas had the right idea about the paths and doors. You guys got _lucky_ with the soul piece, because Gabe had sticky fingers. Dean and Cas didn’t have anything like that, so we’d be more likely to find him somewhere along a path.”

As much as Gabriel wanted to snap at her, she was right.

It had been pure luck, and a little bit of a cheat, actually, that he was able to pull Sam out from that other dimension. A dimension _not one_ of them knew even existed, or knew how to get to.

It was more likely to find Dean along the pathways.

“I concur.” Balthazar kept his attention focused on the reapers, because, if he was honest, being around anyone but the two women was a little bit painful. As much as he hated to admit it. He had a history with the two reapers, they had known the things he would do for the end to justify the means, and their quiet judgement was better than the violent reaction and negative (maybe even _murderous_ ) energy which was radiating from the others. “There’s a maze. A labyrinth, a form of torture that some souls find themselves in and never escape from. While it’s not exactly like the pathways of heaven, it may as well be the equivalent in hell, because there is no way _out_. You never know you’re going around in circles, even though you see the light at the end of the tunnel.”

“Uh, can _we_ get out?” Sam didn’t want to ask the obvious, but it was a valid question.

“Don’t you remember who you’re with, Sammy?” Gabe wrapped an arm around him, “Let’s jump in! But not a river... I’m still pissed at you for that...”

Sam just chuckled, “I know, Gabe, I know. No more rivers, _promise_.”

“Atta boy.”

\-----

_“That’s it, Dean,” Lucifer whispered in his ear, “Doesn’t it feel good to be the victor? To be the last person alive on earth? Better than being dead, right?”_

_He ran his hand through the short, blood stained locks as Dean’s dead eyes looked up at his. His hands were covered in Garth’s blood._

_“Why do you keep making me do this?! Over and over... What do you get out of it? Why?!”_

_“I’ve had to kill my own brethren for survival, Dean, it’s just how it works,” he smiled, and hopped down to take a seat next to him._

_His smile turned wicked as he grabbed his angel blade and used it as a scalpel, tearing a clean line from Garth’s rib cage to his pelvis. He shimmied a little before he reached into the cavern of his torso and began digging and tossing aside his innards, a few splattering as a heavy weight against Dean, until he began pulling out strings of intestines._

_“It’s almost Christmas, Deano! And it’s only us. Whatcha say we find a tree and decorate? No? Not in the holiday spirit?” Lucifer reached down and smeared his hand along Dean’s cheek, before draping the entrails around his neck like a scarf, “We can always play dress up and have a fashion show.”_

_Dean doubled over, and screamed, pounding his fists into the rock beneath him as Lucifer sashayed in the other direction, “I think a mask would go lovely with the look you’re sporting. We can make it avant garde. And since I know you loooove_ this _face so much,” he knelt down next to Castiel’s cold body, and pulled out a knife, “whatcha say we play masquerade with your most favorite one?”_

_Dean choked on one sob after the other before he hurled himself off the edge. No matter what, he wouldn’t touch Cas._

_He could never hurt Cas._

_Couldn’t hurt Cas._

_Never hurt Cas._

_“Nuh uh uh,” Lucifer scolded, while holding on to the carnage wrapped around Dean’s neck like a noose, holding him from falling into the abyss, “You have to. One of these days, you will take a knife to your boyfriends throat, I won’t do it for you. Love always dies. Always.”_

_Dean was choking._

_Couldn’t breath, couldn’t speak, but he knew in his heart he was wrong._

_Love didn’t die._

_But he would._

_Day after day, he died._

_And it would all start all over again._

_Tearing apart each and everyone of his friends._

_But never Cas._

_Never._

_Ever._

_Ever._

_Cas._

\------

The labyrinth had been a bust. Just screaming souls that had worn on Sam’s nerves, bearing witness to the _real_ demons out there and without a pull or feel or _Dean_ anywhere.

Balthazar’s next idea was taking them to Tessa’s _first_ idea - some of the weaker walls of Hell - that lead to places like Purgatory, or where the angels would check on happenings from Heaven. Still, Gabriel and Castiel insisted that it was all _wrong_ again. They would have _known_ if he was there, not only had they _checked_ , but they were in those areas all the time as part of their duties, as well as all their subjects and the two Winchester brothers were the _greatest_ _known_ and _sought-after_ faces in _all_ the dimensions. There wasn't an angel, demon or human who didn't know their faces. And the reward that awaited them if they gave any information, or (even better) if they _delivered_ them to their realm leader was unfathomable.

Ruby and Gabriel were butting heads before long, so Ruby decided to take her leave and do some reaper duties on Earth, ‘Where she was much more appreciated.’

It was strange, because one time, while walking - Tessa laughed... and the angels could have _sworn_ they felt a familiar presence.

But it wasn’t Dean.

So they ignored it.

They kept searching on, becoming acquainted with Hell from top to bottom.

\------

The ‘humans’ thought it would be difficult to run around Hell. What they didn’t expect, was Meg’s devious (and frankly _genius_ ) idea to be veiled from the demons and spirits lurking around the corners. They froze in their tracks as the group of friends they were trying to avoid walked _right passed them._

Tessa gave them a laugh, a shake of here head and a wink, but that was all.  After all. No one could hide from a Reaper.

Meg was a godsend, with this veil thing. She was currently linked with Anna by the hands and mumbled out, “Mm, home sweet home, kiddos. But the kind you always want to run away from, am I right?”

“Damn straight,” Bobby mumbled, as he continued walking, “Now if I were Dean, where would I be hiding?”

“It’s not as easy as all that, from what I’ve heard,” Jo sighed, as they walked down the side of a literal _river of molten hot lava_ , “He’s caught in-between _somewhere_. But rumors are that in-between is here? At least that’s what Samandriel overheard...”

“Boy’s a damn gossip, I love it,” Charlie grinned, “But why would _we_ be able to find him better than _Cas_?”

Jo glared at her immediately, "Are you trying to say it's pointless for us to be down here and we should sit quietly upstairs with our hands folded, waiting patiently like we're useless?"

“Devil’s advocate, here!” She tried to defend.

“Calm down, ladies.  We'll be able to find Dean better because of _me_ ,” Meg said simply, swinging Anna’s arm playfully, “I was the _demon_ part of him, and if he’s in Hell I should feel my comrade, right? I can hone in on that energy, decipher what's true evil and what's Dean. I'll be able to win 'Which of These Things Is Not Like the Others." This is my _home,_ remember? And plus, he started out human. He was never supposed to be an angel, which is why an angel would have the _hardest_ time finding him in the first fucking place.”

“Seems logical to me,” Ellen nodded, “Don’t look all pissed off, sweetie, we’re gonna find him,” she wrapped an arm around her daughter, “This is the best shot we’ve gotten in ages.”

“I know mom, I know.”

\------

It wasn’t like a drug withdrawal.

Except- _it was_. He couldn’t explain to the others _why_ he needed to rest, _why_ he needed to be alone, because _he_ didn't have a good excuse. No excuse _at all_ , actually, he should be the one leading, as the driving force, and keep the group moving until they were running on empty. He was chasing after the first hope they'd had in _years_ to find the man he loved, after all. Technically, if Sam was the human, he was the only one who _needed_ rest, since his rebirth. Yet, he was still able to keep moving, desperate to find his brother, no matter how shaken by the events and sights he had witnessed in Hell today. So why did _Cas_ need a break?

Because Cas needed to see him.

He could feel him in his dreams, maybe they could talk. Maybe there was a clue, now that they were so close? He was around here, they just needed to figure out where the barrier was the thinnest between the two of them, and Cas couldn’t keep guessing. The word ‘hurry’ kept going through his head, and being down here, not knowing what Dean had been experiencing was terrifying him.

He had told Gabriel...

Gabriel could make something up...

Before he could even open his mouth to ask, when he turned to his brother, he just _knew_.

“We need to relax and regroup for a sec, all right, guys? Think Crowley has a penthouse suite we can crash at?” He waggled his eyebrows, “I’d loooove to get my angels juices all up in that for contamination. Bet he'd love a little Holy all over his Evil Sheets.”

“Ugh, just as charming as ever, Gabe,” Balthazar rolled his eyes, “But, yes, if you lot want to call it a night, we can pick it up bright and early tomorrow.”

Castiel thanked Gabriel with his eyes and swallowed heavily as they were lead to the building that had _Crowley_ written all over it. Den of inequity. Tacky, yet somehow refined, even for _Hell_. He had such a strange talent for bringing together oxymoron's.

“Cas, everything will-”

“I know, Sam, thank you,” Cas hoped it wasn’t being misconstrued as rudeness, he just needed to be alone. _Now_.

If there ever was a chance to connect and to talk to Dean? To pin-point his location, now that Balthazar gave them the tour and he knew Hell from top to bottom? He could talk it through with Dean _now_. He was close, so close he could _taste_ it.

He flung himself back on the bed and closed his eyes, trying to even out his breathing so he could bring himself to that state of sleep where Dean could come to hi-

“What the fuck are you doing here?! How are you-? Where are we?!”

Cas’ eyes snapped open, he was nowhere near sleep, but instead of just feeling the _grace_ and the _light touches_ he’d experience with his slumber in Heaven, this was something _completely_ different.

This was _Dean_.

The flickering image of Dean, on top of him, holding him down, but there was no grace connecting the two...?

It was gone.

There was... Something else.

“Dean-”

“Cas, why are you, what are you...”

But that didn’t mean this image couldn’t hold him tight, and bite kisses into his neck and suck his lip into his mouth. He moaned as Dean’s hands tangled into his hair and pulled roughly until he physically ripped the shirt he’d been wearing all the way off his body.

Dean bit along Cas’ torso, like he was going to eat him alive, while moaning, “Missed you, Cas, but you shouldn’t be here- can‘t hurt you, can‘t-”

Maybe this wasn’t an image at all-

Cas took the chance and reached down to grab Dean’s chin. As much as he wanted him to keep going, he wanted to look at Dean face to face.

Confused green eyes blinked black. Just for a second. And Castiel’s suspicious were confirmed.

This was to _restore order_. Dean was brought to Hell, because he was _too_ good, _too_ holy. _Too Righteous._

Death wanted him to be balanced, to be human again, as part of his plan. This was a sacrifice that had to be made.

He wanted to make it so the Winchester’s could _exist_ in the universe, without disrupting the natural order.

“Dean, what happened?”

He didn’t answer right away, but he did lewdly lick into Cas’ mouth.

“I-I'm Dean... What hell’s done to me. You don’t want me back, Cas, I’ve done bad things, I’m fuckin’ broken, you need to get away before - I’m-”

“The other part of you is still floating in the ether... Like Sam was. The part that was reaching out to me- telling me to hurry-” Cas’ eyes widened, it all made perfect sense now. Everything clicked - there were two parts of him. Dean had lead him to the other half of...  _Dean._

“What the fuck are-”

“How can I touch you?!” Cas demanded as his hands grabbed tightly at the man on top of him, “You’ve never been tangible before-”

He opened and closed his mouth a few times, “Wait...”

“... yes, Dean?”

“You’re _really_ Cas?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve never been fuckin’ real before!” He screamed, and sat back on his haunches, “I thought- I...I was still in my head, in my own Hell -  _holy fucking fuck_ , this is...” he tried to catch his breath as he looked around the room, confusion taking over, but then zoned in right to the man under him, “You’re _my_ Cas. My _real_ Cas. Not an illusion- _alive..._ ”

“Yes, Dean,” He nodded and opened his arms, trying to bring him back, “I’ve _finally_ found you.”

“You said ‘part of me,” Dean raised an eyebrow, as he trailed his fingers over the now naked flesh of Castiel’s chest. “Said some of me is still out there, in the in-between, right?”

“The part that brought me here, lead me to you” Castiel tried to reach up and run his hands over Dean’s biceps, only to be teased, and pulled out of reach. “Dean, what’s wrong?”

“You know what part is _here_ , right?” He leaned forward until their noses brushed.

Of course, Castiel _knew_. He could _see_ it. He could feel it. Hell, he could _taste_ it. It’s not like he gave a shit. He’d found him, he’d found _Dean_ , if only a fragment, the only thing he’d been searching for this entire time.

“I don’t care that you’re a demon.”

He looked surprised, his eyes flashing black, before Castiel used his surprise against him. He flipped him around until Dean had the wind knocked out of him. “I’ve had demon friends, we’ve dabbled in demon blood, it means _nothing_ to me, Dean, _nothing_. All I care about is that you’re back. You're back with me.”

“Some ruler of Heaven,” he sneered, but teasingly thrust his hips against the pelvis of the angel, “Don’t even know the things I had to do to turn out this way? Don’t even care? True love fixes all?”

Castiel shut him up with a rough kiss, because he _knew_ how to handle demons. Maybe not in this specific instance, but he knew they responded better with _physical_ confrontations than _verbal_ ones. He also knew how _Dean_ would respond. And he was glad he did.

Dean growled and surged forward to meet every nip and every open-mouthed gnaw with a growl and a fight for dominance. Castiel didn’t even care that the man’s lust-filled eyes were black as night, because _he had Dean_  and he was going to put him back together. But, in the mean time, he was going to do something he ached for, five long years and counting.

“Really, Cas?” Dean swung his legs around the angel’s still clothed waist and started grinding wantonly, “Haven’t fucked anyone but me? How sweet.”

“Mm, I’ll have to remember to keep my thoughts a little more private when you’re feeling sassy,” Castiel teased, but bent Dean in half at the waist to gain as much pressure as he could against his crotch, “Why aren’t we naked yet?”

“Not my fault you’re sappy and love-struck by my good looks all over again, _hey_!” Dean actually yelped as both of them were suddenly completely nude. Then he remembered and muttered, “Oh yeah. Angel mojo.”

“Yes, but as an angel, I’m also at a loss,” Castiel man-handled Dean by waist and twisted his knees underneath him until he was face-down into the mattress, “Lend me your advice?”

Dean’s breath caught in his chest as Cas’ lightly tracing fingertips teased the underside of his cock, brush even more feather-soft over his balls and then gently massaged his perineum. All the while, taking his sweet time making a full three hundred and sixty degree circle with his tongue around the pucker of Dean’s hole, before his tongue met his fingers in the middle.

“Should I make love to you as the man I’d go to the end of the Earth to put back together,” Cas’ whisper prickled Dean with goose bumps, while he flicked his tongue across Dean’s opening, before tenderly spreading kisses along the globes of his ass, “The man I plan on spending the rest of my eternity with?”

“Or,” his hands dug into those same cheeks to spread them, and tongued deep into Dean’s asshole, “should I fuck you like the mouthy demon,” he pulled away leaving as much saliva dripping between Dean’s leg’s as he could, “I found in hell,” he teased Dean’s puckered entrance with the head of his cock, “who’s just _begging_ to be fucked?”

“Holy shit, Cas!” Dean arched, as his lover pulled away, but then grinned over his shoulder all faux innocence, “Whatever is an angel to do?”

Cas knew that look, so he didn’t hesitate. Demon or not, he still knew it was _his Dean_.

And this was all he wanted.

He was fully sheathed in one, deep thrust that had Dean wailing and arching back. That didn’t mean Cas didn’t kiss his neck tenderly and breathe in every second on his scent. Even if he smelled like hellfire and brimstone, and he was starting to buck back against Castiel’s pelvis, Cas was still going to show him how much he loved him dammit.

“Don’t be all talk, angel!” Dean barked out, “I remember, you could get good and rough with me, let’s see what you’ve got. Prove how much you’ve missed me, because I’ve sure as fuck missed you-”

The words were caught in his throat as Cas wrapped his hand around Dean’s neck, “I’ve miss so bad,” he tightened his grip as he started thrusting into Dean, the way his hips were moving into him, just like he wanted him to.

He wanted to give Dean _everything_ , demon or not.

He moaned loudly as he grabbed a fistful of Cas’ hair to rip his face just close enough to kiss him over his shoulder, all teeth and nips. But, even with the circumstances, it might has well have been a whispered, ‘I love you.’ Instead it came out as, “Fuck, I need that fat cock to fuck me harder, Cas, _now_.” Everything was perfect, and reminded him they belonged together all over again, and he was getting so close until Dean’s dirty talk turned into, “Mm, yeah, just like that, make it hurt, like it hurt when you weren’t with me, make it hurt like that.”

Castiel froze at those word, but Dean kept kissing him. He kept pulling on his hair, his mouth quirking up into a grin as he shoved Castiel’s motionless body backwards on the bed and kept riding him. Relentlessly.

The words echoed in Cas’ mind, but the change in position, and the fact that Dean was riding him to kingdom come, had him thrusting up into his body uncontrollably. He was arching off the bed, his eyes never leaving the perfect view of his cock disappearing into Dean’s ass, and he couldn’t hold it back any longer.

“Ahh, me too, babe,” Dean moaned, and sinfully rolled his hips before increasing his pace to nothing short of brutal. “Cum inside me, angel.”

Cas cried out, as he grabbed Dean’s thighs, needing _some_ contact, needing to know that he was there as his orgasm hit him so hard he nearly blacked out. The sound of Dean moaning was music to his ears as he came down from his high, breathing heavily and slumping over.

Cas reached forward just enough to wrap his arms around Dean’s waist and pull him back towards him, ‘angel mojo-ing’ away the sweat and cum because all he wanted to do right now was lay there with Dean in his arms and never let go. While Dean let himself be pulled down and lay next to the angel he groaned loudly and rolled away.

“Dean?” Cas sat up, concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“This is... Just a lot to take in. I’m confused. As fuck. I wasn’t even _corporeal_... I’ve been in hell, _in my own head_ , and I’m still _missing_ part of me. I’m a fucking demon, Cas. I’m not even me right now,” Dean stood up from the bed and shook his head.

“You are _still you._ And you know - first hand, from Meg, not all demons are malicious, it‘s a choice. I _don’t care_ that you’re a demon,” he reached out his hand to grab Dean’s wrist, “I just care that I love you and you’re with me.”

Dean took in a deep breath, and looked as though the tender touch from Castiel was burning him. “I’m not the Dean you fell in love with,” he ripped his hand out of Cas’ grasp.

He snapped his fingers and he was suddenly fully clothed. Dean dug his hands into his pockets and chortled, “Well, shit. Corporal, huh? Imma go check out what the _real Hell_ is like. Explore and shit,” his black eyes flashed with glee for a moment before he leaned in and placed a quick kiss on Cas’ lips, “We’ll go search for my other half tomorrow, if you’re really tore up about it.”

A simply wicked grin spread on Dean’s face as he looked him over from top to bottom. “Still _so_ fucking _delicious_. Sorry I can’t be what you want me to be right now. But that doesn’t mean my little twisted heart doesn’t still adore you.”

And with that, he was gone.

Castiel was left dumbfounded, alone, and naked in bed.


	5. Red Handed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Hey there, handsome,” her heels ground to a halt, and kicked up some dust as she saw the man in front of her._
> 
> _She couldn’t believe it. She didn’t want to believe her eyes, but the figure in front of her, the energy in front of her, there’s no way that it could be anyone but-_
> 
> _“Oh, hey, Meg,” Dean turned around slowly, “Don’t tell me you rushed all the way over here for little me. Don’t sweat your makeup off for moi, or anything, doll.”_
> 
> _“Holy shit,” she put her hand on her hip, “but really, I should be saying unholy shit.”_

“This is strange,” Meg mumbled as they crossed a bridge and stopped before they could finish the full trek.

She placed her hands in the middle on the railing, looked Anna in the eyes before she closed her own and concentrated. She could feel an energy. An energy that had not been there before, something that was very _real_ , there was nothing phantom or lingering about it. No, no, he was _here_.

“Babe,” she was very deliberate in the way she took the redhead’s hand and gave it a squeeze, “Why don’t you and the others take a break, I gotta do a quick errand, all right?”

Anna nodded, and smiled, trying to put on a lighthearted face in the company of the others. She could sense through their own bond what Meg was feeling, and the demon needed to get a move on _right the fuck now_. “That’s a good idea, I could use a break of my own. See you in a few,” she leaned forward and kissed her cheek, just for good measure. Neither wanted the others suspicious as to what she felt.

Meg shot her a saucy wink, and sauntered off, but as soon as everyone was out of sight she took off running.

_She knew that energy._

Not only did she have to use her _demon_ speed, but her _angel_ speed, she _had_ to get there before it escaped. She had to get there before it was out of reach. Even though it wasn’t moving fast, if it was within her grasp, and she let it get away-

“Hey there, handsome,” her heels ground to a halt, and kicked up some dust as she saw the man in front of her.

She couldn’t believe it. She didn’t want to believe her eyes, but the figure in front of her, the energy in front of her, there’s no way that it couldn’t be anyone _but_ -

“Oh, hey, Meg,” Dean turned around slowly, “Don’t tell me you rushed all the way over here for little me. Don’t sweat your makeup off for moi, or anything, doll.”

“Holy shit,” she put her hand on her hip, “but really, I should be saying _unholy_ shit.”

“Caught me red handed,” as if to emphasize his point, he put his hands in front of him, and not only were they, indeed, red, but his eyes flashed _black_. “Just workin' out some of the kinks. Haven’t been able to move around of my own accord in a while. Cut a guy some slack. Needed some mischief.”

Looking at the tortured soul at Dean's feet, Meg was at a loss. A complete and _total_ loss. Yes, _she_ was a demon, and he was merely _acting_ like a demon. But, in addition, this was _Cas_ ’ Dean. Who, apparently, hadn’t taken well to the torture of hell. She had known of it first hand, it was what brought her to what she was now. What created the animal (or rather, demon) inside her. But she had come back from it. But... this wasn’t all him. _What the fuck was going on._

“Does your boyfriend know you’re out to play?” Was the question she settled on, and gave him a full grin, skillfully hiding any doubts she had floating around in her mind.

If there was one thing any demon was good at, it was bluffing.

“ _Already_ played with _him_ ,” Dean winked, “I think he’s a widdle sad I didn’t stay around for pillow talk though. Sure he’ll get over it.”

“Ohh, Dean, Dean, Dean,” Meg walked over and wrapped her arm around his middle, “Hit it and quit it. Always keeping it classy.”

“Hey! I’m going back! Just having a different kind of fun while I’m away from the ball-n-chain,” he hip bumped her, “No harm, no foul.”

She believed him, though. She could still see love in those black eyes. So there was hope, but she hoped Castiel knew what the fuck he was doing.

“A word of advise, Deano?”

He raised an eyebrow as he casually toyed with the blade in his hand, “Hm?”

“Clean the fuck up, before you go back to your boyfriend. Something tells me he won’t be too happy about you taking so fondly to hell.”

“Eh, fuck off, Meg.”

“Love you, too.”

\---------

  
Castiel still slept.

He was drained, physically, emotionally, completely, as it were, after his encounter with the demon but he _shouldn’t_ have slept. But there was something pulling him there...

And, as soon as he was asleep, he knew what it was.

He was _weightless_. Surrounded by nothing but _warmth_ when he heard a deep, familiar chuckle out, “ _Now_ ya see why I told you to hurry, Cas?”

A wave of emotion rolled through Castiel and he felt a little choked up. He didn’t know if it was _his_ emotions or the Dean he had been feeling for the last five years, but either way, he let out a scoff, and deep breath.

“Yes.”

“I know,” the voice surrounded him in adoration, and he could see that brilliant smile and that outline, “Now you can understand. We’ve... Split. Kind of. I think it was to keep us sane, we were in hell and I... he couldn’t deal with it. I don’t know what it meant, all I know is that we have to be put back together. I need you, Cas, I need to be with you, and only _you_ can do that. I need you to find me, I-I don't know if I'll remember, but...”

Arms wrapped around him and Cas let himself sink into the embrace, “I knew he wasn’t you. Not really. He _is_ you. A _part_ of you. And, _fuck_ , Dean, I-”

Another warm chuckle, “You can do it. I know you can. You’ve done way more badass things than search for me. Not like saving the world was a biggie or anything. Bet it was weird though. And I’m- uh, sorry. You had to see me. Like _that_ , I mean.”

“It _was_ seeing you, Dean, it was all I wanted,” Cas gripped at the heat, and actually felt some resistance, like he, too, was corporal.

“Still a sexy bastard, I know. Annnnd apparently you know as well. I can feel that feeling your body gets when you-”

“Are you mad?”

The grip around him tightened and warmed a little, “Hell no, you never _could_ resist me. I could _kinda_ , almost feel it. Felt good.”

“I’ll find you. Soon, I promise.”

“I know.”

“I love you...”

“I know, you too, C-”

“HEY!”

Cas snapped awake to a familiar weight on his chest.

“Rise and shine, buttercup,” the same voice in his dreams teased, but the voice wasn’t warm, it was malice, and the eyes were flashing black, “Or should I have given you a morning blow job? Aren’t we going hunting? For the other piece of me or something? So you can get him back, and stop worrying about me?”

Cas just blinked for a while, and Dean snapped him out of his reverie by biting his neck.

_Hard_.

Hard enough to cause Castiel to yelp and jolt out of bed.

“Oo, didn’t even bother to put your jammies on after play time, huh?” Dean teased, as he raked his finger nails over Cas’ bare thighs. “Hoping for a round two, or something?”

“I-I’d like to continue our search.” He stammered out, because the dream reminded him that this was only a _part_ of _his_ Dean, and he needed him whole. His dream reminded him of that, and he yearned for that. This demon in front of him was just a tease, and who knew how long it would be before he became tired of this game.

Castiel was, indeed, familiar with demons. As infatuated as Dean was with him _now_ , this was the first time he had become corporal, and as soon as he realized it, he had disappeared the night before, and who knew what he had been doing during that time? No, Castiel wanted more than anything for Dean to have stayed, curled up in his arms like he was _supposed_ to be. How long would it be before he gave into the demonic urges, and took off altogether? He needed to move _quickly_.

“You’re no fun,” Dean pouted, but gave the man room to move, and as he did, gave Castiel’s ass a quick smack, “But I can’t complain about the view.”

The angel pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to figure out just _how_ he was going to explain this to the others.

\---------

“So where did _you_ scurry off to?” Jo asked, as she popped up off a rock as Meg approached the group with a neutral face. “But really, what’s up?”

Her painted crimson lips formed a tight line before they twisted up into a smirk, “Let’s just say things are about to get interesting.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Charlie asked, softly, knowing that _never_ meant anything good.

“Well,” she crossed her arms and jutted out her hip, “We have two options.”

“I don’t like the sound of this, already,” Bobby grumbled, matching Meg’s posture, and gruffly crossed his arms.

“Sooo. We can either join the team, or head back to earth and make preparations.” She said simply.

“Preparations for _what_?” Ellen raised an eyebrow.

“We’ll find Dean. And soon. And we need to be prepared for damage control.”

“Damage control?!” Charlie demanded, “But we’re gonna find him?!”

“Sure as shit, we’ll find him soon,” Meg looped her hand through Anna’s as she took a deep breath, her girlfriend grounding her, because she could feel her distress through the link. Then Meg grandly gestured with her free hand, “And hello? Where has Dean’s soul been? Fuckin’ _hell_. Of _course_ , there will be damage control. Now, do you wanna be part of the search and rescue, or the recovery. It’s your choice. Choose now. There's not a lot of time to waste.”

With gaping mouths, they looked between each other, letting the information that Dean was alive soak in, but also that his soul had been in _hell_.

“I-I,” Jo stuttered, “Fuck.” She kicked at the ground, “Recovery. He’ll need us.”

Ellen patted her back, “It’s the right choice, Jo. They’ll be pissed we’re down here in the first place, so we need to head back up, and make him a comfy spot for recovery. He’ll be fully human again?” She directed her question up to the demon, “That was the whole reason behind their disappearance, right? Changing their souls back to normal, evening out the holy and the unholy?”

Meg nodded, “Yeah. And even if Cas starts kicking and screaming, he _belongs_ back on Earth, _not_ in heaven. He needs to be some place familiar, with his family, as a _human_   again.” She released Anna’s hand and placed both her palms on the Harvelle’s first, “He’s no longer The Righteous Man, it’s his time to relax. It’s gonna be hard at first, but he needs his family. You ready to head up and get a spot made up?”

They nodded, and with a flash of light, were gone.

She turned, next, to Bobby and Charlie, but before she could lay her hands on them, Bobby stopped her abruptly and knocked her hand away.

“’N what exactly is your plan? What aren’t you telling us?”

Charlie knew too, “Meg. Really. There’s something _else_. There’s a reason you sent Ellen and Jo away first.”

She bit her bottom lip and nodded, “Yeah, guess you’re right. Can you keep a secret? From your girlfriends?”

“Of _course_ we can, idjit. As long as you bring that boy back safe!”

“I’d like to know as well,” Anna took a step forward, no longer wanting to be left in the dark.

“Dean’s in two pieces,” Meg shrugged, “The good and cleansed part of his soul is on the other side, behind the part of the ether where Sam was floating.”

Charlie’s eyes narrowed, “Two pieces?”

“What ‘bout the other piece?!” Bobby demanded.

“Oh, you know,” Meg shrugged casually, “Just another demon. Running around hell. But Castiel’s got it under control. Anna and I will stay down here to make sure it stays that way. Deal?”

Their eyes were impossibly wider.

Charlie gulped, “I can see why you didn’t tell the other two.”

“Yep. And now, when we put him back together, be ready for some self-loathing and emotional bandages, kay?” Meg slapped her hands on their shoulders, and they were zapped away without another word.

She turned back to Anna and sighed, deeply rubbing her temples.

She redhead just offered her a smile, “Well, that was an interesting turn of events. I suppose we should join the others now, shouldn’t we?”

“One disaster after another, with that kid. I swear.”

\---------

It was time to face the music, so to speak, as Castiel walked the halls of one of Crowley’s many ‘getaway’ castles searching for his comrades as Dean ducked around him from side to side like a little, mischievous child.

“So who all’s in this search party? Anyone fun? Anyone new? Have you met any badass angels since you’ve been playing god in heaven? I’d ask if you’ve gotten any hot angel ass, but we both know you’ve been sweet and chaste for _me_ ,” he trailed a hand from the angel’s shoulder all the way down his arm, “So _adorable_.”

Cas shook his head and laughed, “Yes, I’m quite adorable,” but he snagged up Dean’s hand, “Searching and waiting for you, even though I found a sarcastic little demon I now need to tame.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, “Oo, you gonna _tame_ me, Cas? Sounds hot. I could get down with that.”

“And to answer your question, you’ll see soon enough,” he turned to the sound of voices down the hall, “try to behave yourself.”

“Can’t make any promises,” his smirk was downright devilish.

Well, _demonic_ , Cas supposed.

He took a deep breath, as he rounded the corner.

“Hey, Cassie we were just wondering when you- what the fuck?!” Gabriel demanded, and then all sets of eyes flew to the source.

“D-Dean?” Sam hesitantly stepped forward, not believing his eyes.

“Heya, Sammy.”

And then his brother ran.

Only to come to a completely stop only feet away by a wink, and the flash of black eyes.

“What’s going on-” Sam barely got out, with a gaping mouth, “You’re--”

“He’s half of Dean,” Castiel explained, “And he’s going to help us find his other half.”

“Huh,” Gabriel just stared at him for a second, looking at him from top to bottom, “This is a strange turn of events. Not the best look for you, Dean-o, but it’s good to see you. Especially if you can help us win where’s Waldo.”

Balthazar snickered, “And Cassie has yet another pet demon. How perfect.”

“Pet demon, huh?”

Another voice called out, accompanied by the clicking of heels, “And who, _exactly_ , are you addressing by that comment, fuck face?”

Meg wore a beautiful smile as she and Anna walked up, glancing at the group they already knew had gathered. Balthazar was quick to shut his mouth, knowing that Meg wouldn’t hesitate to cut out his tongue on a whim, and no one there would defend him.

“No one, darling.”

“Meg,” Castiel’s eyes lit up, “Anna, it’s great to see you, it’s been too long.”

The brunette walked forward and wrapped her arms around the angel before planting a quick kiss on his cheek, “Good to see you too, Cla-”

Except she was abruptly cut off, as Dean shoved her away with a growl.

“What the are you doing?” Cas demanded, at the same time Meg exclaimed, “What the fuck!” and Anna immediately grabbed her before she fell to the ground.

“I know we have a history and all,” Dean narrowed his eyes, “But _keep your hands_ off what is _mine_.”

Castiel opened his mouth to reprimand, “Don‘t disrespect-”

But was interrupted by Dean’s mouth crushing his in an aggressive, powerful kiss. There was nothing romantic about it, it was a show of _power_ , and _possession_. Castiel didn’t know whether to be turned on, or shove him away, so he waited until Dean pulled away and just stared at him incredulously.

“What the _hell_ is wrong with you?” Sam’s almost timid voice asked from behind.

“Oh, hi, have we met? I’m a _demon_ , Sammy, I like to keep what‘s mine, mine.” Dean said it so casually, no one knew how to respond. “Didn’t you say we were playing 'where’s Waldo?'”

However, they knew not to argue. Cas said this was half of Dean, clearly the Dean who had been in hell. And there was the other half of him still out there. They needed to fix this situation, and _fast_.

\---------

Even though the previous day had been a bust, with Dean (or at least half of him) by his side, he felt much more confident and optimist about their chances. Who better to find Dean, than Dean himself? Cas wasn’t sure how the demon would respond to his other half, but he wasn’t putting up a fight. He was concentrating, and told the others that he could feel a pull, and when he pointed out the direction, Castiel could feel it as well. He pursed his lips and kept on Dean’s heels.

The rest of them held back. It was like they were seeing a _ghost_ , this wasn’t the Dean _they knew._

Or, as Gabriel had quipped when only Sam was listening, a ‘ _vengeful spirit_.’

No matter what the case, the hunt was on, and as they drew closer and closer to a river of scarlet red, Dean stopped and looked down.

“We were here yesterday, and didn’t find anything,” Balthazar muttered, gritting his teeth, “I highly doubt-”

“You asshats obviously didn’t look hard _enough_ ,” he swung his gaze over his shoulder towards Cas, “Really disappointed, babe. Couldn’t feel me down there? Thought true love conquered all, and shit.”

Everyone just stared, as the demon stripped himself of clothes completely and then looked, expectantly, towards Castiel, “Lookin’ to join me for a swim, or are you just gonna gape at my perky ass?”

“He’s- you’re _down there_?” Castiel’s jaw dropped.

This _was_ one of the places he had felt the energy, but he thought it was hell playing tricks on him. This was one of the places they had looked before Tessa and Ruby joined them, and looking back to the women, they nodded to confirm, “There’s a faint energy, and it’s not one of hell.”

The moment the words were out of their mouths, Cas was ripping off his own clothing and standing along side of Dean.

The demon chuckled and ran a hand across the angel’s shoulders, “Kinda poetic, huh? You led me to one river, and I lead you to the next. Ready to dive in, Cas?”

Before he had the chance to respond, Dean had already jumped into the blood-red water. Cas shot a helpless, but hopeful look to the others, but followed, wordlessly.

\----------

Jo was sitting on a couch, staring at an open book, but not really reading it. There was too much on her mind, and besides that, Charlie had been acting weird. Well, Charlie always acted weird, it was one of the things she loved about her girlfriend, but this was a shifty kind of nervous-weird. But she had come to know over the years, that Charlie was bound by duty, and if she was confronted, all she would get is flustered, and never spill the secret, or whatever bullshit she was keeping to herself.

Which was why Jo was sitting there, not-reading a book.

She groaned and tossed it to the ground, where it landed with a much louder thud than she had thought it would.

Bobby rounded the corner with his eyebrow raised and mumbled, “Who pissed in _your_ cheerios?”

“I _hate_ this waiting.” She grumbled.

If there was one thing that Jo and her surrogate father had in common, it was that they could be _grumpy as fuck_. And when they were pouting together, it was like a storm cloud had overtaken the entire place and no one wanted to deal with them. Strangely enough, Bobby wasn’t as grouchy as usual, _and_ he was holding an afghan for _god’s sake_.

“What’s got you playing Suzie homemaker?” She looked him up and down, because he was the only person who dared bother her when she was in one of her moods.

“Just gotta git this shithole ready for when the idjits git back,” his explanation was simple, “Now you gonna quit yer whining and help with the cleaning or pout all day? The kitchen is still a damn mess, and could use yer lovin’ touch.”

She dramatically rolled off the couch and stood up, “I guess doing _something_ is better than _nothing_. Why are you so optimistic?”

He shrugged his shoulders, “Sam’s back. Never thought I’d live to see the day. And if that doesn’t give us hope, I don’t know _what_ would.”

Jo crossed her arms and crossed the space between then, “All right. Point to you. Keep playing maid and I’ll get the kitchen in order.” She took in a deep breath, “I hope you’re right old man.”

Bobby glared, halfheartedly, and grumbled back, “Always am, respect your elders, Joanna Beth, and git your ass cleanin’.”

\------

As soon as they dove past the thick surface of the water, underneath was less murky. It was still tinged red, but Castiel could make out the sight of Dean swimming ahead of him. It gave him that push, and he picked up the speed until he was along side him instead of trailing the man. Dean gave him a cocky smirk under the water, and they swam for who knows how long. It was a miracle and a blessing demons (nor angels, for that matter) didn’t need to breathe.

It seemed like an eternity.

But _then_ they spotted it.

A faint, _barely there_ glow, like a firefly in late summer...

Cas grabbed the demon by the wrist for confirmation, he nodded and picked up the speed of their swim. As if Cas needed anymore prompting.

The closer they got, the larger the dim glow became, but it was no brighter, just _bigger_. And it soon turned into the shape of a _body_.

A very _familiar_ body.

If it were possible, it would have taken Cas’ breath away, but soon he could make out features, and he _knew_ this wasn’t a trick. There was still a tiny, minuscule bit of grace keeping the man alive, under the tides in the rivers of Hell. His _body_ at least. It looked as if he was _almost_ ready to be reborn.

The demon jerked his head, as if saying, ‘found him,’ then tread water to see what Cas would do next.

_As if there was a doubt in his mind._

Cas wrapped his arms tightly around his body, and for a split second, he thought he saw the confused green eyes scanning his face before relaxing (actually, more like passing out) into his grip. At warped speed, Cas kicked his way to the surface, he needed to get Dean out of there _right then_.

As soon as they broke the top of the water, demon Dean was already crouched, looking bored, and wearing his pants again as the other reached out to help drag the body to shore.

Sam’s eyes were wide, and without asking permission, wrapped Dean in, what Gabriel called, that _stupid tanned trench coat_ Cas had taken a liking to lately. “Dean?” He demanded, holding his brother close in his lap, “Dean, are you all right?”

While Cas was hauling himself up out of the water, Meg was running a hand over his forehead and telling the others, “He’s fine, he’s just passed out. We need to get him to Earth.”

The demon grabbed Cas’ hand to help him to solid ground as he looked between the angel and the mirror image of himself. With a crooked smile, he announced confidently, “I’m the more good looking one.”


	6. Claim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I didn’t like the way you looked at him.”_
> 
> _Castiel frowned._
> 
> _“What?”_
> 
> _“Like he was the better half. Like he was better than me,” Dean crawled until he was straddling Cas’ hips and gripped both his shoulders, “Like finding me was an accident, and you love him more. You found the wrong one first, but hey, at least I helped you find the right one.”_
> 
> _“Dean, it’s not like that,” Cas titled his head to the side, “You’re both you. There’s no difference. If I lost either of you, I’d lose everything, and wouldn’t forgive myself. Everything I did for that half, I’d do for you in a heartbeat. You’re the same person, how could you be jealous?”_
> 
> _“But we’re not the same!” The demon snarled, “I’m the one who survived! He’s the one who couldn’t do it, who gave up! I’m the one who had to fight through everything, I’m the one who never hurt you, no matter how many times in hell, they told me to! I could never do that to you, Cas, you’re the only thing I still love. Only thing I still care about. You’re mine.”_

Castiel couldn’t have been more grateful when Meg had told him she had already prepared a place on Earth for this exact situation. Dean wasn’t exactly coherent, he was in and out of consciousness, and heavily waterlogged. Gabe explained it wasn’t like the confusion of Sam, when he found him, as they tucked him into the bed the Harvelle’s had prepared, it was something totally different. Castiel had snapped.

“Of _course_ , it’s different! Dean’s been in _Hell_ , Gabriel, not some type of off-shoot of Heaven, and then a brief swim towards Purgatory when you called out to him!”

“Hey, calm down, little bro,” Gabe placed his hands on both Cas’ shoulders to try to ease the chaos he was feeling, and unafraid to lash out and show the entire room, “We got him, all right? We got _both_ of them, and as soon as human Dean wakes up, we can figure out how to put him and demon Dean back together.”

“Sounds kinky,” Dean sneered, “But it doesn’t look like I’m waking up soon. I’m a handsome devil, though, that’s for sure.  Or... human, I guess.  Now that I can get a real good look at myself, not covered in blood and hell shit.”

“I’ll start lookin’ up lore,” Bobby nodded, unable to take his eyes off demon Dean, but Tessa had explained the situation in full, running on ahead once they figured out what was going on, “Charlie, you mind helping’ out?”

“No problem, I’ll hit the books! Or, what’s left of them.”

After the new world came to be, they were able to save a decent number of reference books and whatever was missing, lesser angels had been delegated the task of piecing together their knowledge to those on earth and make ‘new books’ for the good of all. Naturally, they were all kept at the ‘new headquarters’ on Earth, and Bobby was rather protective of them. And by 'rather,' he may have well have kept them under lock and key like a troll guarding the door.

“I can help too,” Jo volunteered, “I’m sick of seeing Dean in a bed, on the brink of death. Seen it too many fuckin' times. I wanna help fix him, don’t know how much more of this I can take. I’ll hunt down Kevin too, I know he’s around here somewhere and can speed up the process.”

The three turned their backs, knowing that Ellen was more than happy to play mom, and Garth would gladly take up task of checking his vitals (although there wasn’t much of a precedence for half a person and their vitals, was there?) This was a problem they ran into frequently. Why couldn't someone have a damn cold, or a flu? Something the man could actually _help_ to cure, rather than all these freak occurrences and ailments. The room was too small for the rest of them, no matter how much they all wanted to be there. The notice was much too short, and this was the only room they could clean out and dust enough to be worthy of recovery space, with medical equipment taking up half of it, for the hope of Dean's return.

“Sam and I will go to Purgatory and see if anyone’s heard about anything like this happening before,” Gabe suggested, “Cover all our bases? Maybe call up some pagan gods? There has to be some kind of ritual, it‘s not like we can use duct tape.”

“Yes, please do. I’ll send a message to Hannah and ask around Heaven,” Cas was thoroughly exhausted, and waited in the doorway, just staring as the humans took care of the human part of Dean in front of him.

Cas felt a warm hand in his, and a tug.

“Hey, it’ll be all right. I can feel his life force, he’s just still in shock, like I was when I popped back into the world, remember?” The demon pulled Castiel into his arms, and the angel went willingly, more than agreeable to the comfort of the man's embrace. “We’ll both be able to feel when he wakes up, all right? And he _will_ wake up. It’s been a long day, let’s relax for a little bit, all right?”

His eyes were sincere, and no matter how many new quirks he had, this really _was_ half of _his_ Dean. And he was right. The demon was able to _find_ him. Cas was able to _feel_ him. They both had the connections, and could know the second something changed. They’d both know when he was awake, and until then, there wasn’t much they could do. So he allowed himself to be pulled. They glanced from room to room as they walked down the hall until they ran into Victor, who raised an eyebrow, didn’t ask questions, and pointed them in the way of a spare bedroom.

Castiel collapsed, with Dean laying on top of him and took a few deep breaths as they both sunk into the mattress. He was grateful Dean suggested it, because every sense in him was drained, and he needed this more than anything in that moment. The warmth, the silence, the perfect feel of the man he loved next to him-

“I didn’t like the way you looked at him.”

Castiel frowned.

“What?”

“Like he was the _better_ half. Like he was better than _me_ ,” he crawled until he was straddling Cas’ hips and gripped both his shoulders, “Like finding me was an accident, and you love him _more_. You found the _wrong_ one first, but hey, at least I helped you find the right one.”

“Dean, it’s not like that,” Cas titled his head to the side, “You’re both _you_. There’s no difference. If I lost either of you, I’d lose  _everything_ and wouldn’t forgive myself. Everything I did for that half, I’d do for _you_ in a heartbeat. You’re the same person, how could you be jealous?”

“But we’re _not_ the same!” The demon snarled, “ _I’m_ the one who survived! He’s the one who couldn’t do it, who _gave up_! I’m the one who had to _fight through everything_ , I’m the one who _never_ hurt you, no matter how many times in hell, they told me to! I could never do that to you, Cas, you’re the _only_ thing I still love. Only thing I still care about. You’re _mine_.”

Castiel tried a few times to find the words, but nothing came out. He hadn’t even known this Dean existed to begin with, let alone how he was supposed to treat him, and care for him. What did he want, what did he _need_? Cas couldn’t figure it out. All he could do was ask.

“Dean, what do you need of me?”

He chuckled and shook his head, and instead of words, dipped down and kissed his forehead, strangely tenderly. But then the kisses grew in intensity as they trailed down his temple, to his cheek, to the corner of his mouth and by the time they were to his lips, they were all teeth and tongue.

“Love you, Cas,” he mumbled in between kisses, “Need you, to need me too-” he began to wantonly roll his hips against the angels with _just_ enough pressure to draw out a moan.

“It’s been forever... Time in hell is...”

“I know, Dean-” he didn’t have to say it, it hurt Cas’ heart to _know_ , because he did know how long his lover was down here, if he had been down here in the time of five years on Earth, “I’ll make it up to you, Dean. I’ll make it up to you _every day_ , for the rest of forever.”

“Mm, you better,” Dean could feel Cas’ lips quirk up into a smile against his, “I’ll write up a contract, sex twice daily, bare minimum, for the rest of forever.”

“I like that plan,” Cas tugged at the button and zipper of Dean’s pants until he could slide the jeans from his body, “And I’ll _gladly_ sign on the dotted line.”

He noted the crossroad demon humor, but he still couldn’t find the malice in Dean’s soul. Yes, it was tortured, yes, he was a demon, but this demon _loved_ him and it was strangely and an unexplained kind of pure. There was no rhyme or reason for it, but Cas couldn’t keep himself away, it was still _his_ Dean through and through.

Just a little rough around the edges.

And rough with his hands too.

He had both of them naked in record time, but Castiel didn’t mind at all. He craved the skin-on-skin feel, and soon, after wresting for dominance, there was a slip and slide of sweat on their bodies . It was a more intense kind of playful, but playful none the less. Although Cas could heal himself immediately, he let himself be painted with the bite marks and hickeys Dean was leaving all over his body.

It was proof he was _there_ , and not just a dream.

Cas had his teeth latched onto Dean’s collar bone, and two fingers pumping in and out of the demon’s ass when he heard him moan, “Too good for me, angel.”

He didn’t want to hear this.

He didn’t want his Dean to feel this way, because of the things he did in hell, because Cas couldn’t save him sooner. So he quickly added another finger and aimed for that place inside Dean that would _make him_ forget.

Dean arched into the touch and moaned loudly, wrapping his legs around Cas to try to pull him deeper while he chanted, “Wanna cum on your cock, getting too close, Cas, fuck me now.”

Cas smirked, and twisted his fingers roughly before nailing his prostate again, “What is it you want? I didn’t hear you?”

“You’re evil,” he narrowed a glare, being reduced to a whimpering mess, his eyes flashing black, as if he emphasize _that_ was coming from a demon. “ _Please_ , wanna feel you. Want you to fuck me raw. Just like last time. Want it over and over again, can’t get enough of your cock.”

Cas took a deep breath in and tried to compose himself, because he knew if he drove in now, he’d be finished in two seconds. He shut his eyes, because the way Dean was flushed and spread out in front of him was just too much to take right then. He could feel Dean writhe on his fingers, trying to pull him closer, and Castiel gathered himself just enough, because _now_ he couldn’t hold back.

He manhandled one of Dean’s legs around his waist and hitched the other over his shoulder as he grabbed his hips and pulled them together, flush, with his cock buried deep inside. It was just enough to give Dean the control, and aggressive hold he wanted, but he _knew_ who was fucking who. Cas proved that, and he pulled out, nearly all the way, to slam back into him with a brutal force. He picked up the pace, as soon as Dean started chanting ‘ _yes_ ’ and using his legs to pull Cas in and meet every one of his thrusts.

The angel was getting so lost in it, in his body, in the sweet, building of his orgasm, and from the sounds Dean was making he almost didn’t feel it.

_Almost_.

His human Dan was awake.

Cas abruptly stopped, as he realized _what_ that tug of grace was, but was met with a growl from the man under him, “What the _fuck_ are you doing?”

“He's awake! _You're_  awake!” Cas announced excitedly, but then frowned, “Don’t you feel it?”

“Does it look like I give a _flying fuck_ right now?” The demon glared and before Cas knew what was happening, he was on his back with his arms pinned.

The wind was knocked out of him, the flashing of black eyes, and the feel of the body still wrapped around him caught him off guard.

“Dean!” He exclaimed, and tried to struggle against the grip, “What are you-”

“Riding you, angel. What does it look like?” His bites turned rough all over again and Cas had no idea what to do.

He needed to move, needed to be with Dean when he awoke but at the same time... _this_ Dean was making it impossible. _Fuck_.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” the demon changed the angle of his hips, and ground against Cas’ cock, taking him deeper and squeezing around him tighter than he thought possible, “Cum inside me, babe, you signed on the dotted line, remember? Sealed it with _more_ than a kiss.”

Cas moaned, unable to hold it back anymore. Dean knew his body from top to bottom, knew _exactly_ what he liked, and there was no stopping him. He didn’t even put up much of a fight when Dean quickly switched his grip on Cas’ wrists to one hand instead of two, and wrapped his hand around his own cock. Cas couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight on top of him.

The way he was sliding in and out of Dean. The way Dean was stroking himself, staring Cas right in the eyes and never looking away. When he picked up the pace again, Cas was done for. He couldn’t keep his orgasm at bay, couldn’t bring himself to get away from Dean, especially when he felt the cum paint his chest, and hot body clench around his cock. He wasn’t responsible for the noise that was choked from his throat.

But as he came down from the high, and saw the shit-eating grin over top of him, he _was_ responsible for pushing Dean off him.

“Why did you do that?!” He demanded.

Dean’s answer was to raise an eyebrow and run his hand through the mess on Cas’ chest, “Hm, from the cum dripping down between my thighs, it doesn’t seem like _you_ minded too much.” He emphasized his point by dragging his own cum all the way down to Cas’ sensitive, half-soft cock, “Don’t act so holy, angel.”

Cas didn’t have the energy to snap on clothes, merely grabbed the edge of the sheets to wipe down his chest, and pull his clothes on. Dean pulled on his pants and rolled his eyes, “You’re being dramatic. Chill out, babe.”

“I’d be exactly the same way if it were about you, why don’t you understand that?!” Cas started to walk out the door, but when he realized he wasn’t being followed, he turned back around and asked, “Are you coming?”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

\----------

Castiel ran so fast to the room, he had to grab the edge of the door to catch himself to stop the momentum. The first thing that greeted him was Dean’s smiling, but tired face, chatting with Ellen and Garth.

His eyes lit up when he saw Cas in the doorway, but then dimmed a little when he walked in, “Heya, Cas. Long time, no see. Surprised you weren’t hovering like the others.”

It was a joke, but there was truth and a little bit of hurt in the tone which Cas recognized right away. He was right, he _should have_ been there. He hurried to the side of the bed and the others let him through without hesitation, “You’re right, I should never have left your side. But I’m here now,” he took his hand, and felt the barely-there grace left in his body.

But this was it. Cas wasn’t crazy. This was what he had been feeling for the last five years. Dean really _had_ been with him, calming him down, making him take deep breaths and keeping him from falling apart. And now he was here with him. Cas’ heart was throbbing with happiness, and the small wisp of grace left in Dean glowed, and a smile lit up on his face. He could feel it too.

“Yeah, sorry about that, my bad,” the demon called from behind, strolling in, only wearing his pants and an unbuttoned shirt, “What can I say, I’m a little _distracting_.”

“Who the fuck are you!?” Dean sat up on the edge of the bed, getting into a defensive position until Cas put a hand on his shoulder, trying to tell him it was all right.

Just like dream-Dean had alluded to, now that he was in the real world, he hadn’t remember anything. Anything that he had told him when he was asleep. They had to start all over again.

“The part of you who could actually handle Hell,” his eyes flashed black for a second before walking over, taunting and teasing, and ran a hand through Cas’ already terribly messy hair, “And the part of you who can handle the angel better, _obviously_.”

“Stop taunting him,” Cas chastised, trying to calm the Dean who had just awoken.

The last thing he needed was to watch the two fight.

He had literally no idea how he would handle that.

“Sassy Dean,” Ellen nodded her head to the demon, “How about we let Cas fill him in on what’s going on, all right? I’m not even kiddin' with you right now, but I made some pie, just for your arrival.” She looked between the two of them. “...Arrivals? Hell if I know, let’s just get you some damn pie.”

Both Dean’s eyes lit up comically wide, and demon Dean stuck out his tongue before happily following Ellen out of the room. He was getting sick looking at Cas hovering over his weaker self anyway.

Besides, he already staked his claim. Cas knew who he belonged to, and _nothing_ was going to change that.

But now, there was pie.

\------

“Hello, Dean.” Cas gave him his brightest smile, now that they were alone, as he squeezed his hand and looked at him with so much adoration it would have made anyone else gag, “How are you feeling.”

But it didn’t make Dean gag at all. It made his insides warm, and he brought Castiel’s hand to his cheek and took a second to feel his warmth, “Good, now that you’re here. I remember... Bits and pieces? Like you never left me. I didn’t know if it was just in my head, I hoped, I fuckin’ _prayed_ , but it was the only thing that kept me going. I was in that river with Sammy and then it took a turn for the worst, shit... Happened and then I just sunk. You gonna explain to me now what that son of a bitch is here for?”

“Like you said,” Cas pressed kisses to each of his knuckles, “Things took a turn for the worst,” he paused, and tried to think of the best way to explain it. “Death favored you two. For putting the world back into place. He wanted you to survive, but Tessa explained he found you to be ‘abominations,’ as she called it, and you needed to be neutralized.”

“Uhh,” he raised an eyebrow, “When I think of the word ‘neutralized,’ that kinda sounds like ‘killed,’ which is what I was expecting. So wanna explain that a little better?”

“Sam went through hell on Earth,” the angel took that moment to lace their fingers together, “The demon aspect and blood in his system was to be cleansed, so he experienced heaven. But you,” he took a deep breath, “Were too _good_ , too _holy_. Even if Meg _was_ a demon, there was next to no evil in her, she had changed and was the most holy demon in existence. So, to fix you, you needed to... experience hell.”

He nodded slowly, “I think I remember some of it. But not all of it...”

“As you said, when ‘things took a turn for the worst,’ your psyche couldn’t handle it. So you created a coping mechanism for yourself. Some people compartmentalize, but Hell is something beyond what anyone is capable of handle, so you manifested another version of yourself who was capable of taking the brunt of the torture.”

“I was too weak.”

He sounded so defeated, it broke Cas’ heart.

“You weren’t weak,” the angel’s words were firm, and he stood up enough to wrap Dean in his arms, “No one could handle what you went through. _No one_. You made it through the best way you could. Dean, time passes differently in Hell,” he explained, quietly in the man’s ear as Dean’s arms held him close in the embrace. “Five years have passed here, on Earth. You were there for what amounted to thousands.”

“Fuck.”

“You understand now?” He pulled away just enough to press their foreheads together, and took in a deep breath, “And it will be difficult, but we need to put the two of you back together. You’re good, and he may be you, but he has the darkness. That’s when you’ll truly be completed and able to exist as you were meant to again.”

“He’s a fucking dick.”

Dean could feel the rumble of Cas’ chest as he chuckled, “Yes, he is. But he’s still you. Just the... ‘dick’ version. There’s still you at the core, and even though you will experience some of the things he went though, he will be cleansed, and remember what makes you, you once you’re returned together.”

“And when will that be?” Dean pulled away, his eyes imploring, “I’m scared, Cas. I can feel that I’m not right. I can feel that void, and I don’t know what’s gonna happen if it doesn’t happen soon.”

“It will.” There was no question in his mind, “Although this maybe unprecedented, every single one of us is doing our best to figure it out. We have two reapers on our side, who, if our hand is forced, could communicate with Death. Our chances couldn’t be better. Everyone is alive, Dean. Everyone is back.”

Dean opened his mouth to speak, but then stopped, as a thought popped into his mind.

“Wait... two reapers?”

“Ruby,” Castiel smirked, “She always had a love of death. I believe it’s fitting. She’s actually quite good at her job. Even though I believe Tessa’s nerves have been worn thin with her on more than one occasion.”

“Will ya look at that,” Dean laughed, _really_ laughed, “Well, at least she’s doing something productive. Instead of being a thorn in everyone’s side.”

“This is true.”

“Heh,” he smiled, “Well, if we saved the fuckin’ world, this is small fry business, putting some random dude back together, right?”

“You’re not a random dude,” Castiel kissed him, and kissed him hard, “You’re the person I’d go to the ends of the earth for, and the only thing that matters to me.”

“Aww, there’s my sappy angel,” Dean mumbled between kisses, “Fuck, I missed you so much.”

\-------

The pie was good, sure. But was the hours passed, and Dean still wasn’t allowed back in the room, his anger was growing by the second. It didn’t matter that others tried to see him, he snapped at them, because the only one he wanted to see right now was Cas.

Besides, they all didn’t know that he’d ripped the skin from their bodies and carved into their bones thousands of times in Hell.

It was hard to look at them, knowing that.

“So, it’s obvious you’re not very happy here, with the way Clarence is doting on frail little Deanie while trying so desperately to put the two of you back together,” Meg leaned in the doorway from where the demon was seething quietly, eyes black as night and fists clenched, “Jealousy isn’t a good look on you. Why not have something to distract you while you wait?”

It took Dean a while to snap out of it, and let Meg’s words sink in, but then he looked at the mischievous expression she wore that he wished was on _his_ face right now, rather than the damn moping he’d been doing lately. He was going stir crazy, and even though he knew that other Dean was him, he couldn’t even watch Castiel _touch_ anyone who wasn’t him him.

“All right, I’ll bite. What’s the distraction?” Dean asked seriously.

“Good, we’ll need your fangs,” her mischievous look turned down right sinister. “Anna and I are taking over hell.”

Dean’s eyes widened and then lit up with excitement, “Oh yeah?”

“Yes. I feel Crowley is doing a poor job. He is weak, and easily distracted. Not to mention full of himself and ignorant to half the things that happen down there. I didn’t even realize it until we were looking for your dumb ass, but it was disgusting. My girlfriend and I could do better.” Meg flipped her hair over her shoulder and nodded, “Care to join? I saw the way you were playing with those random souls in the pit when Clarence wasn’t looking. You’ve got it in you. Especially if we can snatch you up the First Blade again.”

“When do we leave?!”


	7. Duality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I think we should just have them run at each other full speed and see what happens from there,” Gabriel said with a smirk, “Seems to work well in the movies.”_
> 
> _“I do not wish to hurt Dean,” the other angel admonished, “We’ll find something. We’ve only just started. With all of us working together on this, I feel like it won’t take any time at all. We can put them back together.”_
> 
> _Sam nodded and smiled, grateful for the optimism, “I think so too, Cas. Do you wanna bring Dean anything to eat? I bet he’d be pretty damn happy about some of the pie-”_
> 
> _“Damn demon fool ate it all,” Bobby grumbled, “I’m sure as hell ready to git rid of ‘im.”_
> 
> _“I’m makin’ another one,” Ellen called from the kitchen. “And adding a whole lotta salt into it. Demon can’t touch this shit this time.”_

There wasn’t any hesitation in Dean's steps as he followed behind Meg and Anna until they were well out of sight from the little house the old crew had set up for poor ‘Other Dean’s’ recovery. He walked sped his pace, until he was along side the women. With his hands in his pockets, they trekked through a forest and Dean casually commented, “Looks like Earth's got her groove back.”

“All thanks to your hippie friends, and the angels Clarence sent down to start the recovery,” Meg's hand brushed along low-handing oak leaf as they walked, “Gotta say, they did a damn good job. I’ve been around a long time and they’ve got her back on her feet faster than I thought possible.”

After a little under an hour, Dean was starting to get restless.

“Uh... Last time I checked the way to hell wasn’t on a nature hike. Mind telling me where exactly we’re going?” He was grouchy. He had been promised a way to get the stress out of his bones, and this wildlife thing wasn’t exactly doing it.

As they came to a clearing, he had his answer, in the form of Ruby, standing tall and proud with her arms crossed and a smile on her face, “Wondering when you lovely ladies were gonna get here. Glad the newborn decided to join us.”

“You’re coming too?” He raised an eyebrow, “I thought you were in the reaping business these days.”

“Doesn’t mean Hell couldn’t use a makeover. And don’t give me that shitty attitude, I brought you a present, asshole,” she reached out her palm and manifested something that made Dean's breath catch in his throat. “Unless you _didn’t_ want a reunion with your baby, or anything.”

Dean rushed forward to get his hands on the First Blade, “Where did you get this?!”

“Dude,” she rolled her eyes, but let it be taken away from her, “Reapers can pretty much do _anything_ , I didn’t know if you were aware of this, or anything.”

“She’s very resourceful,” Anna informed Dean with a smile, “Even though it was after she had died, she fished for information from Tessa, to see what became of it.”

“Waited for the right time, and then snatched it up when everyone else had forgotten about it,” there was a shit-eating grin on her face as she also manifested a scythe, “So. Reaper weapon, First Blade, and two Angel Blades that can take down any creature in existence? I’d say we’ve got this covered.”

Dean’s smile spread as he looked between the women and the felt the familiar weight of the object in his hands, “Hell won’t know what hit it.”

“That’s the idea.” Meg smirked, “Now that we’re all together, let’s discuss the plan, shall we?”

\------------

Dean was falling in and out of sleep, his body weak, as Castiel finally made his way to the common room to speak with the others during one such nap. He hadn’t left his side, and as much as he knew it may have upset the demon, the Dean currently sleeping in the bed needed him much more than the man who was probably eating six of Ellen’s pies, and harassing her for more.

Castiel smiled at the thought.

As he rounded the corner, he saw a few eating, a few looking over books, but no Dean.

“Heya, bro,” Gabriel commented from where he was kicked back in a chair with his legs on Sam’s lap, “How the little mermaid doing?”

“Recovering, I think.” He frowned. “My grace won’t help him though, I cannot seem to heal or make him feel any better. He doesn’t remember anything, and I don’t think he’s going to be fully well until he’s reunited with his other half,” he looked around the room. “Speaking of... Where is Dean?”

“That dick?” Jo scoffed, looking up from her book, “Beats the fuck out of me. I saw him leave with Anna and Meg not too long ago, maybe they’re helping him try to control his asshole urges.”

“Or perhaps work out some stress,” Castiel pulled up a seat at the table, “I think that would be for the best. He’s very... Difficult to handle. I feel maybe they would be a good influence on him and help him deal with the darkness he’s experiencing. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for him.”

“I hope,” Sam sighed and leaned his head back, “We keep trying to figure out a way to get them back together, but it might be one of the pieces of lore we lost. It's not looking good right now, but we'll keep plugging away.”

“I think we should just have them run at each other full speed and see what happens from there,” Gabriel said with a smirk, “Seems to work well in the movies.”

“I do not wish to hurt Dean,” the other angel admonished, “We’ll find something. We’ve only just started. With all of us working together on this, I feel like it won’t take any time at all. Even if it's a _rough_ start.”

Sam nodded and smiled, grateful for the optimism, “I think so too, Cas. Do you wanna bring Dean anything to eat? I bet he’d be pretty damn happy about some of the pie-”

“Damn demon fool ate it all,” Bobby grumbled, “I’m sure as hell ready to git rid of ‘em.”

“I’m makin’ another one,” Ellen called from the kitchen. “And adding a _whole lotta_ salt into it. Demon can’t touch this shit this time.”  
  
"That there's a smart woman!" Bobby said with a smile, "Knew there was a reason I kept you around."  
  
"Hush yer face, Singer!"

\--------

The best part of all of it, was Crowley didn’t see it coming as Meg and Anna strolled into his office again, like it was any other afternoon. He was going through a list of contracts, crossing his t’s and dotting his i's when he asked, annoyed, “Well, if it isn’t Thelma and Louise. To what do I owe the pleasure.”

Meg crossed over to the desk, shoved off all the contents to the floor before sitting down and leaning into his space, “So, remember that deal we made a hot second ago?”

He looked disgusted, “Are you a _barbarian_? You better not have broken anything!”

Anna laughed from across the room, “I believe she asked you a question, _your highness_.”

“Clearly.” His voice was dry, as he quoted, “ _You relinquish control of our demon sides, we won’t slit your throats.'_ Did I get it right, ladies?”

“Of course,” Meg purred. “And _that_ deal still stands. But with _one_ more stipulation.”

The redhead crossed and slowly pulled out her angel blade from where it was hidden in the back pocket of her pants, “ _We_ want control of hell.”

“You bitches,” Crowley caught two flashes of silver, but they _did_ have a deal, they couldn’t kill him. Yet. “Doesn’t quite work like that, in case you weren’t sure. You signed, you know the rules.”

“Oh, but you didn’t make a deal with _us_ ,” Ruby and Dean walked through the door, with their weapons drawn, “You wanna play businessman, or play massacre?”

The King’s eyes were wide as he looked between the four, as well as the blade and scythe in the newcomer’s hands. He _knew those_  would be able to kill him. “Bloody cunts,” his eyes were narrowed, but there was a very real kind of fear in his voice, as the flash of red blinded them, and he was gone.

Dean cursed, “Fuckin’ coward.”

However, Ruby just smiled, “I know where he is.”

“Let’s go!”

\------------

As soon as the pie was done, Cas balanced a hot slice, along with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and glass of milk on the way back to Dean’s room. When he opened the door, he saw the man already sitting up, and his eyes were wide with excitement, “That Ellen’s?!”

“Yes...” Cas hesitantly set it down, “How long have you been awake? I thought I’d be able to feel you-”

“Grace’s leaving me,” Dean picked up the fork, “I can feel it.” He crammed a piece into his mouth and moaned around it, “I can’t feel you as much as I used to either. Sucks.”

As Dean continued to stuff his face, Castiel placed a hand on Dean’s back towards his heart, not wanted to interrupt the pure joy the dessert was causing Dean. But the man was right. There was barely any grace left at all.

“Is that why you’ve been fatigued?” Cas asked simply, “From the grace, or just the journey?”

Dean shrugged, and actually placed his fork down for a second, “I don’t know, man. I feel _a lot_ of things. I know a lot of things aren’t _right_ and I don’t even know where to begin the list. I don’t wanna worry you, but they’re not things that can be fixed or anything ‘til we... You know.”

He picked the fork back up and went back to eating.

“You didn’t mention it because you didn’t want me to worry?” Cas’ brows knitted together, “You’re all I care about, _of course_ I’m going to worry. You _need_ to tell me these things, we need to know how urgent this is, how-”

“It doesn’t matter, Cas!” Dean snapped as he reached for the glass of milk and chugged it. He slammed it back on the table, “I’m fucked up. There are _two of me_ and that _alone_ is fucked up! It doesn’t matter how urgent it is, because I know you guys. You’re probably pouring over this shit night and day, so if you’re not fast enough, there’s nothing you can do, all right? So don’t get down on yourself. I just didn’t want you to worry. There's no fuckin' point.”

The man shrugged and set the plate down on the side table.

“Ok. Now you’re giving me the silent treatment, or something?”

Castiel shook his head, “I just wish there was something I could do.”

“Then c’mere,” Dean grinned, and pulled the angel into the bed with him.

This, was something Cas wasn’t opposed to at all. However, now he was confused, and at odds with himself. As he laid on his side, and Dean kissed him tenderly, letting his fingertips drift up and down his arm, had he done something wrong? There were two Dean’s. Did _they_ understand? His brain was confused, but kissing _both_ of them felt so _right_. The adoring way Dean sucked at Cas’ bottom lip, as he slowly unbuttoned the shirt he was wearing. The casual way their legs tangled together. The sassy way Dean ordered:

“You’re thinking too much. Don’t ruin the mood.”

Castiel chuckled, as soon as Dean had finished working the buttons, and pulled the shirt from his shoulders. He grabbed the too-big shirt Dean had borrowed from Sam upon arrival, and tugged it over his head.

Laying side by side, just making out was more than Castiel could ask for. Everything was so _tender_. The warmth of their chests pressed flush, and the lazy kisses. Dean hiked one of his legs around Cas’ thigh and mumbled into his ear, “C’mon, Cas, I’m not gonna break. Not that I’m not loving this or anything.”

The angel chuckled, “If there’s one thing I’m never _truly_ worried about, it’s you breaking, Dean Winchester.”

Dean hummed as Cas teased with feather-light touches down his abdomen, their lips never leaving each other. He arched into the touch as his manhood was cupped gently in Cas’ palm and teased, there was nothing urgent or rough about it. All the times they had been together before, they had the end of the world looming over their heads. Now there was peace, now they could really take their time. Cas hated that he had to leave Dean’s mouth, but other parts of his body deserved attention.

Deserved to be worshiped.

He laved along his earlobe, kissing down his neck and gently nipped his collarbone. The kisses were so full of love; he knew if the roles had been changed, it would make the demon part of Dean sick. He was enthralled he could spread and show this love to the Dean in front of him. He sucked lightly at his nipples, which earned a loud moan and another bucking of his hips.

He whined out the angels name, so Cas decided to cut him a break and continue this descent. Cas hooked his thumbs around the sweatpants riding low on his lovers hips, and without any preamble pulled them down to his thighs, along with the boxers. Dean’s cock was already dripping, and the sight was breathtaking. The cool air earned a hiss from the human, and another, more intense moan, as Cas spread the precum at the tip all along the head of his cock.

Cas used a firmer grip as he massaged from tip to base, only flicking his tongue along the slit. He could see Dean start to unravel, and if he thought Dean was breathtaking before, _this_ was truly beautiful. He wasn’t teasing, _per say_ , he just wanted to make him feel good. Wanted him to get every second of pleasure he deserved, wanted to pour every _ounce_ of love he could show him though his touch.

Dean didn’t seem to mind at all.

Especially when he finally took the tip of his cock and started to suck. Dean moaned loudly, and with every bob of Cas’ head, he took a little more, bit by bit, until he had all of Dean’s cock down his throat. He pulled off him, all the way, just to sink back down and take him all the way, over and over again. Cas cupped his balls, and rolled them gently around in his palm while his other hand wandered lower to tease underneath.

But that’s when he started to think, even though Dean was writhing and begging for it, how much _could_ they _really_ do? As much as Dean wasn’t about to admit it, and Cas had said the same thing out loud, he wasn’t well, he’d been floating _in between_ for five years. They’d never had to worry about it before, because Dean was in full health, or pumped full of angel and demon blood, but the _last_ thing he wanted to do was hurt him. It bothered him that he hadn’t given it a second thought with the demon, who was begging for it, but that was distracting in and of itself.

So he wouldn’t move any faster than what Dean was comfortable with. He knew his body better than anyone, and Cas would be more than happy sucking him off, and teasing at his perineum as long as Dean wanted. Since the human’d already been reduced to a whimpering mess, who knows if he’d even last long enough to ask for it.

But of course, Dean _always_ exceeded his expectations.

Cas’ face was cupped and pulled off Dean’s dick to look up at lust blown eyes and kiss-swollen lips as he whispered, “Need to feel you inside me, baby.”

Cas didn’t look away but flicked his tongue across the head of Dean’s cock again and continued massaging his balls, “Are you sure?”

“What kinda question is that?” Dean smirked, “You think, after all this time, the first chance I get I’m not gonna beg to cum on your cock?”

The angel chuckled, “Well, when you put it like that,” and traced his thumb over the pucker of Dean’s opening, “Tell me how you want it?”

“Don’t care, Cas,” his words were breathless, “Just want _you_.”

Cas nodded his understanding and kissed him as he pulled his pants and boxers the rest of the way off, and had a certain smile on his face, “For the last five years you’ve been gone, the world has come leaps and bounds,” he knelt and reached over Dean, to the nightstand, already having been teased about _‘something special’_ being in there as a gift from Charlie. "Pun, possibly intended."

“Shut the fuck up,” Dean’s eyes widened, “After we saved the world, you fuckers got to work _making lube_?!”

“It’s not manufactured in bulk, or anything, just a side project Charlie had undertaken, as well as more... ‘gay friendly’ supplies.” Cas laughed, “She wants the new world to be an open-minded world, as she puts it.”

“Hey, more power to her, I’m in!” He couldn’t keep himself from laughing, imagining one of his best friends taking a specific interest and grabbing the reigns of sexual tolerance and starting a movement. He wiggled his eyebrows, “Especially if we reap the benefits.”

“Mmhm,” Cas moaned into his neck and opened their present to spill across his fingers.

He wanted to be tender, wanted to kiss him as he opened him up and stretched him. Cas wanted to hear each and every stolen breath, know if he’d gone too far or if something hurt. All he wanted was to make Dean feel good. As much as he wanted his tongue between the other man’s legs, and work him open that way, kissing him right now was something he’d rather _die_ than give up. Which was why, once he was a knuckle deep, with a single finger, and he could hear Dean whisper into his ear, “ _more, Cas,_ ” he stood by his decisions.

Dean must have been able to read his mind, because he didn’t egg him on, just got lost in the feeling of Cas’ lips and the gentle caress of the fingers inside him. The way the angel held him and washed him in his affection was so distracting and painfulness, he didn’t even know there were four fingers inside him until his deep voice asked against the shell of Dean’s ear, “Ready?”

He couldn’t form words, just nodded as Cas used more of the lube to coat his dick before asking, one more time, settled between his legs, “If anything hurts, tell me right away.”

“Yes, Cas, come on, I need you-” Dean growled, because he could feel the slick head brushing his opening, and couldn’t wait any longer.

Cas pressed their lips together so damn tenderly as he slid in. Dean had to catch his breath, because even though it didn’t _hurt_ , and he it wasn't like he hadn't been used to it, he had completely forgotten how _damn big_ Cas was. The angel looked worried, but Dean shuttered out a breath, and smiled at him, telling him without words that _it was fine_.

They tested the waters, Cas just barely pulling out, and then sliding back in, reveling in the friction more than anything more. Dean leaned back, and pitched his hips forward, giving him the go-ahead he was ready for more. Cas sucked small marks into his neck as he pulled nearly all the way out, before sliding back in, over and over, until he heard Dean moan loudly and desperately pull their hips together further.

Cas smiled to himself, _there it was._

He repeated that angle, and grabbed Dean’s hips to get a better grip, so he could nail it over and over again. The man was a whimpering mess as Cas’ pace started to intensify and he wanted, no, _needed_ to give Dean just what he deserved. There was still that _small amount of grace_ , the wisps that mingled and linked between the two, especially as they were joined like this, and it took it to an entirely different level.  It was nothing like it used it be, but it was enough to wrong around them and make the sparks burn them both up-

“ _Cas_ , gonna-” he whined, “fuck, _love you_ \--”

The angel didn’t have to respond with words, just kept up his pace, as he felt Dean clench around him. He brought their mouth’s together in an intense, soul-deep kiss and continued thrusting in. He couldn’t stop kissing him, no matter how out of breath Dean was. This was the man he _wanted_ , he _loved_ , who he needed to _put back together_. He moaned into Dean’s mouth, as he felt himself pour into his body, and slowed down his thrusts.

But, he didn’t want to pull out yet.

He wanted to stay like this forever, as they were both coming down from their orgasms, wrapped in each other’s arms.

He could have lingered longer, before a full-bodied shake raked through Dean’s body, and he stared at him with wide eyes.

“C-Cas?”

“Dean, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t-” his face paled, “I _don’t_ feel good. That missing part... It’s _pulling_ \-- Cas, I-I need it. I don’t know if I can _survive_ without--” he started shaking, and before Castiel could do anything to help him, he began seizing.

“Dean? Dean!” He laid him on his back, and took a deep breath, he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know how to handle this, his angel powers couldn’t help, maybe they had found something in a book?  For the first time, he felt completely powerless, and it cut him deep.  He quickly wrapped the blanket around Dean's waist as well as he could and shouted out:

“Gabriel! Garth! Someone, Dean needs help!”

\---------------

  
As they ran through the building, Meg and Anna laughed at how predictable Crowley was. Even though Ruby could pinpoint his energy better than any of them, this was _exactly_ where she would have guessed he’d have immediately fled two. The sprint lead them through half of hell, and it was Dean who finally called out, “Where the fuck did he go?”

“To amass his armies,” Anna sounded positively _gleeful_.

And Dean felt it.

He felt the blade pulsing, he felt the need for _blood_ , the need for _battle_ , and the thought of getting to cut down as many bodies as he could? That got his blood pumping and his heart racing. He gripped the handle tighter, and as he looked at his comrades, he could see their excitement too. The natural demon blood-lust, the kill-or-be-killed thrill. _This_ was heaven for Ruby was well, no reaping duties could fulfill her the way this could... And when you killed demons, you didn't have to reap them anyway. There were no souls to usher, when a demon was cut down, it disappeared, because this _was_ it’s afterlife. It was her malice idea of a play day, away from work.

No wonder she wanted to join.

She lead them to a court yard, and if Dean had been human, his blood would have frozen in his veins.

_Now, it exploded in excitement._

Hundreds, maybe thousands of lost souls, demons in the making, and fully charged demons stood in front of them, as Crowley stood on a raised platform at the back of the army.

His voice boomed over the growling and snapping evil, “Have at it, loves! I‘ve been in need of some good entertainment.”

Meg snickered, “He’s terrified,” she commented casually to her companions before the demons started rushing.

“What? Looks pretty confident to me,” Dean fell into a defense stance.

“No way, all bravado,” Ruby flicked his shoulder, “Now that you’re full demon, with the First Blade, you’re a Knight of Hell. Stronger than a single one of these fuckers out there. He has no control over Meg and Anna, and they’re part angel, and me?” Her smile spread wider, “Only thing that can kill a reaper, is a scythe.”

“Hah!” Dean cackled, now understanding that, yes, they were invincible to this ragtag army Crowley had thrown as fodder in front of them, “He’s totally fucked.”

That’s when he did, indeed, see the fear in Crowley’s eyes. But not in the demon’s. Because not a single one of them knew they were being sent to their death’s. As Dean sliced down the first five that tried to circle and ambush him, he actually felt bad for the fuckers. If this was what the King of Hell was going to do to his ‘subjects’ no matter how evil, a coward like that _deserved_ to be dethroned.

It was time for Anna and Meg to take over.


	8. Deterioration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“But seeing Dean like that,” Sam groaned, and tried to pull Gabriel away, “As a demon? What if he stays like that? What if he decides he likes that better, what if he becomes obsessed with the power, with the lack of conscience, with the removal from humanity-”_
> 
> _Before he could blink, Gabriel was eye to eye with him, pinning him down by the shoulders, “We talkin’ about your brother, or about how you were, kiddo?”_
> 
> _A moment of silence passed, and neither moved._
> 
> _Until Sam broke his gaze away with a deep breath._
> 
> _“Gabe, I’m scared. I had my humanity with the darkness. And I had you. He’s just darkness, and Cas is with what's left of his humanity and -”_
> 
> _“Babe, you’re totally killing the mood.”_

They were all at a loss as Dean laid, shaking and cold on the bed with his friends hovering around him. Castiel had wrapped him in blankets, and although the episode had passed, he was breathing heavily and trying to smile at the others, “Sorry, guys, can’t bring a guy back from Hell and not expect him to get a little woozy.”

“Dean-” Cas chastised, “That was more than a _little_ woozy.”

“Well, if you knew what you did to me, Cas--”

“TMI!” Jo groaned, “Don’t wanna hear about your sex life anymore. And don't even try to deny it, because I'd know your 'just fucked' look anywhere, assholes.”

“Point is!” Garth interrupted, “This isn’t physiological. This all has to do with the split, so we need to hit the books, and hard.” He looked around to the others, “I suck at this, guys, I know. I couldn’t help Underground with Dean’s sickness, and I can’t help now- Ow!”

Ellen smacked him in the arm. _Hard_.

“Shut your fool mouth, boy!” She rubbed her temples, “The messes we get ourselves into have nothing to do with yer inability to do anything. This can’t be fixed with a Band-Aid, this is the shit that requires, rituals, magic, all that nonsense you ain’t got a lick of control over, you got that? Don't beat yerself up over it.”

He nodded, at their mother figure and stood up, “Let’s get crackin’ at it, then. You gonna be all right, Dean?”

He flashed a cocky smile, and a thumbs up, “Right as rain.”

“And I’m sure Cas will ‘watch over you,” Sam teased, “I’ll hit the books. I’ll come check in on you later, all right?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Gabriel?” Castiel looked up at his brother, “Could you summon some of my old garrison to look into this too? The more hands on deck we have, the better.”

“You got it, kid,” Gabriel smiled, but it was forced, “Don’t fuck the kid too hard, he needs his rest. I understand the need, but keep it in your pants for a bit, yeah?”

Both men blushed, as Castiel mumbled, “Must you be so crass,” and the others exited without another word.

\-----------

It was a manic blood bath as the crimson rain washed over them and you could hear thud after thud of crashes to the floor. Some were louder - some were bodies, and a breath later, a soft bump - the sound of a decapitated head. The carnage was gruesome, but the light show was spectacular as Meg and Anna sunk their angel blades into demon after demon, burning the tainted souls from their very bodies. Dean liked to switch it up.

He didn’t know what to do with this darkness, so he gave into it, cutting off arms, and cruelly letting some bleed out on the floor. Others, he ended quickly with a slit throat, or a stab, and _twist,_ to the heart. If one got the jump on him, his closest comrade would gladly take the kill for themselves, and Dean would strike low, cutting clean though ankles and knee caps.

The screams were _divine_ , and the closer, and closer they got - the less and less bodies still standing, the whiter Crowley's face became.

And that’s when Meg shouted out, “If you wish to live, bow down, or face death!”

More than half were already slaughtered, enough to make a _point_ , but her and Anna would need an army of their _own_. Although there were still many souls in hell, they weren’t fighters, and _that’s_ what needed to create order and a true kingdom. They didn't need to slaughter  _all_ of them, because demons were cowards, and would bend to the will of the strongest in the fight for survival. Clearly, this new threat was stronger than their current King of Hell.

The moment the words left her mouth, more than half of them dropped to their knees, but there were still fighters. Afraid of distractions and obstacles, Anna amended, “Flee if you‘re pledging your loyalty, burn the King’s castle and prepare for your new Queens!”

Those who bowed, quickly stood, and scurried away from the scene, stumbling over dead bodies on their way out. Their fleeing was desperate, but a welcome relief as the number dwindled and the end was now in sight.

Meg winked over her shoulder, “Good work, babe.”

The scarcity of the remaining demons was now a joke, and as Ruby swirled in a circle, decapitating a dozen in a row, she asked, “You guys good? I’m being summoned.”

Looking at the remained, had Dean laughing, “Really, Rubes? Go reap. We’ve destroyed these idiots, it’s Crowley’s _head_ next.”

“Mm, be sure to bring it to me, as a trophy,” she winked, and stared down at her clothes, “ _Yeah_ , need a shower before this house call.”

“Thank you, Ruby,” Anna called, as she pulled her blade out of a particularly burly demon, “We’ll touch base very soon.”

“Long live the Queens,” she blew a kiss, and then was gone in a flash of light.

Their armies were falling by the second, and after hearing a hissed, “ _bullocks_ ,” Dean looked up and shouted, “Crowley’s gone!”

Anna shoved Dean away from a demon who was two seconds away from stabbing him in the back, “ _Idiot_ , that doesn’t mean you can just stop fighting right now!” Dean’s heart skipped a beat, but she was right. _These were loyalists_. They weren’t done, and couldn’t find Crowley until they had killed each and every single one of them. After that, it would be a piece of cake. And the women would have their army, and their domain.

\-----------

“You’re thinking too much,” Gabriel insisted as he pressed kisses down Sam’s toned abdomen and looked back up at him with mischievous eyes as his mouth moved over to his hipbone, “Everything is going to be fuckin’ easy-peasy soon, and you know it.”

“But seeing Dean like that,” Sam groaned, and tried to pull Gabriel away, “As a _demon_? What if he stays like that? What if he decides he likes _that_ better, what if he becomes obsessed with the power, with the lack of conscience, with the removal from humanity-”

Before he could blink, Gabriel was eye to eye with him, pinning him down by the shoulders, “We talkin’ about your brother, or about how _you_ were, kiddo?”

A moment of silence passed, and neither moved.

Until Sam broke his gaze away with a deep breath.

“Gabe, I’m scared. I had my humanity _with_ the darkness. And I had _you_. There's friggen two of him. The demon's just _darkness_ , and Cas _is with his_ humanity and --”

“Babe, you’re _totally_ killing the mood,” Gabriel rolled over on the bed next to him but nodded, “I get what you’re saying. Different sides of the coin, and all. And I know that you’re worried about him, but for tonight, could you just be here with me? Shit’s been chaos, but can’t I be a little selfish and spoil myself by spoiling you? Just for tonight?”

“It’s not like I don’t want that,” Sam insisted, “It’s just that I _can’t_ , I don’t know how to explain it, I can’t turn it off, I can’t-”

“Can’t put me, before your brother, even for a second,” Gabriel stated flippantly, “Even though we’re going to handle it, even though you’re supposed to trust me, even though I told you over, and over again that we’d cover it, you _still_ don’t trust me.”

“Gabe it’s-!”

“Nah, I get it.” He shrugged and relaxed with his hands behind his head, trying to play for cool indifference, even though it stung.

_It stung a whole hell of a lot_.

He’d do anything for that kid. In all his existence, Gabriel had never felt this way about anyone before, and he had been scouring the globe _every_ day, _heartbroken_ for five years, and now Sam’s mind was else where. He _still_ wasn’t with him. Not mentally, anyways. So, yeah, it stung. So he handled it like he usually handled things like this.

Sarcasm.

“Gabe, it’s not like that,” Sam reached over for his shoulder, but the angel shoo’d him away.

“It’s all good, when I think about my brother, I can’t get it up either. We’ll getcha some Viagra tomorrow. Once we fix him. Because, even though you have zero faith in me, he _will_ be fixed, so until then no sex ‘til marriage, my virginal maiden.”

“What the fuck, Gabe! Can you take this seriously for like, two seconds?” Sam was getting heated, but his voice was desperate.

“I _am_ taking this seriously.” His voice dropped to a darker tone. “And if _you_ wanna place bets on who’s had it rougher between your little two hour swim in _heaven_ , and my five years of metaphorical _hell_ , I don’t think a little one-on-one time and faith in the idiot who _loves you_ is too much to ask for. But, I guess I could be wrong. Never did understand human logic too much.”

Sam just stared, with an open mouth, truly speechless.

He had only witnessed Gabriel get heated a handful of times, and heard him use the ‘l’ word even less. How was he even supposed to respond to that? Gabe was right. There wasn’t much they could do right now, and Sam needed rest. Gabriel was there to be with him, because he _needed_ to be. Because he _did_ love him. He kept forgetting the archangel never gave up hope he was alive for those five years, even though, as much as they ‘searched’ everyone assumed him dead.

Gabriel _never_ had.

_Fuck_ , Sam thought, _I really am an asshole_.

“Gabe, I-”

“Save it. Just sleep. You need it, for all the saving we’ll do of your brother tomorrow.”

“C’mon, stop, Gabe-”

“Night, Sammy.”

\--------------

With a gasp and a harsh pain starting in his chest, and slowly pulsing through his body, Dean jerked awake until he was sitting up and fisting the covers. It felt like he was having a heart attack, covered in sweat, his veins on fire threatening to explode through his skin, and that empty void expanding by the second. It hurt, _fuck_ , it hurt.

Cas was awake, and next to him in a flash, his arms wrapped around his shoulders, attempting to ground him, as he calmly asked, “Dean, what’s wrong.”

“It’s getting worse, _shit_ , Cas, it’s getting worse, it _hurts_ so bad it-” he was pulling at his hair now, scratching at his neck, trying to focus and distract himself from _anything_ other than what was going on inside him. “We need to fix this- this _needs_ -this needs, _oh god_ ,” he collapsed back down to his side and writhed as his blood literally felt like it had changed directions and was trying to fill that void inside him. Like his body was trying to reset itself and failing miserably.

The angel tried to rub his back, to soothe him, to send any kind of healing energy into his lover, but _nothing_ was working. Dean cried out in pain and curled into a ball while rocking back and forth, tears springing forth from his eyes. He’d never felt anything like this. How could his demon counterpart be walking around, _dealing_ with _this_? Why had he left, why couldn’t they find him? They were so close to cracking they spell, why wasn’t he here to fix everything the second they were ready?

“Cas, Cas-” he chanted over and over again, “It _hurts_ -”

“Let me help you sleep, at least? I can’t help with the pain, but maybe-”

“Anything!” Dean yelped, as he flipped over and wrapped his entire body around the man, “I can’t take it, please, _please_.”

Cas returned the embrace, he hated the helplessness in his gut as he held Dean close and let his energy flow into him. But it took _so_ much, by the time he had stopped the tremors, and the shaking, he was drained. He had never felt an exhaustion like that before from using his powers. He squeezed Dean close one more time, before he too, passed out completely.

\---------

Charlie and Jo had heard the commotion (having set up their own room two door down in the case of an emergency) and ran to the room to see what was happening. They only caught the tail end of it, it happened so _fast_ , but it left both of them sick to their stomachs. Charlie grabbed Jo’s hand as Dean screamed, held in Castiel’s embrace as a red light glowed from around him and the angel spoke in a soft voice, saying something neither of them could make out.

Soon, the pale blue of Castiel’s grace fought against the crimson, in an attempt to take over, but it _wasn’t_ working. It was a battle that left the aura a sickening shade of deep amethyst until there was a _crackle_ and the white light cracked against the red, and made it fizzle out. Castiel was out of breath, as he squeezed Dean into a hug, fully exhausted, and collapsed against the man.

_Collapsed_.

He didn’t watch over him, make sure he was all right, it was a _very real_ black out, and boneless _fall_.

Charlie gulped, and stared with wide eyes, before Jo tugged her back into the hall.

Once the women were far enough away, they made eye contact and Jo was the first to speak, “This is getting worse.”

“You think?” Charlie couldn’t keep her sarcasm to herself, “We’re _so_ close. So close to merging them. Yet, no one knows where the fuck the demon is.”

“We have to find him. _Now_.”

“Since all of our demon friends have been MIA, probably having an evil party, I guess that leaves us with one option?” Charlie laughed nervously, “If we can tear him away from his lover boy for two seconds.”

“Yeah,” Jo scoffed, “That’s gonna be the hard part.”

“Tempt him with candy in the morning?”

Jo pulled the redhead close and kissed her on the forehead, “I don’t know if it _can_ wait until the morning. You saw how bad it was. _Shit_ , Char, I’m scared.”

“You and me both.”

\--------------

There was a knock at the door, as Sam was staring at the ceiling, and Gabriel was debating whether or not to leave _completely_.

Gabriel groaned and rolled over to the sound, “Yeah, yeah, come in. Sammy‘s not interested in fuckin‘ tonight, so what‘s the crisis now?”

The look that Sam shot him was more of a kicked puppy, than a glare, but Gabe didn’t feel that bad about it. _At all_ , actually. His millennium worth of memories of scorned lovers had kicked in, and as much as he was head over heels for the man next to him, he was immune to it. He had decided his best approach was to play indifference. He was compartmentalizing, and if who ever on the other side of the door could distract him from the rejection he was already feeling, so be it. He’d ‘console’ Sam later.

He knew he would, but wasn’t a fucking saint, and could pout now.

Two girls were timid to walk in, but when they saw the two, looking different shades of fussy, they realized it wasn’t the worst time to bother them.

Jo cleared her throat and started with, “Sorry, but this can’t really wait, guys. It’s Dean he’s-” there were tears in her eyes, and that’s when Charlie decided it was her time to take over.

“He’s falling apart. He needs to be, uh, ‘reunited’ with his other half. We heard the screaming all the way from our room, and only caught the tail end of it, but it’s bad. Cas couldn’t do anything to heal him, he could only try to sooth the pain until they _both_ passed out. Like, passed out _cold_. And, uh, I've never really seen a fully-charged angel do that before. They’re drained, we need to find the demon, and we need to find him now so when we figure out how to put them back together we can do it immediately.”

Sam’s eyes widened, and his pain only grew, but he didn’t have words.

Gabriel stretched out and rolled his eyes, “And let me guess? You want _me_ to find the little fucker, right?”

With pursed lips, Jo nodded.

The redhead took a few deliberate steps into the room until her hands actually pressed down on the mattress and she looked into the man’s golden eyes, “Gabe. You’re the only one, and you _know_ it.”

“Please,” Sam begged, grabbing the angel by the shoulder, even though he knew he didn’t have to. “I _can’t_ lose my brother again.”

Sam didn’t know how deeply the archangel’s annoyance with him went, but he knew if he loved him, he was going to do it. Sam just wanted him to know how much it would mean to him. Wanted Gabe to see it in his eyes, feel it with all his soul. Because it really would mean so much. If he could only show him through the connect of the soul bond, or something-

Gabriel shrugged him off before it could get too far, “I get it, I get it,” and he started pulling on his discarded shirt, which was all he had managed to take off in the first place before their spat. He stood up and ran a hand through his hair, not even looking at Sam, but the women, “All right, see ya later. I’ll go be ‘useful’ and retrieve the bozo.”

In the blink of an eye, he was gone.

The three looked between each other, and Charlie sat on the edge of the bed and ruffled Sam’s hair, “Sorry about that, just. I mean... ya know.”

Sam merely shook his head and didn’t say anything.

“Yeessh.” Jo winced, because she knew that face, “Trouble in paradise, huh?”

“I think I’m just gonna get to sleep,” he offered them a weak smile, “If anyone can find Dean, it’s Gabe.”

“Sam, really. Are you all right?”

However, Sam had already laid down and rolled away from the girls.

They looked at one another and wordless walked out of the room, and shut the door soundly. Until Dean was fixed, _nothing_ would be all right.

\------------

The adrenaline was running high after they took down the army of demons one after the other, even after Crowley had fled. They had won this battle. All the loyalist laid, masses of empty shells and carnage on the ground. All three were out of breath, and they looked around, all making eye contact with merciless smiles, covered in blood, and it was then that Meg grabbed Anna with an aggressive pull and brought their lips together. She pulled away just long enough to lick the blood from her cheek, and before Dean could tell up from down, Anna had her hands grabbing at Meg’s ass to pull them even closer.

“ _Fuck_ , you were so hot, babe,” Meg snickered into her ear, and then moved to suck on her neck as Anna grabbed a fistful of her hair and moaned against the touch.

And, _shit_ , Dean couldn’t look away.

He’d be lying to say that it didn’t get his demon blood boiling as Anna ripped Meg’s jacket away in the midst of the massacre. In fact, he didn’t even bother to hide it, as he took a seat on a fallen pillar and watched. He _couldn’t_ fight it, it was _in_ his demon instincts, everything pulsing with sexual energy and he couldn’t avert his gaze.

Physically, _couldn’t_.

Meg didn’t even bother with removing her clothes one by one, she ripped off the jacket, tearing the blood-soaked blouse off with it until the redhead was left with tattered clothing and her breast’s exposed. Meg lapped down her torso and pulled the bra aside to get her mouth around an already hard, pink nipple. She moaned, and threw back her head, while Meg’s hands snaked behind her and unhooked the bra until that was thrown onto the floor, landing carelessly on one of the beheaded demons.

The brunette twisted her nipples with _just_ the right amount of roughness to leave Anna moaning as she sunk to her knees. She raked her perfect, painted red nails, and blood soaked hands down her taunt stomach and crouched to nip at her hip bones. It was only then, that Meg looked over her shoulder at Dean and huskily teased, “You _just_ gonna watch?”

He normally would have gulped, but _again_ , the demon blood, and his demon _darkness_ propelled him forward until he was less than a foot away, “Really plan on sharing your _girlfriend_ with me, Meg?”

“You did good today, Deano. Can’t say you all _blood-thirsty_ and _murderous_  shouldn’t earn ya reward,” her fingertips teased along the rim of Anna’s waist band, and lingered at the button, “As long as we can both keep it a _secret_ , I think it’d be all right.”

He wasn’t thinking straight.

It didn’t help the lustful eyes both women were staring at him with.

The journey to Hell, the fight, the blood bath, the feeling of sweet, sweet murder drowned out all other thoughts.

He was filled with one hundred kinds of _want_.

Of terrible, _terrible_ wants, and this here, in front of him?

Just another one of those _dark things_ he _craved_.

There was no _human_ inside him, no _moral compass_.

That was the _other_ Dean, the one above ground, getting _doted_ on, so _pure_ so _fucking perfect._

He was a demon. And _this_ was something demons had _no_ remorse about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My demon!Dean is evil. I apologize in advanced O_O


	9. Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I get it. I’ve done my fair share of dumb shit, but what you’ve been doing is asinine. Completely. Fucking. Idiotic. Trying to take over hell? Murdering thousands? I get it, it’s a demon thing, but that’s not your battle - your battle is to pick up the pieces and get back home. Death didn’t put you through this, make you human again for this dumb thing called ’love;’ for you to storm the gates and turn into something even worse than a demon. You still have humanity in you, which is why we can put you back together, but from what I’ve been seeing, it doesn't quite look like you have any intention of that, do ya, Deano?” Gabriel let the pressure on Dean’s neck relax, just to give him a swift kick in the side._
> 
> _“I used to be honored to fight alongside you. How dedicated you were to your brother, who would give anything for you. Who actually went to hell and back for you. I used to think it was sickeningly sweet, how you and my brother were perfect for each other. And you’re throwing that all away? To have a little fun and use the excuse of being a demon? I’d rather give up my crown in Purgatory than watch my brother get his heart broken. Or for Sammy to know about the abomination you've become.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In light of demon!Dean and his evilness, you may want to skip the first third of this chapter, or barely skim until the end of the scene (where the stuff you need to know is). I apologize in advanced IDK what happened, it just happened.
> 
> WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER:  
> Infidelity  
> Meg/Anna/demon!Dean  
> Explicit sexual content

When Meg popped the button, and slowly pulled down the zipper, her eyes never leaving Dean’s, he _snapped_. He moved behind her and slipped his hands down the back of Anna’s pants, to squeeze the lushness of her ass as Meg pulled her pants down the rest of the way. Anna laughed, but it wasn’t out of humor, it was more _wicked_ as leaned her head back on Dean’s shoulder to nip at his neck, while Meg made quick work of pulling her shoes off, and the pants. Dean massaged the lace covering her rear, and felt his erection straining against his jeans.

He teased this fingertip along the bottom of her panties, as the other snaked between her legs from behind to feel the wet spot that was already soaking through the fabric. She moaned out loud as he added some pressure, and felt two fingers dip inside her _just_ enough. Meg stayed on her knees and continued the temptation by mouthing her from the front, around her clit but never actually sucking her.

“What’s allowed, Meg?” Dean inquired as he pushed his lace-covered fingers barely inside, earning another moan, “Need to give me some ground rules. She’s yours, after all.”

“Anything goes, champ,” Meg pulled Anna’s panties to the side, to lead Dean’s fingers to her dripping pussy, “But her mouth is _mine_.”

Dean hm’d an acknowledgement, as pushed two, thick fingers deep inside her, and earned a gasp from the redhead, “What about _you_?”

The brunette raised an eyebrow, and pushed the fabric further to the side to suck Anna’s clit without any barriers, which almost made the woman’s knees go out. Her tongue alternated between flicking, and lapping, until she made her way to where Dean’s fingers were languidly twisting inside of her. Meg took an extra moment to taste her girlfriend before adding one of her fingers alongside Dean’s, “Didn’t know you were _interested_.”

She stood up to her full height, fingering Anna at the same speed as the new demon before looking at Dean though hooded eyes. Without Anna’s heels on, and Meg’s still giving her the height advantage, they were nearly nose to nose. Dean could feel Meg’s breath against his lips, and it was almost like looking in a mirror when her eyes flashed black - “ _My_ mouth is _hers_.”

Then it was a free for all.

Dean’s fingers sped up inside Anna, as he reached over and began frantically pulling as much clothing from Meg’s body as he could manage. Her shirt was torn apart, her bra falling off her shoulder and her pants on the way to ruin. He added another finger, stretching the redhead’s pussy wide open before he pulled her backwards and onto the ground, using himself as a cushion to soften their fall.

He ripped off his own jacket and laid it down behind Anna, before ordering, “Wanna see you eat her out so good, Meg.” Dean stood up and walked around to the front before spreading her legs and dragging his fingers though her wetness from the front. “You’re just begging to be a little whore for your girlfriend, aren’t you, Anna?”

She grabbed his wrist, yanking him down with an inhuman grip, and pushed his fingers back into her, giving them a show, “Feels good to have both of you filling me up.”

“Soon,” Dean dipped down and placed a rough bite on her inner thigh before rubbing circles into her clit, “Can’t just ignore Meg, now, can we?”

She pouted, but her grin returned, and her eyes grew wide as she watched Dean bite down Meg’s neck and then rake his nails down her shoulders until she was completely naked from the waist up. He sucked down her breast, leaving a trail of hickeys until he cradled the back of her head and reminded her, “I thought you had a job to do?”

Meg laughed, and sensually sank to her knees, looking over her shoulder until her breath was between Anna’s legs. She shook her ass, and ordered, “You gonna do anything about these, cowboy? Or did you just want to play with my tits like we’re in middle school?”

Dean laughed behind her, “Oh, I’m only getting _started_ ,” he knelt, and pulled her heels off, one by one before running his hands from her ankles, all the way up her thighs, until they were between her legs.

Anna was already moaning as Meg began teasing around her opening, but not diving in _quite_ yet. He was quick to work off the skin-tight pants, and she obliged him, lifting one leg at a time once he’d pulled them to the knees to get them the rest of the way off. Dean spanked Meg’s bottom as soon as he saw the woman start to tongue fuck the hell out of her girlfriend, and _damn_ , was it a sight to see.

“Very naughty, Meg,” Dean trailed his finger tips, feather-soft, from the cleft of her ass all the way down, “Not wearing panties, I see.”

Meg switched her mouth for three fingers pounding in and out of Anna, before looking over her shoulder and stating, “With a babe this hot, why would I _ever_ bother?”

Dean nipped at Meg’s earlobe, taking in the sight of Anna writhing, and arching into the touch. He grabbed her hair and pulled her back until her neck was fully exposed, “Fair enough. But what kind of punishment would suit such a naughty girl?”

She ground her ass back into him, never taking her eyes off him and smirked. “I’m sure you could come up with something. Something that has to do with you not having pants on.” She arched her back, to give him a full view of everything, before she leaned forward and pushed Anna’s legs even _further_ apart, like she was trying to devour her from the inside out.

Meg was too preoccupied by every moan, every begged word from Anna, she arched into the touch of a thick cock head teasing and rubbing the entire expense of her pelvis. It drug over her clit, slipped across the surface of her lips and teased all the way to her asshole. Suddenly, her legs here pushed together, and slickness from her pussy lubricating her thighs was being fucked into and she felt _want_ so bad.

“Holy fuck,” she pushed into the touch, as the thrusts were shallow, and nearly caught her entrance once or twice. Dean would pull away, grab his dick by the base and use the head to rub circles around her sensitive clit.

Anna moaned louder at the vibrations coming from Meg’s throat between her legs, and grabbed her by the back of the neck to pull her head in closer.

“Do _you_ want it, Meg?” Dean’s voice was sinful as he nipped against the fair skin of her back, and _almost_ dipped inside her again. “Or do you want _Anna_ to have it? Ball’s in your court,” Dean’s hand snaked around to the front to push his fingers into her, while his cock teased at her entrance in tandem, “Feels like _you_ want it. Haven’t been getting a lot of attention. You’re soaking we-”

“Fuck her,” Anna ordered, and grinned, grabbing a fistful of her girlfriend’s hair, just the way she knew she liked it, to effectively pull her to the side. “I wanna watch her scream. I‘m so close, I want her to feel how you both have been making me feel.”

Meg’s eyes were wide, and suddenly she had her girlfriend kissing her, and a cock balls deep inside her pussy. She moaned into Anna’s mouth and cupped her cheek, as the redhead scooted forward. “How dirty do you wanna be, baby?” Anna asked, kissing her stupid, and cupping her breasts, “We never play with boys, wanna be bad?”

The woman grinned, “How _dirty_ are you thinking? I like where this is going.”

“Me too,” Dean reached over from where he was pounding into Meg, and flicked his fingers between Anna’s legs again. “Do tell, angel.”

“Nothing you’re not used to, I promise,” Dean had never witnessed such a devilish smile on Anna’s usually innocent face. “Lay down, Dean.”

He looked confused, but did just what he was told, as Meg was pulled off him by the redhead, she leaned in, and whispered, just loud enough for Dean to hear, “I wanna watch him fuck you in the ass, while I fill your pussy with my fingers.” Her hands trailed down between Meg’s cheeks before looking back at Dean.

“Please tell me, you’re gonna sit on my face,” his grin was wide and Anna licked her lips.

“Only if you’re _good enough_ to make me cum.” She challenged, and Dean watched, enthralled as yet another show was going on in front of him. “Bet it’s been a while since you’ve eaten out a pussy with all that cock you suck.”

Anna knelt back down and licked Meg’s spread cheeks with intensity, before fingering her asshole rough and quick, making Meg moan with every finger added. This must have been something they’d done before. Dean swallowed, unable to come up with a retort, so Meg answered for him, “But I’m getting even wetter thinking about how good he’ll fuck my ass with _all that experience._ ”

She moaned as Anna swatted her ass and followed directions to crawl forward until she was straddling Dean, just barely hovering over his cock, “I’ve always wondered,” she lowered herself down just enough to get the head though the tight ring of muscle, even though he didn’t even look like he was going to _fit_ into her petite body, let alone Anna’s _fingers_ too. Speaking of, the redhead had shifted just enough to wrap her hand around the base of Dean’s cock and pump him a few frankly, _amazing_ times, before squeezing the base and leaning down to lick from the shaft, all the way to the top, and massage around where Meg’s asshole was connected to Dean’s cock with her tongue. Then, she kissed up Meg's body until she was playing with her nipples and sucking marks into her neck.

Dean was breathless and threw his head back, “Y-you had a question...?”

She lowered herself down, _all the way_ down Dean's length, and he couldn’t tear his eyes away as he watched cock completely disappear into her _tight_ ass. She turned to kiss Anna, rough and dirty before grinding against him and grabbing Anna’s wrist to direct her fingers between her legs.

She was breathless as she asked, “How does Clarence fuck?” She rocked and swiveled while riding him, and felt Anna’s first finger press inside her, “A-Always been jealous. Always _wanted_ that, had so many wet dreams about that cock. Caught him in the shower once,” she lifted her hips and slammed down, “So thick. So fucking huge, should be illegal, he's so hot. Sorry babe,” Meg winked at Anna, who raised an eyebrow and took the opportunity to pump and twist two more fingers inside her.

Meg yelped, but lifted herself just enough, to slam down on both perfect intruders, stretching deep inside her. “You should take advantage of Dean’s mouth,” Meg licked the shell of Anna’s ear, “Probably getting to be too much for him. Too tight and wet for his cock.”

And fuck, if she wasn’t right. Meg even spit on her fingers and reached behind, right as Anna crawled on top of him and lifted herself in just the right way so Dean could lick her from top to bottom as she slipped one more finger inside Meg. She knew her girlfriend liked it _rough_ , and a demon could heal instantly, so if it was too much, who the hell cared? She yelped as she felt the push and pull of fingers and cock inside her.

She moaned as she easily found Dean’s entrance, his knees bent up to support her weight, “Tell me, Deano, did you _love_ taking that huge cock as much as I _dreamed_ about it?” She teased _his_ hole, and that’s when he slapped her hand away.

Meg pouted, as he lifted Anna off him just enough to growl, “You say no kissing? I say, no _that_ , all right?”

“Not full demon yet, huh? Since you still have ‘Property of Heaven’ written all over you. Or at least, that sweet ass of yours.”

Now _that_ pissed off the demon.

He started ruthlessly thrusting up into Meg, who was reduced to a moaning and arching _creature_ , not even human-like anymore, and Anna took her cue to pick up the pace. She knew when her lover was close to cumming. He wasn’t going to take it easy on Anna, either, lapping his tongue all the way along her pussy, and alternating thrusts into her cunt and her asshole, before using his fingers to dive in. She moaned and writhed, as he pushed two into her ass, and four into her pussy, all the while sucking, and nearly gnawing at her clit.

Dean had both women screaming and clenching around both his fingers and his cock in less then a minute, and as soon as he knew _they_ had cum by the delicious noises, he shoved them off to work himself to completion with his own hand.

And he came, thinking about _Cas_.

And his stomach _dropped_.  Suddenly, he realized, he needed to get out of there.

But he had to keep up his bravado, and façade, and winked as he stood up, zipping and putting on his pants. “How’s that for ‘ _Property of Heaven_?’”

The women grinned at each other and Anna confirmed, “We should do that more often.”

Dean waved as he walked away, “Let me know when Crowley shows up, I’d like to tear into that fucker.”

“Leaving so soon?” Meg pulled her clothes on, a little shaky, while Anna did the same. “No cuddling or anything?”

It was a snippy, and sarcastic comment, that made Anna throw her head back and laugh, “We’ll let you know when we find Crowley,” Meg helped her to her feet. “And remember. _Our little secret_.”

“Naturally.” He stated, but didn’t turn around, he kept on walking through the carnage, hopping over a few dead bodies with ease before he reached the gates, where the massacre began and there were literal _pools_ of blood. He ducked around the corner, ignoring the ache in his chest just needing to  _get away._

Then, he rolled his eyes to the man who greeted him, leaning against a wall and glaring daggers that could kill directly at him.

\---------

“I think I’m getting this now!” Charlie tapped enthusiastically at a page in a five-inch-thick book she was currently reading. “We have to think along the same lines as how we brought Anna and Meg together when the world was reborn.”

“But, babe,” Jo groaned, “They were two _different_ people. These are two different versions of the _same_ person. And they wanted it, they’d give anything to be together. These two? I have a feeling they don’t have any lost love between them.”

“But-” Bobby raised an eyebrow, “They have a love’a _Cas_ between ‘em. Don’t lookit me, I didn’t come up with that sappy shit, but’s right, _right_? We could use that?”

“Cas as a conduit,” Charlie tapped her chin. “Or rather, _blackmail_. I like where this is going. A conduit to bring them together. If they _both_ want to be with him, they _both_ need to agree to the ritual to be together, right?”

“Hey, where’s Sam? I thought he’d be helping out?” Ellen asked, looking around the room.

“Oh, he’s doing research, _in his room,_ ” Jo stated, but then couldn’t help herself, “Got into a fight with the boo, I think. He’s probably pouting.”

“Where is that idjit anyway? Isn’t he supposed to be delivering the _other_ idjit? Thought he’d be back by now,” Bobby grumbled.

“Yeah, me too,” Charlie looked concerned, “But, hey, at least we’re in the final stages! We’ll probably be finished with this by the time they’re back! At least I hope. Dean’s looking terrible right now. Maybe Sam should visit him or something? Lift his spirits?”

“Heh, him and Cas’ve been comatose since last night,” Ellen scoffed with no humor in her voice, “Better for Sam to pout in peace than get more upset about seeing those two. We’ll get him once we know the plan’ll work.”

\---------

  
“Oh, Gabe, to what do I owe the pleasure?” He buttoned his shirt, and tried to act as natural as possible, while being stared down by the archangel's gaze.

It wasn’t the normal, causal, ‘ _hey, how ya doing, Dean_ ,’ gaze of an archangel. It was the murderous, ‘ _angels as an instrument and tool to carry out God’s fury._ ’ The kind that made little demons _everywhere_ wet their pants. And _fuck_ , if Dean wasn’t one of them. Yet, Gabriel just stared at him, in that icy way, and it was even more unnerving than being attacked, stabbed through the chest, or anything like that. He stared, cocked his head to the side and openly asked, “Is there a _single_ fuckin’ _shred_ of Dean left in you?”

The demon open and closed his mouth a few times, trying to come up with a good one-liner but found… none.

He, more than anything, felt a strange emptiness and guilt.

Dean didn't look at the archangel anymore, he just kept walking forward. It wasn't until he had _almost_ passed him that an iron grip spun him around and he was staring down enraged golden eyes, “I asked you a question.”

He tried to hold the stare, he _really_ did, but after a few seconds, his blood ran cold and he was too _scared_. So he tried to shrug off the grip, trying to get away, and muttered, “I don’t _have_ an answer.”

The grip tightened to the point that the demon actually grunted in pain as Gabriel dug in his fingers, and punched him square in the jaw. He stumbled back, and stared, before another blow was landed, and another, and _another_ , and he was aching and bleeding on the ground. He rolled over just enough to spit out a mouthful of blood before he felt Gabriel’s shoe over his wind pipe, digging the heel in as he leaned forward.

“I get it. I’ve done my fair share of dumb shit, but what you’ve been doing is asinine. Completely. Fucking. Idiotic. Trying to take over hell? Murdering thousands? I get it, it’s a demon thing, but that’s not _your_ battle - _your_ battle is to pick up the pieces and get back home. Death didn’t put you through this, make you human again for this dumb thing called ’ _love_ ;’ for you to storm the gates and turn into something even worse than a demon. You _still_ have humanity in you, which is why we _can_ put you back together, but from what I’ve been seeing, it doesn't quite look like you have any intention of that, do ya, Deano?” He let the pressure on Dean’s neck relax, just to give him a swift kick in the side. “I used to be honored to fight alongside you. How dedicated you were to your brother, who would give anything for you. Who actually would go to hell and back for you. I used to think it was sickeningly sweet, that you and my brother were _more_ than perfect for each other. And you’re throwing that all away? To have a little fun and use the _excuse_ of being a demon?”

Gabriel took a deep breath and took a few steps away, to keep himself from smiting the blood-covered shadow of a man he used to know in front of him.

Dean tried to roll on his side, but it fucking hurt so bad. He shook his head and spit out more blood. His voice was choked, as he muttered, “I still don’t have an answer.”

“Then I don’t have time for _you_ ,” Gabriel dug his hands into his pockets and shook his head, “this is _so_ fucked,” he mumbled as he walked away.

“Gabe!” Dean shouted after him, as he tried to get on his feet, but realized his body wasn’t going to let him. “Don’t tell Cas-”

Gabriel scoffed, but didn’t turn around, “Nah. I’d rather give up my crown in Purgatory than watch my baby brother get his heart broken. Or for Sammy to know about the abomination _you've_ become.”

Dean collapsed back to the floor at the weight of his words and merely listened to the footsteps retreating.

He had fucked up. He had fucked up _bad_.

\---------

Sam looked the second the door opened and he saw Gabriel walk in.

He tried to quirk a smile, “Didn’t think you _used_ doors.”

The angel shrugged, “Wanted to give you a chance to turn me away instead of me just zapping in here, unannounced.”

Sam shifted himself around until he was sitting at the edge of the bed and reaching his hand out, “Why would I turn you away?”

“Uhh,” Gabe took the hand anyway, “Maybe because I've been a fussy, grade-A dick.”

He shook his head violently and pulled Gabriel closer, “No, _stop_ , I’ve only been thinking about myself, I haven’t been thinking about _you_ , and how _I've_ been being the dick. I just... Get a little bit of tunnel vision when it’s about my brother, _you_ know that, and I shouldn't. You’ve been doing more than enough, you’ve been great, and I haven’t even thought about how this has been affecting you and your feeling and-”

“Eww, feelings, please, stop right there.” Gabriel squeezed his hand a little, but there wasn’t much humor in his voice. “I'm not all about this _feeling_ crap right now, kinda got it out of my system before I left, ya know.”

“Gabe?” Sam pulled him closer, “Is something wrong?”

“Nah,” he diverted his eyes away, because keeping things from the younger Winchester was _one thing_ , but outright _lying_ to him with another. “Just tired.”

“Did you find him? Did you find Dean?” Sam finally asked the question Gabe had been dreading.

“I found the demon, yeah.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, “Uh, and?”

“ _And_ , he was easy to locate. So when everything's in place, we can scoop him up, shove them back together, piece of cake.” He kept his voice surprisingly even. “Til then. Let him do this own thing.”

“Why wouldn’t he want to be _here_?” His face was confused, pained, and Gabriel wanted to fix it all, but he couldn’t.

“He’s sorting himself out, Sammy. Just... Let him.”

A moment of silence passed between them before Sam pulled Gabriel close on the bed next to him.

“Are you still mad at me?”

“Nah.” It was honest.

Everything he was upset about earlier, seemed to melt away in the grand scheme of things. What he witnessed made him sick, and it made him want to protect Sam more than ever. He just wished he knew where to start. So he ran his fingers through the soft brown locks and tried to steady the spiteful rage bubbling in his stomach, directed at the demon he had just bore witness to. _Fuck_ , he wished he could have _torn him apart_. He wished he could've, more than anything, but it would have devastated Cas and Sam _both_. They were the people who meant more to him than anyone on the planet. It was eating him away. His vengeful side was coming out more and more by the minute and he _knew_ something had to be done.

He stood up, and placed a kiss on Sam’s forehead, “There’s something I need to handle, all right?”

Sam blinked, and another frown marred that beautiful face. “You're still mad. Gabe, _please_ , let me make it up to you.”

“This has nothing to do with you,” Gabriel emphasized the point by pressing their lips together in a passionate, yet mischievous kiss. “And I’ll be back later tonight if you _really_ wanna make it up to me,” he waggled his eyebrows.

The younger man exhaled a sigh of relief. “All right. I’ll hold you to that.”

“Mm, I’d like to see you try.”

“Whatever you’re doing, just be careful,” Sam grabbed his cheek and kissed him once, twice, three times more for good measure.

“If it means I’m coming back to _this_ then, _duh_ , I’ll be careful.”

Sam smacked Gabe’s ass as he turned, and whispered, ‘I love you’ just as the archangel nodded a quick, ‘you too, moose.’

\-----------

Gabriel walked through the tall grass and passed a few trees until he came to a familiar piece of land almost completely hidden by an ominous amount of fog. But nothing was ominous about the cheery voice that came out to greet him, smiling and waving.

“Loki! How’ve you been?”

“Hello, Andrea.” He nodded in her direction, “Don’t suppose Benny’s around, is he?”

“He’s right inside, if you’d like to follow me,” she gestured, and led deeper into the haze until they entered a strangely light and homey-looking building (for _Purgatory_ , of course).

Benny pulled Gabriel into a hug as soon as he saw him and laughed, “Oh, our Trickster, to what do we owe the honor? It’s been a little bit chaotic since you’ve been in these parts, ya know.”

“Nothing you can’t handle, I’m sure, besides.  Chaos is what makes Purgatory _fun,_ ” he smirked, “But, I _do_ need a _little_ help with a _little_ problem I’m having right now. Think we can cause some trouble like we did back in the old days?”

The vampire raised an eyebrow, “Depends on what kinda trouble you’re suggestin’ there.”

“I just need you to kidnap and hold on to someone for me, nothing big,” Gabriel shrugged, and noted that not a bit of it phased Andrea.

Benny had picked a good woman.

“Yeah, yeah. I guess I can handle that. Who’s the idiot and where can I find him?”

Gabriel closed his eyes for a second to locate him and, yes, the moron was still wandering around where he’d left him, “Well, he’s around the gates of hell, for one-”

“I can’t storm Hell by my-”

“Oh no, no, Hell’s not really _hell_ right now, Anna and Meg took over, so you’ve got a free pass,” Gabriel explained, pacing back and forth, trying to figure out the best way to put this.

“Come again?”

“Yeah, shit, if Andrea wants a field trip to see the place, she could, it’s just a damn wreck, they tore a hole in that one, but back to the _kidnapping_ part. The bitches will be too busy hunting down Crowley, forming their armies and all that bullshit. So, it'll be fun to see the sights without the looming fear or demon attack?  Onto who our little broken bird is: who _you_ need to snatch up, restrain and keep in one place until I come back to fetch him,” Gabriel explained further.

“All right. Who?”

“Dean Winchester.” Gabriel snapped his fingers, “ _Oh_ , don’t be fooled, he’s a demon, so you may need to grab yourself some salt, holy water and prepare a Devil’s Trap. But thanks, guys, I’ll get the porthole ready, and then letcha know when I need him. He might be a little fussy. Self-loathing. _Hell_ , suicidal, even. Don’t let him do that, it's gross and messy, and we need him alive. Kisses! See ya!”

Then he was gone.

Yes, the porthole opened, but Andrea and Benny were almost _too_ dumbfounded to jump in. But an order was an order, and they had no choice but to.

What the _fuck_ was going on?!


	10. Humanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"You two weren’t meant to split up to begin with, so it will be natural for you to combine. I don’t think there’s going to be any issue,” Anna explained._
> 
> _“But I’ll get the memories of Hell back.” Dean stated, looking down at the floor, “The ones I wasn’t strong enough to handle in the first place.”_
> 
> _“The ones you weren’t strong enough to handle on your own.” Meg, surprisingly, cut in with a firm voice. “That’s how demons are created. Isolation. Hells of their own design. You have people who love you here. They’ll help you and your dumbass get through this,” she forced a tight smile, “And... that’s all they’ll be, take it from me. When you experience Hell, it sucks, but once it’s just a memory? You can deal with it. You’re strong, kiddo. And it’s better than not dying, yeah?”_

He didn’t question it for a second. Dean knew he had fucked up, and in _thousands_ of ways. Dean had thought himself invincible, he'd made too many mistakes and should have seen this coming. Really. That, and his aimless wandering and getting lost in his own head had landed him here.

Strapped to a teetering, piece-of-shit chair.

Stuck in the middle of a Devil’s Trap.

All the while, being stared down by someone he would normally consider to be a long, lost friend.

“Well, this sucks,” he muttered, and looked around the room, “Don’t think I’ve been _here_ before, it feels... Weird. Where are we, Benny? And who’s that little hottie with a body who didn’t think twice about giving me a holy water bath? You know I like ‘em fiesty.”

Benny sighed and pulled up a chair, while Andrea crossed her arms and watched.

“Yer in Purgatory, brother. Where me, and my girl Andrea’ve been helpin’ out since the reconstruction started happenin'.” He tried to smile, but watching Dean’s eyes flashing from the vibrant green he remembered to black and then back again was making him sick. “How did you get yourself in this position, Dean?”

“If you mean, tied to a chair, I think that part is obvious.” He rolled his eyes, “But, Purgatory, huh. Shoulda guessed this had _Gabriel_ written all over it. Needed you to do his dirty work. Tell me, Benny, have you been his little right-hand bitch for the last five years?” He sneered, and then nodded his head, now addressing Andrea, “Does that make you the bitch’s bitch? I never really understood how that worked, can’t say I’ve ever let myself fall to that level before.”

Instead of lashing out, Benny had to remember Gabriel’s words.

_‘He might be a little fussy. Self-loathing. Hell, suicidal. Don’t let him do that, we need him alive.’_

Dean was trying to stir up trouble, the best way a _demon_ could.

Benny wasn’t about to let himself fall into this trap.

“He was honestly asking what happened, but if you’re gonna be a smart ass, by all means. Can we get you anything? Mouthful of salt? A nice bedtime story, as read by a priest? I can never tell what demons are into these days,” Andrea snapped, and soon after, Benny wrapped his arm around her waist to calm her down.

Spit-fire, indeed.

“Aren’t you two _sickeningly_ sweet.”

“You ‘n Cas were _cavity-inducing_ , thought you‘d be up there with him. Been searchin‘ for ya constantly, ya know.” Benny countered with a chuckle, “What happened to _that_?”

Dean fell silent, and _that’s_ when the vampire knew he had struck a nerve.

“Dean? What happened with Cas?”

“Gabriel didn’t tell you _anything_?” Dean raised an eyebrow, “Like, literally. Not a _thing_?”

Benny shook his head, “Just to grab your ass for safe keeping. And ‘m sorry about this. Wish it could be a little more comfortable.”

“Maybe if you were a little bit better behaved, it could be,” Andrea didn't bother to keep the venom out of her voice, but softened when she looked back at her lover and placed a kiss on Benny’s cheek, “I’m going to go make the rounds. I’ll be back in a little bit.”

“Sounds good, darlin’, I’ll be here.”

There was a goofy grin on his face as he watched her depart, that made Dean want to gag, but he held it in, “Looks like you’re doin’ pretty good for yourself,” he said instead.

“Yeah. Yeah, everything’s been good. Gabriel’s been treatin' us well, hell, gave us the same _rank_ and splendor of his pagan god friends. Good to be comrades in arms with an archangel, wouldn’t ya say?” Benny was in such good spirits, it just took the demon to new lows.

Dean was a creature of darkness, as much as _Benny was_.

How had he fucked up this bad?

Why couldn’t he have this life Benny had?

He’d practically thrown it all away.

And now he was here. Just _waiting_. And waiting for _what_ , exactly? Gabriel’s wrath? To be tattled on? Who the hell knew anyone.

“Yer thinking’ too hard. Talk to me, Dean. Come on, brother. You ‘n I were closer comrades in arms than me ‘n Gabe. You can trust me,” he scooted the chair forward, until it was just outside the edge of the devil’s trap. “You obviously need a friend right now.”

“Trust me, Benny. If you knew half of the shit, we'd hardly be friends. Pretty fuckin' positive we’d be _enemies_.”

“Don’t be so sure.”

Dean knew his eyes were black, so he hung his head, unable to look at the man in front of him. He had no idea what he was supposed to do. Other than wait.

\---------

Gabriel tried to be as silent as he could, as he crawled back into bed with Sam. For what seemed to be the millionth time. He’d been running errands all day, silently watching (and trying his hardest _not to smite_ ) to make sure the mission he’d sent Benny on had worked out, and seeing if he could figure out with any of his Deity friends if there was a way to speed up the process. Since, apparently, this is what he did. He did it in the Underground, and he was _still_ doing it now. Working behind the scenes, and cleaning up other people’s messes. He should have been bitter about it, but he was, _unfortunately_ , good at it, like he had been in Heaven, when he was an archangel. He had been used to responsibility then, and he thought of this like a _relapse_.

_Hah_ , he thought silently. Only he would think about doing ‘ _good_ ’ as a _relapse_. But that’s what made him a good leader of _Purgatory_. That’s what made him a _neutral_ party in the Trifecta. He didn’t give a fuck one way or the other.

He’d silently checked in with the real (human) Dean, and Castiel to see if there was any change, but the two were still unconscious from the previous night.

So the only thing he _could_ do, because everything was still gone to shit, was cuddle in with his boyfriend and pretend, if only for a second, that things were going to be all right.

Like he had told Sam the previous night.

Only, this time, he knew things the younger man didn’t and it was getting harder and harder to pretend.

However, he was a Trickster.

A _liar_.

He was lucky it was in the job description, and he was damn good at that, too.

He must have roused Sam, because normally, the man would just relax against his body and that was that. But this time, he turned all the way around, and pressed their forehead’s together. His hands ran up and down Gabriel’s sides. Then, Sam lifted his chin enough, to kiss the man’s brow, soon to return to where he had originally situated himself.

Yep. Definitely awake.

Gabriel took a deep breath, and let himself reach out and tangle his legs up with Sam’s, but didn’t say a word. If Sam wanted to talk, he would say something. 'Talking' was something the human never held back. How did he end up with such a practical other half?

“You had a rough day.”

“Huh?”

Eloquent, Gabriel. Very eloquent.

“Hello. I’m Sam, have we met. I have part of your soul, I can _feel_ when you’re pissed off. And that’s been a common theme,” he tried to joke. “Anything you want to talk about.”

“Nope.”

The room was silent for a second, and then the angel could hear Sam _audibly_ swallow.

“I don’t mean, pissed off. I felt it yesterday, too, just didn’t say anything. I mean _furious_. Even from dimensions away,” the hand that had been caressing him, squeezed at his arm in emphasis, “I think there’s something you need to talk about. I’ve never felt that kind of rage before.”

“Then let _me_ deal with it, don’t want to drag you in,” Gabriel’s voice was soft, but honest.

Because he really, really, _really_ didn’t want to rehash anything, let alone fill Sam in about any of the bullshit going on with his ‘brother.’

“Hey,” Sam’s voice raised a level, “I thought we were in this together. I get it, it’s kind of a cheat that you can’t hide anything from me, and we’re connected, but you were really good at hiding shit, so I think it’s a free pass. I wouldn't be able to tell otherwise. Give me _something_. Anything. I don’t want to pick a fight, but when something’s bothering you _that_ much I can’t just let it go. I’d be an asshole all over again to just _ignore_ it. I gave you space, but you're still... upset.”

“I'm not 'upset.' But you are _persistent_ ,” Gabriel grumbled, “Ever think I’m just full of rage and you didn’t know until now? I mean, we haven’t had this stupid soul-link long. And archangels are known to be vengeful and volatile and-”

“Cut the crap, Gabe.”

“Shit in Hell is going down, okay. Demon’s behaving badly. But he’s ready, and waiting to be linked back up with the well-behaved Dean. Did some research. Dead ends. But Charlie’s onto something. Cas and 'good Dean' are snoozing. Can we drop it now?” Gabriel groaned, “You said it yourself. Rough two days. Can we go to sleep? Or if you wanna stay up and make it better,” he suggestively humped Sam’s hip a few times, “Juuuust sayin’.”

The younger man bit his lip, but didn’t ask anymore questions. That was more than he _thought_ he was going to get out of him, so he left it at that. He could ask more people in the morning, now that he knew of a direction to go in. Yeah, maybe he was fishing for information, but if Gabriel wasn’t going to give it all willingly, he could always go looking for it himself. He wasn’t going to tell the angel that. Tomorrow, he could handle it. Tonight... _Tonight_ he could always distract him. Maybe something to quell the angel, he deserved that much.

“Oh yeah?” Sam asked, raising an eyebrow, and leaned down to catch Gabriel’s lip with his teeth, “If _that’s_ all it takes to make it better.”

“Well shit, didn’t think that was actually gonna work!” The trickster laughed, and instantly rolled on top of Sam.

Because _this_?

_This_ was something he could do.

And he was more than happy to forget for a while.

\-------

There was a loud knock at the door in the early hours of the morning, and both men groaned in tandem as they searched for their discarded clothes from the night before.

“Hooooold on,” Gabriel yelled, a bit too loud for Sam’s sensitive ears, who shot him a glare, “Unless you wanna see a whole lotta man-junk hanging out.”

“Ew. No.” Charlie answered.

And thank god it was _Charlie_. Anyone else probably would have come stomping in (especially had it been Jo), but this girl had walked in on _too_ many people, _too_ many times to even _risk_ coming in after a warning like that.

“Are you done yet?”

“Yep!” Gabriel was fully dressed by the time Charlie opened the door, but Sam had _barely_ pulled on his boxers.

“Hey!” He indignantly snapped.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow, completely apologetically, “What? I like to remind people of my boyfriend’s rippling muscles and perfect physique. Just showing off a bit.”

“Yeah, you did snag a catch right there,” Charlie giggled as she walked in the room and winked at Sam as he pulled on his pants, “Nice marks, by the way. Looks like you to _bit_ and made up?”

“Oo, I _like_ that one!” Gabriel clapped his hands together. “I’m gonna use that. So, what’s up, Charlie. Are you the annoying rooster at the ass-crack of dawn these days?”

“Yep! But guess what, we fine-tuned a ritual that we think is going to bring the Dean’s together!” She was so excited, and didn't hesitate to suddenly _snatch_ the shirt away Sam was about to pull on.

“Hey, what the hell!”

“Just because I like boobs, doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a little _man eye-candy_ , from time to time,” she blew him a kiss, “And Gabriel provided.”

“I’m a piece of meat.”

“ _My_ piece of meat,” Gabriel patted him on the cheek, “This must be the real deal, you’re in a damn good mood!”

“You better believe it. Spent all night working on it. And there was coffee. Lots and _lots_ of coffee.”

“That explains it. So what do we need?”

“I’ve already sent some angels to grab the ingredients, we’re just missing two consults, a demon, and a conscious human.” She explained, listing them off on her fingers, “Which is why we need you.”

“I’ll probs be able to wake up Sleeping Beauty and snatch the Demon,” he paused, “What about these consults?”

“Anna and Meg,” she smiled, “We’re doing a remix of the spell they used to stitch each other back together.”

Gabriel hoped his face didn’t lose any color, because he really, _really_ didn’t want to see those bitches any time soon. Nothing like waking up in a homicidal mood, or anything. Sam could feel it, and looked _right_ at Gabe, who refused to turn his head and make eye contact. He was trying not to give anything away. Especially since Sam now that this stupid 'built in lie detector.'

“May I suggest giving _Ruby_ a holler, then?” Gabriel smirked, “Dealing with Tweedle Dean and Tweedle Demon might take some time, which, I’m thinking, we _don’t_ have a lot of.”

“Umm, sure?” Charlie’s brow furrowed and she tilted her head, “But why do we need Ruby? I know that reapers can find anyone, but-”

“Meg and Anna took over Hell. Ruby helped. My guess if she knows right where the ’new Queens’ set up their Lesbian Palace. Might save some time,” he shrugged his shoulders, like it was old news, “Just saying.”

“What?!” Charlie’s eyes might have well of bugged out of her head, “They took over _Hell_!? I thought they had a cease-fire with Crowley?!”

“Thirsty bitches.”

“Uh, yeah. I’ll just, go summon Ruby then...” she stood up, still looking confused, but still managed to smile at Sam, “Thanks for the eye candy, dude.”

“You’re welcome?”

As she walked away, Sam smacked Gabriel in the arm and demanded, “What was _that_ all about? There’s obviously a reason _you_ don’t want to find them.”

“Shut up, moose,” he stood and rolled his eyes, “Let’s just fix your brother.”

\-------

Benny had been sitting, prodding and annoying Dean enough to pull at least _part_ of a story from him. He knew all the right buttons to push. Both of them did, and it was a miracle neither of them killed each other by the end of their time together. But before Gabriel had the chance to reappear, Dean was disgusted, because Benny looked at him with sympathy.

Fuckin’ _sympathy_.

The _last_ thing he wanted to see from _anyone_.

Let alone someone he had told he _repeatedly carved into_ , and _dismembered_ while he was in Hell, a million times over, _without_ remorse or guilt. Someone he would have no problem doing it to again, if the ghost of Lucifer was whispering in his ear, it was either Benny or Cas that had to go. There was no reason for sympathy, it should have been _disgust_.

_Hate. Betrayal._

Dean loathed that Benny was such a decent person.

Vampire. _Whatever_.

He was better than this, had risen above it, and was now sitting there, relaxed and trying to _help_.

Dean didn’t breathe a word about Meg or Anna, just told him about cutting down hundreds of demons without a thought, and then making a stupid choice which would probably hurt Cas. Ironic.  _That_ had been the one thing he didn’t want to do. And that’s when the vampire started to look sympathetic. Benny started to tell him about all the times he had disappointed Andrea, but if love was truly there, forgiveness would be as well. Cas loved him, so Dean had nothing to worry about. If Dean did something he regretted, there was humanity left in him, and everything would work out in the end.

The demon was about to snap back, when Gabriel fucking _fluttered_ his ass into existence and grabbed him by the arm.

“All right, ladies and gentleman, it’s time!” He announced and nodded at Benny, “Thanks for babysitting the heathen, I’ll letcha know whether I accidentally kill him or not.”

“Hey!”

“You wouldn’t wanna do that, Gabe,” Benny laughed and shook his head, “He’s not _all_ that bad.”

“Oh, but he _is_ ,” the archangel leaned forward, “And if you hadn’t taken one for the team, he’d already be dead by now. So kudos, vamp. See ya.”

As soon as they were gone, Benny sighed and looked at the now-empty chair and the Devil’s Trap, wondering just what his friend had gotten himself into. Andrea walked into the room and wrapped her arm around his shoulders from where he was sitting and could feel his distress. She hated being around the demon, and didn't want to interrupt the two of them anyway. So as soon as she felt him leave, she reappeared.

“Way above your pay-grade, don’t worry about it, love.”

“I know, I know. Just wish I could do somethin' to help.”

“Help him when he’s _better_. It sounds like he’ll need it.”

Benny nodded, and stood up to wrap her in his arms, “What would I do without you?”

“Crash and burn, obviously.”

“’Course.

\--------

Ruby thought it was amusing they wanted _her_ help to find Meg and Anna. Meg and Anna found it even _more_ amusing when they found themselves in a room, chatting with Charlie about the ritual, how they were planning on tweaking it, while the rest of the old crew ran around. However, there was no sign of either Dean, Gabriel, nor Castiel. Sam walked in, and directly over to the three women, as soon as they were done explaining. He looked a little wary, but not disgusted, or put-off, so clearly he didn't know their secret.

“So. Do you think this is going to work?”

Anna nodded, “Charlie seems to have done her homework. I think it’s just enough of a change to make sense, with how the situation varies. As long as both parties are willing to participate, it shouldn’t be an issue.”

“Well, _obviously_. Since they’re going to die if they don’t,” Sam laughed, as if it was clear as day, “Uh, good job? Taking over Hell by the way? Better the demon you know, I guess.”

“That, Sam Winchester, was the most awkward congrats I’ve heard in my long life,” Meg clapped him on the back, “I liked it.”

He tried to laugh, because he knew it was true, but he was still a little uneasy, “Thanks? I think.”

Castiel walked into the room, worn and exhausted and nearly stumbled to the table. His voice was impossibly lower, and deeper, like he’d been ran over by a truck multiple times and barely made it out to tell the tale, “Gabriel is waking Dean now,” he looked at the woman and smiled genuinely, “It’s good to see you two, I apologize for being in such a state. I’ll be very happy once this is over and done with.”

“We all will be, Cas,” Sam’s hushed voice responded, “Where’s the demon? I haven’t seen him since-”

“I’ll grab his ass in two shakes,” Gabriel walked out, with the human Dean looking in _much_ better shape than Cas. He almost looked _fully_ healed, “Sorry, bro. Thought this kid needed a little more healing than you, since the ritual may take its toll. Don't want him down for the count, after all.”

“Hey! I’m not a wimp!” Dean snapped at the archangel, “But, uh, thanks. Asshat.”

Gabriel pinched his cheeks, “Well, aren’t you the cutest little douche bag on the planet. Can’t wait to have _you_ back full-time.”

“So, uh, what’s gonna happen when we merge? Besides the not dying, thing?” Dean asked, walking over to Cas and running a hand through the dark locks, frowning by how shitty he still looked. “What happened when you guys went in halfsies?”

Meg and Anna looked between each other, still finding it strange (to say the least) now seeing the difference and distinct contrasts between the two Deans up close. Especially the tender way he was taking care of Cas. The only thing that was going to make this more awkward was when the demon stomped into the room, as he was supposed to, any minute.

Anna cleared her throat, “I don’t think it’s going to apply,” she admitted, “We shared _powers_ , and _attributes_ of ourselves. But you two are going to share _everything_. Memories. Minds. You weren’t meant to split up to begin with, so it will be natural for you to combine. I don’t think there’s going to be any issue.”

“But I’ll get the memories of hell back.” Dean stated, looking down at the floor, “The ones I wasn’t _strong enough_ to handle in the first place.”

“The ones you weren’t strong enough to handle on your _own_.” Meg, surprisingly, cut in with a firm voice. “That’s how demons are created. _Isolation_. Hells of their _own_ design. You have people who _love_ you here. They’ll help you and your dumbass get through this,” she forced a tight smile, “And... that’s all they’ll be, take it from me. When you experience Hell, it sucks, but once it’s just a _memory_? You can deal with it. You’re strong, kiddo. And it’s better than not dying, yeah?”

Then, Dean surprised everyone, by surging forward, and wrapping Meg in a hug.

She stood there, awkwardly for a moment, but then recapped her words, and slung her arms around him too. She knew what it was like to be afraid. So, she could honestly see how those words could affect him. Besides, after they merged, who knew if Dean would ever talk to her again, right? She might as well soak up the moment while it lasted. It may be her last.

“Thanks, Meg. Really,” he took a deep breath, and mumbled into her hair. “That means a lot.”

“Well, shit, what the hell did I walk in on?” The strange echo of his voice sounded uncanny to Dean’s ear.

Gabriel rolled his eyes, “I said _two shakes,_ assholes, are we ready or _are we ready_?”

Meg quickly pulled away, and then gathered her sassy voice back together, “Jealous, demon?”

He rolled his eyes, and sauntered over to Charlie, his voice dropping, “Can we get this over with.”

Dean took a second to look at himself, and it was a surreal moment. This time, they were both standing proud and tall, sizing each other up, _right_ in front of each other, but it wasn’t looking into a mirror. They were two _completely_ different people, and they could _feel_ it. How was this supposed to be ‘natural’ as Anna put it? How could they belong _together_ , in the _same_ body?

It was about then, that the human was getting nervous, and the demon couldn’t make eye contact with Cas. There was a tension in the air, which Charlie quickly had to dismantle by stating, “Yeah, we’ve got everything together. Girls say it’s a go. All that’s left is a little hoodoo, some blood spillage and, _sorry_ , you guys holding hands. Weird.”

“Uhh,” Jo piped up for the first time, “Can you guys cut it out with the creepy staring? It’s getting... Uncomfortable.”

Cas actually chuckled at the comment, but other than that, the room was silent, because the tension was _more_ than palpable.

“Okaaaaay,” Charlie continued, “Gabe, mix up this little concoction, would you?” She pushed forward a bowl and ingredients, “Bobby, your Latin’s the best, next to Cas. I‘m worried he‘s gonna pass out at any second and we'll end up with four arms and two heads on Dean.” The older man rolled his eyes and took the book.

And just like that, the other stood back, and the ritual was set into motion.

Charlie gestured for both men to come closer, while the smoke filled the room, and the words of Bobby’s chanting faded into the background. She pulled out a knife, which they both looked down at, as she gently reached for their hands. Charlie didn’t show much remorse as she cut the demon’s palm, but looked regretful, as the blade sunk into the human’s flesh and he winced, “Sorry, all right, about that hand holding?”

Both hesitated, glaring at each other, and it was the human who reached out first. The demon took it aggressively, and the feeling was... _strange_.

It was as though they could feel the blood rushing from one body to the other, like they were somehow a connected being, sharing veins and arteries, blood being pumped by two hearts. And _that’s_ when shit hit the fan.

The human started sweating profusely, and the memories... The memories _started to come back_.

_Tearing the flesh from Jo’s face. Setting his brother’s living, breathing body on fire. Cas watching, staring with wet eyes, his each and every move._

“No... No. _No_ , I _can’t_ do this-”

But the demon felt the pull of _humanity_. He felt the _goodness_ , the _warm_ , happy feeling of _love_. The honest to goodness affection of _friendship_. Not hate. Not guilt. The thing that he’d been missing. If he had been hesitant to merge with the human before, all those feelings flew out the window with this first taste of the man's memories.

He tightened his grip on the man’s hand. He _wasn’t_ going to pull away.

He _wasn’t_ going to let him. Not now. Not when he was feeling _human_ again.

_The decades and decades wore on, tearing him down, dying over and over again, killing over and over again and... Getting used to it. Enjoying it. But never hurting Cas. Never Cas. But Cas hating him for it. But not caring because he enjoyed the bloodshed, he was numb to it, he loved the feel of the blade in his hand, the sight of the final breath escaping someone’s lungs, the power that he held over the living until their dying moment-_

“ _Let go_! I don’t _want_ this, I _can’t live with this_!”

The demon choked back a sob as he felt it. Really, _really_ felt it. Before, it was fight or flight, dying to protect Cas, and not letting Cas protect him, but now the memories after the human was pulled from the river in Hell... The tender touches and making _love_ again, not just the rough fucking and the desire to be touched before it could all fall away any moment. The tears fell, because it felt so _right_. It was what he was missing. He wasn’t letting this get away.

He grabbed on to Dean with his free hand too, as the human’s struggles became more violent, more fierce, because; apparently, he’d rather _die_ than live with what the demon had done. But, ironically enough, this had given the demon a reason to finally _live_ again. _Nothing was going to stand in his way._

Now that the recently memories of Cas were surfacing, the demon knew that the human was experiencing _his_. Memories from taking over hell ... Memories of _willingly_ betraying Castiel.

Dean looked at the demon wide-eyed, and tear’s fell from his eyes, as a harsh whisper demanded out, “What have you done...?!”

And, as both bodies fell to the floor, only a _single one_ landed with a thud.


	11. Schism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Charlie wasn’t in the mood for Gabriel’s usual taunting and beating around the bush. “Did something go wrong with the spell?”_
> 
> _“Nah, nothing went wrong with the spell. Dean’s just… stronger than we thought. His body’s obviously completed the merge, but he’s fighting tooth and nail to keep their minds apart. And until their minds join…” Gabriel clucked his tongue, “I’ll let you finish the rest of that.”_
> 
> _“Why would he do that?! We found a way for him to not die, why’s he trying to now?”_
> 
> _The archangel pressed his lips together and shrugged. “He’s a strange one. Cas seems to think he’s serious about staying comatose. Like. Forever. You saw Castiel. I don’t know what Deano said to him but it struck a chord.”_

When Dean’s body dropped, the entire room froze in space, like a small city inside a snow globe - their world was completely shaken. Cas moved first, trying his hardest to stay upright as he stumbled to Dean, _one single Dean_ , and cradled him on his lap. He checked all the signs. _Yes_ , he was still breathing, his heart beat was strong, he was _alive_ and it had _worked_.

He nodded at the discovery, but didn’t smile.

At the end, there was enough smoke in the room that no one _saw_ what happened. They didn't see the struggle, the violent fighting between the human and the demon.

But they _heard_ the screaming between the two Deans, clear as day.

Everyone had honestly thought it would be the other way around. That the demon would want to remain separate from the human, he showed no signs of slowing down, or withdrawal from his human counterpart. And he was _thriving_ from being a demon - reveling and enjoying every second of it. It was the _human part of Dean_  who was hurting, that _needed_  his other side back for survival. However... when they clasped their hands together, things took a turn.

When the memories started flowing, and they started combining, the _demon_ wanted to feel _human_. He missed all the things that made him good and pure, and would do _anything_ to make things right again. Which no one saw coming. The demon had been cocky, self-serving and showed no remorse. What made him _need_ that human side? Did he still have humanity left in him that craved it? That needed the redemption?

However, human Dean. ..

Human Dean was begging for _death_.

 _He’d rather die_ than live with what the demon had done.

 _That_ was terrifying.

No one knew what was going to happen when he woke up but Charlie, being the closest in proximity, and Gabriel, rushed over to help Castiel to his feet and haul Dean up. They dragged the two towards their room and tucked them in.

Gabriel and Charlie decided, right away, they were going to stay and watch over them. They _needed_ to be there when Dean woke up. This was more important than anything right now.

\-------------

Sam came in and out, offering Charlie coffee and food and Gabriel random treats he and Ellen found around the house - but time was starting to wear on them. Gabriel’s foot wouldn’t stop bouncing, and Jo ordered Charlie to lay down - offering to take a shift, but the redhead absolutely _refused_. Anna, Meg and Ruby were long since gone, and Gabriel couldn’t be more grateful. Hopefully Crowley got the jump on them downstairs at one point and cut off a tit, or something. But the strange thing was... he never felt 'The King's' life force fade.

Just where the fuck _was_ Crowley?

“Hey?” Sam was rubbing his shoulder while Gabriel was obnoxiously moaning like a porn star, which had Charlie swatting at him and Jo rolling her eyes, “Can’t you, like, hop into dreams?”

“Don’t stop,” Gabriel ordered and shimmied his body from head to toe. “Can. Don’t wanna. Plus, he’s healing. We don’t want any, and I mean _any_ , interference while his mind is mending together. This isn’t just a wound, kid, or even brain surgery. This is _serious_ shit. We got lucky with the ritual and all went well, besides the Dean vs. Dean near-smack down, but we can’t fuck this up now.”

Charlie nodded, “Yeah. No-touching policy. Which is also why we need to be here to talk to him when he wakes. Like Meg said, he needs friends to get through this. Gabe needs to be here in case shit goes wrong, and he needs a nap-”

“-hey, I’m a _friend_!”

“But Cas, Sam, me and Jo are the ones he’s closest to. We’ll help him through this. Who knows, maybe the memories will cancel out and he’ll be a fresh slate?” She shrugged.

“You are much too optimistic, Charlie,” Cas mumbled, from where he was running his hands though Dean’s hair, seated beside him, “But Meg _was_ right. He needs friends. And I’m too weak to use my angelic abilities, so I thank you in advanced, Gabriel.”

“Everyone always wants me for my body.”

“It’s a nice body,” Sam leaned down to nip at his ear and casually run a hand over his chest from where he was standing behind his chair, “King of Purgatory.”

“No buttering me up, Sammy,” he admonished, “But, feel free to keep doing _that_.”

“You guys are gross,” Jo glared, and turned to Charlie, “We’re not gross like that, right? _Please_ tell me we’re not that gross.”

“Not in _public_ ,” she winked, and grabbed her girlfriend’s hand. “They’re tacky. Let them be.”

“Mmhmm,” the archangel enthusiastically purred, and nuzzled into Sam’s arms.

However, when the young Winchester was distracted, the archangel may or may not have siphoned some power from him though the soul bond that left Sam yawning and drooping a little.

“You all right there, kiddo?” Gabriel looked up at him and stopped the nuzzling to simply trace his fingertips over Sam’s forearms, “Jo can come and get you if anything changes. You look like you need a nap.”

And he did. How much Gabe just took out of him would make him pass out at any second. And even if Sam was suspicious, he yawned again and didn’t question it, “Mmk. Remember, as _soon_ as he wakes up,” he leaned down and kissed Gabe on the cheek before making the trek to their room.

Gabriel had reasons. _Many_ reasons in fact. The archangel _knew_ it wasn’t going to be pretty when Dean woke up. Plus, Gabe was running on E from healing both of the former-Trinity idiots earlier that day, his abilities only went _so far_. He needed some of Sam's energy. Who knew what they were going to be dealing with, once Dean was among the land of the living. Plus, with his energy depleted (call him a paranoid bastard) he had a throne to defend, and seeing how Crowley’s little venture went, he didn’t have _time_ to be weak or unable to defend his domain. It made threats _that_ much more real. Apparently, times were changing.

Yeah, family was important. However, he’d gotten rather protective over his _land of monster’s passed_  over the last five years. _No one_ was going to take that away from him. He wouldn’t be caught with his pants down, in terms of strength and power.

He didn’t care who caught him with his pants down in the literal sense.

Hell, he _encouraged_ it.

So he crossed his arms and kept a silent vigil along side his brother, and waited. Even if he _hated_ waiting.

\---------

Cas wasn’t sure _when_ he had fallen asleep, but he knew he was out of sorts and still uncomfortable with the entire concept of it. He _shouldn’t_ be sleeping anymore, before it was to be reunited with Dean and now he was at his bedside… and it was disconcerting (to say the least) that he was drained enough that he _kept_ finding himself drifting off and away to dream land. Unless it was for the same reason as _before_?

If _that_ was the case, he _welcomed_ it with open arms.

The space he found himself in was infinite.

Like looking into the sky, without the stars. The universe without the obstruction of the galaxy.

The vastness made his stomach drop in that insignificant, existentialist way.

He didn’t see anything, but he could _feel_ something. There was an energy around him, but nothing to _visually_ pin it to. It reminded him of Dean’s breath across his skin, the tickle of grace over his own but... _Dean’s grace_ has burned out. No, this was the feel of _phantom limbs_.

 _Four_ phantom arms wrapping around him. Two gripping his torso, in a firm and comforting hug and two…

Covering his ears?

There were echoing rumbles, which he assumed to be voices, arguing hissed whispers and the hands around his midsection tightened and caressed him.

Confusion scrunched his brow, and finally the reverberation reached a climax and he could make out the words:

\- _Can’t go back_ -

Were they directed at him?

Castiel _knew_ the touches, he had _experienced_ both the touches and tried to use his grace (rather than his physical body) to reach out and touch them. He overlapped his energy with the arms around his waist, which were tainted by darkness, and encircled some around the pressure - a pure type of light and innocence - blocking his ability to hear. He tugged the equivalent of its palm to his lips, and kissed it - with what he hoped was reassurance. There was a _happiness_ that vibrated through the energy, but then a sadness washed over it. Cas didn’t want this - he didn’t want this at all.

“Please-” he knew his voice was choked, “You _have_ to. Come back.”

It wasn’t words that answered Castiel, so much as _ideas_ that echoed through his head, without spoken words, words like: _heard us - want to but won’t let us - too many memories - don’t deserve to - love you Cas._

It hurt him to know how much he hurt.

Cas shook his head repeatedly, _trying_ to draw the phantom limbs closer and not let go, _trying_ to wake himself up and pull Dean back too-

… but he slipped out of his grasp.

When Cas jerked awake, and nearly knocked the table next to him over, he flew to Dean’s side. He grabbed his unconscious face and whispered into his ear, “You _have_ to, _please_ , you deserve it, we can help you. I love you so much, I can’t do this without you-”

“What the hell, Cas?!” Gabriel demanded and stood up, his chair screeching across the cement as he crossed the room to see his desperate little brother. “What’s going on?”

Jo was still as she watched the exchange, frozen in place. This wasn’t Dean waking up but something, most definitely, had just happened to _Cas_. And she’d be lying to say that it didn’t scare the crap out of her. She grabbed Charlie’s hand to keep her in her seat, already knowing the woman was ready to jump up, same as Gabriel - but they’d much rather keep something sensitive like this between brothers.

The archangel flashed a significant look to the two woman that told them _all_ they _needed_ to know - and just as they guessed, this was something that was meant for _family_. The blonde kept her hold on Charlie and led her out of the room as silently as possible, leaving the door barely cracked so they could be called at a moment’s notice.

Cas doubled over and buried his head against Dean’s chest, and kept repeating with tears stinging his eyes, “You deserve it… you deserve it… wake up, need you… love you…”

Normally, he’d chalk it up to Dean being stubborn, and know he would sort it out and come around.

But in that dream… he could _feel_ _every emotion._

And Dean was completely defeated.

Even if one half (unbelievably, the _demon_ half) was fighting to come back, it wasn’t the half of Dean that made the final choice.

It felt like that Dean... was saying _goodbye_. And Cas wouldn’t be able to live with that.

\---------

“I thought we agreed no-touching policy?!” Jo growled at Gabriel as he walked out of the room to give Cas some space.

Castiel was beside himself, and could barely get out the reason as to _why_.

Obviously, being uncomfortable in that type of situation, and knowing, more than anything, Cas needed to be with Dean, Gabriel had decided to leave. Plus, he knew the woman were probably immediately suspecting the worse.

For once… they were right.

“We agreed to no-touching, but Deano didn’t exactly sign up for that, sweetheart.” Gabe rolled his eyes. “It’s not like he’d ever agree to keeping his paws off Cassie, anyway. We’d have to cut ‘em off first.”

“What happened? Why was Cas like that?!” Charlie wasn’t in the mood for Gabriel’s usual taunting and beating around the bush. “Did something go wrong with the spell?”

“Nah, nothing went wrong with the _spell_. Dean’s just… stronger than we thought. His _body’s_ obviously completed the merge, but _he’s_ fighting tooth and nail to keep their minds apart. And until their minds join…” Gabriel clucked his tongue, “I’ll let you finish the rest of that.”

“Why would he do that?! We found a way for him to _not_ die, why’s he _trying_ to now?”

The archangel pressed his lips together and shrugged. “He’s a strange one. Cas seems to think he’s serious about staying comatose. Like. _Forever_. You saw Castiel. I don’t know what Deano said to him but it struck a chord.”

“Maybe we could get Sam to talk to Dean, don't we have that African Dream Root-?” Jo began, only to be cut off by Gabriel.

“Sam stays out of this. If they’re still separate, I don’t want him around that piece of shit demon. The _only one_ he won’t hurt is Cas, _anyone else_ is in danger,” the man’s voice took on a threatening tone as he looked between the women. It was an order, not a suggestion. “If we’re in Dean’s mind, who knows that he’d do to us. Anything is possible and the demon would do it without remorse, maybe even to _trick_ the good part of Dean into giving in and merging with some kind of hostage situation. And what good would that do? We could be down a friend, and Dean would be even _more_ of a mess when he wakes up than he already is! _Great_ fuckin’ plan, ladies.”

“Dude! You don’t have to be an _asshole_!” Charlie snapped, and felt herself a step away from slapping him. “What’s been up with you lately, anyway?! You’ve been fighting with Sam, constantly disappearing and being more of a smart-ass lately when we all can tell the bravado's fake. You should be _happy_ Sam’s back, but you’re fucking _weird_ , and I don’t even _know_ how to describe it.”

“Maybe because I’m always cleaning up all your mistakes!” Gabriel hissed, “I’m _sick_ of fixing shit for everyone because you’re too pathetic to fix it yourselves! I’m flattered you think I can save everyone, and I’m at your beck and call whenever you need an ingredient here, a kidnapping there, some archangel superpowers when Castiel is too tapped out getting himself into bullshit messes and I have to swoop in and pick up the slack. Did you ever think I was _sick_ of it? That I have better things to do? Or that I just _don’t give a flying fuck_?”

“Guess what! You idiots wanted me to run Purgatory, right? Well, that’s what I _should_ be doing! I should’ve just snapped that piece of shit demon’s neck at first-fuck up, so don’t want my advice? Don’t take it. I’m the only one here who knows what the fuck I’m talking about, so go ahead and hop into Deano's dreams. But you won’t have me to cry to when someone ends up dead. I should’ve remembered I don’t _need_ to be here, that I don’t owe you _anything_. You’re just a headache I don’t have time for anymore,” Gabriel raised his hand to snap himself out of there, and would have, if he didn’t hear a voice from behind him.

“G-Gabe?”

Sam was staring at him from the doorway, nearly falling over from exhausting and wide eyed. “I-I felt you were upset. It woke me up and I needed to get to you.”

“Upset, huh?” Gabriel let out a humorless chuckle. “You’re tired, Sammy. Go back to bed.”

“No!” Sam charged at him, with a slight stagger in his step, until he was face to face with the angel, gripping his shoulders. “Did you mean it? You can’t hold these things in, you need to _talk_ to me-”

“You know I love you,” Gabriel grabbed Sam’s wrist, but didn’t make eye contact, “But I know your priority is here, with your brother. I’m not stupid enough to think it’s me. I wanted to believe, tried to fool myself, but I know better. I’m going back. I hope things work out for you.”

“Gabe, stop, you can’t-” Sam’s eyes were pleading, and he fought against the other man pushing his hands away. “You _can’t_ leave me-”

Then, Sam didn’t _have_ anything to fight _against_. The archangel disappeared into thin air, and Sam tumbled to the ground. His looked around the room, hoping desperately he was still there, but all he saw was Charlie in Jo, flabbergasted, staring at him. He couldn’t get up, his body was too heavy and he felt like he had been stabbed in the heart.

“Sam-” Charlie rushed over and knelt next to him on the ground, where Jo quickly followed.

He stared at her, his breathing speeding up and he felt as though he was going to hyperventilate. Gabe _couldn’t_ be gone… he _couldn’t_ … _why_ would he leave him… why would he… things had seemed all right… well, not all right, but they were _getting_ there… how could he…

Sam fell into Charlie’s open arms and let his body completely sink into her, while Jo rubbed his back.

What had happened?

Why was _everything_ falling apart?

\-----------

Gabriel stomped through the building he had known as home through the last few years and ignored every look from his staff before he reached his room. Well, he _would_ have reached his room, if he hadn’t been stopped by Benny, who was in the hallway and instantly called out to him.

“Gabe! What’s happening on Earth? What happened with Dean?”

“Don’t know. Don’t care.” He attempted to dismiss him, but Benny stepped in front of his path.

“You can’t expect me to hold one of my _friends prisoner_ , disappear with ‘em and _not_ tell me what _happened_ ,” he crossed his strong arms and raised an eyebrow. “Gabriel? What happened with Dean?”

“Comatose.” He shoved passed Benny with more force than necessary, which left the vampire stumbling to stay up right. “Who knows if he’ll wake up. Now fuck off.”

Benny watched him, incredulously but wasn’t finished yet. He followed the man, right on his heels, demanding, “Not wake up? _Why_ is he comatose? Was he injured? Was there some kinda battle? What’s going on?”

Gabriel spun around, and a field of rage _pulsed_ around him. “What don’t you understand about ‘fuck off?’ That’s an _order_. You want to know so bad? Head topside. I don’t give a shit, just get the hell away from me.”

All the man could do was blink, but then he nodded slowly. He knew not to argue when it got to this point. Only thing was… he had _never_ seen Gabriel _get to this point_. Which piqued his interest even more. If he wanted to get answers, he would have to get them _himself_. Benny couldn’t afford to get smote, and didn’t trust his friend to hesitate right now. Maybe he  _would_ need to head topside, after all.

\----------

The two women had no idea _what_ to do.

If there was one thing they hadn’t anticipated, it was Gabriel blowing up and leaving. Maybe they _had_ taken advantage of him? Castiel was powerless, a wreck, and Gabriel was the only person who could get through to him. Sam was no better off - after the women had brought him back to bed, and tucked him underneath the covers, they tried to pretend they didn’t hear the sobs coming from _Sam and Gabriel’s_ room.

The only thing they _could_ do was give everyone space. They were silent, as they joined Bobby and Ellen in the main room and took seats, side by side, on one of the couches.

“What’s got you two down?” Ellen looked up from a book she was reading and raised an eyebrow. “Looks like you’ve been through the ringer.”

“ _We_ have?” Jo huffed. “ _We’re_ in fantastic shape, if you could believe that.”

Ellen closed the book and set it on her lap, as she cautiously asked, “Do I even _want_ to know what that means?”

Charlie and Jo exchanged looks.

“We’re out an archangel. Dean’s trying to kill himself, inside his head. Cas and Sam are probably gonna die of heartbreak,” Charlie bit her lip. “That about covers it, right, babe?”

“Yep,” Jo leaned over and rested her head on Charlie’s shoulder. “So. That’s the latest. What about you guys?”

Bobby and Ellen, bless their hearts, just nodded and shrugged.

“Ellen just cooked up a damn good meatloaf. You want any?” Bobby stood up before anyone could answer, “Comes with a side of whiskey.”

“God, _yes_ ,” Jo groaned. “Anything to distract us right now.”

“You guys eat up. Bobby ‘n I’ll try to figure something out,” Ellen gave them a tight smile, “You two’ve done _more_ than enough today.”

As much as Charlie wanted to protest, Jo _knew_ this _wasn’t_ a suggestion from her mother - this was an _order_. Between the two, Bobby would be able to figure out some kind of way to get through to Dean, and Ellen _may_ be threatening enough to get people (and angels alike) to pull their heads out of their asses. Or, at least, give them ideas and a head start. The girls were numb, and needed something mindless. Meatloaf and whiskey sounded like the _perfect kind_ of mindless.

\--------

When Gabriel _finally_ slammed the door, once inside his quarters he noticed a few things that were _off_. Yes, it was true he hadn’t seen spending much time in there, but no matter how much he was gone, there was no excuse for the first thing he noticed. Before he even flicked on the light, he mused out loud:

“Huh. Didn’t know the maids got a new ‘sulfur air freshener’ while I was gone. Can’t say I like it.”

Of course, as soon as the room was lit up, Crowley was grinning at him from the puffy zebra-print chair in his room. “Hello, love.”

Gabriel pulled off his jacket and rolled his eyes, “Guess I’ll never have the chance to relax today. What do you want? Bitches chase you all the way outta Hell and you’re looking for a new safe house? Who’s to say _this_ is safe?”

He stretched out and crossed his legs, “A little birdie told me you gave the Demon Winchester _quite_ the tongue-lashing. And not in the sexy way. I can’t help but feel we may have common enemies now - in the way of the bitches who think they can play dress-up and stage a lesbian coup d’etat.”

The angel threw himself on his bed with a groan, and bounced up and down a little, “You _know_ they were _my comrades_ in the Underground, when _you_ were public enemy numero uno with the big bad Trilogy, right? What makes you think I’d have a problem with them taking over hell,” he mused aloud.

“Because over the years, have you had a single issue with the way _I’ve_ ruled Hell?” Crowley challenged. “How do you know _they_ won’t be problematic? Isn’t it better to have the devil you know, and find acceptable, than throw a wrench in the machine?”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow, but before he could say another word, the demon smirked widely and added:

“Besides. I know you have a niggling little desire for _just desserts_ , and wasn’t their blood-lust the thing that tempted the poor Squirrel? Would you let them get away with that, with potentially hurting your _brother_ , and rising to a position of equal power to him and yourself?”

The archangel thought it over. He _really_ thought it over.

Crowley was _right_.

He, himself, was a creature of revenge, and those bitches had it coming, no matter _what_ kind of past he had shared with them.

“I’m listening.” A wide grin spread across his face, “Tell me your plan, oh ye King.”


	12. Wills and Ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _They couldn’t wait, not any longer. They’d been discussing it, toying with the idea and now Cas felt as if there wasn’t a choice. He couldn’t spend his days watching the one person he cared about more than anything wither away. Not when there was a way to save him, no matter how stupid, set out in front of them._
> 
> _Yes. It was decided._
> 
> _He looked up at Charlie, who was in front of him scribbling into a notebook._
> 
> _“I need to do it.”_
> 
> _Her chin jerked up and her eyes were wide when they locked with his. She didn’t respond immediately, she simply stared, as if she could delve deeper into his words than what was on the surface. Of course, she was against it, she hoped things worked themselves out in time._
> 
> _She exhaled sharply and nodded, “All right. I’ll round up the stuff for the dream walking.”_

All right, so maybe Gabriel wasn’t good at following plans. It was because his own mind worked overtime and he just liked his _own_ plans better. Sue him. So when he told Crowley to sit tight, the King of Hell was not very happy.

“What do you mean ‘sit tight?!’ So one of your bloody monsters could get the jump on me when I least expect it?” He snapped and then jumped to his feet, “I’m going to amass my followers, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“Actually, bucko,” Gabriel snapped his fingers and a Devil’s Trap immediately circled around the demon, “I _can_. Do you want my help or not? Because your shitty attitude is really screaming ‘ smite me, Gabriel, smite me,’” he mocked in a heavy accent before he pulled on his coat. “You gonna be a good little chap?”

He didn’t respond with words - the death glare was more than enough.

Gabe waved his fingers with a “toodles,” and vanished.

Crowley was kicking himself for appearing to the Archangel in his own domain of Purgatory. He should have at least summoned him on Earth. This was a terrible miscalculation on his part, and the Devil’s Trap (which had been rudely constructed outside the range of his chair) would leave him standing here for god knows how long.

This was shaping up to be a terrible day…

\-----------

There wasn’t much debate in Benny’s mind about whether or not be was going back to Earth. Andrea said she’d stay behind and take care of his duties, because his girl was wonderful like that. The vampire didn’t know what Gabriel was up to, because he hadn’t heard a peep from the Archangel since his tirade landed him inside his own headquarters in a time out. Yeah, Benny could see him (or rather _feel_ him) powering back up - he was weaker when he came back from Earth, but still stronger than anything in all four planes.

Now, Benny needed some answers.

He headed to the porthole where the link between worlds was located.

Before Gabriel had taken over Purgatory, Benny would have needed to fight tooth and nail to get through. The land of monsters was a cruel place, there was no mercy as they fought against each other, but Benny had somewhat of a free pass - being one of Gabriel’s men. He was one of the few who the monsters scurried away from, bowed down to, instead of coming at him with a machete - _that_ was the normative greeting.

Others of Gabriel’s guard were standing watch in front of the porthole and gave Benny a questioning look. When he told them his business, they stepped aside and he dove right in.

Unfortunately, when Benny found himself on his back, wind knocked out of him and staring at the night sky, he wasn’t sure which way to go…

He overlooked the fact that he didn’t have Gabriel’s powers and he couldn’t simply snap his fingers and appear wherever the hell he wanted. But then Benny remembered… there were angels here.

So he did one of the most awkward things he had to do in his life…

He shuffled up from his prone position on the ground, got to his knees and clasped his hands.

What a sight he must have been - a vampire, praying to the angels to help locate his friends on Earth because he forgot to bring a map? There had to be a punch line in there somewhere…

Apparently, the servants of God had impeccable customer service, because Hannah slipped right into existence, directly in front of him.

She tilted her head with a fond look on her face and said, “Benny, I haven’t seen you since the Rebirth. How have you been?”

With a wide smile, Benny got to his feet. Hannah was one of his favorite people Underground during the Trilogy’s rule. He’d helped her out quite a bit when she was frustrated about losing her strength from the Fall and they fell into an easy camaraderie. She was also one of the people who vouched for his character when Castiel was hesitant to allow him to fight in the final battle above ground. Needless to say, he was excited to see her.

“I’ve been doin’ good. Purgatory’s nice this time’a year. How about yourself?”

Her look of happiness faded to one of sorrow. “We’ve been… having a lot of problems here.”

“Problems with Earth? Heaven?” Benny quickly asked and approached her. “Is there anythin’ I can do to help?”

“Problems with Dean Winchester,” she reached out to take his hand. “I heard you were watching his demon half while the merging ritual was being prepared?”

“Aye,” he nodded, “Could you take me to them?”

She squeezed him within her grasp, and in a flash of light, they were out of the forest.

\----------

When Benny arrived, Charlie and Jo took it upon themselves to tell him the story.

The vampire didn’t know what he was getting himself into - but this was _not_ it.

He tried to remain as passive as possible, but it was hard to control his face. While he didn’t interject words, he found himself huffing and grunting, unable to keep everything under wraps. The girls didn’t blame him one bit - this was personal to all of them. They tried to be clinical about the whole thing, but it had been seven days, and nothing was getting better.

They were all nervous, on the edge of their seats and waiting for _something_ that may never happen…

They welcomed Benny to stay, mentioning they had a surplus of blood bags for a snack if he couldn’t tackle a deer in the woods. There was one person who the vampire felt he needed to talk to…

While Benny and Sam hadn’t necessarily forged a relationship, they had one huge thing linking them together. Or rather... an Archangel - Gabriel.

“Hey, brother.”

Sam visibly twitched when the vampire called him that. It reminded him of Dean all over again, not just because of the word, but because when Sam thought of Benny? He considered him to be Dean’s friend, and not his.

The human looked up from the book he was reading and asked evenly. “Can I help you?”

Benny didn’t lack tact, he considered himself to be a gentleman, but he knew people like Sam. They only responded to being cornered. Even though he felt bad about it, he plopped himself in the chair directly across from him and asked, “How’ve you been holdin’ up?”

“Fine.”

“I know that’s not true.”

“Benny,” Sam’s voice warned. “I’m not in the mood for a heart to heart.”

“’m not trying to break out the waterworks, Sam. Jus’ wantin’ to see if you were all right.” He paused for a second before he finally decided to add, “Gabriel’s all tore up about this. Came into Purgatory ona rampage.”

“Yeah, he was on a rampage, all right.” He looked back down at the book he was reading. “If that’s it-”

“Don’t be hard-headed,” Benny finally snapped. “The two’a you are meant for each other. I don’t know where I’d be without Andrea, and what you ‘n Gabe have is just as special. Don’t let pride get in the way, you take him down a notch. Yer the only one who can.”

“I don’t need your relationship advice,” Sam’s voice took a more heated tone. “He left! That’s the end of it. Now if you could leave, too, that’d be great. I’m doing shit and I don’t need you to distract me.”

Benny shook his head and snorted, “Whatever you say, brother.”

“Don’t call me that,” he hissed. “In case you forgot, I’m losing my brother. Fuck off.”

The vampire stood up with a deep breath. He didn’t blame Sam for lashing out, he dove into a giant heap of turmoil, and while he couldn’t fix everything... he could _try_. He could try to _help_ , at least. These were his friends, and he wasn’t about to give up that easily.

\----------------------

It wasn’t a matter of his body wasting away. They had enough cords and needles sticking into Dean to keep him alive, possibly longer than the rest of them - granted someone was here to change the bags. While atrophy posed a problem, Castiel downright _refused_ to let it get to that point.

He wouldn’t.

He couldn’t.

He’d let himself dream, night after night, and after a full week without seeing nor feeling a fleeting wisps of energy... he was slowly being overwhelmed by _fear_. He imagined the worst… he couldn't think of a single positive reason for the lack of connection. Not a single fucking one.

What if the two halves could engage in a civil war?

Would the outcome be only the _demon_ waking up, if victorious? Or the human finally getting the death he longed for if _he_ made it out alive?

They couldn’t wait - not any longer. They’d been discussing it, toying with the idea, and now Cas felt as if there wasn’t a choice. He couldn’t spend his days watching the one person he cared about more than anything wither away. Not when there was a way to save him, no matter how stupid, set out in front of them.

Yes. It was decided.

He looked up at Charlie, who was in front of him scribbling into a notebook.

“I need to do it.”

Her chin jerked up and her eyes were wide when they locked with his. She didn’t respond immediately, she simply stared, as if she could delve deeper into his words than what was on the surface. Of course, she was against it, she hoped things worked themselves out in time, but what if Dean had found a way to hide? Hide forever in the dark corners of his own consciousness? Something needed to be done.

She exhaled sharply and nodded, “All right. I’ll round up the stuff for the dream walking.”

It had to be done. While angels could visit a human’s dreams, they couldn’t reach out and have the physical effect that came with the ritual of the Dream Root. It wouldn’t be enough to just ‘appear,’ to simply skate across the surface. He needed to get inside Dean’s head - get as deep as he could. It was messier this way, there could be consequences, but bringing tangibility to the human’s mind was the only thing it would work. It was all or nothing now.

“Thank you.” And he _meant_ it. Some people would have fought tooth and nail against him, Charlie knew better. He’d find a way, no matter what, and if they could swing it with the least amount of work and metaphorical bloodshed? So be it.

\------------------

Sam was honestly just waiting for it.

Since he was alone (it tore him up every single fucking day) he’d taken it upon himself to create a library of sorts. They had enough books from angel scribes and knowledge the hunters carried, but spell components?

The man felt obligated to pick up where Gabriel left off.

He felt responsible, in a way… and he knew better than anyone how stubborn and prideful Gabriel was. And it petrified him.

There was a very real possibility he’d never see him again.

Sam’s lifespan in the eyes of an Archangel?

The blink of an eye.

It was no time at all for Gabe to hold a grudge - not in the grand scheme of things.

Which was why he was cataloging supplies.

He’d been working closely with Hannah, who’d stepped up in Castiel’s absence. They went through some basic spells - summonings, blessings, and whatnot (as well as her own bank of knowledge) to figure out what were the most common and well-loved items out of the bunch.

Needless to say, there was a whole lot of blood and salt in the pantry. And you choked on sage as soon as you walked in.

Sam was busy (alphabetically) sorting some of the more abstract items - the things that went into hex-bags, when Castiel came charging in.

He raised an eyebrow the second the man demanded, “I need the African Dream Root.”

“Shit-” he was breathless, because he knew what this meant.

They were doing it.

They were really, _really_ doing it.

They were _finally_ going to save his brother.

However, Castiel…?

He looked rough. He looked frantic. He was pale - he rushed his steps and his words and his urgency overpowered any rational thinking he would use during the dream walking. Sam had witnessed people fail like this before. Castiel’s decision? It was an impulsive one.

Being impulsive was what got people killed.

The angel didn’t have a game plan - he was diving in headfirst and hoping for the best.

This was his _own_ river to jump into. His own way to save Dean, even if he had to sacrifice himself to do it. Sam recognized this face all too well, it was the face of a desperate man who'd willingly give his life for another.

And he couldn’t let that happen.

What kind of world would Dean want to live in without Castiel?

“Sam!” Castiel roared, as the man in question stood frozen in his tracks.

He gulped once, and nodded his head, “Yeah, it’s just over here.”

The show he put on while he dug through a shelf of jars was just that. A show.

Castiel couldn’t see him cut his palm.

However… Sam _did_ pull out the African Dream Root.

But before handing it over to Castiel, he looked upon the angel with sincere apology in his eyes and whispered, “Cas, I’m sorry.”

His eyes widened impossibly large as Sam flashed his bleeding palm, and quickly slammed it down on the angel banishing sigil.

In a bright flash of light, Castiel was gone.

Sam took a deep breath. He needed to center himself - he needed to be more focused and have his head in the game because he couldn’t be another Cas.

If anyone was going to save his brother, it was going to be _him_.

He nodded at the end of his pep talk, curled his arm around the glass jar and walked to Dean’s room in long, confident strides.

Sam needed to get this done before the angel could return.

\------------------

“Hey Sam!” Charlie greeted as she rolled in a gurney and set up for the dream walking. “Have you seen Cas anywhere?”

“All right, we don’t have much time. You need to listen close, because none of this is up for discussion,” Sam prefaced, a dark tone in his voice as he set the jar on the bedside table. “Cas isn’t doing this. It’s going to be me. I sent him packing to God knows where, and he’s going to be fucking pissed when he’s back. But you and I both know he’s in no condition to do this with a clear head. He's not thinking, he's ready to go kamikaze if he needs to. So _I_ need to do _something_ , and I know Dean. Sure, he wouldn’t _hurt_ Cas, but he wouldn’t _come back_ for Cas,” he pointed a finger at himself. “While there’s a chance he may hurt me? I have the best chance of convincing him to come back with me. He’ll listen, I can get him where he’s soft, where he's vulnerable. I _know_ what to say, he’s my goddamn brother!”

“U-Uh, all right?” Charlie had taken enough steps backwards during his outburst that she found herself flush against the wall - Sam immediately felt bad about it. “I mean, that makes sense. But the point is, you could get hurt. That’s what Gabriel warned us about and-”

“ _Don’t_ talk about him.” Sam’s voice had an razor-sharp edge. “I don’t give a shit. If he’s abandon us? Why do we have to listen to him? I believe in us. Isn’t that enough?”

The redhead nodded and slowly went to work setting everything up.

She agreed with his words.

Sam _did_ have the best chance of bringing him back.

She watched the younger Winchester simply stare at his comatose brother, his fists clenching and loosening while his jaw did the same. He was fidgeting, but attempting to stay calm. Which was more than they could hope for from Castiel. Charlie didn’t know if she should get anyone else - but she _did_ know if she made a run for it, now wasn’t the time. She’s need to make a move well after Sam was out or he would have stopped her.

After she finished preparing the last of the components, she gestured to the gurney, “Make yourself comfortable, champ, I‘ll mix up the juice.”

\--------------

Normally, it was more difficult to pinpoint a specific demon’s energy and fly on over to them. But Meg and Anna weren’t pure-bred demons - they had just as much grace as black smoke. What was worse? The fact that he literally wanted to end two women he had proudly fought beside back during the Trilogy battle.

Maybe his rage would have lessened (or heightened, who the fuck knows) if he were linked with either woman by the prophesy (not that it mattered, he hated Ruby’s antagonizing all the same, and wouldn’t hesitate to punish her if need be) but right here, right now? He couldn’t care less.

While Crowley’s plan had involved hiding out for a while, getting a fix on how much of Hell the women had taken over, Gabriel’s wheels had been turning. He’d laid low while the rest of his powers came back - he’d need to be at full strength to take care of this. While Anna and Meg were beneath him, the bitches were cunning and didn’t think twice about fighting dirty with both of their special talents.

Which was why he needed suitable revenge.

The King's plan had been all violence and bloodshed - it had been using the Archangel for his powers - like everyone else on the fuckin' planet did.

And Gabriel was so _sick_ of that shit.

But the Trickster in Gabriel?

He had a plan. The ultimate _just desserts_ for the bitches.

This was the only way the anger in his gut will be quelled.

He located the women and strolled through the part of Hell where they were currently taking a breather and cleaning their weapons. Both of them were surprised, but greeted him right away.

“Hello, Gabe,” Meg purred and gave him a little wave, “To what to we owe the pleasure?”

He reminded himself to keep up his guise and shrugged, “I had a little bit of a fight with the fam above ground. Was hanging out in Purgatory, thought I’d take a stroll around Hell to see what’s going on. Looks like you’re kind of demolishing it, huh?”

“There are more loyalists who pledged their allegiance to Crowley than we’d accounted for,” Anna states with a snort, wiping off her dagger, “We’ll get them all, eventually.”

“Yeah, about that - I’m thinkin’ no.”

“Excuse me?” Meg arched an eyebrow that was covered in blood.

“See, after the whole merging episode? Dean is rolling around in a pile of self-loathing and I’m pretty sure you bitches have a little something to do with it,” Gabriel shrugged and dug his hands into his pockets. A smirk tugged at his lips as he explained, “He’s playin' Sleeping Beauty. A kiss won’t snap him out of it, so it's time to change up the game plan. Not that I give a shit, because I quit the crew, but I want to offer a little parting gift to my former homies. I was thinking about offering you two.”

“What?” Anna jumped to her feet, “What are you talking about?”

“Just think! I’ll roofie you up, shove you into some dream walking, the Demon blackmails the human into waking up - fuckin‘ _finally_ \- hopefully takes out some sort of revenge and wham-bam, problem solved!” He clapped his hands together, and the two glowed with a soft blue light.

Neither could move, and they looked truly terrified.

“We’re gonna hop in there and get ‘er done.”

“Gabriel! You can’t!”

“I can do whatever the fuck I want,” he taunted Anna and winked. “Oh, and when you’re out, not gonna lie, Crowley will probably sneak back into Hell and clean up the slaughter. I like his way better down here, anyway.”

“You piece of-!”

Gabriel snapped and a gag appeared wrapped around Meg’s mouth, “Nuh-uh-uh. I don’t handle disrespect well. Had a hell of a week. Now, where were we?”

\----------

Although Gabriel was half-dreading seeing the faces of his comrades, he meant it when he hoped this was a final parting gift. He honestly wished for Dean’s recovery. He wanted Castiel to be happy. He wanted everything to be better. Then, they wouldn’t need him again. Maybe this was a way to get them off his back, once and for all. Some closure. Or maybe it was simply revenge on the women.

However, when he popped in and the women dropped to the floor like a bag of rocks, nothing could have prepared him for the scene in front of him.

Dean was looking more rough than he’d been last week when Gabriel saw him.

Charlie was staring at him with wide eyes, trying to spit out words that weren’t coherently forming.

And _Sam_ was laying on a gurney, knocked out cold, next to Dean.

Gabriel could see the concoction sitting there, mashed and stirred up in a glass, on the table.

He knew _exactly_ what this is.

It all lead to his inevitable breakdown, and he shouted, “What the fuck are you doing?!”

 


	13. Vermilion-Tinted Glasses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _When Sam thought about dreams, he thought about that haze-like feeling. That fog that only gave you bits and pieces of what happened when you woke up._
> 
> _This wasn’t it._
> 
> _He was walking through the city - the old city, before they had defeated the Trilogy and taken back the empire. He could see the smoke billowing into the air from where the demons would light their ‘playthings’ on fire once they became bored. He could hear the screams mixed in with the laughter. He could smell the burning flesh._
> 
> _The fight or flight sensation hit him, the moment he realized where he was, and ducked into an alleyway._
> 
> _There wasn’t a building out of place._
> 
> _This was it._
> 
> _This was the exact same city, before the final showdown._
> 
> _He had no idea where he would find Dean._
> 
> _What was worse?_
> 
> _Charlie had warned him - Gabriel had shouted at him right before abandoning them. If you died while dream walking? That was it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After quite a long wait: here's a nice, long chapter for you! 
> 
> Two Warning  
> 1.) Because of the length and me really wanting to post this chapter, it's decently unedited. All mistakes are my own, and I'll come back to it soon and give it a good edit.  
> 2.) It's pretty damn violent. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

If Charlie thought she’d witnessed an Archangel’s fury before, she’d been dead wrong.

It was pulsing off Gabriel's form in _waves_ , and her breath was caught in her throat. She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t _breath_ , she couldn’t respond in anyway - all she could do was fall to the ground and hope her palms caught her. If there was one thing she hadn’t been expecting, it was Gabriel’s return.

And it couldn’t have come at a worse time.

All of a sudden, someone was behind Gabriel, spinning him around and shaking him out of his trance and Charlie could _finally_ move.

“Brother, you were about to kill her!” Benny snapped at him, but with one flick of Gabriel’s wrist, Benny crashed into the wall - and then tumbled to the floor, unconscious.

“And it’s perfectly a-okay for everyone to kill Sam?!” He demanded, and stalked into the room towards Charlie.

Her entire body was shaking like a leaf, looking up at him as she shook her head in a desperate attempt to get him to listen.

“He didn’t give me a choice! Cas was gonna do it, and Sam knew he going on a suicide mission. He banished his feathery ass to wherever you dudes go, and ordered me to mix up the juice before he got back!” She tried to relay the story, but the fire in his eyes was something fierce.

Apparently, the noise had created quite the stir, because there were footsteps that could be heard, running down the hallway and Gabriel internally cursed himself. He didn’t want this to be a goddamn circus. He wanted to shove Meg and Anna into Dean’s head, get the kid back, and all would be well. But now suddenly, _he_ was the threat.

“Fuck,” he cursed under his breath and stepped away from Charlie and over to where Sam was laid out on the gurney. He took the man’s hand into his own, his jaw clenching while he hissed, “You just had to fucking do it, didn’t you?”

Seeing Sam like this? Putting himself in harm’s way? Gabriel _could_ have prevented it.

If he’d stayed.

Now, there were people around him, shouting shit about: _why Sam was unconscious, why Gabriel was here, did he hurt Charlie or Benny, why the other women were trussed up in the hall, where Castiel was-_

But the words didn’t register.

All that mattered, he realized, when Sam’s hand was in his, was _this_ was where he was supposed to be - and he was an _idiot_ for leaving this man alone. Of course, Sam would have done this - he was desperate, his brother was in a coma, and (Gabriel wasn’t trying to sound cocky) from Sam's standpoint: the Archangel he loved may have abandon him for good.

_He_ did this.

And he _hated_ himself for it.

He had no idea what was going on in the room, only that everyone had moved away from him - mostly out of fear.

But he knew what had to be done.

So, he turned to Charlie and demanded, “How much of that concoction do you have left?”

Jo had her arms wrapped around her girlfriend, protectively, and snapped at him, “What does it look like? It’s right in front of you.”

“How much of it can you make?” He grit his teeth, trying to keep his anger under control - but he didn’t like being threatened.

The redhead looked to the jar, and then took a mental stock of the ingredients, before countering with, “How much do you need?”

“Enough for three more.”

“Three?” Bobby echoed, apparently being drawn in by the noise, as well. “ _No one_ was supposed’ta use it to _begin_ with! Why the hell do we-”

“Meg and Anna are part of the reason human Dean is wallowing in guilt.  Ya know, because of his little jaunt in Hell, _and_ in bed with the ladies. Nothing says ‘I‘m not worthy‘ more than mass murder and infidelity, am I right?” Gabriel said ‘fuck it’ and decided to lay it all on the line. “They should make an in-person appearance and apologize for taking advantage of the demon, wouldn’t you say?”

There were gasps, wide eyes, but no one pushed words past their lips. It looked as though, ‘but they’re our friends and comrades’ were on the tips of a few of their tongues, but no one dared to speak those words to the Archangel now. Not when he was pulsing divine _punishment_. Others, looked at the women in the hallway with disgust.

That answered why they were bound and gagged.

Jo was leaning towards the second reaction (Gabriel gave her credit for having half a goddamn brain), as she began, “I’m guessing the third-”

“Is for me.” Gabriel confirmed. “Sure, I can hop into dreams, but I can’t physically change anything. I can’t get deep enough to where Sam is, to where he needs me to be. Even though I sure as fuck _never_ wanted to.” He couldn’t help that his grip on Sam's hand tightened, because they were wasting time. “Is there enough?”

“Yes.” Charlie answered without hesitation, “Let me mix it up.”

She still didn’t have her sea legs back, she was almost positive she saw her life flash before her eyes when Gabriel had come in, all holy terror on her. Still, there were no room for questions. She _had_ to do this, and she had to do it _fast_. Because shit just got real.

\-------------

Ellen shook the Benny awake (none too gently), then gestured for him to follow her down the hall (listening to the gossip he'd missed while he was walking), while Charlie went about mixing together more of the potion. Which greatly confused the vampire, since he went from being knocked unconscious to being dragged somewhere random within the time it took for Ellen to snap of her fingers. He hadn’t much contact with Jo’s mother, but he wasn’t about to ignore her. He'd heard rumors she was a force of nature.

Once they were out of immediate earshot, Ellen asked, “Is Gabriel gonna be able to do this?”

“Do what?” He repeated, hesitantly, his head currently throbbing.

“He’s not _just_ goin’ in there for Sam, he’s still gonna save _Dean_ , right?”

“Think that’s what he was plannin’ all along. Jus’ seein’ Sam was one step ahead of ‘em threw him off,” the vampire admitted. “Gabriel came here _to_ save Dean, I know that for a fact. Why else would he show up at his door? He had no idea Sam'd gone in on that mission. Things’r just more complicated.”

“He wants to kill them girls.” Ellen doesn’t ask, because she knows.

“Yeah, looks to me like it’s their execution.”

“Shit.” The woman scrubs a hand down her face, “I know I can’t do anythin’ about it, but I don’t even know if I’d change the plan if I could.”

“As long as we get Dean back?” Benny takes the chance to reach out and place a supportive hand on Ellen’s shoulder, “And Sam 'n Gabriel make it out, too? I’d say we’ve won.”

“Least we know those morons are still in love with each other,” she scoffs and shakes her head. “I don’t know _what_ to do when Cas gets back. He’s gonna be _furious_ , and we’re fresh outta Archangels to protect us from him.”

“What about a Reaper or another Angel?” Benny raises an eyebrow, before he shuts both his eyes for a moment.

Ellen hadn’t been expecting _Hannah_ to appear out of nowhere.

“You prayed?” She asked politely to Benny, with a small smile.

“How long does it take a banished Angel to git back, and how can we restrain ’em?”

Her eyes doubled in size and she began gaping like a fish.

“E-excuse me?”

“Yeah, ain’t ya glad yer part of the gang, sister?” Ellen smirked at Benny’s plan, then turned back to Hannah. “Let’s talk strategy.”

\--------------

Charlie could have been mixing up a goddamn Tequila Sunrise for as much as Gabriel was paying attention to her. His focus was on Sam, and it didn’t waver even _once_. It was as though he was communicating with him through his touch: brushing strands of hair off his brow, holding his hand - doing all those little things people who were truly in love did.

Which was why Charlie was hustling, but making sure every measurement was right - she didn’t know what she’d do if she lost Jo.

Up until now, Gabriel hadn’t been part of the equation, but she couldn’t even imagine what he was feeling.

Sam’s heart was still beating - but that’s all any of them knew, what was going on inside Dean’s head?

Whether or not his brother had found him? Whether or not the _demon_ had found him? No one had any idea.

She added the final ingredient and called over to Gabriel, “It’s finished.”

That was enough to snap him out of his daze, and rush over to her side, “You had enough for three, yeah?”

“Your wish is my command.” Charlie wasn’t even saying it was sarcasm, even if he’d scared the shit out of her earlier, right now all she wanted to do was help. “I’m guess you wanna force it down their throats?” She gestured to the women who’d been dragged into the room, who were still struggling in the corner.

It was futile, no one knew why they were _still_ putting up a fight. Especially after Gabriel nearly went on a rampage and took out his friends he _actually_ cared for.

“I’d love to do the honor,” his voice took a sinister tone, as he watched Charlie pour the concoction into three equal portions. “Taking into account my sleeping beauty, here, you know the sleeping and waking incantations?”

She nodded, after she set down the empty mixing jar and crossed her arms. “Yep.”

“What’s our time frame until wake-up call?”

Charlie chewed her lip, and didn’t answer right away.

Which caused Gabriel to advance on her, ordering, “ _Charlie_ , what’s our time-frame? An hour? Two?”

“Sam wanted to stay until Dean woke up.” She blurted out, all at once.

“What?!” Gabriel was almost speechless. “He didn’t have an escape plan? He was just gonna stick around, comatose, himself, until he was either _killed_ by the demon or _magically_ convinced Dean to come back?!”

“Stop yelling at me!” Charlie reached her breaking point and shouted, hands balled into fists at her sides. “Don’t take it out on one of the _only people_ who can help and is _willing_ to help you!” Her voice cracked at the edges as she continued, “I get it, you and Cas are having the people you love taken away from you, but they’re making up their _own_ goddamn minds about it and it hurts the rest of us too! It’s called fuckin' _free will_ , Gabriel! I’m sure _you_ , of all people, know a thing or two about that! Sam made the choice, himself! So you go on ahead with your plan, but I’m not going back on his unless _he_ changes his mind!”

By the end of her tirade, she was quivering again, because she was sick and tired of being backed into a corner. Sick of her friends being taken away from her, of their _own_ choice. And sick she was getting shit for _respecting_ their choices.

Gabriel watched her and slowly nodded. “I get it, fuck, Charlie. I’m sorry. I can relate. I didn’t mean-”

Apologies were not his thing, not by a long shot, but he didn’t hesitate to reach out and wrap her in his arms.

She was a bit shocked by the hug, but desperately needed something to hold on to, and clung to him for dear life.

With a sniff, she ordered, “You bring them back. You _have_ to, or…” she left the thought hanging in the air.

“I know, Char.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and pulled away. “I’m giving a time restriction on _this_ one. We’re going with two hours. An hour per version of Deano, all right? So neither of 'em feels like they’re getting gypped out of attention.”

“All right,” she nodded heavily, “I can do that. Do you want me to-” she looked over to the women in the corner.

“We’ll decide when we’ve saved Dean.” He directed his next statement to both Anna and Meg. “We’ll see if they’ve earned any redemption on the other side. If they make a move to fuck anything up, or hide from us, we slaughter them. If they help bring Dean back, we spare them.”

He stalks over to them, but remembers one thing, before he tosses anyone into dream land.

“Do we have supplies for more?”

Charlie looks confused, but says, “We do, for one more batch.”

“Toss out one key ingredient, something that’s hard to find. Something rare. The last thing we need right now, is Cas joining the crew once he gets back. It’s already a hot mess, we can’t afford to make anything worse right now.”

“But what if we need to dream walk again?” She was truly concerned about eliminating this option in the future.

“It’s now or never, girl,” the Archangel responded with a sorrowful smile. “Is this doesn’t work? Think our only chance, or last shred of hope? May be gone.”

\----------------

It wasn’t anything like Sam expected.  At all.

When he thought about dreams, he thought about that haze-like feeling. That fog that only gave you bits and pieces of what happened when you woke up.

This _wasn’t_ it.

He was walking through the city - the _old_ city, before they had defeated the Trilogy and taken back the empire. He could see the smoke billowing into the air from where the demons would light their ‘playthings’ on fire once they became bored. He could hear the screams mixed in with the laughter. He could smell the burning flesh.

The fight or flight sensation hit him, the moment he realized where he was, and ducked into an alleyway.

There wasn’t a building out of place.

This was _it_.

This was the _exact_ same city, before the final showdown.

He had no idea where he would find Dean.

What was worse?

Charlie had warned him - Gabriel had shouted at him right before abandoning them. If you died while dream walking? That was _it_. But it begged the question - could he die when fighting against the _demons_ in the city? Or did it _have_ to be Dean, whose dream he was in, to kill him?

He wasn’t going to risk it, either way.

Digging through his memories was hard. He’d only been to Balthazar’s twice - once for the final battle and before that, on their ‘field trip’ to see if he could -

Hold that thought.

Sam had been washed clean from the river.

But... what if he could get his old powers _back_?

What if he could control the demon?

Would it taint him when he awoke?

It didn’t matter, if the demon was the threat, who he knew was stronger than him, he _needed_ to gain the upper hand.

He surveyed the area, and knew he was two blocks away from where Balthazar was. Sam kept his steps light, as he dodged in and out of the shadows, attempting to get there. He _needed_  a weapon - his hand was begging for a knife in it's grasp, he felt helpless and vulnerable without it. 

His thoughts had him sucked into a dream-like haze of _his own_ , preoccupied with the unanswered questions about regaining his _own_ power, anticipation prickling off his skin by the mere thought, alone. He was so focused on that, as well as the layout of the land, he didn’t even see the body underneath his feet coming, until he fell - face-first - onto the dirty ground.

It punched the air from his lungs, and he scampered away, hoping he wasn’t under attack.

But he wasn’t - although, he _knew_ he'd bruised his forearms and scraped his cheekbone from being a goddamn idiot.

When he looked to see what tripped him, he realized it was a dead, rotting meat-suit from where someone had either exorcised it, or stabbed with an enchanted knife. Finally, once his breath slowed down to a slightly-normal rate he realized something. This demon was armed. He didn’t _need_ to seek out Balthazar’s residence anymore.

He crawled, low to the ground, hoping the thud of his tall frame didn’t give away his location, and snatched the sword away from the corpse. The vessel was wearing an officer’s uniform... which was _strange_. Were they at a point in the past where their group was headed into the final showdown? Where was he?

It didn’t matter, what mattered was that he now had a blade and -

“A _human_?” A voice cooed from the other side of the alley, flanked by two other demons. “So clean, too. Where have you come from, precious?”

Sam was up on his feet, standing straight up with confidence, and waiting.

He didn’t answer them, didn’t respond, but was ready.

A female demon on the 'leader’s' right, snorted, “He wants to play. Adorable.”

Sam had the advantage of never really getting the chance to fall out of practice. His time in the river was a blink of the eye, and his time on Earth, was nothing in comparison to how long he’d been fighting for his life above ground, and training constantly Underground. He took stock of how wide the alleyway was, and knew this would be no challenge at all.

He’d pick them off, one at a time - there wasn’t enough room, for the size of the blades they were carrying, to come at him any other way.

“Strong and silent,” the last demon commented, full of glee, “I can’t wait to make you scream,” and he was the first one to lunge.

Except, he fell prey to the exact same thing Sam had - the hidden body, and it caused him to stumble in his sprint.

Sam easily took advantage of that, and mercilessly swung the blade clean through his throat, until the demon was in two pieces on the ground. The resistance of the blade cracking through the bone of his spinal cord was _exhilarating_ , in a strange way, and prompted him to taunt:

“Who’s next?”

The leader of the group had his jaw clenched, as he looked at his comrade, gushing a pool of blood, mixing with the dirt on the broken concrete.

“You _rat_ ,” he growled, and approached slowly, not falling for the mistake of ignoring his surroundings. “Think you’re something special, don’t you?”

“I _know_ I am,” Sam was the one to advance on him, the adrenaline in his veins hot, while he jumped over the two corpses.

The demon blocked the first assault with his blade, and you could almost see the sparks fly as he wind-milled his arm and weapon away. But he left himself open for Sam to drive a _fist_ into his gut.

At the same time the demon doubled over, he got in a shallow strike that sliced high on Sam’s shoulder. However, the demon couldn’t do much more than that. Sam raised his blade, grabbed the hilt with both hands and drove it straight down - skewering his body, through his hunched back, and left thigh. Once he yanked the blade out - the demon toppled over, convulsing, while black smoke rushed from it's mouth, just in time.

The last demon, the woman, looked at him with wide eyes and turned around to run.

But Sam wasn’t having that.

He chased her and grabbed her by her ponytail, and hauled her violently back into the alley.

Although she was quivering, she showed a brave face and demanded, “You gonna chop off my head, too?”

“Not yet,” Sam’s eyes watched her with interest, while he tossed away all her weapons and slit open her wrist.

She froze in place and inhaled with shock as his mouth closed around the wound and he began sucking the blood from the gash.

Trying desperately to pull away, she hissed out, “You’re _sick_!”

It was then, he realized this wasn’t feeling off Ruby or Gabriel. He didn’t have to control himself or be careful he didn’t take too much blood from his comrades. No.  He was going to kill this demon, anyway.

The man’s hungry response - when he lifted up, mouth covered in a wet crimson that dripped down his chin - was, “Let‘s be more efficient,” and slit her throat to feed his bloodlust, instead.

\------------------

Meg and Anna woke back up in the city, without confinement, and with the memory of Gabriel forcing them to choke down the disgusting mixture.

The first thing Anna did, was rush up to Meg and demand, “Are you all right?”

She nodded and felt a rage brewing in her gut, “I _knew_ that was going to come around and bite us in the ass, sooner or later. I had no fucking idea we’d be the reason Dean wasn’t waking from his coma.”

Anna watched her, with sad eyes, and nodded. “Even if we weren’t given the ultimatum, I may have chosen to be here, anyway.”

Meg didn’t respond with words, but huffed a breath which was as good as an agreement.

She looked around and said, “Why is this the place Dean’s dreaming of? It doesn’t make sense.”

“It doesn’t. Usually, if people are stuck in a dream, they go to a place that would resemble their Heaven,” she begins walking, the other woman following her. “Unless, this is his penitence.”

The brunette was uncharacteristically quiet, and Anna knew why. So, she stopped her in her tracks, and spun her around so they were eye to eye.

“This isn't  _only_ because of us, Meg. Although we may have something to do about it, the demon spent countless decades, _centuries_ in Hell. Dean had to take all that in. While we contributed, we’re not the sole reason. We can try to fix this, all right?” Anna urged, because Meg still wasn’t getting it. “I know Dean, the real Dean, means a lot to you. And you feel terrible about how we took advantage of the demon. Disregarding Gabriel’s treats, let’s make this right. Because _we_ choose to.”

“Yeah-” her voice was gruff, “But where do we even fuckin’ go?”

“Can you get a read on his energy? You were part of the Trinity with him.”

She took a deep breath, and closed her eyes, “I can sure as hell try.”

Anna put a supporting hand on her shoulder and waited while she felt something stir inside Meg. It was her underlying power of demonic energy mixed with grace, reaching out and searching. The redhead focused on sending Meg some of her own, because there was an _entire city_ to search and she couldn’t do it by herself.

They were both painfully familiar with this city - as the two who were constantly sent on recon missions, so traveling through all the nooks and crannies was a huge span to search. Let alone the Capitol, where the Trilogy may still be in power.

Meg began shaking violently, alarming Anna, who reached out to grab her nearly dead weight.

“Meg? Meg! Are you all right?” She had to lower her to the ground, because the convulsing was too much to handle. “Hey, come back! _Stop_!”

Meg’s eyes flew open, tainted with the black of her demon side, and she gasped. “He’s at the Capitol. The demon is.”

“But… why?” Anna tilted her head to the side.

“I think his ‘piece of Heaven’ is getting revenge on Lucifer.”

\--------------

Sam doesn’t stop with one demon.

No, he’s _got_ to make this work. He doesn’t have to worry about ‘fulfilling a prophesy’ with _special_ blood from those he’s _destined_ to combine with, because power is power. He can feel it increasing by the second. Every demon he comes across, with the snap of his fingers, he can either burn them out from the inside out, or make them freeze in place while he feeds.

The demon claiming to be part of his brother? Doesn’t stand a _chance_.

He walks openly through the main roads, interrogating whoever he comes across, demanding if they’ve seen him. However, he barely gets words from their mouths because they're stuttering they’re so terrified. There are whispers of Dean being inside the walls with the Trilogy. And if this is a dream? He isn't sure if the demon has joined forces, or is killing them over and over.

The ones who talk can’t distinguish between the human or the demon, they don't know which one is inside the walls, because all they know is his description.

Which has Sam on a rampage to get there.

If everything happens, like it happened before, Abaddon won’t stand a chance against him. He'll get to her witch who erected the barrier _first_. Then destroy her. Crowley was never a problem to begin with.  If he is, Sam’s confident he can execute that demon as well, Purgatory souls or not. And Lucifer?

He’ll worry about him later.

He’s close, _so close_ to the gates when someone grabs his arm and hauls him back. He’s already calling forth the power inside him, ready to murder whatever grabs him - when he realizes it’s _Gabriel_.

The Archangel is looking at him with wide eyes and complete shock.

But he still manages to get out, “Sam, you got a little _something_ there,” wiping his entire hand across his own mouth as a demonstration.

“What are you doing here?!” He demands, angry to see him again, and _now_ , of all times. “If you’re trying to drag me out, so help me-”

“Yeah, actually. I _was_. But Charlie said she’d refuse, because it was your own goddamn choice and she was respecting that.” His voice was a low hiss as he took stock of Sam, from top to bottom. “What have you done?”

“Demon’s the problem, right?” He finally ripped his arm away from Gabriel’s grip, forgetting it was there in the first place. “You were so worried I’d end up dead, you were forgetting I had the ability to be stronger than _all_ demons.”

“At a price!” Gabriel’s voice was growing in volume by the second, “This trail I followed? This was all _you_?”

“Think I’m poor and helpless now?” He asked in a patronizing tone. “I don’t need you. Go back to Purgatory, we weren’t asking you for any favors. I’m doing this by myself.”

Sam didn’t expect to he hauled down by the Archangel, with their lips crashing together. There was nothing sweet about it, it was aggressive, like he hated every word Sam was saying - but he still needed him. He couldn’t help but respond to Gabriel in turn, opening his mouth and letting their tongues clash, as an addition to the rough nips of teeth.

It was Gabriel who finally pulled away, taking what looked to be a calming breath. “You may not need me, but I need _you_. When I saw your dumbass knocked out on that fuckin’ gurney? Do you have _any_ idea what it did to me?”

The human didn’t have an answer.

“This was the last place I wanted to be,” Gabriel narrowed his eyes, “but if you were here? Doing _exactly_ what I told you _not_ to? I don’t care if you wanna do this alone. You’re not. We’re bringing back your brother _together_.” He paused, and raised his hand to run his fingers along Sam’s blood-stained cheek. “And I fuckin’ hope this doesn’t follow us back.”

“I’m doing what needs to be done.”

“And I’m not leaving you.” He crosses his arms stubbornly, needing to see resignation in Sam’s eyes. “Because I love you.”

Finally, he got it. But it was mixed with a swirl of dark energy the Archangel could _feel_ from all the demon blood in his system, and he realized they needed to get this show on the road.

So he turned to point in the direction Sam was already heading, explaining, “I can feel the demon in the-”

But Sam yanked him around again and kissed him. This time, it was tender. It wasn’t a fight for power or spurred on by anger - it felt like a reunion, and his version of ‘I love you too.' Which Gabriel would take with zealous. He lingered there for a second, looking up into Sam’s eyes and seeing what he’d hoped. Thank god, he’d found him. And he’d die before he let this stupid idiot get himself killed on this mission.

“Zap us in?” Sam asked, finally without any aggression towards Gabriel, while his lips lingered just far enough away for him to speak.

“Yeah, yeah,” Gabriel kissed him once more, then snapped his fingers.

\---------------

Anna and Meg stopped so quickly, they slid across the stone flooring of the palace, right outside Lucifer’s door.

Because Gabriel and Sam suddenly appeared _right_ in front of them.

Gabriel stared them down without any words, and Sam looked confused.

“Why are you two here?”

“Good to see you’ve made up,” Meg snarked, but then realized the last thing she should be doing was talking shit around the angel. “I followed his energy, he’s-”

“Behind these doors,” Gabriel nodded. “These two are here because they’re cleaning up part of the mess they made,” he explained to Sam. “And warning, ladies, Sam’s all juiced up because he’s a fuckin' idiot and could take you out in the blink of an eye. I could, too, for that matter. Don’t try anything.”

“Oh my god,” Anna finally took a good look at Sam, her breath caught in her chest, “You’re… _You’ve_ -”

“Yes.” He answered for her, “Now, let’s do this - we’ve waited too long,” and pushed the doors open.

The first thing they noticed was the scent.

If someone tells you your olfactory system doesn’t work in dreamland? They’re _wrong_.

It was the scent of decay, of decomposing flesh, and it was rancid.

The next thing they noticed as they all moved into the room were _hundreds_ of dead versions of Lucifer, in different states of decomposition. The bodies were tossed haphazardly around the room, as well as limbs and internal organs. Sam nearly gagged when he stepped foot inside, from both the smell and the sheer brutality.

When they caught sight of movement it was in the far corner and the figure hadn’t noticed their arrival yet.

It was the demon digging (with his bare hands) into Lucifer’s chest cavity and snickering uncontrollably. He ripped open Lucifer’s jaw from the hinges, muscles and tendons snapping, then stuffed the Archangel’s own heart into the now-gaping mouth.

He was covered from head to toe in red (half dried, half fresh), laughing at his latest kill while he relaxed back on his haunches. It was only then, that he turned and realized he had visitors.

“I wondered how long it’d take for you to come,” he slowly rose to his feet, and kicked the body he’d been mutilating for the fun of it. “No Cas, huh? Doesn’t care enough?”

“Cares _too much_ ,” Sam corrected, that sick feeling in his stomach growing by the second. “If he were here, he’d do something stupid.”

“Like what?” The demon skipped over another three bodies as he approached them. “Bring me back? Kill me here? Still love me?”

While Anna and Meg took a step back, Sam and Gabriel took a step forward - showing they were unafraid.

“What happened?” Gabriel asked, the only one with an even voice as he looked around to the sheer carnage, “Last I knew, you were all about getting your humanity back. I call this a downgrade, dude.”

“He’s _not here_!” The demon roared. “I _can’t_ fucking _find_ him! And if I can’t have him? If we can’t wake up?!” He knelt down to the floor, grabbing onto the shirt collar of one of the dead Lucifer’s who’s had his face cut off, “I’ll take my revenge.”

He shoved the body back to the floor, and opened his arms to the scene in a grand gesture, “All of my masterpieces?” He chuckled and spun around in a circle, “ _This_ is what he had me do to _you_. All of you. Over and over. Until I didn’t hesitate - didn’t even bat an eye. This is why I can’t come back, this is why poor, sensitive Dean wants nothing to do with the world. This is _payback_ on Lucifer!”

“This isn’t real,” Sam choked out, a pain so deep inside him, knowing that this used to be his brother, and this was something he was transformed into. “You can make up for it, you can-”

“That’s bullshit, Sammy,” he smiled something wicked and twisted while he rearranged his grip on the blade in his hand. “Want me to show you?”

Before he could lunge and attack, it was Sam who raised his palm - shooting a blast of power that had the demon frozen in his tracks. Dean was alarmed, but then his grin widened even more when he realized, “Aww, you went dark side _again_ for me, little brother? How _sweet_.”

Sam turned his back, explaining, “That should hold him,” and escaped the room.

Gabriel ordered the women, “You watch him, if he tries anything-”

“We’ll tell you,” Anna said, her voice full of sympathy because she knew how much the scene in front of them tore Sam apart.

The Archangel followed Sam through the halls, until he could catch up with him.

“Sam, stop!”

“What did he mean?!” His eyes were wide, with the threat of tears, “Dean isn’t here? He _has_ to be here, there’s no where else, unless he’s… could the demon have-?”

“No.” Gabriel said, resolutely, wrapping his arms around him. “The demon’s gone insane because he lost his one chance at humanity. What we heard? When he was begging during the merging? That was _real_. There’s no way Dean’s gone he’s just… missing.”

“How?” He demanded, looking to Gabriel for answers that he didn’t have.

“I’m sorry, I have no idea.”

All he could do was hold him while Sam slumped down on the floor, trying desperately to get the images out of his mind, even though he could still hear the demon cackling and provoking the women in the background.

How was this ever supposed to work?

\----------------

When Castiel reappeared, he was a force fueled by fury and he himself was out of control.

He finally arrived back at their headquarters with demands of Sam on his lips, _before_ he saw the scene in front of him. Then, he was speechless.

Until Charlie saw him and began talking a mile a minute, saying, “Cas, I’m so sorry, Sam didn’t think you were in your right head for the mission, he didn’t give me a choice. Then Gabriel showed up out of nowhere and demanded to follow Sam in and the girls were hostages because they were part of the guilt with the demon and I had no other choice, Gabe was terrifying and-”

“You haven’t witnessed terrifying yet,” Castiel snarled in a low tone, as he stormed into the room. “I know we have enough, make me that-”

“We don’t, brother,” Benny said from the doorway. “Gabe made sure’a that. I’m sorry, but you can’t join the party.”

“You took that _away from me_?” He slammed his fists down on the table, eyes focused on Charlie who shrunk under his gaze. “How could you-?!”

“Actually, it was my idea,” Benny announced, to get Castiel’s attention away from the woman. “I told Gabe you’d be a _liability_ if you popped in there. Too many people to account for, and all. Didn’t wanna have’ta be babysitting ya’ll.”

The angel turned on his heels, enraged, and stalked towards Benny who backed away from the pure power he was exerting. It was comparable to Gabriel’s ferocity, and he wanted nothing to do with it.

Except, it was all part of the plan - when he muttered, “ _Now_ ,” and Hannah appeared out of nowhere, dropping a lighter to the ground.

Castiel froze when a circle of flames rose up around him and he spat out to the other angel, “Holy oil?”

“I’m sorry, Castiel,” Hannah said honestly, “Nothing good can come of you interfering, right now.”

His anger turned to helplessness and he collapsed down to his knees.

Charlie, along with Jo, who Cas hadn’t saw when he stormed, in walked around the corner.

Jo slowly said, “Cas, we really wish we could’ve-”

“Don’t speak to me.” He ordered. “Leave me and go about your business.”

His tone was final, and everyone followed it, besides Charlie who lingered just a _bit_ longer. She wished she had the right words to say, but she didn’t. She was caught in the middle, wanting to comfort him but knowing all of this was a giant shit-storm, who knew if they’d all make it out of.

Finally she turned the corner back into the room, and glanced up to the clock. Jo was there holding her hand as she did the math, and reconfigured her countdown. All she could do right now was sit and wait before she woke the four up. Every second that ticked by hurt.

\--------------

Cas was crouched inside the ring of flames, slowly losing it. What could he do? Was there anything? He couldn’t physically leave this spot but maybe - just _maybe_  - even though he couldn’t reach as deeply as those who were dream walking he could _try_.

He had to try _something_. Until now, he'd counted on falling asleep and hoping Dean would find him in his _own_ dreams. Maybe if he tried, while awake, to reach that deep level his friends were at, even if he couldn't interact... he could _reach_  or watch. There was no way he'd stay here, idly, _uselessly_ -

So, he closed his eyes and concentrated.

The heat from the fire, the stretch of the hallway, Jo and Charlie’s hushed voices from inside the room - all of it - fell away.

He was scratching the surface of a dream. But he could tell, he needed to dig deeper, just a _little_ deeper…

But - this wasn’t a dream that had fallen into the REM cycle, where his friends were. This was more of a _waking_ dream, one that bordered on consciousness and unconsciousness. Where all angels travel to without problems. The hard part would be delving deeper.

However, _something_ stopped him -

He found himself looking out on a lake, the feel of a light breeze tousling his hair, and the sight of leaves just beginning to change colors. Then, he heard the voice.

“Cas?” He turned around so quickly, he almost fell off the dock he hadn’t realized he’d been standing on, to see Dean sitting in a lawn chair, holding a fishing rod, looking alarmed. “No, _no_ \- you _weren’t_ supposed to find me.”


	14. Dreamland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“If I woke up. Me.” Dean began cautiously, “I’d see him every time I fell asleep. He’d be after me. Trying to merge. Who knows if it would work like you say, with only me waking up.”_
> 
> _“We could try it.” The angel said resolutely, “What if you did wake up? You’re separated right now. You’re surviving. What if we,” his eyes lit up and he tilted his head, “got word to the others to kill the demon?”_
> 
> _Dean stared long and hard at Cas curiously. “Even though it could kill me?”_
> 
> _“You seem stubborn and ready to die anyway,” Cas said ruefully, squeezing Dean’s hands. “Hold onto me. Wake up. Let’s see if this would even work. You don’t have much to lose, do you?”_
> 
> _There was a tug of a grin on Dean’s face as he chuckled, “You sure know how to shove me into a corner, don’t ya?”_
> 
> _“Always.” Cas offered him a small smile. “Don’t let go."_

“What are you doing here?” Cas’ heart soared at the sight of Dean, _his_ Dean, and not just the faraway feeling of his energy. The angel ducked forward and wrapped him in his arms. “I thought the others would find you, they used the African Dream Root, they-”

“That’s what I was counting on,” Dean mumbled into his shoulder. “I told you. I didn’t want to be found. So I was hiding here, in between. I thought this was the last place you’d look for me.”

“Hiding in plain sight, where any angel could find you without problem,” Cas mused at the man’s reasoning, because it made sense. Sometimes, Dean was too smart: he thought out of the box and Castiel cursed himself for not checking every avenue. Now, he refused to let go, he held Dean so tightly, the fishing rod clattered to the wooden deck. “Please, Dean, _please_ , come back.”

“I told you, Cas. I told all of you.” His words were fierce but he couldn’t help but melt into the embrace.

It felt like an eternity since Dean had experienced the sensation of touch, and while he felt as though he didn’t deserve it, his body couldn’t help but give into it. Castiel’s arms had always reminded him of home. The rough awareness of the trench coat against his chin, the warmth of the angel's skin, and the breath on his neck surged through his rigid frame and brought something inside him back to life.

Dean was at odds with himself. He fucking loved Cas  _so much_. But…

“I can’t live with the demon. With the things he’s done. I can’t live a life with all that shit in my head. At least when I’m here, I can pretend to forget. Pretend, and let it fade.”

“Dean…” Cas released him in exchange for kneeling in front of him, and he took the human’s hands into his own. “Your body is atrophying. We can only keep you alive on fluids, feeding tubes and IV’s for so long. I need you to come back to me because…” He took in a deep breath, “I won’t be able to live in a world without you in it.”

Green eyes met blue and there was nothing but heartache and pain lying between both of them.

It was like time stopped.

Like Dean’s little made-up reality had complete frozen.

There was no more breeze against the lake, no tell-tale noise of leafs rustling from the trees, everything had stopped. It punched the air from Dean’s lungs and reminded him that this was just a fabrication of his mind. A fabrication that was crumbling down around him.

Cas was the only thing here that was real. And the angel looked as though he was shattering into a million, devastated pieces (much like his fiction dreamworld) as he begged and begged.

“If you can’t do it for me, think of your friends. Think of your _brother_.” His voice was hoarse and pleading, his browed knitted together as he rapidly thought of everything and anything Dean had ever fought for - the words blurted past his chapped lips. “Right now, _four_ of our friends, your brother included, are inside your dreams. They're looking for you and have undoubtedly found the demon instead. They could _die_ facing him. If you were to wake up? If you were to come back with me, you could _save them_.” Cas was praying to Dean harder than he ever had prayed to his Father.

Castiel filled each word with every single ounce of emotion he could spare. Now that Dean was here? Now that he was in front of him? Castiel refused to lose him again. If he left without him, another piece would feel carved out of his soul, and he didn’t have many left to give. Cas knew he may not make it out alive if it wasn't with Dean.

“If I woke up. _Me_.” Dean began cautiously, “I’d see _him_ every time I fell asleep. He’d be after me. Trying to merge. Who knows if it would work like you say, with only me waking up.”

“We could try it.” The angel said resolutely, “What if you did wake up? You’re separated right now. You’re surviving. What if we,” his eyes lit up and he tilted his head, “got word to the others to kill the demon.”

Dean stared long and hard at Cas curiously. “Even though it could kill me?”

“You seem stubborn and ready to die anyway,” Cas said ruefully, squeezing Dean’s hands. “Hold onto me. Wake up. Let’s see if this would even work. You don’t have much to lose, do you?”

There was a tug of a grin on Dean’s face as he chuckled, “You sure know how to shove me into a corner, don’t ya?”

“Always.” Cas offered him a small smile. “Don’t let go.”

\----------------------

Charlie and Jo were checking everyone’s vitals.

Over and over again.

It was a constant loop.

Constantly hoping someone didn’t flat line. Knowing there wasn’t anything they could do if they did. Fuck. They were surrounded by unconscious bodies, crossing their fingers everyone came out of this mess alive. When Jo joked this was taking years off her life, Charlie hadn’t even laughed.

It was painful as the minutes counted down, they paced the room and watched the clock. They wanted the countdown to reach its end. They wanted this to be over. They wanted their friends back.

And that’s when _it_ happened.

Dean’s gasp echoed through the silent room and he shot out of bed until he was sitting up. He was clawing, trying to rip out the feed tube, and looked around desperately to where Jo and Charlie were completely shell-shocked in place.

It was finally Jo who moved. She ran the length of the room to help him before he hurt himself, and Dean’s first words were, “Cas?! Where’s Cas?!”

“Put out the Holy Oil!” Charlie shouted to Hannah in the hallway, and in a matter of moments the angel was charging in.

“Thank God,” Cas was cupping Dean’s face, kissing him over and over, “It worked.”

“What the hell,” Benny turned the corner with wide eyes, “What’s going on?”

“Dean hid from the Demon,” Cas explained, unable to pull himself away, his bafflement had quickly turned to awe. “Those Dreamwalking are where _he_ resides. I was lucky to find the real Dean on the edge of the Waking Dreams. Hannah,” he pitched his voice over his shoulder, “I have an idea.”

The woman rushed until she was close behind him, at his beck and call. After all, it wasn’t every day you trapped your friend in Holy Oil and they forgive you in the span of a half hour.

She was simply grateful he wasn’t holding any grudges for tricking and imprisoning him. “Yes?”

“The merge was necessary for their physical forms. We managed to resuscitate Dean without the demonic part of his soul. Do we really need it?” Cas finally looked away from the man in question in exchange for turning to Hannah.

“How do you feel?” She took another few steps forward and set her hand atop his head to analyze the energy inside him.

There was a sizzling of the lights hanging above them that caused everyone to jump in surprise, while Dean glowed from Hannah’s touch. Mouths were hanging open and anyone who wasn’t in the room was suddenly crowded in the doorway to see what was happening. Castiel was right there at this side, looking between Dean and Hannah, completely perplexed.

“Uhh,” Dean swallowed hard as he remembered there was a question, while he looked around the room, “I feel like shit. But that’s because everyone’s looking at me like I’m a fuckin’ ghost and I’m _really_ goddamn hungry. But I feel like _me_ … if that’s what you’re wondering.”

Hannah smiled widely and exchanged glances with Cas, “His soul feels complete.”

She leaned into what Dean had told Cas was his ’personal space’ and tilted her chin to the side.

The woman was completely fascinated and taken with the sight, while Dean was… _extremely_ uncomfortable. He kind of wanted to bat her away.

But this was good news, right? At least it _sounded_ like it, and looked like it, if Hannah’s eagerness and amazement was anything to go off of. Very little affect this angel, and she was completely entranced.

She sounded distracted while she gawked, but still managed to say, “The soul is an amazing thing our Father created. I believe since he was in the coma for such a long period of time, his soul was able to regenerate the missing pieces.”

“Like a fuckin’ lizard tail, or something?” Dean made a face and tried to duck away from the scrutiny of her gaze.

“Because your souls touched, you were able to see inside one another - there was stimulation. Even though you refused the become one, I believe it jump-started your own regrowth.”

“All that sounds _gross_.” Dean made a face, but then a shadow fell over him when he said aloud, “So I’ve got my own soul! Whoop-de-fuckin-do!  That doesn’t mean he still won’t want to fuckin’ merge _every time_ I close my eyes at night. He wants his humanity back. When I even _try_ for REM sleep, he‘ll be hot on my heels lookin‘ to get hitched. _Literally_.” Dean grumbled and looked at Cas, “I told you, this is _pointless_ , this is-”

“No.” Charlie shook her head abruptly. “It means we don’t need the demon! Hell, he may have spawned his own full soul, too. You may not even be able to merge _at all_.”

“We get word inside Dean’s head, Gabe can kill it. It may be a battle royale instead of‘a fuse now.” Benny understood immediately, his voice picked up in pace, because this _meant_ something, something _heavy_. Then he realized, “Wait. Why didn’t they all wake up when Dean woke up?”

“Yeah, what the fuck,” Dean looked at Hannah and Cas with wide and nervous eyes, “They’re _still_ inside my head? I can't even feel ‘em poking around!”

“Because only half of you is awake. Charlie may be right in her assumption that two souls now inhabit your body. The demon has no idea he can awaken by himself.” Cas guessed with an uncomfortable expression, his eyes down turned, “And since we’re out of African Dream Root…”

“You’ll have to be the one to tell them.” Hannah finished for him because she knew Cas wouldn't be able to complete the sentence. Then, she turned a very serious look towards Dean. “Can you do that?”

“Wait.” Dean narrowed his eyes, “Let me get this straight. You’re asking _me_ to fall _back asleep_ when you’ve been trying to _wake me_ up for God knows how fucking long, and skip on over to the place where the demon lives.” His voice escalated in intensity. “The demon. Who’s _only mission_ is to fucking eat me up after I found the _one place_ I could _hide_ from him? So I can hopefully find Gabriel to kill him? When I have no idea where the fuck Gabe will be! But the _instant_ I fall asleep, demon-me will _know_ my energy and come right the fuck for me?! And now, he‘ll realize his only happy ending is _killing me_ because he _doesn‘t_ _need me_ anymore!?”

By the end, he was shouting out into the room, his voice echoing off the walls. His frustration and rage was palpable. Dean looked around for someone to challenge him. Anyone.

They remained silent, until Charlie finally stepped up and said, “Um. Yeah. That sums it up.”

He turned to Cas and narrowed his eyes, spitting out, “You’re a dick.”

“You’ve called me worse.” He couldn’t help but grin a little, having missed Dean‘s fire as much as the rest of him. “Can you do this? It’s not only Gabriel you could search for. If you could find Sam, Meg or Anna, they could protect you or help you find him. I wish there was a way one of us could go instead, but _someone_ ,” he narrowed his eyes dangerously at Benny, “took Dream Walking out of the picture. I‘d take your place in a heartbeat, if I could.”

“I think we should clarify it was _Gabriel_ …we just told you it was Benny to get you riled up so you’d walk into that Holy Oil trap,” Jo shrugged her shoulders much more casually than the situation called for.

“ _Jesus_ ,” Dean snorted, “The drama I’ve been missing!” Then he stopped and asked, “Why are Meg and Anna in my melon?”

No one knew how to handle that one, because when Gabriel had 'announced it to the class' - _Cas_ hadn’t been there. And, shit, Dean knew _right after_ he‘d voiced it, then didn’t know whether he even wanted confirmation. Of course, it was Cas who innocently asked:

“Yes, why? Was it because they still possess their powers?”

“Let’s go with that,” Jo huffed under her breath, which Cas picked up on.

Suddenly, all the guilt, all the things he’d seen crashed down on Dean all at once. Sure, the memories weren’t living in his head, but he’d seen flashes. He couldn’t remember doing it, since they hadn’t _fully_ merged - but he’d seen the things the demon had lived - like it was on a movie screen. Yet, he was watching his _own body_ do those things-

And he knew _exactly_ why Gabriel had dragged Anna and Meg in. He knew Gabriel's brand of 'just desserts.''

He felt sick.

“Dean, are you all right?” Cas cupped his cheek and lifted his face until their eyes met.

“Just preparing myself for a possible suicide mission, is all.” He shrugged his shoulders in an attempt to shake off the feeling. Dean knew he had to put on a good face, he knew he couldn’t have Cas questioning him or he may break down. “All right. You ladies got any drugs to knock me out? I think all the sleep I got’s gonna keep me awake for a year. Need a little helper.”

Charlie opened a drawer and kept looking shiftily between Cas and Dean, wondering if he wasn’t saying it because there was an audience or not. But the redhead didn’t like the fact that he was going on a mission with the self-loathing thoughts brewing in his head.

Sam had sent _Cas_ away because he wasn’t in the mental state to save Dean. Now Charlie wondered if _Dean_ was in the right head space to save _himself_. And it terrified the redhead. But she couldn’t do a thing about it.

“You’re going to do amazing.” Cas kissed Dean’s forehead and lingered there. “You _will_ come back to me and you’ll never have to worry about the demon again. This _will_ work.”

He huffed a sigh and looked around at the faces of all his friends, as well as the limp bodies of the others. Now, it was bigger than him. Dean realized all these people were depending on him and he couldn’t fuck this up. It was a heavy weight on his shoulders, but so had the goddamn prophesy about saving the world. He'd managed that, right?

“Yeah. I can do this.”

“Ready?” Charlie asked with a syringe poised at the IV line still connected to his arm - the only thing he hadn't ripped off in his chaotic awakening.

“As I’ll ever be.”

“I love you, Dean.”

“Love you too, Ca…”

\-----------------

Gabriel had to drag Sam away from the demon and the disgusting slurs that were being shouted inside that fucking room. He knew the two women could handle it, but he didn’t want to put Sam through it. Not after everything.

No matter how they justified it in their minds, that terror still wore the face of Sam’s brother. It was still a staggering sight to the younger Winchester, and it stabbed him right in the heart. The sheer brutality inside the ballroom, the way the demon had been screaming, the fact he’d _completely_ lost his mind and they couldn’t find his real brother?

He could feel the intensity of all Sam’s emotions pulse through their bond, and there was nothing pretty about it. Gabriel tried to remove him as far away from the scene as they could, he tried to soothe him, calm him in some way.

But then, they stopped dead in their tracks when they heard a voice echo down the hallway, farther from the room the archangel had been leading him to.

_“Gabe! The Hellhounds!”_ It was… Jo?

But that _couldn’t_ be, Gabriel knew he’d destroyed the key ingredient for the Dream Walking spell. There was _no way_ Jo could have followed them here. In addition, they the fuck would _she_ want to? He would have expected it to be Castiel. Jo would have had her mother and Charlie holding her back, she didn’t have powers like the rest of them, even though she was skilled with a blade.

They almost began running because if she was in danger of Hellhounds they needed to-

The couple slammed to a halt. Because something _unfathomable_ happened.

Sam and Gabriel exchanged astonished expressions with dropped jaws. It wasn’t the sound of Jo screaming, under attack.

No, down the hallway, they heard a different echo.

It was _Sam’s_ voice, laughing. _“W-Wait! This is a Hellhound?! This thing is trying to give me a bath, not rip my face off!”_

Then a _different_ Gabriel saying, _“Knew you always wanted a puppy, Sammy, thought it’d be my grand gesture of love!”_

“What the-” Gabriel began and Sam covered his mouth with his hand.

Sam leaned forward because he _knew_ what was happening. Or, he had a _damn_ good theory.

Sam whispered in the archangel’s ear. “I think we’re literally reliving when we destroyed the Trilogy. When I was walking through the city, there wasn’t a thing out of place. This must be where _we_ were when the Trinity killed Lucifer. Where the demon wants to stay in the timeline.” He paused for a second, listening to the noises down the hallway, “Maybe the rest of the memory keeps moving on a loop? Because the demon’s memory of the fight plays over and over again? Don’t you remember this?”

Sam slowly removed his hand and Gabriel nodded, “Fuckin’ clear as day,“ he admitted, now that he grasped the concept, “Holy mind-fuck. It was when Crowley tried to fulfill the prophesy before the Earth crumbled by unleashing the Hellhounds on us. Because only _one_ from each group would survive, Ruby was gone, and _we_ were both Trifecta. Didn’t take into account Hellhounds love me.” He even had the nerve to wink, despite how thoroughly mind-boggling this situation was.

_“Do you hear that noise? Something‘s different-”_ was pitched from down the hallway, from the ‘other thems.’

There was alarm in Sam’s eyes, which Gabriel quickly squashed, saying, “I remember the play-by-play. They’re not hearing you and me. This was when the angels joined us in the fight, don’t worr-”

_“Which noise?”_ Charlie asked, _“I know you guys are all lovely-dovey with your devil pups, but I could’ve_ sworn _I heard something else down the hall, that way.”_

“Shit.” Now it was Gabriel to look alarmed and cursed under his breath, “All right, this part was _not_ in the script.”

The pair held their breath and waited. You could hear a pin-drop in the hallway, they were so fucking quiet, as they hoped to remain hidden. The shuffling of feet was the same, and if Sam remembered correctly, Gabe was right. They were about to find the angels had joined the fight, after their grace was returned from Lucifer’s hold.

They could hear heavy doors to the outside swing open, just as they predicted, and past-Sam gasped, _“It’s more than we could have hoped for-!”_

_“Hannah! You fuckin’ killed it girl!”_

The script was changing, _rapidly_ , because this was where she was supposed to bow down to him, and Gabriel was supposed to make a joke. Follow by Jo making another witty remark, while they commended her, and watched in awe as the angels took down the demons.

But _instead_ , Gabriel called out, _“Keep it up! I’ve gotta check something out!”_

Of _course_ , it was past-Gabriel to throw a wrench in the plans.

_“I’m going with you,”_ Sam’s voice insisted. _“Your juice is running low and I-”_

_“I didn’t say no, did I? I bet it’s nothing, c’mon.”_

Their feet echoed down the hallway, coming closer and closer, and the real Sam and Gabriel didn‘t know what the hell to do. _Fuck_ , should they head back to the ballroom where Meg and Anna were? Should they hide in one of these random rooms? Either way - they needed to act fast, because the sounds of running feet were gaining in pace and volume.

This was in Dean’s head, it had nothing to do with time travel and it wasn't going to change the _future_.

If this turned into a fight? That was something that could change _them_.

Gabriel grabbed Sam’s hand and tugged him in the direction they came from, trying to keep light on their feet.

But obviously, they had been found out, because the footfalls behind them increased in speed and now it was a goddamn _chase_. How ironic, they were running from the past versions of themselves, ones they could easily defeat - but what would that do for their mindsets?

While Gabriel wouldn’t have been bothered, Sam - _shit_ \- Sam _didn’t_ need this. He was already messed up from seeing and listening to the demon, he didn’t need to deal with the ramifications of seeing double.

It would be beyond unnerving.

The archangel was trying to figure out the best place to teleport them. because maybe outrunning them wasn’t the best idea right now. He didn’t want to drag them back into that room, and if he mojo'd them right outside it, their doppelgangers would end up passing it anyway. Did he want to move them outside the city?

Turns out, he didn’t have a choice.

Because past-Gabriel had just enough juice to pop up _directly_ in front of them.

They both slammed to a screeching halt, while _Sam_ tackled _himself_ from behind.

The Gabriel’s looked at each other, studying one another, the real one having nothing to say.

However, the dream-Gabriel had _plenty_.

He tilted his head with a, “The fuck-? Is Kali still alive? Is there another witch? What the fuck are you?! What do you want?!”

“Uh, just droppin’ in? Hanging out?” Gabriel tried with a nonchalant shrug, then looked down to both the Sams still grappling on the floor and sighed. “Gotta admit, that’s kind of _extremely_ hot. But can you two let each other go so we can at least try to talk this out?”

“He’s full of demon blood, Gabe! Not Trifecta blood, pure demon blood!” Dream-Sam had the other pinned down and spit the words out with disgust.

“You’re right, that _is_ hella hot.” But with a huff he said, “Let him go,” before deliberately forcing eye contact with his mirror image.

They stayed like that for a (painfully) long time.

Long enough for both Sam’s to stand up - even though there was some shoving and glaring involved - analyzing each other, before the Trifecta Gabriel finally decided, “He’s me. He has honest archangel grace.”

He wasn’t finished, and Gabriel decided it would be in everyone’s best interest not to move. So he allowed his past self to circle him, all while asking, “But the question is, and I'll repeat myself: what the fuck do you want? Are you from the future? Are you here to save us?”

“You’re doing that all on your own. We have another mission. So you get back to yours, and we‘ll be on our way.” Gabriel didn’t want a fight, not with their dream-past-war-torn-selves.

They were dangerous, they weren’t just fighting for their _lives_ , they were fighting for a _future_ and they had nothing left to lose. That was the most risky opponent. Especially, when you threw love into the mix - like he knew old him and Sam had. God, did he know it. There was no doubt in his mind that if they were to fight? They wouldn’t leave unscathed.

Jesus fuck, this was the _last_ thing Gabriel could have seen coming.

With an growl, the ultimatum was out there in the open: “Give me your grace. I‘m tapped out.”

“What?!” Sam demanded, rushing to his archangel’s side. “You’re going to _win_ this battle. You don’t need it!”

“ _We_ don’t know that.” His façade was mischievous and power-hungry, Gabriel was practically looking into a mirror.

Fuck, Gabriel should have expected this. Because he was cunning, he would have seen it (a powered up version of himself) as an _opportunity_ because he, himself, hated being weak. And if this person, who _was him,_ wished to avoid a confrontation? Of fucking course he’d give him an ‘out’ that came with a price. One that was heavy and un-fucking-fair.

“Sammy’s still strong, he‘s got all the Trifecta blood in his veins. We’ve got Hellhounds, we‘ve got angels we could sic on you. We could fight you if we wanted. Claim you’re pretending to be us to get our friends to 'lower our guard.' So you can sneak in and wipe us out. That you’re still bending over for Lucifer, even though we killed him. So whattya say?” Nothing short of a menacing smile crept onto his features. "Fair trade for a cease-fire?"

Gabriel’s jaw hung open, then he pronounced, “Wow. I am a _dick_ ,” turning to Sam, he asked, “Why the _hell_ are you in love with me?”

The true archangel took a deep breath, knowing Sam was juiced up, and he _needed_ to get these two assholes off his back as quickly as possible. “Fine. But yer not sucking me dry. I told you, we’ve got a mission of our own. I _can’t_ be powerless. _You_ wouldn’t _let_ you be powerless. Plus, I need to take care of Sammy.”

That was the first thing that caused a chink in the other Gabriel’s armor. There was a half-second waver in his larger-than-life confidence, and he looked at him with knowing eyes. Which meant they had a mutual understanding. Gabriel only hoped he took it seriously.

His dream form reached out his hand with a ‘come on’ gesture until Gabriel grasped it.

Both Sam’s watched, enraptured, by the scene and the way it effected them on a totally different level.

The moment was surreal, as an electric thrumming of energy overtook the room. Both figures were completely encompassed by light until they were glowing outlines that hurt to look at. Yet, neither man looked away. Each Sam could feel it, deep in their gut - the transfer, the way the energy traveled. While one felt energetic _liberation_ the other felt… emptier, more vulnerable.

The real Gabriel dimmed while the other glowed brightly, and eventually their hands were ripped away.

It was in this moment Sam realized just how serious Dream Walking was.

He could feel ever second of what just happened to Gabriel from their bond. He could feel the grace drained from him - just how much was _missing_ -

And it wasn’t a joke.

He’d _physically lost_ his mojo to a _dream-version_ of _himself_.

All of this was so goddamn real.

And that’s when he realized something _else_ … there was no way Sam was going to wake up untainted. He _would_ wake up with the demon blood in his system, he would crave it all over again, just as he had with Ruby. The _addiction_ , the desire for power and the _cravings_. There was _no_ escaping them.

Fuck. What had he done?

His mirror image would glance at him out of the corner of his eye, judging him, and now he was judging himself. He’d been an _idiot_. He’d been acting impulsively and now it was going to change him. What if Death came for him again? Because he was an ‘abomination?’

Sam had _willingly_ turned himself into a monster and-

“Sam?”

“Are you all right?”

He was alarmed that _both_ Gabriels were tuned into him, and he jerked to see they were both making moves towards him.

It was only then, he realized there was a cold sweat dripping from his brow and his breaths were coming out in short, rapid succession. He was hyperventilating and shaking. Both of them could see it, there was concern written all across their faces and it was a bone-deep impulse to be there for him, to make it better. Yet, it was so strange to see double, he flinched and tried to regain control over his traitorous body.

Gabriel aggressively shoved the other away, because that’s where he’d crossed the line, with a, “Hands off! You already took my grace, don’t you touch _my_ Sam, fuckwad. Go save the world.”

It was surreal - no matter what universe, dream or no, Gabriel cared about him so much. Which visibly pissed the other Sam off, and he‘d never witness what the others called a bitchface until right now. He would have felt bad, expect he had to keep reminding himself they were inside Dean’s head and it didn’t matter.

The doppelgangers turned their backs, with the other Gabriel teasing, “Nice doing business with ya!” before they were out of sight.

“Wow. I think I hate me.” Gabriel grumbled before grabbing Sam’s face and forcing his eyes upward. “What’s wrong? Something happened.”

“I could feel it. He _really_ took your grace.” Sam tried to say it evenly. “Which means I _really_ have the blood.”

“Which is why I gave him my grace.” He offered him a small smile, “Cause you can kick ass for the two of us, kiddo.”

“No, I mean… we’re real in here. And I knew that. But I didn’t know to what extent. I’m going to wake up a freak again.” Sam started panicking all over, “And it’s for _nothing_! We still haven’t saved my brother! We haven’t found him, we haven’t done anything to help him! All I’ve done is fuck things up further! Jesus Christ!”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Gabriel tried to calm him down. “We’re gonna save ‘em. I promise.”

“How can you even try to locate him now that your grace is gone?! That’s the only way you found the demon-!”

“Meg. She still had the residual-”

“Fine. We need to get back to them, then.” He yanked himself away from the archangel, and Gabriel let him.

“Sam, you’re gonna be fine. We’ll find him, all right? At least we know what place and time we’re in, and Dean should be in that room. He’ll be around. I know it.” He allowed Sam to walk a little ways ahead of him and spoke to his back, because he couldn’t exactly give him space. This was the best he could do.

“Yeah. Yeah, he’s around.”

A voice stopped them dead in their track.

Hell, it almost stopped both their heartbeats.

They both slowly turned over their shoulders to see the one person they were looking for. The one they couldn’t find.

And here he was.

Dean, the _real one_ \- not the demon, had his arms crossed, looking pissed off at the world with his eyebrows narrowed in a glare.

Gabriel studied him, because he didn’t want to get his hopes up - this was too good to be true. Who knew if this was another character inside the dream world, maybe the Trinity version of Dean? But... he didn’t have Meg’s energy attached, he didn’t have Cas’ grace, so it _had_ to be-

Sam took a much different approach, acting on impulse and his gut alone.

He crossed the space between them and tackled his brother in a hug, knocking them both so off balance, they nearly tumbled to the floor.

“ _Jesus_ , Sasquatch!” Dean huffed, the air knocked out of his lungs, “I thought you were trying to bring me back, not kill me!”

“Dean! Holy shit, it’s _you_! Where have you been?! Why won’t you come back, _how_ are-” he gushed and felt the sting of tears in his eyes as he looked at his brother, his _real_ brother who was right in front of him, after all this time.

“Deep breaths, Sammy.” He grabbed his shoulders and shook him. “Uh, Cas found me. I was hiding somewhere in-between.” He smiled slightly when he continued with, “But I woke up, all by myself. Hannah did a friggin soul-scan’a my head and mine’s fully charged. Said we don’t _need_ our souls to merge anymore.” He looked to his feet before steeling his resolve and looking back at Sam's hopeful expression, “I didn’t want to fall back asleep, come back here. _God_ , I didn’t want to. This is the last place I wanna be. But apparently _someone_ ,” he glared over Sam’s shoulder at Gabriel, “fucked up the last dose of Dream Root juice. So I didn‘t have much of a choice.”

“Why did you have to come back?” Sam looked at him with the confusion of a lost puppy.

“To tell you guys.” A victorious smirk finally tugged on his features, “We can kill the demon.”

\-----------------

“How does it feel? To know you two dumb bitches had a hand in this?” The demon taunted from where he was still frozen in place by invisible chains.

He’d been doing this for a while.

The tainted version of Dean had been attempting to bait them. Work them up into a fury that would bring them closer - maybe they'd land a fist to his cheekbone or a swift kick to his shin. He was trying to hit them where it hurt, enrage them so _he_ could possibly get his hands on _them_. Or toy with the women. That was equally as enjoyable.

While Anna remained stunned and looked around at the carnage, Meg had taken to leaning against the cracked palace wall, her eyes downcast to the crimson-stained floor.

The latter grumbled, “Do you ever shut up?”

“Nope.” He popped the ‘p’ in a way that reminded them of the old Dean. The _real_ Dean - not this hollow, sick projection dangling in front of them. “Haven’t had many to make good conversation with. Not like you’re much fun to chat with, but I’ll take what I can get.” He struggled a little, showing the confines of Sam’s work were still holding strong. “How’s my body doing? Still as dashing as ever?”

“You’re starting to look like the dead.” Meg snapped and glowered in his direction. “Charlie and the others are _barely_ keeping you alive since you’re comatose. You‘re a step away from decay, _jackass_.”

There a growl in the Demon’s throat but then something truly bizarre happened to muffle it.

His expression melted to a look of disbelief.

And then a twisted smile, alight with rapture, shone brightly on his blood-caked face while gasped, “ _Yes_.”

“What?” It was Anna who was bothered by this perverse change the most, and took a step forward.

Meg’s arm immediately reached out to grab her wrist and pull her back. “He might be tricking you, don’t go anywhere near him."

“ _Yes, yes, yes_!” The demon chanted over and over again, practically vibrating from his immobile place, “I can _feel_ him!”

The women looked between each other with confusion, until they came to the realization there was only one thing that could make the demon this joyful.

Or rather a who.

“Did they find him?” Anna hissed to Meg, “Can you feel him? His presence?”

The woman closed her eyes and tried to concentrate again - tried to reach out and capture that familiar bond they used to share-

But it turned out, she didn’t need to.

The doors swung open, revealing Sam and Gabriel flanking the sides of Dean.

The human they were scrambling to find, was now the one who had found them.

Anna gasped, a hand flying to cover her gaping mouth and Meg’s eyes were wide.

Dean was wearing a look of determination carved onto his face, while he stared down the beast who’s eyes flashed black and who’s smile resembled a shark.

“Hey, fucker!” The real Dean greeted, ignoring the women because he had tunnel vision, focused on the nightmare that had been haunting him. “So I just got the good news! There’s no need for you. It‘s time for a execution.”


	15. Schema

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I had a heavenly check up with Hannah, back in the world of the waking. Homegirl said my soul grew back all on its own. And it looks like you,” Dean took a few bold steps towards the demon, “are tied up, in the perfect position for me to rip yer goddamn head off.”_
> 
> _“No!” It was Meg’s voice that shocked all of them and snapped the group out of the surreal moment._
> 
> _“Fuck you!” Dean spat venomously at her, “You don’t get a goddamn say in this!”_
> 
> _“I know I’m not your favorite person right now,” she spoke quickly and raised her hand defensively in front of her, “but who’s to say he doesn’t just go to Hell? You’ve gotta soul, he’s a full-blown demon, but not just demon. He’s a demon you. We don’t know what’s going to happen when you kill him in your head. What if it’s not a real death? What if you’re giving him a one-way ticket out of your body and downstairs? We need to make sure he’s gone. For good. Not just sliced and diced!”_
> 
> _Gabriel hummed and added, “All right. I’ll play. Dream Walking is fucking unpredictable. What’s your gut telling you?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW, I updated much sooner than my usual six-month schedule! AND I have another chapter nearly finished, so the wait won't be long at all :)
> 
> A huge part of that is because of my darling [Kittenbot](http://archiveofourown.org/users/kittenbot/) for inspiring me AND beta reading this chapter! Thank you so much, lovey! <3
> 
> If you notice, we ALSO have an ending in sight! Crazy, right? Enjoy! xoxo

The word ‘execution’ was delivered with such relief, with a fine edge of loathing, it cut not just through the space—but through all those occupying it.

The demon hissed, “Of course you need me, you idiot, you’ve always needed me.” His eerie smile faltered for a split-second before he added, “The only one you’re fooling is yourself.”

“Nah,” Dean scoffed, then looked around—for the very first time—to the scene surrounding him, and barely held back a heaving gag.  “See, all this?  Isn’t me.  It’s _never_ going to be me.  I had a heavenly check up with Hannah, back in the world of the waking.  Homegirl said my soul grew back all on its own.  And it looks like you,” he took a few bold steps forward, “are tied up, in the perfect position for me to rip yer goddamn head off.”

Black eyes flashed back at the human’s and he bellowed out a fierce roar; the restraints vibrated like sound waves, but kept him frozen in their strangle-hold.  Dean quirked a smile and tilted his head, watching the demon’s rage escalate exponentially by the second.  He chuckled under his breath and taunted, “Now, where was it?  Where did I, or you, rather, leave The First Blade?”

“No!”

It was Meg’s voice that shocked all of them and snapped the group out of the surreal moment.  It even distracted them from the display the demon was putting on.

“Fuck you!” Dean spat venomously at her, “You don’t get a goddamn say in this!”

“I know I’m not your favorite person right now,” she spoke quickly and raised her hand defensively in front of her, “but who’s to say he doesn’t just go to Hell?  You’ve gotta _soul_ , he’s a full-blown demon, but not _just_ demon.  He’s a demon _you_.  We don’t know what’s going to happen when you kill him in your head.  What if it’s not a real death?  What if you’re giving him a one-way ticket out of your body and downstairs?  We need to make sure he’s gone.  For good.  Not just sliced and diced!”

Gabriel hummed and added, “All right.  I’ll play.  Dream Walking is fucking unpredictable.  What’s your gut telling you?”

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed your depleted grace,” Anna decided to say with a sorrow in her voice.  “Gabriel, you—”

“Shut up,” he growled at the redhead, with the fury of an archangel.

“…Gabe?”  Sam looked between the two, worry written clearly across his face, and pressed, “What aren’t you telling us?”

He was daring the two women to say it and they stayed silent, until Sam grabbed Gabriel’s shoulder and shook him, “Hey!”

“Ooo,” the demon cooed, watching the scene as the light bulb went off.  “While our souls may have regenerated, poor little Gabe’s grace won’t do the same, now, will it?  Sucks to be an angel.”

With wide eyes, Sam whipped around and demanded, “Is he right?!” having felt the game-changing amount that had drained from Gabriel through their soul connection.

The silence was answer enough.

“Why the fuck did you—!”

“You heard what he threatened us with!”  Gabriel threw his arms up in frustration, “The choice between battling our old group and possibly _dying_ , versus making a deal with Dick-Me?  C’mon!”

“B-But…” Sam’s mouth opened and closed like a gaping fish.

“I wouldn’t risk you getting hurt.”  He grabbed Sam’s hand and tugged, “We can’t do anything about it now!”

“We could go back!  Confront them again, make them give it—”

“He’s way stronger than me, kiddo.  We got no fighting chance.”  Gabriel sighed in defeat. “Like I said, you’re souped up.  You can handle this now.  You don’t need me.”

“What if…” Meg’s voice began barely above a whisper, but then she exploded with, “I have a plan!”

\---------------------

Jo was, more or less, support as Charlie continually walked through the room and obsessively checked everyone’s vitals.  No one said a word, because it was basically pointless.

After all, if someone died in a dream, they couldn’t be saved from the real world.

If someone was in danger or they seized up—everyone would be able to see it.

But, for some reason, it gave Charlie peace of mind.  It gave her something to _do_ , rather than feel helpless while she watched the clock tick, every minute more excruciating than the last.  That’s what her girlfriend had been doing.

They were in the final stretch, the final half-hour before Gabriel had ordered _everyone_ awake.

The scene was eerie, with five unconscious bodies just laid out.

While Dean was still in his bed with Cas holding his hand in the adjacent chair, Sam was on the gurney and Gabriel had slumped against the wall, by his side.  The women were still bound and knocked out on the floor.  It looked like a mission gone bad—but they were all there to serve a purpose.

There _had_ been twitches.

Everyone was holding their breath, waiting for someone to snap awake for some reason.

But it was Charlie who knew the incantation to wake them up.  She’d already taught it to Jo (and made her repeat it back about a thousand times), so they’d be able to wake everyone up twice as fast, once the hands of the clock locked on the correct numbers.

“Hey,” Jo finally stopped her continued routine and grabbed her hand, “It’s almost time.  Let’s just sit down, all right?”

“No,” Charlie responded immediately and shook her head.  “There’s…I can’t explain it.  I keep getting these _feelings_.  From Gabe and Sam.  Like, energies.  I’m worried, I—”

“There’s nothing we can do.”  The blonde’s voice was resolute with a harsher quality than she’d intended.  She followed it up with, “You’re gonna drive yourself crazy, Char.  You’ve been at this for how long?  I don’t wanna say you’re imagining it, but you’re not an angel or a demon.  You’re human, you wouldn’t be able to feel any shift in energy.”

“But I can!”  She ripped out of her girlfriend's grasp.  “I—Cas?  Please tell me you can…” but she knew it was pointless.

He was too busy hovering over Dean to cross the room and confirm or deny her findings.

With a huff, she darted out into the hallway and pointed a finger at her Jo, “I’m not going crazy!” then called out, “Hannah!  Please come in here?”

\---------------------

Gabriel had dragged Sam away from the group after Meg explained her spiel about something that might actually work.  Of course, the younger Winchester had been stoic through the whole process and all the emotions tingling under his skin felt to Gabriel like he was attempting to bury them.  Sam had gone numb and it was unnerving.

So, naturally, Gabriel had to remove him from the situation and pick his brain because this was one hell of a commitment—and it was laid on _them_.

They didn’t move far, the pair would still be within yelling distance in case, by some cosmic joke, the demon broke from his confines.  However, the archangel moved them into a room where no one could eavesdrop.  He doubted the rest of the team would even try—they’d have the decency to give them this.  Especially given what they were asking.

Behind the closed door, Gabriel found a chair to lead Sam to.  He went surprisingly willingly, as the archangel pulled up a seat next to him, close enough their knees bumped and he could hold both his hands.

“Hey,” Gabriel began in a soft voice, as his thumb rubbed circles against the back of Sam’s hand.  “Now’s the time to get it out.  What’s going on in that gorgeous head’a yours?  I’m game if you’re game, but I know this would be really, really, really fuckin’ heavy on you.”  Gabriel’s eyebrows were knitted together and he spoke with nothing but sympathy. “You can say no.  Notta one single person out there would judge you, if you did.  I’m serious.”

After a beat, and a weighted silence, Sam finally spoke up while looking at the ground.

“…Would it work?”

His tone was flat.  Much too flat for Gabriel to deal with.  He knew Sam had removed himself from this situation, completely, but if that’s what he needed to do so be it.

Gabriel followed suit, not wanting to rock the boat, then responded with, “Meg’s a smart cookie.  And she’s got a twisted mind.  No one else could have thought about this, and, as much as I hate to say it, I’m glad I didn’t rip her to shreds.  I think it’s the best chance we’ve got to make sure he’s gone for good.”

Finally, Sam looked up and met Gabriel’s gaze.  “Then it’s the best chance we’ve got to save my brother.  I’ll do it.”

This time, the archangel couldn’t deal with Sam’s answer because the lack of conviction and the pulse of defeat he’d felt had him gritting his teeth, and now that he had Sam’s undivided attention, he snapped, “Goddammit.  I know you want to save Dean, but you’re going along with this for the _wrong_ reasons.  I just know it.  I know _you_.  You’re fuckin’ pulling the martyr card more than—”

“Gabriel!”  He cut him off with a snarl, “I’m _already_ fucked!  I’ve already fucked up too bad to turn back now!  Meg wouldn’t have suggested this if she didn’t already know it!  And what’s more?  No one else fucking stopped her!  I’m not a martyr if I’ve gone dark side!  You don’t get to play the hero when you’re already part fucking villain!”

The archangel flew up from his chair and grabbed Sam’s face with fierce determination.  “You’re not a villain!  Don’t even get started with me on that!  You wanna hear about being the bad guy?  Do you wanna know about all the fucking people I killed for _fun_ when I was playing the Trickster?  For shits and giggles, Sam!  Your motives were to fight the demon, to save your brother!  I will fight _you_ , tooth and nail, until you get that stupid idea out of your head!  That’s why no one would judge you if you didn’t want to do it!  Because you’re _good_!  You’re honest to God good, and don’t fall down that rabbit hole because you think that’s what you deserve!”

Sam was so taken aback, not only by the other man’s words, but by the sheer intensity rushing like an exploding geyser through their bond.  It was overwhelming and enough to punch the air from his lungs.  The passion and depth of his feelings reminded Sam all over again how much Gabriel cared about him, how much he loved him, and suddenly it clicked.  He was right.  Sam’s head wasn’t in the right place.

This wasn’t about him; he’d gotten too caught up in his own downfall to realize the true reason they’d come here.

“Fuck,” Sam’s body quaked and his own hands flew up to cover Gabriel’s.  “You’re…yeah.  But—” he stumbled over his words.  “My answer’s still the same.  We came here to bring Dean back.”  His words were absolute.

The fight drained from Gabriel and his grip softened into a caress.  He nodded and repeated, “We’re bringing Dean back.”

“Let’s go tell the others.”   
  
\----------------------

They didn’t want to hear the demon’s commentary, they needed to get away from him.  Sam made sure to reconstruct and build upon any weak spots in the confines before he left the room.

The words out of Meg’s mouth were pure _madness—_ but...it may be crazy enough to work.

Dean was disgusted; he didn’t want anything to do with it, but no part of the plan involved him so he didn’t get a say.  The point was, it accomplished what he’d set out to do: get rid of the demon.  Get rid of _any_ trace of him.  If they were willing…?  No, Dean _still_ didn’t like it at all.

Meg was cunning and smart.  Her brain conspired ideas in the way other people’s just couldn’t.  It was her demon survival instincts winding the finest web.  Dean couldn’t be sure if he loathed the plan because it was Meg’s or he hated it because…no, he definitely hated it.  But it would cover all their bases.  It made sure the demon side of Dean didn’t go to Hell, or Purgatory.  He’d…be completely _gone_.

Dean wasn’t happy that he’d been left alone with Anna and Meg, so he was pacing; but Gabriel and Sam needed to talk.  Because they were the ones who would be finishing the job.

Putting an end to this nightmare.

The women’s presence was making him itch and Dean was surprised he didn’t lash out at them.  He’d been so fucking set on slitting his mirror image’s throat, destroying the one thing that had been haunting him for so long and now he’d been _benched_.  Then again, the initial plan when Dean was awake had also been to find Gabriel and have him end the demon.

But when Dean had gotten close to him—when he had smelled the dried blood and witnessed the carnage— _God_ , did he want to do it _himself_.

Now he was left with a pit in his stomach and a weight on his shoulders.

“It’ll—”

“I swear to fucking Christ, Meg, if you say ‘it’ll be all right’ I’m going to stab you in the chest,”  Dean growled, so far into her personal space that the woman stumbled backwards.

“Deep breath, Winchester,” she scoffed, and tried to regain her footing, “I was going to say ’it’ll work the way it’s meant to.’  If they can’t stomach it, then you can First Blade him, and we’ll take our chances with him being on the loose and kill ’em again in Hell.  We’ll deal with him in the real world.”

He blinked owlishly at her, because he hadn’t been expecting actual, helpful advice.  Dean’s inner turmoil that surrounded Meg was a fucking mess.  He, the human, was so fond of her, had a deep bond with her—but the things she’d done with the demon?  It was unforgivable.  But he had to remember, Meg was half demon.  Yet, she felt remorse—she had shown it to him.  Still, he couldn’t find compassion.  It was a clusterfuck that he wished didn’t exist.

Dean wouldn’t feel as terrible openly hating Anna, but Meg was _Trinity_ , as he was.  There would always be a deep bond that ran between them.  He’d always care about her and it was fucked.  Everything was fucked.

Even more so, when Sam and Gabriel turned the corner, nodding their heads with Sam confirming, “We’ll do it.”

\------------------------

The woman angel followed Charlie’s request as she entered the room.  She didn’t seem unnerved to side-step around the unconscious bodies and walk towards the gurney and the archangel.  Although, when she spared a glance to Castiel, the look of worry in her eyes was undeniable.

“It’s Sam and Gabriel both,” Charlie’s eyes and whole being pleaded, “I don’t have the mojo, but can you feel it?  Can you tell that something’s wrong?”

Hannah humored her and glanced over both the bodies with a deep breath, before she paused and tilted her head curiously.  “You’re right…”

“I told you!”  Her voice almost cracked when she faced Jo again, as well as Benny, who was leaning against the door frame, and Ellen who was hovering in the hallway.  “What is it?  What’s going on?  Are they hurt?  Are they in a battle?”

“I can’t be sure,” Hannah crouched enough to put a hand on both men.  After a long, drawn out pause, she snapped her arms away.

“Hannah?”  Charlie asked carefully, waiting on bated breath for her answer.

But the angel wouldn’t turn around.

She was as cold as anyone had _ever_ seen her, and Hannah wasn’t known for being a jubilant, expressive woman to begin with.  She remained statue-like, unmovable for enough time that Charlie about to shout at her again.  But right before that could happen, she awkwardly turned on her heels to face the redhead with a stony expression.

“We won’t know until they wake up.”

Cas perked up at this, and asked, “What do you mean?”

“What I said,” her words shut the others down right away.  “You’re correct.  Their energies have changed.  But we won’t know _how_ until they’re awake.”

Hannah left the room even faster than she entered, which left Charlie with a dropped jaw, looking around with wild eyes and even more questions than before.

Castiel watched her and knew she was flustered.  “We’ll get the answer soon, Charlie.  Very soon.”  With a fake smile, he told her, “Why don’t you take Joanna’s suggestion and sit down?  We’ll have them back in no time.”

With her jaw set, she folding her hands and attempted deep, calming breaths.  She caught the motion of her girlfriend’s outstretched arms in her peripheral vision and followed them.  Finally accepting there was nothing more she could do, she took the advice and fell into Jo’s lap.  That didn’t mean any of the tension was released from her body, or her damn heart felt less uneasy.

\-------------------------

“What’s our time looking like?”  Dean asked, fidgeting as he constantly crossed and uncrossed his arms.  “We gotta do this with five minutes until we wake up, right?”

“Correct.”  Anna seemed to be the only one with a cool head, because even though she’d never admit it, Meg was personally invested and nervous.  “If I’ve been counting correctly, we’re less than ten minutes away.”

“All right.”  He crossed the floor outside the closed doors and grabbed his brother, announcing, “Just give us a few.”

Sam looked alarmed, but followed him anyway.

Gabriel, Anna and Meg chatted over the logistics one more time, if only to create white noise for the Winchesters to speak in private.  They were still within earshot because the final countdown had arrived.

Even though it had been Dean to drag his little brother away, it was Sam to speak up first.

“I don’t want you to watch,” he blurted out, “please.”

It was hard as hell when Sam gave him those puppy eyes, but he shook his head, “Dude, I _have_ to be in there.  If anything goes wrong, I—”

“I don’t wanna be an asshole, really, I don’t,” Sam prefaced, “but out of anyone here?  You’re the biggest liability.  Anna and Meg are both half angel, half demon.  Gabriel’s still got a little archangel juice, and he’s part of the plan.  You don’t have to worry about me, I’m literally the strongest person here.  And...I don’t want you to see this.”

“But Sam—”

“Dean—” he leveled a look, “do you remember when you had to be completely drained of the tainted blood and friggin’ refilled with Meg and Cas’ when we were Underground?  You _wouldn’t_ let Cas watch.  You _refused_ to let him be in there, in that room, because you didn’t want someone you love seeing you like that.  It’s the same thing.  He respected your wish.”  With a deep breath, and another pleading look, Sam asked again, “Will you respect mine?”

Dean didn’t like it, he didn’t like it at all.  But when Sam brought that up, he couldn’t help but understand.  Even though this was _leagues_ different, it was still something Sam felt vulnerable about.  Hell, he seemed even more nervous about this than Dean had been about dying that day.

Eventually, Dean’s stubborn exterior had to melt when he realized it may be better this way.  So he nodded at his little brother and reached out to wrap his arms around Sam.

Sam clung to him and let out a shaky breath.

“Be safe in there, Sammy,” Dean whispered against his neck.  “He’s dangerous, don’t let him pull one over on you.”

“I won’t,” he responded with certainty, “and thank you.  I mean it.”

Anna caught the tail end of the conversation on her way to the brothers and announced, “We should commence.  Dean, I’ll wait out here with you.”

Although she would never have been his first choice, he didn’t want to be alone.

With a firm pat on Sam’s back, they broke apart and Dean gave him a half smile with a, “Give ‘em hell, tiger.”

Sam’s lips were in a tight line as he nodded, “I will.”

\------------------------

“How absolutely delightful of you to join me again,” the demon cooed. His eyes were still black as night and Sam took refuge in that.  “So, now that you know you can’t kill me—”

“Oh, we’ve got something _special_ in mind.”  Gabriel clapped his hands together, all excited bravado that made the demon falter.

Meg shut the door behind the three tightly as Sam opened a waiting palm towards the archangel.  He dropped his angel blade into the Winchester’s waiting hand and smiled at him.

“You think that _toy_ is going to hurt me inside my own body?”  His eyes flicked back to green and he made eye contact with Sam, his eyes pleading.  “Sammy, you’d never harm your own _brother_.  Come on.  I deserve better than that. Hell is what did this to me.  You know all I wanted was my humanity again.  Why would you try and kill me because I hated what I became?”

“Don’t let him get into your head,” Meg said right away, pulling out her own angel blade just in case things took a turn for the worst.  “Look around you.  Does it look like he gives a shit about turning his act around?  He’s completely lost it.”

“Oh, I know.”  Sam didn’t hesitate for a moment.  He raised his hand and a pulse of energy flooded the air, forcing the demon’s arms to his sides as though he was tied up and bound by ropes.  “He’s not my brother.  My brother is outside, and the only way he’ll stay alive is with us ending you.”

“What the hell is this?”  The evil who wore Dean’s face tried to thrash around, thoroughly confused by the cocoon-like position, and his eyes widened as Sam quickly approached with a strange emptiness in his eyes.

The last thing the demon could have expected happened in a flash.

Sam ducked behind him, wrenched his head to the side, and carved a slit right along his carotid artery.

As soon as the blood began to gush, Sam closed his mouth around the gaping wound and swallowed it down with zeal.  The demon jerked and grunted, trying harder than ever to get away, but his attempts were futile.  Instead, he turned to do the only thing he was capable of.

“You sick fuck!  You missed the good old days of Trifecta blood, you’ll take all you can get now?!  Who’s more demon?  I didn’t _chose_ this, you’re _hungry_ for it!  You’ve always been a freak, Sammy!  You’ve always had something twisted and broken inside you!  You—”

“Shut up.”  Sam pulled away for a split second, face covered in crimson that was dripping down his throat and soaking into the neckline of his shirt.  He pulled the angel blade right over the demon’s heart as a threat and snickered, “You’re right.  The power feels amazing.  And your blood is perfect.  I’m going to drain every fucking ounce of you until there’s nothing left.  Try to come back from _that_.  You can’t get your blood back if it’s a part of me.  I was made for this!”

He clamped his teeth over the wound and picked right back up where he left off.

The demon’s eyes were wide and he hissed, “ _Power…_ I bet that means Gabriel’s worthless to you now, isn’t he?”

The archangel laughed and shook his head, “I’m going to be taking some of that power from you, too.  Once Sammy’s drained you?  He’ll share the wealth.”

“Bet you’re starting to feel pretty damn weak right now, huh?” Meg taunted, “Pretty close to Death’s door?  He’s a friend.  I’m sure he’ll _love_ to meet you.  But this way, hopefully you’ll just cease to exist.”

The demon’s eyelids were beginning to fall and rise out of rhythm, and if his body wasn’t held up by Sam’s energy field, he would have slumped over.

Gabriel could feel Sam’s power growing by the second, growing so much his body was barely able to contain it, and it was beginning to scare him.  He was positive the man had never held this much coursing through his veins, through his being and right now?  Gabriel wasn’t sure this was the best idea.

He had a gut feeling it was time for the next step, hearing the demon’s pulse slowing and dulling with his keen hearing, and he shot a glance to Meg, who nodded.

“Sam, say it, he’s done for,” Gabriel ordered before he was too far gone, but it looked like the man was so caught up, so ravenous he couldn’t even hear him.  “ _Say it,_ goddammit!”

Sam had to pull back and gasp for air when Gabriel’s voice finally registered, and shake himself off.

But then, he made deliberate eye contact with the archangel, and firmly said, “Yes.”

Gabriel’s body was enveloped in light, and soon a beaming stream blasted out from his being and shot across the room.  Straight into Sam.

Meg had to cover her eyes until the bluish grace that was Gabriel dimmed, and when she finally looked over, Sam was radiating that same light.  It was so bizarre, as the archangel’s body slumped to the ground and the purity of something so brilliant mixed in with the darkness that had clouded Sam.  It didn’t cancel it out, it intermingled and Sam’s body—who knew who was in control—stepped away from the unconscious demon.

Or rather, _barely_ conscious.

Because the demon perked right up at the _perfect_ getaway.

An empty vessel.

The restraints Sam had wrapped him in were only around his _physical_ body, they didn’t touch his true essence.

It almost happened in slow-motion, as the demon dropped his jaw and black smoke, surrounded in the shining luminosity that was still a soul, no matter how tainted, shot out and streamed into Gabriel’s now-empty vessel.  Sam was too late as he shoved the angel blade into the demon’s vessel but nothing happened, nothing more than burned out eye sockets and bleeding ears.

Everyone was frozen as ‘Gabriel’ slowly sat up with a wicked smile on his face.

Just then, the brokedown palace, the countless massacred Lucifers, everything began shifting in and out of focus.  Their surroundings were getting fuzzy and everyone was looking around wildly.  A soft darkness crept from the edges of the entire scene, and Meg voiced what they all knew.

“We’re waking up!”

\--------------------  

No one was sure who woke up first, but there was a shout of, “Everyone out!” to those who were in the room where the Dream Walkers’ bodies were laid.  The noises of clattering trays, running feet and more shouts were the second alarm-clock after their jolt back to reality.

Meg was up and on her feet in a defensive stance guarding the doorway, blocking Gabriel’s vessel while Anna grappled with him.  The fight was downright violent—the demon was desperate to run before Sam, who was now combined with Gabriel, had him right back where he started.  He needed to get the fuck out of there while he still had the chance with a newly possessed vessel.

When Sam stood up, he retained the glow of deep crimson mingling with electric blue and faced the demon who had Anna by the throat.

With one swift motion of his hand, Anna was freed, because her attacker was flung across the room and into the wall.  He slumped down, the wind knocked out of him, until Sam raised his hand casually upward and the body followed the gesture—sliding up the wall.

His eyes were wide, and Sam’s jovial tone of, “Well, that couldn’t have worked out any better!” obviously showed _Gabriel_ was in control of Sam’s body.

“What are you talking about?!”  Gabriel’s vessel demanded in a shocked tone.

“Meggie,” Sam’s voice prompted, “do you want to explain your diabolical plan?”

With a victorious grin, she confidently placed her hands on her hips.  “I’d love to.”  She paced towards the trapped demon and cooed, “We set you up, sugar.  See, Sam all powered up is a dangerous thing.  You seeing him all blood-lusting and thinking you were going to die from being sucked dry made you do a stupid fuckin' thing.  Because _why_ would Gabriel need to possess Sam?  Think about it.  In your moment of idiocy, we were able to destroy your dream vessel, making sure you got out of Dean-o’s head while your dumbass did _exactly_ what we hoped and took a _physical_ vessel.  The whole plan was to haul you into the real world.”

“And when I said Sammy and I were gonna share the wealth?” the archangel said cockily with Sam’s mouth, “I really meant he was going to take all the power from your _blood_ , and I was going to head home sweet home.”  He advanced towards his own body.  “Because this baby here?”  He poked the form of Gabriel’s chest, “Isn’t a human.  I constructed it myself.  I don’t need permission.  Once I hop back in, I’m going to turn you into _fuel_.  Recycle you into energy.  I was fucking thrilled when I saw you’re not _just_ demon smoke, you’ve still got a soul there, douchebag.  And a soul is a powerful thing.  You saw I lost some of my grace inside Dean’s head.   _You_ are going to be the repurposed part and replace it.”

“Y-you tricked me,” he growled out, then begged, “Sammy.  I _know_ you’re in there even if your boyfriend is doing the talking.  You heard him!  I _still_ have a soul left.  Are you really going to let him kill me?!”

Sam’s entire body language changed in the blink of an eye, the pilot physically changing.  “After everything you’ve said?  After how you’ve been hunting my brother?”  He shook his head with a snort.  “Not a chance.”

After a few steps back, he took a deep breath and the mirror image of Gabriel’s grace leaving Sam’s body happened once more.  Except this time, Sam staggered in his steps and looked for something to grab because his vision blacked out for a few seconds—the power surge from Gabriel was beyond intense.  Anna was the one who grabbed him to make sure he didn’t fall over and hurt himself.

Now that Gabriel was back in his own body, he easily pulled away from Sam’s energy field and his hands rushed to his head.  He looked around and announced, “All right, _everyone out_ , this ain’t gonna be pretty.”

Dean was still in the hospital bed, watching the scene unfold like a movie, completely in shock that it had worked.  Meg was removing the attached IV while Sam stepped towards Gabriel and kissed him before Anna helped him out of the room.

Gabriel added, “Shut the door!” before they left, and after it was firmly closed, it appeared as though there was a fucking _fireworks_ show going on behind it.

Once the four were outside, the others watching over them were a group of deer in headlights, staring at them, with demands of, “What happened?!” “Did it work?” someone’s guess of “Wait, is Gabriel, like, _eating him?_!” along with other babbled things that were just…too much.  They were exhausted, but there was one thing that had Hannah and Castiel gasping and grabbing Dean.

Castiel wrapped Dean in his arms and both held on for dear life, but Hannah demanded, “Is that—?!”

The other angel was one step ahead, analyzing and confirmed, “Yes.  But I have no idea _how_.”

“What?” Dean asked in an exasperated tone. “Don’t tell me part of him is still in there.  I thought the plan worked and I got my body back, demon-free.”  He held Cas tighter. “I won’t be able to deal with any more bad news, guys.”

“No, he’s gone.”  Cas kissed the man’s neck, pulled far enough away to kiss his lips, then stared at him.  “Y-you can’t feel it?”

“I feel something.  But ain’t got no idea what it is.  I don’t wanna know.”

“You _must_ ,” Hannah urged.  “You have the grace of an angel inside of you.”

“Oh.  Well, I’ve had Cas’ before, I—”

“No, Dean,” Castiel squinted, “ _archangel_ grace.  It feels like Gabriel’s.   _How—_?”

Sam was by their side in an instant. “Holy fuck.  When we were Dream Walking, Gabe and I, we ran into us.  Well, _past versions_ of us from the final battle against the Trilogy.  Dream Gabe said he’d call the old team on us if Gabe didn’t give him some mojo because he was running low.”  His attention wildly flew between Castiel and Hannah, “That’s where it went?  It stayed inside Dean?!”

“If it was a part of his dream, it would stand to reason…” Hannah said carefully, “Dean.  It’s… significant.  You’re much stronger than I, perhaps stronger than Castiel.”

“What?!”  His jaw dropped. “This is so fucked up, I don’t want it, I—”

“He can give it back, right?”

“No,” Cas said mournfully.  “If an angel willingly gives someone their grace, it cannot be revoked.  Even in the dream-state.  Much like you and the…” he trailed off, looking to the ground.

Sam gulped and tore his eyes away, because he knew it wasn’t Gabriel’s possession that held the demon to the wall when they awoke, it was his own nightmare come true.    
  
The blood followed him back.     
  
He was thrumming with power, especially after he nearly completely drained Dean’s other half to the point of murky, delusional self-preservation instincts.  He could feel the angels’ judgment, he knew they were trying to hold back their disgust but he didn‘t owe them an answer.  Sam knew _he_ was the reason his brother was back safe.  Dean knew that, too.  He didn’t owe anyone else anything.

Still, he couldn’t deal with this right now.  Not after everything that happened.

He turned his back and walked down the hallway, headed for his room.  Before he could, he felt Dean grab his shoulder and spin him around.

There was nothing but gratefulness in his eyes as he said, “Thanks, Sammy.  I—”

“You don’t have to thank me, Dean.  I’d do anything for you.”  His smile was tight, but he needed to get away.  “Be with Cas.  He needs you.  He’s been by your side, waiting for you to wake up, every single day.”

Dean did a double take between the angel and his brother, before he nodded and confirmed, “Yeah, he’s a stubborn son of a bitch, ain’t he?”

“He is.”  It was all Sam could say before he finished walking away.  
  
He had done his part, he’d tainted himself further and now he knew everything was in Gabriel’s capable hands.  There wasn’t a doubt in Sam’s mind that the demon would be long gone in the blink of an eye.  Or however long it took for Gabriel to absorb his energy.  Yet Sam didn’t have the option to convert the evil that was coursing through him into something useful...he was unclean and past saving.

Sam didn’t belong here.  Not anymore.

\-----------------

_Of course,_ Dean could feel the grace, he’d had grace in his system before.  He’d known it was there from the second he woke up, but there was so much happening it wasn’t like he had the time to analyze it.  Now that Cas had pinpointed it was Gabriel’s, he realized just how different it truly was.  Not only had his atrophied, bed-sore and sickly body completely healed, he was stronger than he’d ever felt in his life.

Either of his lives.

When Hannah said he was more than likely stronger than them—he could feel himself superior to her—but as soon as he held Cas, when he kissed Cas he knew _they_ were equals.

It begged the question—was he still human?  Or had this changed him into something else all over again?

He was worried it was the same with his brother.

Would Death come for them both, once more, because they ‘disturbed the natural order’?

Fuck.  It didn’t matter.  Because Dean had waited too damn long for this.

He had Castiel’s hand in his own and he was rushing him down the hallway, away from the crowd who waited right outside the door, ordering, “We need some privacy.  Like, yesterday.”

While Cas seemed confused at first, the look Dean shot him caused understanding to bloom across his features.  He exhaled sharply and responded, “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear those words.  To have the chance to even hear your voice—”

“We did it,” Dean swung the angel into one of the guest rooms and pinned him against the wall.  “I never fucking thought I’d see you again.  I’d given up, but—”

“You know I’d never give up on you.”  His arms snaked upward to hold Dean’s face and stare at him with reverence and awe.  “I’d _never_ stop looking.”

“Heh,” Dean huffed out, a grin quirking on his lips.  “Yeah, you saved me.  How about I repay the favor?”

The mischievous grin on Cas’ face lit up as his hands trailed down Dean’s body and turned into raking nails.  “How do you propose you do that?

Although Dean was pinning Cas, the grip the angel had on his hips was iron-clad and turned the tables a bit.  It also sent a chill of arousal straight down to Dean’s cock.  Cas had just enough room to dip forward and brush their noses against one another, before he flicked his tongue across Dean’s lips.

“Jesus, Cas,” he groaned on an exhale, and the angel surged off the wall until they were both tumbling to the bed.  “Shoulda come back sooner, huh?”

“Don’t joke about that.”  It was a stern order, followed by a just as powerful, “Take off your clothes.”

With a teasing eyebrow raised, Dean countered, “You gonna help me?”

“I’m worried I’ll destroy them,” Castiel admitted as he went to work unbuttoning his own shirt. “You have no idea how badly I want to rip them from your body.”

He didn’t have to be told twice.  Although the angel was straddling his hips, he could easily pull off the shirt and, with a quick raise of his pelvis, tug down the flannel bottoms he’d been dressed in during his coma.  Shit, he didn’t want to think about _that_ right now.  He wanted to think about what was in front of him—the goddamn love of his life, watching him with a mixture of sheer adoration and even more hunger.

It was ridiculously sexy, and Dean’s cock was pulsing at the sight.

Cas wasn’t even half undressed, but he couldn’t keep his hands to himself anymore.  Or rather, his mouth.

He sucked along Dean’s neck and took his time to worship every inch of his body on his trek downward.  Cas’ hands fanned out, hot to the touch, along the man’s chest after he thoroughly covered it in kisses and teasing bites.  Once he reached Dean’s hip bones, the man was moaning and breathing heavily, desperate for friction.

The angel had the nerve to glance up at Dean’s flushed face when he hovered over his pre-cum leaking dick.  He whimpered and spread his legs, rolling his pelvis, needing Cas to take mercy on him.  Not only was the sensation of touch such a fresh awareness, the feeling of pleasure of leagues above it.  Dean had been starved of both for what felt like an eternity and—

When Cas wrapped his mouth around his cock he saw stars.

The way he eagerly lapped the length, sucked the head just on the right side of rough, and then took him down his throat was—it was overwhelming.

Yet, at the same time, the way Cas took him apart was familiar and it was so comforting.  If not _maddening_ , at the same time.

“Dammit,” Dean whimpered out, because he didn’t want it to end but he needed more.  So he challenged, “This is all the p-payment you’ll take?”

A hum sent a jolt through Dean’s body and had him arching off the bed, before Cas asked, “What do you have in mind?” and licked the entire length of his shaft.

“I want all of you.”  He hated how shaky his voice sounded, but it was the effect Cas always had on him.  “Need to feel all of you.”

Without a bit of hesitation, Cas grinned widely with a, “I was hoping you’d say that.”

“Of fuckin’ course—”

Dean was cut off with a yelp, a noise he’d completely deny, as the angel flipped him around on the bed.  He could hear the rustle of fabric, as Cas finished removing his clothing, and just to be a tease to rile the angel up, Dean went ahead and swiveled his ass and wantonly swung his hips.  It worked, because Cas cursed something under his breath and instead of working him open with one finger, three slid in alarmingly quickly.

Although Dean’s heart skipped a goddamn beat, he realized Cas had used his angel mojo or else he would have been torn open right now.  Or maybe it was _Dean’s_ mojo?  Who the hell knew, all Dean cared about was the fact that Cas was finger fucking him with slick, rough, steady pumps of his wrist, and when he curled his fingers?  Electricity sent a shock through his body.

Now that he knew they didn’t have to wait for a painful prep, Dean was begging shamelessly, “Cas, gimmie your cock.  Now!”

“Let me savor this,” the angel’s voice was hoarse, emotions bleeding through, “I don’t want a dirty, quick fuck, Dean.  I thought I’d lost you.”

The words cut through Dean’s entire being, because he knew he’d done this to Cas.  He’d been the one to hide, to break the man’s heart, and now it was up to him to put it back together.  He couldn’t be demanding, he had to let Cas take the reins, let Cas have him any way he wanted him, because he _owed it_ to him.

Dean found himself nodding in agreement, even though his dick was painfully hard and his body was aching with desire, he whispered, “Anything you want, babe.”

He felt lips kissing his back, as the fingers left his loosened hole, and the feel of Cas’ cock slowly lining up made his body rejoice.  At least Cas wasn’t holding back and torturing him.  He just felt the need to tell Dean this wasn’t about simply getting off.

He slowly slid inside, taking in the sensation of every second, and both men were moaning at that sense of completion when their bodies were one.

_That’s_ when Dean understood.

God, he’d been an idiot.

He’d been ruled by fear and nearly lost this.

Lost the love of his goddamn life because of that idiot demon, but now that they’d won the victory was that much sweeter.

He couldn’t help the words, “I love you, Cas,” as they tumbled from his lips.

The angel pulled out, just slightly, and when he fucked back into him just as slow, tenderly replied, “Love you more than anything.”

Everything felt right.  The way Cas covered him in affection, the way his hips rolled in and out, making love to him, even though they’d started out with something a little more carnal.  This…this was so much _better_.

Dean sat back to feel the depth, feel the long glide of each and every thrust, gasping when Cas nailed his sweet spot again.  And once he did, he sped up, every angle of his thrust held true to that aim and left Dean babbling Cas' name over and over and he knew he was close.

The angel kept caressing him, kissing every part of his body he could reach as his hips snapped forward with a new-found inspiration.  He loved the sound of Dean’s voice when he was falling apart, and he fully intended on making him scream.

“Let me hear you,” he commanded, as he gripped Dean’s hips for leverage and doubled up on his rhythm, “want you to cum for me.”

“Fuck, I’m so close, Cas,” he whined, completely losing all his control and giving it up to his lover.  “Just like—”

He couldn’t even finish his sentence, he was shouting out and doubled over into the mattress as the pleasure hit him.  But there was something else, something even _more_ intense.  He could feel Cas’ grace reaching out to him, mingling on some other level with his own and it was something heady and so extreme he felt like he’d blacked out and he was floating.

From his heightened sense of consciousness, he could feel another burst of light and he could hear Cas gasping.  Yet, he could feel each of the pulses too, all over again.

It was almost too much, but nothing had ever felt this amazing before…Dean couldn’t even begin to put words to it.

Just…rushes of _energy_.  The intertwining of _who they were,_ it was—

When he finally came back to himself, Dean was laying on his back with Castiel hovering over top of him.  The angel was mouthing at his neck, gently brushing the hair off his sweating forehead as he whispered his name.

Dean knew his face must have been all kinds of goofy when he said, “Hi,” because Cas flashed back a gummy smile.

“There you are,” he said tenderly and kissed him sweetly, “you were very dazed for a bit.”

“Well ’m back.  Wow.  What was that?”

“Something I hadn’t accounted for.”  Cas looked a bit sheepish as he glanced away. “We’ve never…not when we both had grace.  It was—”

“Fucking awesome?”  Dean supplied for him with a grin.  “’Cause that’s my vote, at least.”

The angel nodded and huffed with relief. “I hope it didn’t overwhelm you.”

“Your words, dazed, sure.  But nothin’ I couldn’t handle.”  He reached out and pulled Cas to his chest, “Get over here.”

There was nothing but joyful pliancy as Cas allowed himself to be pulled into Dean’s arms.  He wrapped his own around the man and settled his head in the crook of his shoulders.  There was a pleasant buzzing in the room, and Cas being able to listen to Dean’s still-racing heartbeat was one of the best things he’d experienced in a long time.  Something he never knew he’d taken for granted.

“It may stay this way,” Cas admitted, his breath ghosting across Dean’s naked skin, making the man shiver slightly.  “I hope that’s all right?”

“Fuck yeah,” his voice was all confidence with a hint of excitement.  “Best orgasm of my life.  Not that every time I’m with you isn’t, uh—”

“I understand your point.”  He rolled his eyes fondly before squeezing Dean once for good measure.  “I never wish to move.”

“Me either.  Wait, does this mean—?  Like, when we were Underground and I let the grace outta the lockbox.  Then we didn’t need sleep.” Dean’s eyebrows furrowed when the memory came back to him.  “Is it gonna be like that all over again?  ‘Cause with you in Heaven, it’s gonna kill me when you have to go back and forth to visit and I’m awake, twenty-four seven.”

“I…” Cas cleared his throat and hesitated.  “I was hoping you’d return with me.  You’d be able to visit Earth whenever you like.  But with your grace?  I’m not sure if you’re human or angelic, Dean.”

“Fuck.”

“I want to keep you safe.  I want you to be by my side, always.  It’s…what I was wishing for, once we defeated the Trilogy.  I never had the opportunity to ask.  I don’t want to take this second chance for granted, I don’t want—”

He was babbling and Dean needed to put a stop to it.

“That’s what I wanted, too.  Don’t worry, Cas.”  He ran his hand through the strands of dark hair, “’Course I’m gonna stay with you.  Especially if I sprout some wings and get frequent flyer miles.  If I can pop back to Earth whenever?  Nothing’ll keep us apart.”  But then, something stopped him in his tracks.  “Unless…Death—”

“I won’t let him.”  Cas’ voice was nearly a growl and his words were absolute.  “If he made it possible for you to come back, then he _wanted_ you to live.  And if you were given grace?  Heaven will be the perfect place for you.  We’ve saved the world, you and Sam did.  We’re in no danger, we’ve done our duty, now it’s our time to savor it.”

Dean nodded slowly, because it made sense.  Why would Death give them another chance at life, only to kill them again?  Regardless of the current circumstances.

“So what’s Heaven like?”  He decided to change the subject.

“Whatever you want it to be.” Cas was wearing a secret smile the other man couldn’t see.  “That’s what makes it Heaven.”


	16. Reclamation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Charlie was the first to realize and voiced it right away. “Sam went on a feeding frenzy.” Then, she turned to Hannah and snapped, “He’s got the biggest heart in the goddamn world! And you’re telling me you looked down your nose at him and sent him on his way?!”_
> 
> _“Thank you!” Gabriel nearly shouted, “He was freaking out on the inside, terrified it would follow him back. Imagine when he found out it had followed him back?”_
> 
> _“I-I apologize,” Hannah stammered out, “it wasn’t my intention—I was distracted by the grace inside Dean, the fact that—”_
> 
> _“I understand you’re Cas’ bitch, and all,” the archangel darted around until he was practically nose-to-nose with Hannah, “but back in the day? When we were Underground and we were all equals? You used to have a heart. You used to care about everyone. You’ve reverted, Hannah. Heaven ain’t a good look on you. Now, which way did he go?”_

There was a huge question that hung in the air (or maybe an elephant in the room) as Meg and Anna paced the hallway and the others watched them.

Why weren’t they running?  Why were they waiting for Gabriel to come out?  Were they staying here for the man to emerge and pass down his judgment?  And if so, why even risk it?

Half the group had retired, now that they had faith the threat was gone and they were completely exhausted from the events of the day.  The recklessness of their comrades that placed a heavy burden and emotional distress had taken its toll—they had justifiable reasons for some much-needed recovery.  Yet Benny, Hannah, Charlie and Jo still remained.  They side-eyed the two women and the light show as it flickered out from underneath the door.

Finally, it swung open and Gabriel resurfaced—a luminous glow beginning to fade around him.  But, besides the disheveled hair, he appeared normal.  And, Hannah noticed to herself, back to what could be considered full power.  However, it was a _different_ kind of power.  He’d absorbed the evil of a demon and the abounding energy of a human soul.  He must have worked some form of dark magic to acclimate the energies into his body—but Hannah had to remember he was the ruler of Purgatory.

Gabriel wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty.

He wasn’t a ruler of Heaven, nor did he care about Holy magic, regardless of being an archangel.  All Gabriel cared about was power, anyway he could get it.  And he had accomplished his goal.

Anna and Meg froze the moment he exited the room, and he raked his eyes over the two before asking, “What are you still doing here?”

“We…” Anna opened her mouth, but didn’t have an answer.

Meg picked up where she left off and stated, “We wanted to make sure it worked.  That the demon was gone for good.”

“Oh, he’s done-zo,” Gabriel chuckled darkly under his breath.  “Thanks to your plan.  But I can’t help but wonder,” he circled the two from where they were stopped in their tracks, “is that the only reason you stayed?”

“What’s your verdict?”  This time, the redhead wasn’t shy and got right to the point.  “You’d be able to track us anywhere, it would be fruitless for us to run.  What will you do with us?”

He seemed to consider his options while he tapped a finger thoughtfully on his chin.  “Well, I did tell you part of the deal surrounded us getting Dean out alive.  And Meg was the one who made it happen.  Although it’s not redemption, it _is_ enough for me to spare your lives.”  When some of the rigidness fell from their shoulders, he added, “But Hell’s _not_ your playground.  Crowley stays King.  Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes,” Meg answered immediately, no matter how much she hated it.

After all the effort, all the work they’d put into their takeover and how they had cleared a spot for themselves as rulers—it wouldn’t make a lick of difference if they were dead.  Meg had to admit, she was expecting death one way or the other.  The fact that Gabriel was showing mercy when he had a penchant for going back on his word as well as punishment was a blessing all by itself.

“Good.”  The archangel looked between them and hissed, “Now leave, before I change my mind.”

The women exchanged a glance, and instantly blipped out of existence.

“You ready to head back home?” Benny asked, pushing off the wall he’d been leaning against and reminded him, “Last I remember, you got the King’a Hell circled in a Devil’s Trap.  Best give him the good news before he throws a fit, eh?”

“Yeah, yeah, you go do that.  Free the dickwad and send him my best.”  The words left his mouth, but they were absent.

Because Gabriel wasn’t looking at the vampire.  His eyes were too busy as they scanned the people in front of him, then peered down the hallway.  There was only one thing on his mind right now.

“Where’s Sam?”

Hannah perked up, taking a step closer to explain, “We found out your lost grace resides inside Dean,” she ignored his gritted teeth and continued, “and Castiel may have hinted at his own…Dream Walking _supplement_.  He told his brother and Castiel they needed to be together and Sam walked off.”

“And you just let him?!” Gabriel demanded, looking between everyone and throwing his arms up in the air.  “Excuse me, pre-existing self-loathing and fear in addition to judgment from you winged-assholes, and you let him walk off?!  You should be watching him, not leaving him alone!”

“Wait, what?”  Jo charged forward, because he wasn’t making any sense to her, “What are you talking about?”

“Sam basically saved us all inside Dean’s melon,” he whipped around to face to blonde, worried if he were to keep staring at Hannah and her idiotic move he’d feel the need to lash out and strangle her.  “He knew Demon Dean was what was standing in our way.  So Sam used one of his greatest hits and made himself a formidable enemy against the demon.  Hell, he kicked the demon’s ass into next week.  Remember his super power?”

“The blood.”  Charlie was the first to realize and voiced it right away.  “Sam went on a feeding frenzy.”  Then, she turned to Hannah and snapped, “He’s got the biggest heart in the goddamn world!  And you’re telling me you looked down your nose at him and sent him on his way?!”

“Thank you!” Gabriel nearly shouted, “He was freaking out on the inside, terrified it would follow him back.  Imagine when he found out it _had_ followed him back?”

“I-I apologize,” Hannah stammered out, “it wasn’t my intention—I was distracted by the grace inside Dean, the fact that—”

“I understand you’re Cas’ bitch, and all,” the archangel darted around until he was practically nose-to-nose with Hannah, “but back in the day?  When we were Underground and we were all equals?   _You_ used to have a heart.  You used to care about everyone.  You’ve reverted, Hannah.  Heaven ain’t a good look on you.  Now, which way did he go?”

She was a deer caught in headlights as she pointed down the hall, and Gabriel took off.

What he didn’t like was the fact that Jo and Charlie followed directly behind him.  He kept glancing over his shoulder and finally snapped, “What are you doing?”

“He’s our friend, too, Gabe.”  Charlie’s voice held strong.

Jo added with conviction, “He’s like a brother to me.  And don’t forget, before you hopped into Dean’s head?  You abandoned him.  That’s the last memory I have of you.  So, sorry, if I don’t trust that you two patched things up and are all lovey-dovey again from an encounter inside a fuckin’ dream.”

Gabriel had to admit that was logical.  And he hated it.  So there was only one thing he could say.

“Don’t slow me down.”

\----------------------

“Do you think it’s true?” Hannah asked as she walked aside Benny, having just transported the two of them to the portal leading to Purgatory.

“Pardon?” he asked as they paused outside the link between worlds.  “You mean what Gabe said?”

“About…how Heaven changed me.”  Her voice was confused as she tilted her head to the side and looked at the vampire.  “I believe he was correct.”

“Hannah, now listen here,” Benny turned his entire body and gripped her shoulder, “you’re a good woman.  Now, I know you angels were different before the fall, and takin’ orders just comes naturally to you.  You’ve been servin’ Cas for five years and you’ve done a good job, _cher_.  I understand he’s your first priority, and it wasn’t your fault about Sam.   _Dean_ was who we were tryin’ to get back.”

“So I did make a mistake,” she stated evenly and sighed.

“We all made a mistake.  If I hadn’t been so devoted to Gabe and making sure he came out alright on the other side, I shoulda gone after him.  And _that’s_ the kicker,” Benny shook his head at the irony.  “If I _was_ devoted to Gabe, he would’ve wanted me to watch Sam.  ’m saying it’s not your fault.  Gabe’s intense—he needed somewhere to direct his anger and that fell’n you.  Don’t be too hard on yourself.  Jo, Charlie and Gabe’ll make it right.”

She didn’t seem to be comforted by the words, but she understood them and nodded.  “I hope Sam doesn’t do anything rash.”

“Heh, I wish I could say he won’t, but isn’t that the Winchester way?” Benny scoffed, and kicked absently at the dirt. “He doesn’t have much of a head start on ’em.  Gabe will be able to track him.  It’ll be fine.”  He dropped his arm and turned to face the portal.  “Now, I gotta King of Hell to release.  Hopefully he won’t take anything out on me.”

“Do you wish me to accompany you?” Hannah offered eagerly, wanting to feel useful in some way, seeking any form of redemption she could.

“Nah, don’t think the monsters of Purgatory’ll take well to an angel wandering around, even if I say you’re with me,” he stated wryly. “Only reason they respect Gabe is because he’s Loki, too.  Rules as him.  I’m probably one’a the only creatures who doesn’t flinch at even the word “angel”.  Stay strong, Hannah.  I’m sure I’ll be seeing you soon.”

“Take care and be safe.”  Her smile was sincere as Benny tipped his hat and jumped through the portal.

Hannah looked up to the sky with a heavy exhale, experiencing a wash of helpless defeat overwhelm her.

She decided she may as well return to Heaven.  Since that’s where she belonged, anyway.

\--------------------

Gabriel could feel the pulse of Sam’s soul within his body, but only _barely_.  It was clouded because of all the new energy coursing through his veins.  He hadn’t quite acclimated to the feel of recycled smoke and soul quite yet.  And because the demon’s soul had turned into fuel, it was hard to feel the real, actual pull of Sam’s.

He had to give it to them, Charlie and Jo were keeping up a good pace ever since they’d headed out of the building and into the woods.

“We’ve gotta think like Sam,” Charlie finally said aloud, “where would he go?  It feels like we’re just randomly wandering.  Unless you’ve got a trace on him, Gabe.”

The archangel finally jerked to a halt.

He didn’t look at the women, but he admitted through grit teeth, “Everything’s fuzzy.  I can’t fucking grab the link right.  The fuckin’ cocktail of power in my body is keeping me from locking it in.”

“Okay, that’s fine.  So your GPS is on the fritz.”  Jo’s voice was tense but understanding.  “Char’s right.  Sure, maybe Sam is randomly wandering, but our randoms are probably different.  So let’s change this a little—where would he wind up?”

“You guys know the area.”  Gabriel felt defeated and crossed his arms.  “You tell me.”

Charlie’s words were a gasp when she asked, “You don’t think he’s headed to the river?”

“It’s something familiar.”  Jo rushed out the reply and grabbed her girlfriend’s hand.  “I remember Tessa saying Death made him jump because he was an ‘abomination’ before, maybe he feels like that’s where he belongs?!”

The two took off running, which turned the tables and left Gabriel to follow.  That thought left him sick to his stomach, because it made a terrible kind of sense.

And, fuck, he hoped they were wrong.

He knew Sam wasn’t suicidal, but all the demon blood pumping through his body may make him feel invincible.  Who the hell knew _what_ he was thinking, but they needed to find him.  Because maybe he wasn’t thinking at all—which could cause an even bigger problem.  Maybe Sam was simply _acting_ , and that thought was enough for Gabriel’s heart to jump into his goddamn throat.

They charged through a barely-cleared path, brush and twigs snapping against their hastened bodies and crushed underfoot as they ran.  The women knew where to jump over fallen logs and were taking this as deadly serious as the archangel.  It filled Gabriel with guilt.  Because when he’d left Sam, these were his friends—these were the people who were left to pick up the pieces of his undoubtedly crushed heart.

Gabriel _never_ should have abandoned them.  Then Sam never would have banished Cas, jumped into Dean’s head on what could have been a suicide mission, and drank his fill of demons along the way.  This was all on Gabriel.  Every last bit of it.  And if anything happened to him?

The archangel would never forgive himself.

He wished he knew where the hell the river was, so he could grab the girls and zap them there, but he’d never seen it before—the image wasn’t in his brain so he couldn’t easily locate it or manifest it.  But the speed they set was grueling, and he had faith they’d be there soon.  Even though Sam had those damn long-ass legs, hopefully he was ambling around, rather than marching towards a destination.

“Sam!”

It was Jo who called out first, which meant they had found him.

The clearing opened up to the banks of the river, where the man was sitting along the side and didn’t respond to his name.  He didn’t even flinch.

Charlie stopped to catch her breath, but neither Jo nor Gabriel slowed.

“Hey, hey,” Jo kicked up dust as she crashed to her knees next to him, and the archangel decided to hold back just behind them and see what she was up to.  “You did it!  You saved Dean, Sam!  Why’d you take off before we could even do a celebration shot?”

Gabriel watched her approach with rapt interest.  It was something he would have been smart to do, but not at all what he had in mind.  He was too desperate, too worried and emotionally invested from the adrenaline from the way their last encounter had ended.  Maybe Jo had the right idea, attacking this with a playful demeanor rather than one of life-or-death.  Gabriel would have overwhelmed him and maybe that wasn’t what the other man needed.

Yet, Sam wasn’t snapping out of it.  His eyes were focused on the flow of the water from where he was hunched over.  He was captured in an eerie, zombie-like state, and Jo had no problem getting right up in his face and wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Whattya think about a party?  Mom can make any rabbit food ya like.  We’ve got some of that moonshine we managed to save from the Underground.  It’d be fun to crack that open, right?”  She tilted her head and smiled warmly at him.  “And we could play poker.  Like the old days.  C’mon, everything’s been shit since you guys got back, and now we’ve got proper time for a celebration!  And there’s _so much_ to celebrate.  Thanks to _you_.”

“Totally!” Charlie called from behind him, taking her cue from Jo and sitting on Sam’s other side.  She rested her head on his shoulder and said, “We need our reunion party.  Like, not just _want_ but legit _need_.  It’ll be fun.  We’ll have Gabe conjure up balloons, make everything look really snazzy and—”

“Stop.”  Sam’s single word was gruff and filled with too many emotions to count.

There was frustration and anger, but more than anything there was overwhelming defeat.

“Nope.”  Jo made a popping noise, undeterred.

She’d been around enough hopeless people trying to find their way back in the Underground, to know there was _always_ a chance to turn it around.  She wasn’t going to let someone so close to her succumb to that devastation.

“So you don’t want the balloons, Sammy?” Gabriel finally perked up from behind.  “That’s fine, they aren’t really my style, anyway.  Now, if we’re talking _decorations_ , I’m all about—”

“All of you!” Sam screamed, “stop!  Stop pretending anything’s all right!” He reached up and covered his head with his arms, which knocked both Charlie and Jo away from him.

Although they fell back a little, they didn’t retreat.

“Excuse me?” Charlie asked, in an almost patronizing tone.  “What’s _wrong_ , exactly?  Your brother’s out of his coma and healed because of a grace donation.  Cas isn’t all woe-is-me.  Crowley’s back on his way to fix up Hell.  No one died, beside the obvious—which fueled your boyfriend back to full strength—and we‘ll never have to worry about Hellboy.  And, oh, did I mention the fact you and Dean were _supposed to be dead_?  Like, forever?  And you’re both _alive_?  I know that’s kind of a PS, but there’s that.”

“I’m sure Death is going to come for me again.”  Sam’s voice had lost all its fight.  “It’s gonna happen all over.  And this time, I chose it.  I wasn’t doing it to save the world.  I wasn’t doing it for some prophesy.  There could have been other ways to defeat the demon and I _chose_ this.  I chose to ruin myself, without hesitation, because I remembered that feeling and that rush of power.  Go ahead, celebrate everything else.  But I’m done.”

“Done with what, exactly?”  Gabriel approached, and roughly pulled Sam from the ground and spun him around to face him.  “We knew this would happen in the little ol’ dream sequence.  And it sure as hell sounded like we were going to make it work.  Together.  Now, are you gonna let some prissy angel get to you?  Because it looks like you still got a lotta friends who love you and don’t give a shit about your means to our end.”

Sam looked like a scared animal, because he’d only been on the receiving end of Gabriel’s rage a couple times.  And it never got any easier.

“He’s right,” Jo stated confidently, standing up from the mucky bank.  “We don’t care.  Not a bit.  You’re a hero—”

“No, I’m _not_!”  Sam’s voice cracked and he looked about ready to break down.

“Come here,” Gabriel ordered the women, who followed his directions immediately.

With a snap of his fingers, they found themselves back inside the house.  Which was a welcome sight, because Sam being in front of that river…it was haunting.  It brought back old memories.  Even though no one had witnessed the brothers jump, they all held their own mental image, terrible make-believe nightmares, of how the event happened.

They were in Sam’s room and Gabriel pushed him down to the bed and held him there although he wasn’t putting up much of a struggle, then turned his focus to the women.

He wiggled his eyebrows at Charlie and Jo and clucked his tongue, “You know what?  I think a celebration _is_ in order!  Why don’t you ladies begin planning?  I’ll talk his sweet, but dumb, ass down from the metaphorical ledge.”

While they looked wary, Charlie could see the way Sam was beginning to respond to Gabriel and nodded her affirmation.

“You know what?  We’re totes gonna do it.  Your asses better be ready!  Jo, let’s get your mom and put together a menu.  I think we need this.  All of us.”  She grabbed the blonde’s hand and tugged her away.  “Get ready to party, bitches!” was the last thing she said before she slammed the door shut.

When Gabriel turned back to Sam, he realized he was still looking at him with fear, a fear he knew he caused.  He couldn’t help the way the kid riled him up, but he needed to put an end to it, now.

“Hey,” he removed his hands slowly from the way they were restraining him and instead cupped Sam’s cheek and palmed his shoulder.  “Hey, I didn’t mean to scare you.  I just…get worked up.  You know that.  And I _can’t_ lose you again.  So stop with this self-hatred and get your ass in gear.  We’ve got a party to prepare you for.”

Sam crawled backwards, away from Gabriel’s touch and crowded the headboard until he was leaning against it, “No.  I told you, I—”

Without hesitation, Gabriel followed his movement and decided the best way to keep him in place was by straddling his lap.  So he helped himself.  This time, he caressed both Sam’s cheeks and forced him to look in his eyes.

“Babe.  C’mon.  What can I do to get you to snap out of this?”  His voice softened and he huffed a sigh while he pressed their foreheads together.  “I get it.  What we did, what we asked of you.  You’re still probably shell-shocked.  But I’m gonna take care of you.  You got that?”

“I don’t need taking care of—”

“Hah, you make it sound like you have a choice,” Gabriel quirked an impish grin before he kissed him.

It wasn’t as sweet as his words were, but it was full of love in the passionate, scorching sense.  He needed to do something to draw Sam out of it.  And actions always spoke louder than words did.  He’d have to show Sam, because he wasn’t listening.  His stupid brain wasn’t listening to reason—there was this _block_ that Gabriel needed to crack and rationale didn’t seem to work.

He licked along the seam of Sam’s lips until he opened his mouth and they fell lax.  Gabriel sucked the bottom into his mouth and tugged, the move _finally_ spurred Sam into action.  His hands flew up and desperately at grabbed the fabric clothing Gabriel’s back, needing something to hold onto.  Sam’s tongue brushed against Gabriel’s once he licked his teeth, and the archangel felt relief.  After a few minutes of the intense make-out, he also felt a hard bulge underneath him, from where he was still straddling Sam.

The archangel hummed and ground down against it, ripping a moan from the human’s throat.  Gabriel was addicted to the sound, so he continued to roll his hips, craving more.  It was Sam who pawed off Gabriel’s jacket, flinging it to the floor, and snuck his hands underneath his shirt to feel the his hot skin.  When he raked his fingernails down Gabriel’s back, it was his turn to moan because Sam was playing rough.  And he liked it.

Gabriel’s fingers worked nimbly and quickly to unbutton the flannel, his lips never leaving Sam’s, and rejoiced when Sam helped by shrugging it off.  It was more confirmation that Gabriel wasn’t in this alone and Sam was just as eager as he was.  As soon as the flannel was gone, Gabriel wasted no time grabbing the bottom hem of Sam’s shirt and yanked it up and over his head.  He sucked down his neck, and on his now-naked collarbone, unafraid to nip and leave love-bites along his shoulders and chest.

Sam was panting heavily and failed at pulling off Gabriel’s shirt because he was too damn distracted.  With a wink, Gabriel took pity on him and decided to take the task upon himself.  He also took on the task of getting them horizontal on the bed, rather than shoved up against the headboard.  And, oh yeah, he also mojo’d the rest of their clothes away.

Finally being skin-to-skin had Sam gasping, “Gabriel!” as their bare erections rutted together.

“Yes?” he purred into Sam’s ear, teeth grazing along his neck. “Are you ready to behave and let me take care of you yet?”

Then, the most beautiful noise Gabriel had heard all day happened.

Sam chuckled.

He actually, _truly_ chuckled, and it was enough to make Gabriel pull away from his ministrations and look at his face.

Hopefully he wasn’t gaping, because there was an honest-to-God smile on Sam’s face, and it made the laughter pale in comparison.

With a now-confident air surrounding him, Sam stated, “I just remembered that you really don’t leave me much choice.  Ever.”

Gabriel could feel an equally wide grin blooming across his features, and he added a cocky, “Then _stop_ for-fuckin’-getting.  Because I’m damn good at it.”

“You know what else you’re good at?”  Sam raised a mischievous eyebrow.

“I have a couple ideas.” Gabriel flicked his tongue across the man’s slightly open mouth before asking, “What are you specifically referring to?”

Sam rolled his hips upward against Gabriel’s with a moaned, “Talking too much when you should be fucking me.”

“Ouch.”  Gabriel faked a dramatically pained expression. “But, alrighty.  We can amend that.” His hand snaked down and wrapped around Sam’s cock as he asked, “How do you want it?”

He thrust into Gabriel’s fist, never taking his eyes off the man, and whimpered, “Just like this.  Need to see you.  So I don’t think you’ve left—”

And all over again, Gabriel could feel his own heart breaking.  What he’d put Sam through, the fact the man thought his tantrum may have been the last time he’d see him in his human life—  

_Jesus_ , he’d been such an asshole.  He was going to spend every fucking day making it up to him.

New mojo or not, he could still manifest things, and as he worked a single lubricated finger into Sam’s tight opening he promised, “I’ll never leave you again.   _Never_ , Sammy.”

He arched into Gabriel’s touch, and his body urged him to continue.  Even when Gabriel slid in a second and began stretching him, Sam never looked away.  His eyes were clouded with lust, he was mewling—but his eyes never wandered from Gabriel’s face.  Like he truly was afraid he’d disappear into thin air.

Fuck, it hurt Gabriel just as much as it probably hurt Sam.  And as soon as he felt the man’s rim was relaxed enough, he pushed in a third finger and went back to kissing the hell out of him.  He needed to prove to Sam how much he loved him, he wanted to make him feel good not just physically, but mentally and emotionally, too.  He needed to turn this idiotic worthlessness into the treasured person he deserved to feel like.

Sam’s jaw dropped open and he whimpered when Gabriel’s fingers grazed his prostate and his knees knocked against the archangel.  He pulled back and grabbed Gabriel’s face, making sure he had his attention.

“I’m ready, please,” he begged, like Gabriel would ever say no to him.

The archangel stole one more kiss before he nodded and shifted down Sam’s body to spread his legs obscenely wide.  As smooth as he could muster, he exchanged his fingers for the tip of his cock, and was thankful Sam’s gaze hadn’t left him.  He needed to know if this was too much, because it had been too long, and the last thing he wanted to do was—

Sam abruptly pitched forward, as soon as the thick head was inside him, and grabbed Gabriel’s hips to haul their bodies flush.  Gabriel felt like the wind was knocked out of his lungs, suddenly balls-deep and surrounded in the tight, amazing heat, while Sam was bucking off the bed with his head thrown back.  He couldn’t think straight for a few seconds, but he did know one thing:

“Goddammit, Sam!  If you hurt yourself—”

“Need it all,” he started murmuring, rolling his hips against Gabriel’s dick and filling him with tremors of pleasure. “Need to feel like I’m still human, not a…” He didn’t finish the sentence.  “I just want to _feel_.”

The way he emphasized it, Gabriel understood.  Although, he was pretty damn pissed off Sam had pulled that move and was probably stewing in a burning pain.  Sam was proving to himself he wasn’t a monster—because monsters didn’t hurt, they didn’t love, they didn’t experience any of this.  But that wasn’t important.

“Are you okay now?  Am I okay to—?”  Gabriel spoke softly, coaxing Sam back to him and waiting for him to tell him yes.

And when he did, he felt like he could breathe again.

He placed a kiss on the inside of Sam’s knee before he began to move.  He secretly loved the fact that Sam was watching him so closely, because what had begun as nerves turned into fascination and undeniable arousal.  Gabriel could see every moment of pleasure in Sam’s eyes, the way it was building, the way he was slowly losing control and was physically fighting to keep eye contact.

So Gabriel decided to make it easier for him.

He hauled Sam’s legs over his shoulders and bent him in half, fucking him deeper than before; but more importantly—now he was within range of his lips.

Sam took advantage of it right away, grabbing a handful of Gabriel’s hair and the back of his neck, tugging him close.  He cried out with abandon, the change in position allowing Gabriel to fuck him with intensity, and let him close his eyes.  The way Sam’s ass was clenching around Gabriel’s cock was about to send him teetering over the edge, so he reached to grab Sam’s dick and jerk him off between their bodies.

It barely took anything at all to get Sam to cum, just a few pumps of his wrist and he was covering both their bodies.  When Gabriel pulled away from his lips to let Sam catch his breath, the gorgeous image of Sam letting himself go and give in to the pleasure was what tipped Gabriel over.

As he came, his last few thrusts slammed relentlessly into Sam’s still tight body and he savored every second of it.  It was perfect, it felt like he was home—and he could _finally_ pick out the piece of Sam’s soul pulsing inside him.  There was a clarity he could pin-point and he couldn’t be more thankful to find it again.

It was Sam who slowly lowered his legs with a wince, and Gabriel knew the initial impact had pained the man.  Yet, he had to remember it was _Sam’s_ choice—he had deliberately done it, it was of his own doing for a _reason_.  And if it brought him back to Gabriel?  Well, he couldn’t be that upset.

When the archangel crawled up Sam’s back to hold him, he noticed the other man was watching him closely all over again, and he raised an eyebrow to question, “So… does this mean spooning is out of the question?”

“I—” Sam began to laugh and grabbed Gabriel to kiss him.  “Sorry.  I’m just…gun shy or something.”

He paused for a second, before asking very seriously, “Do you feel better?”

Sam took just as long to respond.  “I think so.”  With a serious stare, he asked, “Why do you put up with me?”

“’Cause I love you.”  There was no hesitation.  “And you put up with me.  We’re all kinds of flawed, Sam.  But I think that’s why we get each other.  And yer not gettin’ rid of me.  Ever.  So suck it.”

“Maybe next round.”

“There’s my sarcastic bitch!”  Gabriel launched himself on top of Sam and licked obscene kisses into his mouth before pulling away.  “Mm, I’m totally alright with this.  So the real question,” he paused and wiggled his eyebrows.

“What?” Sam asked hesitantly, his heart skipping a beat after the surprise attack.

“Will you be my hot date?”

“Hot date?”  He was adorably confused, like a lost puppy.

“To the party, duh!”  Gabriel ruffled his hair with a wide smile.  “Don’t leave me hangin’ here.”

Sam pursed his lips, before he finally gave in and groaned, “Fine.  Fine.  You fucking win.”

“I _love_ winning!”  He grabbed Sam’s face and nuzzled him, “Woulda been sad if you turned me down.”

Sam looked at the archangel, who was practically purring, now pinning him to the bed and groaned dramatically, “You wouldn’t have let me.  You’re too much of a pain in the ass.”

“I could make _so many_ innuendoes.”

“Nap, then innuendoes?  Or party?  Or…whatever.”  Sam shrugged his shoulders, knowing he was helpless and couldn’t say no.

“Of course.  Now.  Big or little spoon?”

“Just fucking hold me.”

“I missed that bitchface.”

\-------------------

Jo walked back into the kitchen, visibly pale, and Charlie rushed to her side.

“Oh my God!  Are you alright?  What happened, Jo?  Did—”

Jo cut her off with a sharp gesture of her hand.  “Just, don’t.  Now I know how you feel.”

With a quizzical expression, Charlie took a step back from where she was crowding her space and nodded slowly, repeating the phrase, “How I feel?”

“I was trying to spread word about what time we were having the party.”  Her face hadn’t changed from the moment she walked in.  “Let’s just say Sam and Gabriel have…reconciled.  I’ll just assume they’re RSVPing.”

A hand flew up to cover her mouth, and Charlie began nearly cackling.

Ellen turned around the corner with amusement and asked, “Anyone wanna tell me why Charlie’s suddenly the Wicked Witch’a the new world?”

“Don’t, Mom.  Just… Stay away from Sam’s room.  If you don’t want to be traumatized for life.”  She robotically moved to the stovetop.  “Give me something to cook.  Something to do.  Before I drown myself in bleach.”

Her mother couldn’t help but snicker as well.  “How about you call down an angel and spread word to our friends?  Or get a hold of ’em yourself?  Take care of the rest of the party list?”

“Yeah, I’ll do that.”  Jo turned on her heels to head outside.

Not only did she need some fresh air and new scenery, Hannah was always a good distraction from the traumatic sounds she had just heard.  She didn’t even have time to be happy for them, she was scarred for goddamned life.

\-----------------------

After everything that had happened, Benny was ecstatic to see Andrea and excitedly fell into her arms the moment he was within reach.  The woman laughed and rubbed circles on his back before she even opened her mouth.  They had an unspoken communication, and she knew that her lover needed the moment to gather himself then.

However, the second they drew apart, she raised an eyebrow and quipped, “What did you get yourself into?”

“’Sides almost getting smote a few times?” he asked with a toothy grin. “There was…a lot.  Glad I went up there to help out.  Things worked out, though.  But, fuck, it was touch ’n go there for a while, darlin’. I’m happy to be back.”  Benny allowed himself to feel the warmth of her gaze before adding, “But I need to go and release a King’a Hell right now.  So give me a sec?”

Andrea’s eyes widened a fraction before she carefully pronounced, “Should I accompany you?”

“Nah, don’t wanna worry about you getting caught in any temper tantrums,” he pressed a kiss to her forehead, “I’ll be back.”

Before he could leave, she reached out and grabbed his wrist with a sharp, “Benny.  Is…Gabriel all right?”

The vampire schooled his features before he turned around to face her.  “To be honest?  I’m not sure.  I think he will be.  He’s on track.”

With furrowed brows, she repeated back, “On track?  What does that mean?”

“Him and Sam are back, I’m pretty sure,” he exhaled and laced their fingers together, “But Sam’s got some baggage that needs sortin’.  And Gabe’ll need to be there for him.”

A strangely sincere smile lit up Andrea’s face and she nodded once.  “Good.  Then he’ll be fine.”

With a tilt of his head, Benny began to say, “It’s gonna take a—”

She swatted his shoulder playfully and admonished him with, “He’s got his love back.  That’s all it takes.  Now, go take care of the demon.”

Benny chuckled and quirked a crooked grin, “You’re something else.  But I know better than to doubt you.”

“You’re well trained, dear,” she winked, squeezed his hand and let go.

With an amused huff, Benny let their eyes linger for a few seconds before he marched down the hallway towards Gabriel’s quarters.  Andrea’s words were playing on repeat in his head, and the more he thought about them the more he realized just how true they were.  He had a smart woman, he’d known that from day one, but she was also wise.  Love truly was the one thing that could bring anyone back from the edge.

Even though the vampire had witnessed a tense and frantic scene, it was nothing but progress in disguise.  It was pure hope.

They would get their leader back, their King of Purgatory—and now that Sam was alive and with him it would be a new era, a _better_ one.  Well, as good as one could expect in a land of monsters.

Benny opened the door that had been previously warded by Gabriel, only allowing him access to see Crowley standing in the Devil’s Trap with a look to kill.  Not that the vampire blamed him—if an archangel had held him captive after agreeing to be allies without so much as a seat to lounge in for this amount of time, he would probably look downright murderous, too.

Which had Benny opening the communication with, “I’m letting ya out, boss.”

“Now, before you do that, I must insist you tell me under what circumstances.”  His voice was dangerously low as he crossed his arms and stopped Benny in his tracks.  “Gabriel didn’t leave me with much in the way of a parting gift, so you’ll understand my hesitance to dash on back home.”

“Business was handled.”  He didn’t want to give away more information than necessary.  “Anna and Meg are still alive, on the condition that they cease and desist their attempts at overthrowing Hell.  Or Gabriel will personally execute them.”

“Is that so?”  Crowley wasn’t showing all of his cards either, but the slyest of grins did tug on his lips.  “May I get that in writing?”

“Heh,” Benny shook his head and scoffed.  “Listen, brother, the last thing Gabriel wants to deal with right now is you.  He sent me here to let you out of your little prison ’cause you’d probably wanna head on home—so don’t get cocky.  Way I see it, Gabriel did you a mighty big favor, and now’s not the time to ask more of him.”

“Well then, I can only assume he’s tied up with his Moose,” the demon cooed out. “I’ll have to send them flowers.  Well, what are you waiting for?  If I have a throne awaiting me, I’d like to get back and begin _sweeping_ up what those bitches _fucked_ up.”

“What do you think I’ve been trying to do this entire time?”  He groaned and pulled his knife from where it was sheathed at his hip.  “Now, remember.  Gabriel chose to let Meg and Anna live, so you honor those orders, too.”

“Cross my heart.”  Crowley’s voice was dripping with sarcasm as he watched Benny scratch the outside line of the circle, breaking the warding.  “Well.  I’d say it was a pleasure, but that would be a bloody lie.  Tootles.”

With a wave of his fingers, he was gone.

Benny felt a surge of relief because, even though there was no reason for the demon to harm him, their kind were wild cards.  But Crowley was smart enough to know that hurting or killing Benny, Gabriel’s right-hand man, would have been a declaration of war all by itself.  When Gabriel had just won the King his crown back.  Still, the exhale of relief was there as was the vanished weight when he walked back into the main ballroom to see Andrea.

She was sitting out on one of the lounges and once she heard his footsteps approach, announced, “Tessa was here.”

“Tessa?” he echoed. “Why?  What did she say?”

“Apparently, she passing around party invitations,” there was an impish grin on her face.  “Is it too soon to head back to Earth?”

Although he was taken aback, he soon regained his composure and realized, “Well, we do have a lot to celebrate, don’t we?”

“Things you _still_ have to tell me,” she pointed a finger at him, “and we have a few hours for you to relay your story.  And then we’ll go to the party.”

“I can tell your mind’s made up.”  Benny swung around the outside of the lounge and picked her up just enough so he could rearrange her on his lap.

She giggled and admitted, “It’s been awhile since I’ve visited.  And you made me look over things in your absence.  So, obviously I’m not going to turn down such a lovely invitation.  From a Reaper, no less.”

“It’s fine, _cher_.  I think it will be good for us.  Where should I start the story from?” he mused, pulling her closer with his arms and stealing a quick kiss.

With a heavy eye roll, she prompted, “Probably from the part where the _Winchesters_ came back to _life_?”

“Yeah, that would as good’a start as any.”


	17. Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Charlie sidled up next to Jo and wrapped an arm around her waist, tucking her chin in the crook of her neck. “Whatcha thinkin’, babe?”_
> 
> _“I just...” she huffed and shook her head._
> 
> _Dean’s brow creased as he watched his best friend and asked, “Yeah...what’s on your mind?”_
> 
> _Finally, brown eyes flashed up in puzzlement and she honestly gushed, “Do angels, reapers, and demons even eat?!”_
> 
> _Charlie burst out laughing while Dean ran a hand through his hair and bit his lip to keep from doing the same because Jo looked so damn concerned. There was one thing he knew for sure:_
> 
> _“I dunno if they eat, but they sure as hell drink and that‘s good enough for me!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached the grand finale, my wonderful readers! I hope you like the conclusion, and be sure to read the note at the very end :)
> 
> Also, I wanted to give a HUGE shout-out to my love [Kayla](http://kaylamariemarrero.tumblr.com/), who beta read this chapter! Couldn't have finished it up without you, babe!

During the beginning stages, when the team from the Underground were working to rebuild Earth, their first priority was based around necessities.  That included crops, food, salvaging anything usable from the reborn Earth, along with housing and creating basic, livable civilization for the population.  Once the people felt confident, and with the help of the angels, they grew independent and branched out.   
  
That’s when they began dabbling in the things that made life worth living.

Eventually, around year three, there were stores.

The stored mimicked the style of the marketplace found in the Underground because it felt natural, it felt like home.  Yet, with much more resources at their disposal it wasn’t only the bare minimum of goods they had for sale.  
  
The people of the reborn Earth could show off their skills.  Of course, there were grocery stores for the farmers, but there were also specialty stores.  Woodworkers crafted furniture to help with new houses, and there were many different kinds of garment shops so people could dabble in fashion again.  Those who forged iron made kitchenware, and simple living was slowly returning. 

Those who were medically trained began opening their own practices.   
  
But the practitioners with a medical background had to _work_ to earn those clinics.  It wasn’t as easy as telling an angel, “We need an antibiotic.”  They needed to reach back into their memories, into med school, and draw out diagrams of precisely what components made up the various medications they would be prescribing their future patients.   
  
It took all kinds, and it was Garth who led the movement.  He gathered those people into a group: the physicians, the specialists, hell, the veterinarians.  After all, he, himself, was a dentist.  They formed a packet of sorts, broken down into such basic materials that the angels would be able to gather and then they could chemically construct the meds themselves.  Once they had a stable (and correct) medication, it was then the angels assigned to working with the group could study it and replicate them.   
  
But it took the group a while to get to that phase.  Once they did?  They were golden.  Everyone had their projects when it came to knitting the new world back together.  

Soon after, the arts finally came back into the picture.  Those who wanted a taste of normalcy, rather than just basic survival, could finally attain it.  
  
A few studios opened, followed by art galleries where they used a bartering system rather than a money-based economy.  Just like in the Underground, it was about people working for people, not paying one another off.  And finally being able to decorate their homes, finally being able to show self-expression that was color by vibrant brush strokes rather than the sickening end looming (leaving anyone with talent tired and uninspired) was a vision of just how far they’d come.   
  
Of course, the people were more than willing to trade some of their fresh food from the farmer’s market for a brilliant, gorgeous piece of art.  Now that they had that option, that luxury, it was a blessing to everyone’s morale.  It continued to fuel those gifted with creativity and added even more joy to the growing excitement within the community.   
  
Everyone was finally coming alive.

While the Underground crew worked out of a Headquarters, much like they had during their oppression, they used the location to create their own hub of lore, spell ingredients, and everything that could combat things that went bump in the night; that was for _them_.  They liked the security of being together, having grown close as a family, but they weren’t without their own little guilty pleasure.

Just as the Underground had created their Roadhouse Version 2.0, Ellen and Jo had decided it was only fair, and a tradition, that they create a brand new _3.0_.

Except this time, they could make it larger than their small, one-room gathering hall that resided within their previous safe haven.

When it was finally unveiled to Dean by a bouncing Charlie, he found himself laughing, “Shit!  This is almost the spitting image of the original!” as he entered the honest-to-God _replica_ of the establishment he’d remembered from his damn childhood, constructed only a few doors down from their home.

“Stop gawking and help me carry this shit!”  Jo called after him from behind the bar where, apparently, there was a kitchen.

“Hey!  I was, like, dead a few hours ago!”  He defended, but followed after her obediently.

“And now you’re not.”  Her voice was coated in a sugary glaze as she slapped the table twice with her open palm, “So help me move these appetizers!”

With a groan, Dean swung his body dramatically, then asked Charlie, “Why do you put up with her?”

“’Cause she’s hot and awesome in the sack?”  The redhead wiggled her eyebrows with a skip in her step, following close behind to offer her help, too.

“Didn’t need to know that!  You’re both like my sisters!”  He made a face to reflect his disgust.  “So it’s basically incest!”

“Don’t you even go there, Winchester!”  Jo gestured to the bowls of chips and dip, random assortments of veggies, and a smorgasbord of baked snacks before her _dictator tone_ kicked in and she snapped, “We’re putting all these on the center table!  Gotta get these out before our guests start arriving!”

Dean scooped up as many things as he could carry before he questioned, “Guests?  Seriously... There are barely a handful’a people at HQ.  Who did you invite?”

With a Cheshire-like grin, Charlie grabbed a few items and stated, “Well, we never _really_ celebrated the whole ‘Whoo-hoo! We totes beat the Trilogy!’ because we were too busy in friggin mourning over you and Sam, so now that you two are here, we can have our huge celebration!”

“Wait.”  Dean faltered in his steps.  “So this isn’t just everyone in the building?  This is-?”

“Everyone from the team!  All our allies that made the win possible.”   Jo hip-bumped him while she passed by on route to the table.  “Which is why I’ve got more shit cooking in the oven and why we need to check out the booze supply.  You’re gonna see some old faces you haven’t seen in awhile and they’re gonna be happy to see _your_ alive-and-well ass.”

By the end of her comment, her voice had melted from its earlier sarcasm to something akin to pure joy.  To be honest, those were words Jo never thought she would get the chance to say.  This was a party she never thought she would get the chance to host and all of it was kind of... _surreal_.

When she began setting out the food, she put her hands on her hips and appeared deep in thought.

Charlie sidled up next to her and wrapped an arm around her waist, tucking her chin in the crook of Jo’s neck.  “Whatcha thinkin’, babe?”

“I just...” she huffed and shook her head.

Dean’s brow creased as he watched his best friend and asked, “Yeah...what’s on your mind?”

Finally, brown eyes flashed up in puzzlement and she honestly gushed, “Do angels, reapers, and demons even eat?!”

Charlie burst out laughing while Dean ran a hand through his hair and bit his lip to keep from doing the same because Jo looked so damn concerned.  There was one thing he knew for sure:

“I dunno if they eat, but they sure as hell _drink_ and that‘s good enough for me!”

\-----------------------

The Roadhouse began filling up with familiar faces in no time.

Ones that Dean was shocked to see in the best way possible.

He hadn’t realized how happy he’d be wrapping his arms around people like Victor, Amelia, Lisa, and even Andrea when Benny brought her back with him from Purgatory.  He high-fived Kevin and Garth, thanking the latter, now that he was among the land of the living, and thought it was hilarious when the girls gave him the two-drink-limit-speech.  It was definitely for the best. God knows he’d go zero to sloppy in the blink of an eye.  If it were up to him, Dean would have cut him off at one.

Hell, he didn’t even mind when Ruby showed up with Tessa.  He’d heard through the grapevine that neither Reaper had ever given up hope locating both their souls.  Which was legit as fuck.  He and Sam probably wouldn’t have even been here now if it wasn’t for the two women.

Speaking of, when Gabriel and Sam finally made their entrance, Dean felt like he could finally breathe.

What happened inside his head had been _heavy_.

“Heavy” being an understatement.  What happened couldn’t be accurately described by any words, yet they had lived through it and made it out together.

He already knew if there was anyone to get his little brother back on his feet, to help him through what happened in a way even Dean couldn’t do, it was a pain in the ass like Gabriel.

Needless to say, he didn’t blame Sam one bit when he veered off to the bar to grab to drink before he headed Dean’s way.

“Hey,” Sam greeted once he made it over while glancing around, appraising the building, “I can’t believe they pulled this off!  Even when you were, uh, comatose, I stuck inside Headquarters.  I didn’t even know they’d rebuilt another Roadhouse, but it‘s pretty much _identical_.”

“It’s fuckin’ awesome, right?”  Dean lit up following his brother’s gaze.  “Just like before.  Ya know, if this is all you see, it’s almost like we can go back and pretend.  Pretend that we’re little kids with Ellen chasin’ us around with the spatula while mom and dad-” he shook his head with a laugh.  “It’s just homey, ya know?”

“It’s fan-fuckin’-tastic, is what it is!”  Gabriel grinned and smacked Sam on the butt.  “I mean, I never saw the original, but I helped out when they were throwing together the plans.  Knew it was something important to the team, so I snuck away from Purgatory for a hot sec to help them get everything they needed for it.”

“Wait.   _You_ helped build this?” Dean raised an eyebrow in complete disbelief.

“If by ‘build’ you ‘mean materialize certain décor that couldn’t be found in the new world,’ then yes,” he clucked his tongue.  “Gals knew the angels wouldn’t care enough to help them with arts and crafts so they didn’t bother.  Me, on the other hand?  I helped decorate a plane _over_.  I thought it would be fun to lend a hand here.  Plus...” He barely shot a half-second glance in Sam’s direction.  “It was a good distraction.  God knows these kids are better company than leviathans and the rouge shape shifters who tried to test me in the first few years.  Not like the deep-frying wasn’t cathartic, though.”

“Huh... Good on you.”  Dean crossed his arms with a grin, but then asked without preamble (just because he’d never been given the chance), “Do you like it?”

“Like what?” The archangel tilted his head at the question.

“Uh, ruling Purgatory.”  He caught Cas out of the corner of his eye and waved him over with a grin.

Cas looked visibly relieved that Sam and Gabriel were all right when he dove right in with, “What have I missed?”

“Dean just asked what Gabe thought about ruling Purgatory,” Sam was the one who spoke up.  “I was wondering that, too, actually.”

“At the risk of sounding like an asshole?”  He chuckled, “I kind of love it.  It’s...familiar.  I mean, how many fuckers prayed to the archangel Gabriel?  How many human sacrifices were made to the God Loki?  I ain’t afraid of being feared or worshiped.  And the best part?  I’m leading and in charge of the monsters.  I don’t have to worry about splitting hairs and regarding _human_ lives.  Or for that matter, _disregarding_ them.  Not like I did much of that when playing Trickster.  I’m a dick.  Being in charge over there, it...I guess it feels _natural_.  Don’t have to worry about angels or fam getting in my way.  Don’t have to worry about annoying demons...” Gabriel shrugged releasing a deep breath.  “The only thing that felt wrong about it was that I didn’t have Sam.”

Sam knew he was blushing at the last comment, but everything Gabriel said had made sense to him.  Gabriel never been squeaky-clean.  And the way he spoke about Purgatory?  He seemed to come alive.  It agreed with him and Sam knew this was something they needed to talk about.  Soon.  Tonight, if possible because...shit.    
  
No...he couldn’t think about it right now.

In fact, right before his brother started speaking, he tossed back the rest of his drink and wandered back to the bar with a, “Gotcha.  Be right back.”

Dean watched Sam retreat and made sure he was far enough away before he leaned forward and said, “I get it.  And, dude, good on you, but... What’s gonna happen with _Sam_?”

“What’s gonna happen with _you two_?” Gabriel countered quickly as he looked between the pair.  “I know you snatched up my grace, Deano, and I know it’s forever.”

“Uh-”

Where Dean stumbled, Cas picked up the slack.  “I’ve asked him to come back to Heaven with me.  And he’s agreed.”

“I can answer myself!”  He smacked the angel on the shoulder.

“Clearly not as fast as I need you to.”  Gabriel kept a close eye on Sam’s proximity.  “Anyway, I want Sam to come back with me, too.  Especially if you’re cloud-surfing.  I _can’t_ let him go again.  And I know he thinks he fucked up, that he’s a monster because of the blood, but if he’s surrounded by the _real_ monsters?  He’s gonna realize just how human he is.”

Although Dean frowned, he had to admit, “That actually makes sense.  But is he gonna be safe?  If he’s not safe, then you better fucking believe-”

“Hell no,” Gabriel groaned from where he was watching to the left of Dean, over his shoulder.

“Hell no, what?”  He repeated and blinked, looking to where Gabriel was focused.

“Sammy's been intercepted.”  The archangel ran a hand through his hair and bitched, “Something tells me this is Hannah’s half-assed attempt at an apology.”

\-----------------------

Jo and Charlie had made Sam do a shot with them when he went for a refill on his drink.  They were playing hostess along with Ellen, who was currently watching the food supply beside a put-out Bobby.  The two younger women’s goal was really to test the waters and make sure Sam was better than he was from their previous encounter.

Even though Jo had “heard things she could never unhear” didn’t mean everything was peachy.  After all, some could view it as a form of avoidance and she wanted to confirm he’d stepped away from the ledge from the man himself.  Sam assured them everything was alright and that Gabriel did what he always did, which had turned into a dirty joke and then the truth: that Gabriel gotten through to him.

He left them with an easy smile and a very, very strong drink, but when he turned around to head back to the group, he nearly collided into another person.

Who happened to be Hannah.

Her featured were set in stone and it was Sam who had to back away, since the woman was forgetful about personal space.

“Sam,” she began oddly hesitant for how determined she looked. “I believe I owe you an apology.”

He really didn’t want to deal with this right now, so he plastered on a fake smile and shook his head, “No, you don’t.  We’re fine.  Jo and Charlie are making drinks.  You should grab one and enjoy the party.”

“But the party is to celebrate Dean’s and your return,” she earnestly told him, “and I need you to understand how happy I am that we got you back.  I was too distracted before and didn’t look at the bigger picture.  Sam, please understand that any impression I gave you was not what I meant.  We should have kept you with us as we waited for Gabriel.   _You_ were the hero who saved Dean and I should have treated you as such rather than-”

“No offense.”  Sam reached out and patted her on the shoulder. “But this is painful to listen to.  I get it, Hannah.  Everything’s good now.  I forgive you.  Let’s all move past it, okay?”

She chewed her lip, unsure if he was brushing her off or not, but pressed, “I’m so glad you’re back, Sam.  Truly.”

“I believe you.  Thank you.”  His words were honest.  Then he pointed a finger and suggested, “Loosen up.  I’m serious about that drink.”

With a soft smile, she took her leave and another voice perked up behind him, “Well, _I’ll_ gladly say you’re the fuckin’ hero to this story!”

Sam didn’t have to fake any relief as he turned around and excitedly greeted, “Ruby!” and the woman wrapped her arms around him.  “I haven’t seen you around in forever!”

The brunette grinned and tossed her hair over her shoulder when she admitted, “Well, reaper duty called.  I thought changing my job would just involve a badass scythe and immortality, but _apparently,_ I have to do real work.  What the fuck, right?”  Then she leaned in and whispered, “Plus, your boyfriend kind of has it out for me.  Like, in the murderous way.  And if anyone can off a reaper, it’s an archangel slash Purgatory King, ya know?”

Sam winced but agreed, “Yeah, I do.  But, hell, I’m glad you showed up.  I missed you.  This really is a huge reunion party.”

“Sure is.  If _I_ got an invitation?  You bet your ass everyone and their second-cousin-half-removed did, too.”  She rolled her eyes then punched him in the shoulder, “And, hey.  I missed you, too.  How awkward was _that_ angel apology?  I think that’s a typical halo thing, though.  She did her best.  Even if it sucked dick.”

He snorted and nodded, “Yeah, it’s been a really rough day.”

Ruby watched him.  Honestly watched him.  She analyzed his body language, his facial expressions, and the things the naked eye couldn’t see, but what the power of a Reaper could behold.  Although Sam looked confused under the depth of her scrutiny, she didn’t back off.  She simply smiled.

“You’re gonna be good, Sammy.”  She finally announced, putting a hand on her hip.  “I know you’re worried that the blood changed you.  And, yeah, you’ve got a fuck-ton in your system, but it didn’t change anything about who _you_ are.  Just pumped you up like some steroids.  Your core’s not different.  Not like it was when you drank from Gabriel and me.   _That_ time it changed you, but this didn't.”  She took a few bold steps forward and stood on the tips of her toes so she could rest her chin on his shoulder and whisper, “It won’t go away because it was the demon‘s life force.  You’ll keep the power.  But you’re not someone or _something_ different.  I can see your soul, hotshot.  You’re gonna be okay.”

When she pulled away slowly, their eyes locked.  Sam’s were as wide as Ruby’s were assertive.  She grinned, ran a hand through Sam’s hair, and told him point-blank, “You’re not an ‘abomination.’  I‘m pretty positive the boss-man won't be coming for you.  Doesn‘t mean Earth is gonna be your best friend, though.  You've outgrown it.”

“I…” Sam was confounded, but felt a swell of emotions he couldn’t even describe.  All he could think to say was, “Thank you-” right before someone else had hurried up into the space and was shoving Ruby away.

“Really?  When are you going to take the fucking hint?”  Gabriel growled at the reaper.

“Gabe, she’s fine,” Sam grabbed the man’s arm and pulled him back.  “She...is more than fine.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?!”  The archangel was close to fuming at the haughty expression on Ruby’s face and Sam’s expression of clarity.

“I’m not as tainted as I thought,” Sam explained, turning his entire body to face the other man.

“So you’ll listen to her and not _me_?”  Gabriel narrowed his eyes as Ruby nearly cackled from behind them.

She announced, “I’m gonna get a drink!” and disappeared quickly because she always loved to cause trouble, even though she had every intention of helping Sam, and her job was done.

“Hey, listen...  She can see my soul in a way no one else can,” he tried again. “I’m still... _me_.  It didn’t change who I am like it did when we were Trifecta.  But I’m never going to lose the blood or the power.”  He looked down to his shoes because although half the news was great?  The other half wasn’t.

Especially Ruby’s words about “outgrowing Earth.”  Because they rang true.

Gabriel took both of his hands and forced his gaze upward with the jolting words of, “Come be my Queen, jackass.”

“ _What_?”  Sam squinted and looked affronted.

“All right, I had a _way_ more romantic proposal planned out, but seeing Ruby hanging all over you and then you getting all emo over everything just made me blurt out the dumbest thing I could have said,” Gabriel grumbled under his breath before he tried again.  “I want you to come back to Purgatory with me.  I’ll even letcha rule alongside me.  You can zap any demons who try to sneak in the borders, live a life of luxury, but most importantly?  We’ll be together.”

Sam began chuckling so hard his sides began to hurt and he had to wait for his laughter to subside before confirming, “Yeah, that was much better than ‘be my Queen, jackass.’”

“So?”  Gabriel pulled him closer.  “You’ll have free reign.  Let me know anything you want to sweeten the pot.  It’s yours.”

Just to be a pain, Sam raised an eyebrow and asked, “What about another Hellhound puppy?”

“Fuck, I’ll give you an Iditarod team of ’em.  _Anything_ you want, kid!”  Gabriel pulled him downward into a kiss and then held him with their eyes locked with the question, “Is that a yes?”

“Yeah.”  He nodded.  “I don’t wanna leave you again.  And from the way you talk about Purgatory?  I’m kind of curious to see just how you lead.”  The last comment was said with a mischievous grin.

“I won’t let you down. You get to see my naughty side.”  Gabriel winked and nipped Sam’s bottom lip right before he announced, “C’mon!  Let’s celebrate!  This is your party, after all.”

“I keep forgetting that,” Sam admitted and let himself be pulled back to the bar.  “Be ready for an earful from Jo about being traumatized.  Just a warning.”

\----------------------------

Dean and Cas were in an angelic-grace-powered competition, going shot for shot along the bar top when a strangely familiar voice perked up that Dean didn’t recognize, but had Jo and Charlie’s eyes widened.  Cas turned around abruptly to see the woman standing behind them with an impish grin on her face while she announced, “I thought it was about time that I met _the_ Dean Winchester.”

“Bela?!”  The angel’s jaw dropped at the gorgeous brunette.  One who appeared very full of herself to get the drop on them.  “I thought you were overseas, developing-”

“I heard through the grapevine that the boys who saved the world were back,” she swiftly interrupted and turned to the man who was looking at her in confusion, “Thought I should introduce myself.  Hello, I’m Bela Talbot.”

It was Jo who explained, when Dean shook her hand, “Bela, um... She worked for the Trilogy and actually saved me when Balthazar double-crossed us. _And_ she helped us release the grace Lucifer stole.”

“Oh, wow.”  Dean’s eyes widened.  “Thanks.  We couldn’t have won without you.  That’s awesome.”

“I like to put my bets on the winning horse.  Or, in that case, the living one.”  She grinned and gestured to the angel.  “Castiel reached out to me quite a few times to see if I’d heard any whispers if you were around.  Sad to say I always had bad news.”

“Bela is,” Cas said, turning his attention back to Dean, “a procurer of information and, these days, rare objects.”

“It’s how I live as lavishly as I did when I was with the Trilogy,” she explained, then caught someone out of the corner of her eye.  “Well, I should be on my way.  Just wanted to stop in and say I’m happy for you, Castiel.  You deserve your happily ever after.  And it was nice to meet you, Dean.  I know we all owe our lives to you.”

She waved and gracefully departed right as Bobby ran up in a huff and demanded, “Was that Bela?!”

Castiel blinked owlishly and asked, “Yes.  May I ask why?”

“Someone hit up HQ and was in the pantry!  Goddammit!  I shoulda been watchin’!  She’s been tryin’ to grab the ingredients for a hexbag for ages, now!”  He cursed under his breath, but before he could charge after her, Ellen was beside him grabbing his collar.

“She’s long gone by now.  Little sneak.”  She sighed heavily and released Bobby's shirt, who was still huffing and puffing.  “Any excuse to get a go at our supplies.  We better head over'n take an inventory, make sure she doesn’t take _another_ run at us.”  Ellen ducked around the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey.  “We’ll be needing this.  Be back, kids.”

“Woah.”  Dean was baffled and nearly speechless, as he turned around to the angel and demanded, “That was a hit and run, wasn’t it?”

“I’d say it was nice to see she was doing well, but that was very much typical Bela fashion.”  His scowl only lasted a second before he shrugged and admitted, “At least Hannah or the other angels will be quick to replace supplies.  Even if we cannot track her.”

“Damn.”  Jo whistled, “Nothing we can do about it now.  Where were we in your shot competition, boys?!”

And just like that, everything went back to normal, minus the absence of a disgruntled Ellen and Bobby, who were now digging through their magical pantry with a fifth of liquor, undoubtedly chugging as they went.

\----------------------

Although Castiel didn’t think much of it, something shifted in the party when Meg arrived.  The only thing he found strange was the fact that Anna wasn’t accompanying her and she didn’t head directly towards anyone in the group.  She made small talk along the edges, but for the most part people were...ignoring her?

Eventually, she found her place chatting with Tessa and Ruby.  Cas dismissed that there was anything wrong completely even though there was a strange tension that now laid in Dean’s shoulders.

But he was also quite drunk and currently dragging everyone at the party into doing a shot with him.

It warmed Cas’ heart because for a while (a while was a euphemism, at best), he never thought he’d have this again.

He never thought Dean would return to him.  After those long years of searching, followed by his choice to remain in the coma, withering away, Castiel had thought he would die along with him.  God... Now that he had been given the chance, he would show the man how thankful he was for the rest of their lives.  Which, Castiel was almost positive with the newly factored in grace, would be eternity.  Even if Dean was still human, Castiel would gladly pass down his leadership role in Heaven to spend his time in Dean’s heaven without hesitation.

That’s what true love was.  And he felt it with every bone in his body.

Shit...

Maybe it was the alcohol that was making him sentimental, but he couldn’t get past the fact that he had ended up so lucky.  Especially since the odds had been stacked against them at every turn.

As he glanced over to his brother and Sam, he could see they’d found their happiness as well.  Gabriel had mentioned through loose-lips that Sam had agreed to return to Purgatory with him and he’d never seen the archangel happier than when he realized there was nothing keeping him from Sam.  Castiel understood the sentiment.  After all, two angels falling for two humans presented many hurdles.

Now, because of their trials and struggles, they’d individually attained new elements that landed them exactly where they wanted to be.  Maybe it was karma.  Maybe it was fate. Or maybe they’d just fought hard enough to earn it.  

After all, God was dead... Nothing more than an echo...

And they’d earned their happy ending without the influence of a higher power.

They were _their own_ higher power. _They_ made this happen and now it was time to celebrate their win.

Castiel wasn’t expecting it when he felt a small hand grab his bicep then proceed to flag him away from the party.  His brows furrowed together as he followed the woman not just away from the crowd, but out through the double doors of the bar into the crisp night air.  She must have waited until there was a lull because no one followed them or seemed confused by their absence.

The normally confident Meg was cradling her cup with hesitation before she could even look him in the eyes.

So it was Cas who slowly prompted her with, “Is there something you want to talk about?”

“Yeah,” she huffed out.  “There is.”

He observed her, giving her the time she needed before she drew in a deep breath.

“It’s my fault.  I’m one of the reasons Dean stayed in that coma.”  She finally lifted her gaze to meet his blue eyes with a fierce determination.  “I know when they merged, Dean didn’t _just_ get the memories from hell back.  He got _all_ the memories...ones that happened from when the demon half of him was on Earth and I-”

She was babbling and Cas had to reach out and grab her arm to steady her.  “Meg...Dean _chose_ to be in that coma because of the actions of that demon.  They in no way reflect on-”

“Bloodlust, Cas.”  His comrade tore away from him.  “We were caught up in the adrenaline from the takeover in Hell and Anna and I... We... It happened so quick and things escalated.  He wasn’t thinking.  We weren’t thinking.  Then the goddamn proverbial one thing led to another...and when _human_ Dean got the memories back, I’m almost positive he thought _he’d_ cheated on you.  We were all so hyped up.  We took advantage of the demon and we tricked him into being...” Meg could only sugarcoat it to, “Unfaithful...”

“ _That’s_ why Gabriel threw us in Dean’s dream.  Because he knew Dean had the memory of what happened and it was our fault he wasn’t coming back.”  She shook her head and took a few steps back because she couldn’t bear to face a friend she loved so deeply and had betrayed.  “I’m so, _so_ fucking sorry.  I know it’s unforgivable.  I just needed to come here tonight to tell you because you deserved to know and now I’ll fuck off back to where I came from.”

Cas was frozen in place, floundering to figure out what to say because the revelation was something that stabbed him deep.  Especially coming from Meg.  But at the same time...

It made a sick kind of sense.

“That’s why he refused to merge with the demon,” he realized aloud, but cleared his throat and told her, “But that’s not the _only_ reason, Meg. You _know that_.”

She jerked up to see Cas’ laser-sharp focus on her.  “Clarence...  All things heaven and hell..  All things that happened down in the pit...  I think hurting _you_ shoots right up to the top of the list.  Remember?”  She said wryly, “He carved into all of us without blinking, but _never_ hurt you.  Second half of him gets topside?  He hurts you in a way that slices and stabs deeper than a fuckin’ knife.”

The angel deflated because Meg looked so crushed and even in spite of all the mixed emotions and shock winding him up with pain, she needed to be reminded, “That wasn’t Dean.  We...both need to remember that.  The real Dean?  _Our_ Dean?  He’d never succumb to temptation like that.   _You’d_ never be compelled to take advantage of him like that.  While it’s hard to process, I forgive you.  Because that monster was a shell.  One that hell had created.  Not our comrade.”

Meg was stunned by what she was hearing.  She’d expected disgust, outrage, and to be cut out of the angel’s life forever.  That’s what she felt like she deserved.    
  
But here Cas was showing her sympathy, telling her she wasn’t at fault for what happened, even though she felt with every fiber of her being she was.  She nearly jerked away when he walked closer towards her and set a hand on her shoulder.

“I’ve known you a long time and you’ve been one of my closest, trusted comrades for as long as I can remember.”  He took in a deep breath and steadied himself.  “And I have to acknowledge that, well...as much as I’ve always seen past it, you, yourself, _are_ a demon.”  He wore an ironic half-grin.  “While you’re the _best_ demon I’ve ever known, you’re still born of dark impulses no matter how much you control them.  You may have made a mistake, but I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”

Her jaw dropped and she tilted her head when she admitted, “There’s no way he’ll talk to me.  I don’t blame him.  He hates me.  I’d hate me, too.”

“If you’re truly sorry, think of it as atonement.”  The angel’s lips were pursed into a fine line.  “He’ll be drunk before long.  I suspect you may have an easier time wrangling him into a conversation then.”

Meg actually laughed at that and nodded.  “You know him too well.  I’ll do my best.”  When Cas let go of his grasp on her arm, she had to push one more time.  “Just...I’m so sorry.”

“Tell Dean that,” the angel repeated as they both headed back into the building.

While the discovery filled Cas with a bad taste in his mouth, it also offered an explanation he didn't know he needed.  If everything hadn’t turned out alright, his reaction may have been different, but as it stood, he needed to be the bigger person and chose forgiveness because of how fortunate he was to have the love of his life back.  He didn’t want to hold a grudge against Meg.  The last thing he wanted to do was hate the woman he’d always held so dear.  And every word he spoke was the truth: The demon was not their Dean.

Meg, however, was filled with trepidation and nerves as they marched back inside.    
  
Not only did she see the scornful looks both Gabriel and some of her previous friends were sending her, but she’d also only seen the back of Dean’s head, who was outright ignoring her.  But if this was what she had to do to make things right?  She was being given a hell of an easy way out.

\-------------------------

Although there had been a slew of interesting faces, no one had completely stopped the party until a single man walked in.  Upon his arrival, you could hear a pin drop in the room.

Crowley strode proudly over to where Gabriel was perched on the edge of a table, chatting with a few of the crew, and he waved over to Charlie.  “You wouldn’t happen to have a good bourbon, would you, love?”

The redhead raised an eyebrow and commented, “Depends on what you consider good.”

“Eh, don’t bother.  This will only take a moment.  Carry on.”  He waved at the gathering.  “I just need a word with my fellow King.”

Gabriel watched him cautiously as he took a seat and crossed his legs, the demon casting a glance over at Meg as an afterthought.

“May I help you?”  The archangel asked evenly.  “Man, I gotta figure out who the hell put together this guest list.  They _really_ dropped the ball.”

“Don’t worry.  I’m crashing,” Crowley said proudly, then actually appeared surprised when Charlie put a drink in his hand.

The redhead shrugged and explained, “Hey, foreign relations, right?  Gotta stay on friendly terms!” before she skipped away.

Sam stood up tall next to Gabriel and crossed his arms.  “Exactly what’s so important that you couldn’t have waited?”

“Call off your demon-smiting Moose, please, Gabriel.”  He rolled his eyes, then leaned in to taunt, “Yes, I can tell you’re just splitting at the seams with juice, aren’t you?  I bet you’d _love_ to flex those muscles a bit.”

“Fuck off, Crowley, and get to your point.”  Gabriel watched as the demon sipped his drink and made a face, liquor clearly not up to his dickish standards.

“I didn’t appreciate my 'Terms and Conditions' being handled second-hand through your vampire lackey.  I wanted to make sure we were on the same page,” he rattled off and even though he clearly wasn’t satisfied with his drink, continued to nurse it.

“Please don’t tell me you brought a fuckin’ contract.  You _know_ I’m good on my word.  Don't insult me.  In case you forgot, although it wouldn’t surprise me if you were dropped on your head as a child, _I_ got you your goddamn kingdom back.”  The archangel narrowed his eyes dangerously.  “Try and hold onto it this time, kay?”

“Excellent.  I’ll ignore all the tasteless bravado and concentrate on the point.  Simply needed to hear it from you, darling.”  He stood up and glanced at Sam. “Lovely you two have worked out your differences.  I believe I’ll enjoy the party, now.  I believe Red said something about foreign relations?”

Both Gabriel and Sam’s jaws dropped as he proceeded to wander off to mingle like he owned the place.

It was Sam who stuttered out the words, “Did that just happen?   _Is_ this really happening?”

“You mean, is Crowley chatting it up with Pamela like they're new besties?  Then...yeah.”

“The _fuck_ is going on tonight?”

\-------------------------

Dean was distracted from a conversation with Kevin when Jo harassed him by shouting, “Hey!  Dean, I need you to go grab me more chips in the kitchen!” which he groaned over, but knew was his job.

Especially since Bobby and Ellen were still taking stock a few buildings over at HQ.

Except, once he pushed past the double-doors, he had realized his mistake.

This had been a damn _setup_.

There were no bags of chips waiting for him; there was only Meg in their spot, standing in the middle of the room with anticipation written on her face.

Before Dean could turn on his heels, she reached out and grabbed him with a desperate, “We need to talk!  Please!”

“No.  No, we don’t.”  Dean tried to pull away.  “I get it...your plan saved me and thanks for all that, but now that it’s done?  There’s nothing to talk about!”

“I told Cas.”  She blurted in an attempt to get him to stop.

And it worked.  Dean froze in his tracks, his blood running cold and his face turned white as he stared at her.

“That... _I_ should have been the one-”  He could feel himself begin to hyperventilate because he didn’t want Cas to find out about his infidelity.  

Not like _that_.  Not from Meg.  It should have been from him-

“Dean!  It wasn’t you!  It was the demon and he understands that.  That’s why I need to apologize!  That’s why I need you to forgive me...because the person I hurt was _you_ ,” she begged, seeing the visceral response the man was having and needing him to know it wasn’t his fault.  “Hey, look at me...Dean!”

She had to grab his face to get his attention and he looked wrecked.

“Listen to me.”  She refused to let go of his cheeks as she slowly pronounced, “I told Cas and he told me it was you who I needed forgiveness from.  And I agree one hundred fuckin’ percent.  Cas is _fine_.  He doesn’t blame anyone.  He’s only worried about you.  Do you get this?  Please tell me you get this.  And know how fuckin’ sorry I am.  I’m sorry I cornered you.  Just take a deep breath.  Everything’s okay.”

But that’s not how Dean felt.    
  
Nothing was okay about this.  The fact that Cas had heard it from her when it was-

He couldn’t calm down.    
  
Every word out of her mouth did nothing to calm him down.  They didn’t reach him.  All he could think about was how furious, how _betrayed_ , Cas must feel knowing what happened...how-

“Jesus!”  Meg snapped and moved her hands to her shoulders to shake him.  “Get this through your goddamn skull!  I get it.  You’re freaking out...but there’s _nothing_ to freak out _about_!”

“How can you say that?” he asked incredulously.  Then a power behind his voice rose.  “Your girlfriend was there with you!  You didn’t hurt Anna.  You did the exact opposite!  You had a grand ol’ time!”

“ _You_ weren’t there either!”  She matched his volume and looked like she was a second away from slapping him.  “That’s the whole point!  It _wasn’t you_!”  To avoid any violence, she clenched her fists at her side and begged him again, “That’s why I’m sorry.  That you’re feeling this way.  But please, Dean...let go of this weight.”

Slowly, the words _“you weren’t there”_ began to sink in.    
  
Because even though the memory had sifted into his brain during the attempted merge with the demon, it was just that.  A memory.  And that part of him was gone.  So was it possible?  Could he let go?

Meg looked so pathetic.  She looked even more wrecked than he felt and Dean knew just how hard it was for her.  She didn’t do apologies, let alone two, and her normal MO was a one-liner and promptly walking away.  Right now, it looked like she wasn’t letting him leave until she got through to him.  Until he finally got it.

Because despite everything...Meg was still someone he cared about.    
  
Someone who had been his comrade, who had watched out for him.  And even though she had made a mistake (a _giant_ fucking mistake), she was trying so fucking hard to make up for it.  It wasn’t for herself.  It wasn’t to get off Dean’s shitlist.  It was to help him through this skeleton in his closet.

Almost as though she had read his mind, she tried again with, “I know you still hate me and I wasn’t expecting us to go back to normal.  I just need you to realize this doesn’t fall on you.  Not one part of it is your fault.  I’m here to take the blame and tell you I’m sorry.  But I-I need to know that you’re using friggin your brain.  And recognize you didn’t do anything wrong.   _You_ were _never_ that deranged fuck we killed.  Tell me that and I’ll leave.  You’ll never have to see me again.”

Dean’s breath was still racing from his initial fight-or-flight response, but when she put it like that it made sense.    
  
When the demon was alive and well on Earth, it seemed like they were two sides of the same coin.  Like everything he did reflected on Dean.     
  
But once they were inside Dean’s head?  When he had shown his true colors?  They couldn’t have been more different.  

The guilt had eaten him alive and so he’d hidden, he hadn't known what the demon was capable of because he had retreated to his own waking dream.  He'd isolated himself from everything, hoping to be lost forever, and because of that...he was ignorant to the demon's madness.  But when they were face to face, Dean realized they were separate entities completely.

After all, their souls wouldn’t have mended into two _whole_  new beings if they hadn’t been.  
  
Seeing the sick, warped creature they’d killed?  Meg was right.  That creature wasn’t him.  It would never, could never, be him.    
  
It had made choices he never would have in a million years because he was born from Hell.  He wasn’t the part “poor Dean couldn’t handle.”  He was a nightmare that wore his face and...that was it.

So he nodded slowly and sighed, finally meeting the woman’s eyes.  “Okay, yeah.”

Meg lifted an eyebrow, hesitant to ask, “Does that mean you get it?”

He nodded solemnly and chose his words carefully, “I get it.  Don’t think I would have until I finally came out of hiding.  But seeing him for what he really was, the way he was replaying the palace from the final battle?  Yeah, that means I get it.”

Her small frame all but collapsed in relief and she muttered, “You have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that, kid.”  Then she ran a hand through her hair, sighing.  “I’m glad you’re back.  Jesusfuck, am I _glad you’re back_ ,” she told him with a sincere smile.  “That’s all I came for.  Like I said, you’ll never have to see me aga-”

“Meg-” His voice was hushed and it barely grabbed her attention from where he was departing through the back door.  “Thank you.  For the apology.  And...” he swallowed around the words, “You really don’t have to be a stranger.  Hell, it was you who saved my life.  Again.”

She cocked her head to the side like she hadn’t heard him right and let the words simmer.  “You’re not just saying that so you can catch me in a Devil’s Trap and deep-fry me, right?”

“No, smartass.”  Dean rolled his eyes heavily.  “You died for us once.  Then yer genius turned around a hopeless situation into a Gabriel-power up, Sam getting his boyfriend back, _and_ me living Demon-free.  Fuck, just _living_.  Not to mention you didn’t have to come out tonight.  You wanted to make things right.  That takes guts.  Especially in a room of angels and pissed-off fighters.”

“Well, when you put it that way...”  She boldly winked at him.  “Maybe I’ll pop in sometime.  And...”  She gripped the handle to the back door with a ginger touch and said, “I’m happy for you.  Enjoy your party,” and then made her exit.

Dean watched the door she had escaped from and took a second to collect himself.  To be honest, he never thought he would come to terms with the demon's actions, but leave it to Meg to pound the truth into his brain.  She always had a way of forcing him to see the reality.  Hell, even way back when they were headed into the final battle, he felt safe with her next to him...just as much as he had with Cas.

He fucking hated that their friendship was in ruins, but maybe they were laying the groundwork for building it back up.    
  
After all, now that Dean was angelic (or whatever), they had all the time in the world.  The only thing he was worried about was what was happening in Cas’ head.  The angel had seemed normal before Meg had cornered Dean, so it couldn’t have been something life-shattering, right?

Still, it had Dean on edge.  But Meg was right: it wasn’t Dean who had done it even though he had the memory in his head and the woman was in his corner.  Hell, everyone was in his corner...

Even Cas, who had redirected her focus towards Dean.  He couldn’t believe he was saying it, but maybe...maybe he was glad the angel had.  He was damn thankful Meg had gotten through his thick skull, because the guilt was chipping away at him, and now it had all but evaporated.

Now the real question.

...was he supposed to dig around for chips to bring back for Jo?  Or what?

\-------------------

The rest of the party went off without a hitch, thank God.  Even though there were some very, very strange things happening, they weren’t of the negative variety.

Crowley was _mingling_ and apparently made some friends in Amelia and Jodie (already having a solid relationship with Tessa).  Neither of them knew he was the King of Hell until it was brought up.  And then, by the time the subject arose, they were too drunk and didn’t want to be “racists - is that considered racist?” and ignore him.  Actually, hearing the story of the way he evened out the Trilogy and acted more of a “checks and balance” character was enthralling to hear about.  He never wished to be a part of the bloodshed, that was more up Lucifer and Abaddon’s alley, and he wanted things to return to the way they were pre-apocalypse.

Gabriel rolled his eyes when he was eavesdropping on the tales he was sure about half was BS and had to pitch in his two-cents about how Crowley was still an asshole, but a decently harmless asshole, just to put the women’s minds at ease.  Sam kept watch of the scene with amusement and the occasionally mouthed, “Are you fucking kidding me?” as the narrative became more embellished and _impossibly_ elaborate.  
  
It was official: Crowley had a knack for weaving extravagant stories and entertaining the boozed-up masses.

Once Ellen and Bobby came back, they headed directly to the bar and announced Bela had, indeed, raided the pantry.  

They had already drawn up a list, handed it directly to Hannah, who glanced over it with appraisal and admitted, “She’s definitely making some hexbags, but what does she need with the Shivird’s bark?”

Gabriel had busted out laughing and interjected, “She’s gotta buyer for that!  That’s supernatural Viagra, is what that is!”

Hannah tilted her head to the side in confusion.  “But I thought the pharmacies began their start-ups last year?”

With a titter, the archangel scoffed, “C’mon?  You _really_ don’t know your ingredients?  That’s for longevity _and_ enhancement, sister.  No pharmaceutical made for that baby.”

“Oh.”  A blush spread across Hannah’s cheeks as she tucked the list away and then questioned to the group, “What need do we have of it, then?!”

It was Sam, who had been doing the majority of the inventory, who interjected, “That’s what it’s used for by itself, _apparently_ ,” glaring at his boyfriend, “but when mixed with other ingredients, you can use it in summoning rituals and teleportation spell work.  Leave it to Gabriel to know the phallic side of things.  I didn’t even know that!”

“It’s ‘cause we ain’t got no use for it, babe.”  He lavishly winked and drunkenly pulled the younger Winchester down for a borderline obscene kiss.

“Oh, God!”  Jo dramatically screeched from across the bar.  “Get a room!  As far away as possible!  You’re disgusting.”

“Just because you happened to walk by when-”

“We’re pretending that never happened, Gabe!”  The blonde rushed out and chucked a wadded up napkin from where she was standing.  “You two are unbelievable!”

The archangel threw his head back in manic laughter, but then turned to Sam and very seriously asked, “So do you wanna get out of here?  Think it’s coming up on last call and...” he paused to make sure he had the other man’s attention.  “I think it’s time to show you your new digs.  Whatta ya say?”

With an honest-to-goodness smile, Sam nodded and said, “Let me say some goodbyes then.”

“Hey, you’re not taking off forever,” he reminded him very seriously.  “You’re not being locked away in a castle, Rapunzel.  You can pop back over here whenever you want.  You know that, right?”

“Yeah.  I do,” he confirmed as he squeezed Gabriel’s hand.  “And I’m actually kind of excited to see your _Kingdom_.”  He chuckled around the last word and released his grip.  “I’ll be right back.”

“Take your time.” Gabriel blew him and kiss and turned back to gather both Andrea and Benny for the ride home.

\--------------------------

It was Cas who had pulled Dean outside.  His damn heart was in his throat because he knew exactly what this was about.  The angel knew he knew because of the silence that stretched between them.  Up until now, Dean was boisterous and rowdy, enjoying himself with the crowd and his friends, but the moment the two had locked eyes, there was this unspoken communication that had the angel leading them to the door.

Once they were outside, there was a small span of silence that Cas ended with a calm, “Dean-”

Yet he was swiftly interrupted.

“Meg told you.”  It wasn’t a question, but a statement filled with anxiety.

“Did you two make amends?”  Cas returned earnestly, taking a step closer.

“Amends?”  Dean blinked at the inquiry.  “That’s what you want to know about?  Out of _everything_ , you want to know if we _made up_?”

“Yes?” Castiel was confused because that’s what he had instructed Meg to do...so why was Dean speaking with such disbelief?

“You’re not pissed?  You’re not betrayed?  You’re worried if me and Meg are good?”  With every step forward Cas took, Dean took one back.

“I...admit it wasn’t the best news to get, but it was something that’s in the past.  A wrong that was done by someone inconsequential who has been dealt with.  Meg is the person who sought forgiveness and you were the only person who could give it to her.”  He watched Dean quizzically.  “You understand all this, right?”

“Yeah.”  He sighed heavily.  “She made me see it.  I’m just... Still getting used to it.  God, I feel like I need to apologize to _you_.  I feel like I did it to you and-”

“Was that the reason you didn’t want to come back to me?” Castiel asked very seriously.  “Because you felt you were the one who was unfaithful?”

Dean chewed his lip and nodded.  “It was so fuckin’ fresh in my head.  I could _feel_ every second of it, Cas.  I _experienced_ it and I couldn’t live with myself.  Jesus, it’s the last fuckin’ thing I’d ever even think of-”

“But you didn’t.” Cas reached out and kissed the other man chastely on the lips.  “You told me Meg helped you see that.  And while...I’m quite upset I nearly lost you over it, it’s irrelevant now.  We’re together.  I just brought you out here to make sure you’re all right.”  With a light caress, Cas’ eyes bore into Dean’s and he repeated, “You’re all right?”

“I’m with you, aren’t I?”  He couldn’t help the dumb smile on his face.  “We won.  I finally got...I-it wasn’t my fault and, yeah, that was thanks to Meg.  Guess you were right, sending her bitchy ass after me.”

“I knew she’d make you see it.”  Cas looked smug before he kissed him again.  “I believe I’m a bit intoxicated.  Do you want-”

“Oh, hey!  Sorry-” A voice came pitched from behind them.  “I didn’t mean to, uh, interrupt...”

They pulled apart and looked over to where Dean greeted with a huge grin, “Heya, Sammy!  How are you enjoying our big ‘Welcome Home’ party?”

“About to call it a night, actually.”  He shifted between his feet.  “Can I talk to you for a second, Dean?”

“I’ll be inside.” Cas smiled and excused himself, saying, “It was good to see you, Sam.”

“Same, Cas.”  He waved and was soon left with his brother.

“So what’s up?” Dean walked over and shoved his hands in his pockets so they were both leaning against the edge of the building.

“I’m...” Sam paused because of how absolutely _ridiculous_ the words sounded, but finally pushed out, “going to Purgatory.  Well, with Gabriel.”

“I know,” Dean replied easily.

“You do?”  There was confusion written on his face, not knowing why the hell his brother would know when he was just asked by the man tonight.

“Yeah.  He ran the idea past us at the beginning of the party and it made sense.  Especially since with all the grace I’ve got?  Cas is pulling me Heavenward.  Looks like we’re changing addresses.  Better than the River of Death, right?”  He chuckled and shook his head.  “I think Gabe wanted to make sure he got the brother-approval before he asked you.  Obviously, he did.  I signed off on it.  You guys are good together.  And if you don’t like it?  Just hop back up to Earth.  You never know.  The way Gabe described it, it’s like his own little party down there and you can be his princess.”

“He actually called me his Queen...” Sam made a bitchface in passing, recollecting the initial proposal.

“Hah!”  Dean clapped his hands together with a thrilled look on his face.  “Even better!  See?  It all works out!”

“Never thought it’d end up like this, you know?”  Sam’s voice took on a tone of nostalgia.  “I thought we’d just...cease to exist.  Save the world.  Be done.  Never thought we’d have the chance to live in it again.”

“We had a couple mishaps but, fuck, we worked for it, didn’t we?”  Dean emphasized and spoke with conviction, “It wasn’t handed to us.  If anyone says it’s too good to be true, it sure as shit wasn’t.  Not to mention Cas and Gabe?  They searched for us.  The _entire time._  Even though we were supposed to be gone, they never settled.  This wasn’t a goddamn cake walk for anyone.”

“It really _is_ our turn to be happy, isn’t it?”  Sam flashed a grin and looked right into Dean’s eyes.

With a pointed finger, he confirmed, “Damn right, it is!”

Sam turned to him and opened his arms, where his brother instantly followed suit and tightly embraced him back.

“It’s nice,” Sam mused against Dean’s shoulder, “Only place we’re jumping is into portals.  You to Heaven...me to Purgatory..." he sighed almost wistfully, "It’s...kind of like a full circle.”

Dean scoffed and patted Sam on the back as they pulled away.  “Hey, this time, _we’re_ gonna do great.   _We’re_ gonna do our victory dance because we made it here together.”  Dean recalled their last words before their final sacrifice and amended it with, “No dying required.”

“Right?”  The younger Winchester couldn’t stop smiling.  “Well, I’m gonna take off.  Check out the other side.  But I’ll see you around, you... _holy_ jerk.”

“Does this mean I get to call you monster-bitch?”  Dean wiggled his eyebrows.

With a friendly eye roll, Sam groaned and swatted at this brother. “Fuck off.”

“I totally do!  This is gonna be fun!”  He mischievously rubbed his hands together. “Let the exploring begin!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although this is the end of _Hell of Your Design_ , keep a look out for the oneshot epilogue in the future! It'll give you a peek at what's going on in Heaven, in Purgatory and with the crew on Earth :) It will also cap off the _Triptychs and Tyranny_ series! After all, we do things in threes, right?
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed the sequel!


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